Year: 2006 (Page 34 of 228)

Must See NBC Thursdays are back.

And I mean they are REALLY back, baby. Remember the good old days, when you’d tune into NBC at 8 PM and you wouldn’t feel the urge to turn it off ’til the 11 PM news? Okay, so you might’ve taken an extended bathroom break during “The Single Guy,” but you know what I’m saying. Well, “E.R.” might not be everyone’s cup of tea anymore, but, by God, NBC has finally put together a 2-hour block of comedy from 8 – 10 PM that’s going to be a fucking BEHEMOTH!

8:00 PM: “My Name Is Earl”
8:30 PM: “The Office”
9:00 PM: “Scrubs” (starting Nov. 30)
9:30 PM: “30 Rock” (starting Nov. 16)

Seriously, that’s the dream line-up for me…and for anyone who enjoys laughing for two solid hours. It’s about time NBC put “Scrubs” back on Thursday nights, and thank God they’re saving “30 Rock” from the ratings no-man’s-land it was experiencing against “Lost,” because it’s a really funny show. “Scrubs” is showing up a bit earlier than anticipated, possibly because “Twenty Good Years,” the Lithgow-Tambor lovefest, has been yanked and put on hiatus for the time being.

Man, I’m psyched. This is gonna be awesome.

Jericho, Episode 6: WORST. ENDING. EVER.

Oh. My. God.

I don’t think the producers of “Jericho” could’ve come up with a more annoying ending unless they’d had everyone join hands and sing “Good Morning, Starshine” over the goddamned closing credits.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

This week’s episode begins where last week’s ends: with those missles going into the air. A few minutes later, there’s an electromagnetic pulse and the power goes out. Cut to the opening credits (such as they are), then go to commercial. When we come back, we get a title card that informs us that two weeks have passed…but, strangely, the only thing that seems to have happened in that time is that kids are now playing baseball with their cell phones. I guess that’s supposed to show us that the phones are all dead now, thanks to the EMP.

Actually, there have been a few developments in that time. The Mayor has “the flu,” or at least that’s what everyone’s being told. Robert is still majorly paranoid around his family, but he’s managed to incorporate himself into the local police force pretty well. Stanley’s crops are infested with bugs, which turns him into an instant asshole. Also in those two weeks, Dale started running with a bad crowd, though we don’t really get much clarification as to how that came to pass, and Eric is steadfastly avoiding talking with his bartender babe, even though he and his wife don’t seem to have been getting along that swimmingly.

We get more clues about Jake’s reasons for leaving town, including his dad’s key line, “You left town and a boy was dead.” We meet his former cohort, Mitch, who’s apparently started stealing horses for fun and profit, and we get a little bit more detail from the conversations between Mitch and Jake, including Jake’s comment about how “I told you I wasn’t going to rob anyone.” Oh, yeah, and Jake’s mom gets trampled by some horses, which is actually kind of a scary scene…but maybe that’s just because I have friends who are equestrians and have told me about the dangers of finding yourself underfoot of one horse, let alone several.

Okay, fine, I’ve waited long enough: what about that fucking ending…?!? Oh, CHRIST, it was bad. After spending the episode with Stanley being an asshole about not wanting to share his crops with the town, then getting all whiny and asking, “Is this what we’ve come to,” the whole town shows up and, to a soundtrack provided by the new Jakob Dylan album (which is helpfully hyped after the credits roll), helps him harvest his crop. It was so schmaltzy that I just kept smacking my forehead with my notebook, repeating over and over again, “This is not happening, this is not happening.” We got no further details about the government, making the phone call and broadcast from last week nothing more than a tease, and the last few seconds of the episode, with that brief encounter between Jake and Mitch, was in no way enough to redeem the big steaming load of dung that immediately preceded it.

Okay, Mr. Paulsen, I’m with you. “Jericho” is now officially on notice. Enough with the conflicts within the town; give me more of the big picture sooner than later, or I’m on the verge of walking.

Every man for himself

Sawyer has continually proven himself as one of the more interesting characters on the island (along with Sayid and Hurley), and though tonight’s episode didn’t reveal anything particularly special or groundbreaking, it still delivered some of the best material of the new season. That’s saying a lot considering this wasn’t even that great of a Sawyer episode, but we did learn quite a few things about our favorite Cajun conman. Like how that woman he last conned (Cassidy, played by “Deadwood”’s Kim Dickens) had him sent to prison, and how that very same woman gave birth to the couple’s love child.

I’m still not entirely sure what to believe on the while kid front. While giving Sawyer a daughter would certainly make his back story that much more intriguing, I have a sinking feeling that Cassidy was just conning Sawyer out of his newly acquired bank account. You know, the one that he got (along with his freedom) for helping the prison warden track down the whereabouts of $10 million stolen by another inmate. When asked what they should do with the money, Sawyer tells them to put it in an account under the name Clementine Philips. I don’t remember Cassidy ever telling him what the baby’s name was, but who else could it be?

Back on the island, Sawyer is hatching a plan to get him and Kate out of the zoo cages – especially now that the Others seem more concerned with their dying friend, Colleen – but he must have forgotten all about the surveillance cameras, because his plan is quickly thwarted. In return, Sawyer gets a little torture (mad scientist style) and is implanted with a pacemaker that will kill him if he gets too excited. Strapped with a heart monitor to keep track of his beat, Sawyer is sent back to his cage and warned not to mention anything about it to Kate, for she would be forced to suffer the same fate.

Meanwhile, Jack is brought in to operate on Colleen, but when she goes in to cardiac arrest and there is no crash cart to revive her, she dies. This sends her dumbass boyfriend (who Sawyer wittily referred to as Chinatown for his bandaged nose early on) into a frenzy, beating the shit out of Saywer until Kate confesses her love for him. Later on, when Sawyer brings it up again, Kate says it was just to protect him, but we know how she really feels. It doesn’t really matter, since Sawyer seems to have proven his love for her to the Others. And honestly, I think that’s all that matters right now. Oh right, and apparently Jack now knows why he’s really on the new island. He’s been brought to the Others’ camp to perform spinal surgery on none other than Benjamin himself.

In any event, Sawyer soon discovers that the pacemaker isn’t even real, and Ben informs him (while showing just how far away from the old island they really are) that the “only way to gain a conman’s respect is to con him.” Very smart, Ben. Very smart indeed. Unfortunately, he goes on to explain that while Sawyer is pretty good at what he does, the Others are much, much better. There goes that well-earned respect right out the window!

And in other news, it seems that Desmond’s newly gained powers are pretty worthless. Just kidding, but seriously, is predicting a rain storm the best he can do? Charlie doesn’t seem to think so, and that look in his eye makes me think that he Desmond might be gaining a couple new allies over the coming weeks. Charlie, Hurley and the newly introduced Paulo (played by Brazilian sensation Rodrigo Santoro) will no doubt join ranks with the super powered Scot and form a cool little group of their own. Say goodbye to the Terrific Trio, and hello to the… Fantastic Four? Oh wait, that’s already been taken.

Rush Limbaugh, Humanitarian of the Year

Rush Limbaugh has publicly accused Michael J. Fox of faking his Parkinson’s disease symptoms.

Fox currently appears in a campaign ad for Democratic Senate candidate Claire McCaskill, who supports stem cell research in order to help find cures for debilitating illnesses such as the one from which the former “Spin City” star suffers. In the ads, Fox is visibly shaking as a result of his disease–which led conservative pundit Limbaugh to announce that Fox had staged the tremors in order to garner sympathy for his cause.

Following his announcement, Limbaugh presumably received a flood of calls from his three ex-wives and multiple ex-girlfriends, every one of them confessing that they’d been faking it the whole time, too.

“View’s” Hasselbeck hassles “SVU”

“The View” co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck is up in arms over an episode of “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” that features a character named “Elizabeth Hassenback” being raped and murdered. The character is close in age to Hasselbeck, and, like her, lives in New York. Claiming to feel “disrespected,” and calling the episode and its implications “socially irresponsible,” Hasselbeck called the show’s producers to demand an explanation. Instead, what she got was an insincere apology followed by a dial tone.

Stunned and appalled by her callous treatment at the hands of a Hollywood producer (a famously cuddly bunch), Hasselbeck is now attempting to blacklist all “SVU” cast members, prohibiting them from appearing on her show…which might be more of a threat if “The View” were actually considered a cultural tastemaker rather than a mildly entertaining means of passing the time between cups three and four of coffee.

Just the same, looking to make amends, producers for the show called back to chalk the character similarities up to coincidence…and encouraged Hasselbeck to tune in next week, when a lesbian character named Posey O’Connell will be force-fed chocolate bon-bons until her stomach explodes.

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