Year: 2006 (Page 79 of 228)

Josh Blue Takes the Crown

Last night’s “Last Comic Standing” season finale was a reunion of sorts. Former champs Dat Phan, John Heffron, and Alonzo Bodden all performed, as well as show creator Jay Mohr. All of that made one thing perfectly clear……the level of talent this season was not nearly up to par with previous seasons.

First of all, Theo Von was announced as the download champion in the competition no one really cared about except Theo. Well, I guess it’s a good thing to put on his resume.

But after the hilarious performances (I think Heffron and Bodden are as funny as any comics out there today), Josh Blue and Ty Barnett lined up with host Unfunny Clark for the moment of truth. And in anti-climactic fashion, Blue was anointed the champ. I say anti-climactic, because both of these guys were funny, but this season left a lot to be desired, and each week the remaining comics were there strictly by default. This show needs to shake things up, and bringing back Mohr to host would be a good start.

But I shouldn’t take away from Josh Blue’s spotlight here…..the dude has become a role model for those with disabilities. Cerebral Palsey might keep many others out of a competition like this, but Josh is living proof that if you follow your dreams, anything can happen, no matter what any physical disabilities have to say about it. Kudos to him for that, and here’s hoping he has a long and successful career.

And now it’s time for Art Vandalay to hibernate. Good night all, Vandalay is OUT.

Girls just wanna tease sexually frustrated soldiers

Sit tight, American GIs overseas: Lindsay Lohan’s got your back. Or at least, so she says:

“I’ve been trying to go to Iraq with Hillary Clinton for so long,” Lohan, 20, tells Elle magazine in its September issue, after she was asked if she had any big plans for next year. “Hillary was trying to work it out, but it seemed too dangerous.”

She continues, “I wanted to do what Marilyn Monroe did (during the Korean War), when she went and just set up a stage and did a concert for the troops all by herself. It’s so amazing seeing that one woman just going somewhere, this beautiful sex kitten, who’s basically a pinup, which is what I’ve always aspired to be.”

Ahhh, good old Lindsay. None of that empowered feminist bullshit for her: “Make me a sex kitten, and do it now!” Kinda puts your heart right up there in your throat, doesn’t it, picturing a little freckle-faced eight-year-old Lindsay already dreaming of whale tails and push-up bras? It’s good for girls to have dreams.

Speaking of which, Lindsay may be well on her way to accomplishing this particular dream. James Robinson, the Morgan Creek Productions CEO who recently lambasted Lindsay for her shoddy attendance record while filming “Georgia Rule,” would no doubt be more than happy to purchase a one-way ticket to Baghdad for Lindsay. All she’s gotta do is ask.

“I Swear To God, It’s Not For Me, But…” (#5)

The Flying Nun: The Complete Second Season.

“I don’t understand,” says my wife. “How does she fly? Is it magic?”

Well, I begin to lamely explain (examining the back of the box to be sure I’m not completely talking out of my arse), it’s something to do with her nun’s habit catching the winds that blow around the convent in Puerto Rico where she resides. The uncertain look I receive in return clearly implies that she’s not buying this…and who can blame her? Sister Bertrille – played by Sally Field, who proves that even nuns can be cute – might be a slight young thing, but unless she’s got hollow bones like a bird, the laws of gravity would most definitely keep her on the ground.

Too bad the gimmick’s so completely goofy; it’s actually a cute, sweet show, and one which probably wouldn’t get off the air today, given that Catholicism is a major part of the program. Not that it gets even remotely controversial, but you know how it is these days: just the merest possibility that someone might make fun of religion has the boys down in Standards and Practices on edge.

They wouldn’t go anywhere near the panic button with “The Flying Nun.” The comedy is light and occasionally slapstick, and the guest stars are straight from sitcom heaven; Jamie Farr, Rich Little, Paul Lynde, Bernie Kopell, Alan Hale, Jr., Dwayne Hickman, and Gavin McLeod are just a few of those who pop up.

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