Look, I apologize if that title is trying to be too clever, but I’ll explain. On last night’s “American Idol,” the prelude to the big “Idol Gives Back” tonight, a few of the contestants stepped up their game, and a few others regressed. Some pretty badly.

Before we get to the recap, let’s talk about the rest of the week. Tonight is “Idol Gives Back” and then tomorrow is the results show. That way it’s not all about charity….unlike last year, someone WILL be eliminated this week. Secondly, I’m sick of two things. One, Paula Abdul. She needs to SHUT THE F**K UP before I punch a hole in my TV screen….I mean, make your point and then let Simon make his, otherwise you look ridiculous. The other thing I’m sick of is Carly Smithson. She is a good singer, but tries so hard that she just loses me. More on her in the recap, so here we go…

THE GOOD

Kristy Lee Cook was damn good last night, and she looked really good too. Kristy sang Martina McBride’s “Anyway” and it was one of her best showings yet. It was a great choice and she delivered it with conviction. It was actually the first time I looked at Kristy as a possible contender, and that kind of scares me. Randy said it was pitchy in a couple of spots but that he loved it. Paula said it was her best yet. And Simon said it was very very good and that she looked like a star.

David Archuleta took on “Angels” and I’m not sure who did this song originally but I’m pretty sure it was a country song. Whatever, he really was great, and played piano as he’s done before. What I like about David is, unlike Carly, he doesn’t force it…..he just lets the song flow. Randy said he loved it, Paula said it was fantastic, and Simon said it was not David’s best vocal but it was the best song choice of the night and that he will sail through.

THE IN-BETWEEN

Michael Johns kicked off the show with Aerosmith’s “Dream On” and at first I thought “uh-oh,” because it’s such a difficult song to sing. And Michael came close to pulling it off, but not quite. And he really shouldn’t have attempted the screams at the end. Randy said it was a good choice but that there were pitch problems, Paula disagreed with Randy and said Michael sounds as good as he looks, and Simon thought it was a good performance but that Michael tried too hard to be Steven Tyler and that hurt him a bit. Exactly.

Jason Castro did the ukelele version of “Somewhere Over The Rainbow,” by some dude named Bruddah Iz….and while the judges were blown away, I have to admit that I wasn’t. It was pretty good but I found myself wanting it to end. Randy said it was “hot,” Paula said Jason has a definitive sound and Simon said it was fantastic.

Syesha Mercado took on Season 3 champ Fantasia’s “I Believe,” and you just knew she wouldn’t compare to Fantasia, so why bother trying? She clearly wasn’t in Fantasia’s league either. Randy said there was no connection but that it was okay, Paula said it was one of Syesha’s best (whatever) and Simon said she sang it well but that it lacked Fantasia’s big wave of emotion. Exactly.

Brooke White closed the night with Carole King’s “You’ve Got a Friend” and instead of playing the piano, Brooke stood in front of the stage and let someone else play it. I was waiting for a big payoff that never came, and I say that respectfully because I really like Brooke. Randy said it was not her best but okay, Paula said it was perfect (whatever), and Simon used the words “pleasant” and “nice.” That’s about it.

THE BAD

Everyone who reads this blog knows I’m a David Cook fan, but the dude really tanked last night. He took on Our Lady Peace’s “Innocent,” and not only were the low notes all over the place, but the whole performance was weird and disjointed. I had this guy as my favorite but he may have dropped a notch after last night. Or maybe we give him one mulligan. Randy said it wasn’t David’s strongest performance and that it fell short, Paula said he is the “whole package” (whatever) and Simon said he didn’t like it and that it came off as pompous.

Carly Smithson is probably going home Thursday night. She has a powerful voice but doesn’t quite know how to use it, because all she does is shout and try to look like a videotape for vocal technique. What’s more, Carly sang Queen’s “The Show Must Go On,” and it was HORRIBLE. The song itself is kind of all over the place, but Carly didn’t do it any favors. Randy said it was pitchy and just okay, Paula said she didn’t feel a connection (and if Paula didn’t like it, there is a problem), and Simon said Carly looked good this week but that it was an unusual song choice that Carly oversang, and that she is in danger of being voted off this week. Simon put it perfectly, especially the part about being in danger.

So that’s it. Tonight we have the “Idol Gives Back” special and then Thursday it’s the results. Carly is probably a good bet to go home, but also in danger are Syesha and an outside chance to Michael, Jason and Brooke.

See you all tomorrow….