John Stewart will host the Oscars on March 5.
Of course, I would still be watching if someone incredibly annoying–like, say, Chrissie Hynde, for instance, or even Lindsay Lohan–were hosting…but this is still excellent news.
Year: 2006 (Page 225 of 228)
In a sure sign of a slow news day, the Associated Press reported Tuesday that Donald Trump enjoys his current job, and will not be running for Governor of the state of New York. Presumably, Trump will also not be running for mayor, dogcatcher, Best Personality, or President of the Hair Club for Men.
New Yorkers responded in kind by announcing that they won’t not vote for him, for those offices, nor any others, once the election rolls around.
Because our own Mike Wazowski can’t get enough of me reporting on her, and since it seems to be big news everywhere else I’m turning today, the sad facts are in. yes, Lindsay Lohan tried drugs and battled bulimia. Although she wants you to know that she never did cocaine, because “it’s a sore spot.” As if her stomach, muscles, and joints aren’t? Ha! Now, now, I’d like to wish Lindsay all the best. It’s nice to see her filling out once more. This leads to me a burning question, however. Do vegans who become bulimics just turn to dust instantly?
And can we rename this site Premium Lohan?
Gwyneth Paltrow may have played a loonybird onscreen more than once (“Sylvia,” “Proof”), but this time she’s been wolfing down crazy pills with nary a camera in sight.
Paltrow and her Grammy-winning husband, Chris Martin, have reportedly shelled out perfectly good money to install “birthing pools” in both their New York and London homes so that Paltrow can give birth to the couple’s second child underwater.
Not that the idea of relaxing in a hot tub instead of being trussed up in hospital stirrups with the entire cast of “Scrubs” peering up your Baby Expressway doesn’t hold a certain appeal…but is this wise?
A friend of Paltrow’s is quoted as saying the birth will be “special” and “spiritual”, and that Gwyneth has done “loads of research” on the topic. Sounds like her research failed to unearth one fairly well-established equation: water + lungs = dead baby.
Better hit those books a little harder, Gwynnie…
This might be even more devastating than the revelation that there was talk of Phil Hartman doing a live action Troy McClure movie: in the commentary for “22 Short Films about Springfield,” the executive producers Bill Oakley and Josh Weinstein reveal that they made the episode in hopes of creating a spinoff series that revolved around the entire city of Springfield, not just the Simpson family. I shed a single tear, for what could have been.
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