Yep, ABC’s released their 2007 – 2008 schedule, and, as you probably guessed from the title of this posting, the biggest focus isn’t on how good or bad the new shows look but, rather, how lazy it looks for the network to have picked up a series that’s inspired by a series of commercials. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely laugh every time one of those commercials is on, but that doesn’t mean I want a half-hour series based on them…especially not when it means that “The Knights of Prosperity” gets cancelled and “The Thick of It” – starring Michael McKean, Oliver Platt, John Michael Higgins, and Alex Borstein – is passed over for pick-up. (How does that happen, anyway? The pilot was directed by Christopher Guest, fer crissakes!)

But that’s enough complaining for the moment. This is intended as an educational post, not a bitter diatribe. (Besides, there’ll be plenty of time for that sort of material in our Fall TV Preview!) So let’s take a look at how the fall schedule will look…and, uh, let’s also clarify that we’ll probably still end up getting snarky along the way.

MONDAY

We begin with more of that star-dancing crap at 8:00 PM…an hour and a half of it, apparently, since it isn’t until 9:30 that we’re scheduled to see the new Christina Applegate sitcom “SAM I AM.”

“Sam I Am” – When a terrible accident leaves Samantha “Sam” Newly in a coma for eight days, she wakes up with no recollection of any past experiences, memories or events. Faced with amnesia, Sam must start over. To her dismay she discovers that she wasn’t a particularly honest, good-hearted or loving person. In fact she was self-involved, narcissistic and devoid of real relationships – essentially a bitch. Sam must now struggle with her desire to be good and her temptation to be…not so good. Finding the line between good and evil is never easy.

Um…that’s a comedy? Well, anyway, after that, 10 PM finds another season of “The Bachelor,” which means we can’t get to Tuesday night soon enough.

TUESDAY

If it’s 8:00 PM on Tuesday night, it must be “Cavemen“!

“Cavemen” – Cavemen is a unique buddy comedy that offers a clever twist on stereotypes and turns race relations on their head. Inspired by the popular Geico Insurance commercials, the series looks at life through the eyes of the ultimate outsiders – three modern cavemen – as they struggle to find their place in the world. Joel, his cynical best friend, Nick, and easy-going little brother, Jamie, are contemporary cavemen who live in the suburban south and simply want to be treated like ordinary thirty-something guys. Despite their attempts at assimilation, Nick doesn’t believe mainstream society will ever completely accept them, Jamie seems to take it all in stride and Joel straddles the middle, torn between his friends, his more traditional values and his loving fiancée.

Meh. And adding to the meh-ness factor is the show they’ve paired it with, which sounds like it was taken from Cookie-Cutter Sitcom 101: “Carpoolers“.

“Carpoolers” – Less about saving the environment than male bonding, four guys from very different backgrounds relish their daily commute as they commiserate about their lives, jobs and families in the carpool lane. There’s Laird, the recently divorced playboy; Aubrey, the timid homemaker and breadwinner; the conservative and traditional Gracen; and eager newlywed Dougie. Together, between the pressures of home and work, these men find time to be themselves while driving to and from the office.

The one possible saving grace? One of the show’s writers and executive producers is Bruce McCulloch, from “Kids in the Hall.” But, then again, he also directed “Stealing Harvard.” I don’t have my conversion chart handy; does that mean he’s still in the positives, or does helming a Tom Green vehicle still drag your score down as much as it used to?

9:00 PM brings the “Dancing with the Stars” results show. I know I’m not the target audience, but…really? Two and a half hours of airtime strictly to watch amateur hoofers battling it out? Whatever. Thankfully, 10 PM brings the Spade / Shatner duo back to “Boston Legal.”

WEDNESDAY

Dang! ABC’s throwing caution to the wind on Wednesday and giving us a completely new line-up of three back-to-back dramas! First off, there’s “Pushing Daisies.”

“Pushing Daisies” – From Bryan Fuller (“Heroes”) and Barry Sonnenfeld (“Men in Black”) comes an unprecedented blend of romance, crime procedural and high-concept fantasy in a forensic fairytale about a young man with a very special gift. Once upon a time, a mild-mannered boy named Ned realized he could touch dead things and bring them back to life. Grown-up Ned puts his ability to good use, not only touching dead fruit and making it ripe with everlasting flavor, but working with an investigator to crack murder cases by asking the deceased to name their killers. But the tale gets complicated, as all tales do, when Ned brings his childhood sweetheart, Chuck, back from the dead and keeps her alive. Chuck encourages him to use his power to help others, instead of merely solving mysteries and collecting the rewards. Life would be perfect for Ned and Chuck, except for one cruel twist: If he ever touches her again, she’ll go back to being dead, this time for good.

Um…sold? Even Sonnenfeld’s recent track record can’t kill our enthusiasm for anything with Bryan Fuller’s name on it. Next up is the spin-off everyone’s psyched about. Well, maybe not everyone. But “Grey’s Anatomy” fans are certainly psyched to check out “Private Practice.”

“Private Practice” – From Shonda Rhimes, the Golden Globe-winning creator of “Grey’s Anatomy,” comes a story about new beginnings and old friends. Addison Forbes Montgomery is a renowned neonatal surgeon, respected by her friends and colleagues at Seattle Grace Hospital. Deciding she can no longer healthily co-exist with her ex-husband, McDreamy, and her ex-lover, McSteamy, Addison heads to Los Angeles for sunnier weather and happier possibilities. Reunited with her once-married, newly divorced medical school friends, Naomi and Sam, Addison joins their chic private practice. Featuring an all-star cast including Kate Walsh, Amy Brenneman, Tim Daly and Taye Diggs, “Private Practice” tells the story of a woman unafraid of change and willing to begin a new life.

Lastly, 10 PM brings us a show which instantly reminds us of “Brothers and Sisters,” in that you almost gloss over what it’s about because there are so many big names in the cast…although with a title like “Dirty Sexy Money,” we do concede to a little curiosity about the content.

“Dirty Sexy Money” – Some people say money is the root of all evil. They may be right. Nick George’s whole life has been lived in the shadow of the Darling family, but as an adult he’s leading the perfect life as an idealistic lawyer, until his father’s suspicious death. The absurdly wealthy Darlings of New York have asked him to take over his father’s job as their personal lawyer, but the money that will allow him the freedom to be an altruistic do-gooder is only part of the picture. That same money pulls him into the dubious doings of the Darling clan. Power, privilege and family money are a volatile cocktail.

Huh. Funny how the write-up for “Private Practice” played up its cast, but “Dirty Sexy Money” didn’t. You’ d think that headliners like Donald Sutherland, Jill Clayburgh, Peter Krause, and William Baldwin would warrant a mention.

THURSDAY

It’s the back-to-back behemoth of “Ugly Betty” and “Grey’s Anatomy to start the night, followed by “Big Shots,” another drama with a star-filled cast.

“Big Shots” – This is the story of four friends at the top of their game…until the women in their lives enter the room. Lines between boardroom and bedroom blur when these competitive but dysfunctional CEOs take refuge in their friendship, discussing business, confiding secrets, seeking advice and supporting each other through life’s surprising twists and turns.

Huh. Again, no love for the cast in the write-up, so we’ll fill you in: the four friends are played by Michael Vartan, Dylan McDermott, Christopher Titus, and Joshua Malina. You go, Titus!

FRIDAY

We start with the return on “Men in Trees” and finish with that long-running ABC staple, “20/20,” but stuck in the middle is “Women’s Murder Club,” which – as it stands right now – sounds like just another excuse to go out on Friday nights.

“Women’s Murder Club” – Based on James Patterson’s bestselling novels, The Women’s Murder Club, four working women in San Francisco – a detective, a district attorney, a medical examiner and a reporter – use their expertise and unique talents to solve murder cases. Each woman is successful in her own field, but because of their unique friendship, they realize that pooling their resources during investigations leads to undiscovered clues and answers in both work and their personal lives.

SATURDAY

Nothing spells Saturday night like three solid hours of college football, right? Right…? RIGHT? Hey, wow, there are so few viewers tuned in that you can actually hear an echo!

SUNDAY

Keep moving, people, nothing new to see here. It’s just “America’s Funniest Home Videos,” “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition,” “Desperate Housewives,” and “Brothers and Sisters.”

Lastly, we should mention “Cashmere Mafia,” which sounds awful…but the up side is that we won’t see it ’til “Dancing with the Stars” finishes its run.

“Cashmere Mafia” – Four ambitious and sexy women, who’ve been best friends since business school, try to balance their glamorous and demanding careers with their complex personal lives in the city that never sleeps. They’ve created their own “boys club” to protect each other and discuss their ups and downs as they try to have it all. What good is it to break the glass ceiling without girlfriends to share in your success?