“Gymkata”
This may just be one of the worst movies that I’ve ever seen. World gymnastics champion Kurt Thomas stars in the cheesy 70’s action flick revolving around a deadly competition ineptly titled The Game. When Thomas’ character agrees to participate in the contest after learning of his father’s involvement, he must learn to master a new fighting style vital to his survival. Combining his gymnastics skills with karate, the art of gymkata is born. Oh yeah!
“Flicka”
Practically ripped from the pages of the Hallmark Movie-of-the-Week Guidebook, “Flicka” tells the coming-of-age tale of Katy McLaughlin, a 14-year-old girl who desperately wants to work on her family’s ranch, but is instead forced by her overbearing father (Tim McGraw) to finish school and attend college. When she discovers a black mustang up in the hills surrounding their home, Katy decides that she’s going to tame the wild animal by any means necessary. Based on the popular children’s novel, “My Friend Flicka,” as well as previous big screen (and small screen) adaptations, the family drama is brutally unoriginal and delivers the embarrassingly backward message that kids can do whatever they want because, well, your parents will give in eventually.
“Facing the Giants”
What better way to win than with the power of the Lord on your side? That’s right, it’s all about Jesus football in the direct-to-DVD flick “Facing the Giants” when the head coach of a failing Georgia private school team is taught a thing or two about faith. Filled with all the usual stereotypes you’d expect in a family sports drama – the star player leaves for a better team, the players are horrible students, and the new kid is given a chance to shine – “Facing the Giants” displays some of the worst acting I’ve seen in years. The film market has been flooded with football movies as of late, but not even I saw this coming.
“Dead Mary”
In this blatant rip-off of Sam Raimi’s “Evil Dead” series, a group of friends meet up for a weekend in the woods and accidentally summon the vengeful spirit of Dead Mary. Based on the old Bloody Mary game that we all played as a kid, “Dead Mary” is the most slow-going horror film in years. At a horribly paced 100 minutes, it takes well over an hour before anything remotely exciting happens, and even then it’s a bit lackluster. A poor showing from a genre film that you’d expect to excel in the direct-to-DVD market.
