Really now, was there anything more memorable from last night’s “American Idol” episode than Sanjaya’s hair and Haley’s legs? Like the Mrs. says, Haley knows what she’s doing. As far as Sanjaya, like Randy Jackson says, I just don’t know what to say. But I think maybe dude is trying really hard to get himself voted off the show.

This week the coach/theme person was Gwen Stefani, but the producers really cheated with the theme, because it was the songs of Gwen’s band, No Doubt, as well as all of her influences. That ranged from Donna Summer to The Police to The Cure to Cyndi Lauper and more. Anyway, I’ll tell you what was refreshing…the fact that Gwen didn’t pull any punches. She said things that were very telling…like, “If Chris doesn’t watch his tempo, he’s going to be in trouble.” And then that exact thing happened. But more on that later.

So here we go with the recap….

THE REALLY GOOD

Melinda Doolittle was Melinda Doolittle again and continues to Dooalot. Melinda sang Donna Summer’s version of “Heaven Knows,” and was predictably amazing. I decided during this performance that Melinda is someone I would pay to see perform and I’m litterally getting goose bumps thinking about it. Randy said Melinda knows how to interpret the songs she chooses, Paula said she has charisma from the word “go,” and Simon said it was an outstanding vocal but he hated her outfit. Really now, we don’t care what anyone but Haley is wearing.

THE GOOD

Lakisha Jones also chose a Donna Summer song, performing “Last Dance,” and while it was really good, it wasn’t typical Lakisha, and it sure as hell wasn’t in Melinda’s league. Randy called Lakisha the “Fly Diva,” Paula said it was good that Lakisha took a chance, and Simon said he loved the big notes and that it was a great vocal.

I can’t believe Phil Stacey is in this category, but dude really brought his A-game last night. Singing The Police’ “Every Breath You Take,” Phil not only chose the perfect song, but he knocked it out of the park. Randy said it was really solid, Paula said it was a good song choice but that Phil played it safe in the verses, and Simon said it was very good, surprising everyone in the room and in the audience.

Jordin Sparks took a huge gamble with No Doubt’s “Hey Baby,” and while there were moments of tempo and pitch problems, they were merely moments. Most of it just kicked ass. Randy said it was risky but great, Paula said Jordin is adorable, and Simon said that Jordin is the most improved in the bunch.

Gina Glockson did her best performance that I’ve seen last night, with The Pretenders’ “Stand By You.” At first it looked awkward with Gina’s rocker image and her choosing more of a ballad, but it really worked. Still, Gina annoys the crap out of me. Randy said it was one her best performances, Paula said Gina keeps improving, and Simon said it was “not one of her best, but THE best.”
Dammit, I guess we have to see more of Gina.

THE IN-BETWEEN

Chris Richardson took on No Doubt’s “Dont Speak,” and while it was pitchy in spots it was also really good in spots. I’m afraid for Chris because he was in the bottom 2 last week, but I think he’ll hang around one more time. Randy said he liked the flavor of the song, Paula said it was good, and Simon said it was a good choice but he wasn’t crazy about the vocal.

Blake Lewis sang The Cure’s “Love Song,” and I think it’s even a stretch to put him in this grouping because he kind of lulled me to sleep. But even though it was boring, Blake was pretty much on pitch.
Randy said it was not a great choice but was a good performance, Paula said she loved it and even hinted that we could see Blake in the finale (okay, Paula is officially retarded if she thinks Blake is better than Lakisha), and Simon said Blake has to be careful about being self-indulgent with his song choices.

THE BAD

I’ve been pimping Chris Sligh all along, but he was so bad last night that he could have punched his ticket home. Chris sang The Police’ “Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic,” and like Gwen Stefani predicted was all over the place. Randy said it was not good and off tempo, Paula agreed, and Simon said it was a mess.

Haley sang Cyndi Lauper’s “True Colors,” and while it was very much a karaoke performance, Haley really has amazing legs and they were out there for everyone to see, again. Randy said it was just “aight,” Paula said it wasn’t the best song choice, and Simon said it was “sweet but forgettable.” At least the judges weren’t blinded by the outfit.

(side note: Did anyone see Carrie Underwood on SNL? Her skirts keep getting shorter and shorter as well, and those legs of hers look like stilts…will somebody just put her in some tight jeans or something?)

THE REALLY BAD

Sanjaya came out with this “faux-hawk” hair style and it truly was remarkable. He attempted to sing No Doubt’s “Bathwater” and it was quite ridiculous. I mean, I’m not sure that Sanjaya can take his suck train any further. Randy said the hair was interesting (and nothing about the vocal), Paula said Sanjaya can sing but didn’t put his voice out there, and Simon said that Sanjaya is in his own universe, and that “If people like you, good luck.” In other words, pity the idiots that keep voting for this no-talent.

So my bottom 3? Chris Sligh, Sanjaya and Haley. And I really think Sligh is going home, if only because he was so bad, and because America wants to see what Sanjaya does with his hair next week.

Side note 2: You all didn’t see the commercials I did, but Belmont University here in Nashville bought air time and pimped the fact that hometown girl Melinda Doolittle is a ’99 graduate, and how they teach excellence, blah blah blah. It was incredibly self-serving and really distasteful. Yeah, the fact that Melinda went to Belmont makes me wanna go there too! How about the fact that Melinda was born with that talent and nurtured it as a backup singer for years, and it had nothing to do with her education?

See you all tomorrow for the results….