How ironic that I should’ve spoken in a write-up the other day about how Hollywood would never allow today’s crop of filmmakers to successfully reproduce the feel of horror flicks from the ‘70s and ‘80s. As I watched “Dark Ride,” all I could think was, “Holy shit, here’s someone who’s actually trying to get away with it!”
Everyone knows that the best films are those that address universal fears, and while you just don’t happen upon dilapidated old amusement parks as often as all those old episodes of “Scooby-Doo, Where Are You?” would have you believe, anyone who’s ever been to a traveling carnival can surely appreciate the inherent spookiness of a so-called “dark ride.” (Honestly, I wasn’t even familiar with the term until I started working on this write-up, but it seems to be a universally-accepted phrase that’s used to describe any indoor amusement ride involving a vehicle which rides through various animated scenes.)
Writer / director Craig Singer begins “Dark Ride” with all the right pieces to create a classic slasher film scenario. Two young girls are killed on an amusement park ride, which results in the park being closed and their killer being institutionalized, but several years later, two things happen almost simultaneously: the park prepares to re-open…and the killer escapes from the institution! Meanwhile, a group of teenagers have decided to sneak into the park and enjoy the rides before anyone else gets the chance. Do I smell a slaughter on the horizon…?
Well, duh.
The first thing that horror aficionados will notice about the premise of this movie is that it’s strikingly similar to Tobe Hooper’s 1981 film, “The Funhouse,” where four teenagers spend the night in a carnival funhouse and find themselves stalked by a crazy guy wearing a Frankenstein mask. In the audio commentary for “Dark Ride,” writer / director Craig Singer assures listeners, “I really never thought of that as inspiration.” Okay, fair enough, I can buy that…mostly because Singer is so forthright throughout the commentary. He acknowledges that he’s gone out of his way to have an almost-cheesy vibe to the film at times, but he’s also proud that he’s taken the time to make sure that each of the teenagers in the film has their own distinct personality.
Unfortunately, Singer’s desire to expand the identities of the characters drags down the movie a bit, especially during the interminable ride to the park; I’m all about his good intentions, but even *I* just wanted them to get on with the killing. Worse, not every actor offers a performance that’s worthy of Singer’s noble efforts. Thank God for Jamie-Lynn Sigler, who deserves the Sarah Michelle Gellar Award, an honor presented to any actress who tries to make the move from TV to movies via a horror flick; she can actually act, which places her head and shoulders above your average scream queen from the word “go.” Also in the cast is Patrick Renna, who’s probably still best remembered for his role in “The Sandlot”; he’s saddled with a character who’s constantly spouting trivia, but at least he’s got good comic timing. Beyond that, though, it’s a big ol’ ham-fest, with the worst offender being Jennifer Tisdale, whose sister Ashley (“High School Musical”) was apparently the only one in the family to get the good-acting gene. Fortunately, once “Dark Ride” makes its way into the park, things look and feel so creepy that you’re generally on edge even when the acting does venture into sub-par territory.
The gore is gloriously over the top at times, such as when one of the girls is decapitated while in mid-fellatio, but like the recent “Wrong Turn 2,” “Dark Ride” often fails with its attempts at dark humor by shooting right past dark and into “none more black” territory. Still, kudos to Singer for coming a lot closer to capturing that old-school horror feel than the majority of his peers.
