American Idol: Are You Kidding Me?

So tonight the unthinkable happened on “American Idol.” Melinda Doolittle was voted off. I have this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, kind of like when the Giants lost in the playoffs the last two seasons. But it’s more than that. Melinda was a lock. She had this thing in the bag. Well, this proves more than anything that the show is not a singing competition. We realized that when Sanjaya made it as far as he did. Melinda is simply this year’s Eliott Yamin–a great singer who didn’t have the marketable look that Jordin and Blake have. America can see talent, but it sure as hell can’t hear it.

It went down this way tonight….no farmer’s market, by the way….

They showed clips of each contestant when they went home last Friday and got to perform in front of and hang with their hometown friends, family and fans. Jordin in Phoenix, Blake in Seattle and Melinda in Nashville.

Elliott Yamin got to come out and sing his new single, and pimp his tour that starts tomorrow. He also got to sport his new teeth and hair. Dude looked like a weird cross between Greg Brady and Peter Brady, and his teeth looked so unnatural that it was disturbing. But he sounded great as usual, and gives hope for Melinda, who my wife predicted will be the next Clay Aiken.

Also, Maroon 5 came out of a five-year hiatus and performed their new single, “Makes Me Wonder.” The band sounded great but singer Adam Levine looked a bit disinterested, and frighteningly thin. But it’s good to have them back in action.

Then the results….first, Jordin was safe….and I felt like that was it for Blake. Then Ryan had Melinda come out front, surely to tell her she was also in the final. But no…it wasn’t to be…..when he said “Melinda, the journey ends for you tonight,” I thought it was a joke. And I know Melinda thought it was a joke. The judges all said the right thing, that she’s got a bright career ahead of her, blah blah blah. But you know they are all looking at each other now that the cameras are off, and shaking their heads.

Props to Jordin and Blake, but I’m telling you, America….you screwed this one up, big time. Enjoy the final next week that me and millions of others will not give a crap about. Then watch as Melinda sells more records than either one of the finalists. Yeah, I’m bitter. But I know I’m right. See you next week.