After three consecutive days of offering Scares of the Day that I’ve legitimately enjoyed watching and talking about, it’s definitely time to take a dip into MGM’s Midnite Movies series. If you’re a fan of cult cinema and you’ve never taken a dip into a Midnight Movies DVD…well, then, frankly, you’re a really, really bad fan of cult cinema, because lord knows it’s one of the best imprints out there. In fact, if there’s any issue to be had with it, it’s that MGM often lets the films go out of print pretty quickly after releasing them, so when you hear that a new disc is coming out, your best bet is always to grab it ASAP.
Of course, like so many Midnite Movies, whether “The Food of the Gods” truly falls into the category of “Must Own” is gonna depend on how well you enjoy the kind of film that’s so bad it’s almost good. While both the cover of the DVD and the actual title screen of the movie would have you believed that it’s based on an H.G. Wells novel, that’s not entirely true; when you get deeper into the actual credits of the film, the actual descriptor is that it’s “based on a portion of the novel by H.G. Wells.”
Man, if that’s not an understatement.
The novel starts off by focusing on two scientists, Bensington and Redwood, who are conducting research into the growth process of living things; they create a chemical foodstuff called Herakleophorbia IV that accelerates and extends the process past its normal cycle, set up an experimental farm, and test the substance on chicks. There’s a relatively brief sequence in the book where a couple who’ve been hired to run the farm slack off and accidentally allow other creatures – wasps, rats, etcetera – to get into the food, which results in a showdown with the other creatures and the destruction of the farm. Beyond that, though, the novel’s scope encompasses several decades, exploring the effects of the food on humans and how human society evolves when some are giants and some are still normal-sized.
If that sounds fascinating to you, you’d best just stick to the book.
In the movie, an elderly couple just kind of happens upon this strange substance near their house. They live on an island, and it seems to have just come into existence naturally, so they feed it to their chickens…and when they’re on the verge of trying to maybe make a few bucks off of it, that’s when they realize that rats, wasps, and even flesh-eating worms have gotten into it as well. It’s still not a bad idea for a horror film (or monster movie, if you’re a purist), but with a budget which appears to have consisted of whatever happened to be in director / producer Bert I. Gordon’s pockets at the time he pitched the flick, the only “food of the gods” on display here is cheese. There isn’t a single sequence involving the giant rats that doesn’t instantly inspire an explosive “BWA-HA-HA-HA-” of laughter; it’s painfully obvious…albeit hilariously so…that the normal-sized rats are going after Matchbox cars, model houses, and so forth. There are Sid & Marty Krofft productions with better special effects than “The Food of the Gods,” but, then, anyone who saw the trailer for the film would’ve known what they were getting into…
Marjoe Gortner certainly isn’t the kind of thespian who deserves leading man status, but there are actually a couple of enjoyable performances in the film. It’s a given, I suppose, that Ida Lupino does a fine job as Mrs. Skinner, given her history as both as actress (she co-starred with Bogart in both “They Drove By Night” and “High Sierra”) and director (1953’s “The Hitch-Hiker” is generally considered to be the first woman-directed entry in the film noir genre); she’s just on a whole other level from anyone else in this film, coming off as convincing even when she’s pleading for mercy from the Lord Almighty if he’ll just prevent her from suffering death at the hands of giant rats. Jon Cypher (you probably remember him for playing General Craig on TV’s “Major Dad”) takes the role of Morgan’s best friend, Brian, and comes out as the only person in the film who seems to have a lick of sense, making it clear that he thinks Morgan’s nuts and is only there because he’s his friend; Ralph Meeker, meanwhile, may not be the best actor in the world, but he certainly plays businessman Jack Bensington like he’s the biggest asshole in the world. You know how Alan Rickman took his role as the Sheriff of Nottingham and turned it into something so impressive that he’s officially the only person who can actually cite “Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves” as a career highlight…? Well, Meeker’s not quite on that level, but he definitely approaches it when his microbiologist underling narrowly survives being eaten by a giant rat and his first response is, “Well, thanks to you, kid, we missed the last ferry!” That’s gold.
The film’s big finale, where the rats meet their Waterloo (emphasis on the water), is absolutely preposterous, which is only appropriate when considering everything that’s preceded it, but it’s the attempt to tack on a “Twilight Zone” coda that’s vaguely inspired by the original novel will make you want to smack someone. It’s not even done in such a way that it was setting up a sequel; it’s a “my God, what if this were real?” kind thing, and it’s painful.
12 years later, someone did, however, have the idea that the world was clamoring for a sequel to this flick, and we were blessed with “Gnaw: Food of the Gods 2.” I’ve never seen it, and while I admit to having some perverse curiosity about how a decade’s worth of special effects advances have affected the look of giant rats, to my way of thinking, this comment from the Amazon page for the DVD says it all: “It’s not as good as the original ‘Food of the Gods.'”
Well, I’m out.
