Year: 2006 (Page 196 of 228)

“Just because you’re paranoid / Don’t mean they’re not after you.”

There is a hilarious moment in the first few minutes of this week’s episode where Samwise Gamgee has to admit to President Buck Buck Brawwwwwk that CTU lost their lead on the nerve gas, after convincing the president that allowing the terrorists to set off a canister in a shopping mall was the best way to find the rest of the canisters. President Logan then puts Samwise in his place, saying, “No more excuses. You need to take some responsibility.”

Buffybot burst out laughing. “Hello, pot? This is kettle,” she said.

And, of course, she’s right. In the entire time he’s been on the show, Charles Logan has not made one decision on his own. Taking a stand means doing whatever Martha/Novick/Walt/CTU/David Palmer suggests that he do. And now, he’s talking about revealing the path of the Russian president’s motorcade, while the guy is still visiting him after signing a historical treaty, all because he doesn’t have the balls to stand up to the Warlock (good to see Julian Sands working, though it doesn’t look like he’s eating), who is threatening to gas Americans if Chicken Little doesn’t comply. Turns out I gave Goodbye Yellow Brick Tie a fitting nickname after all, huh?

A couple interesting things were set in motion this week. Samwise Gamgee is losing it, sensing betrayal and insubordination under every rock. The intriguing part is that he’s right; Audrey was indeed hiding information from him, as was Buchanan, as is Chloe. Likewise, Logan is losing it as well, completely over his head and torn between two radically different schools of thought: forthright (Marty) and subversive (Novick), the latter of which is far more appealing to his inner weasel.

But that’s not all. Nathanson, the man responsible for arranging the sale of the gas to the Russians, admitted that there is someone else working in the White House that was complicit in the day’s events. This week, they went waaaaaaay out of their way to paint Novick as the mole, but I sincerely doubt that he’s the bad guy. He may not like Logan, but he’s not going to risk having hundreds of thousands of Americans killed just to show his boss how much he doesn’t like him. There are still 16 hours left; it’s too early to guess, though I still hold on to my Wayne Palmer wild card.

The better bit was when the chip that Nathanson gave Jack to track the canisters was formatted with DOD software. That points a bony finger in Audrey’s direction. Or who knows, maybe even her father, former Secretary of Defense James Heller. I find this amusing as well, since Audrey was my dark horse bad guy pick last year. I was wrong then, of course, but how funny would it be if I were right in the end? Yeah, I know. It’s not gonna happen.

Tune in next week, when Samwise Gamgee has to admit that he doesn’t have his CTU key card because he was mugged by his sister’s pimp.

Box Office Roundup: Chilly dogs rule.

Based on Sunday’s estimates:

1) Eight Below: $19.8 million (first week)
Okay, which do you find cuter: doggies?

Or kitties?

2) Date Movie: $18.9 million (first week)
Putting Alyson Hannigan in a fat suit should be against the law.
3) The Pink Panther: $16.5 million ($42.2 million, second week)
Maybe if we stop looking at it, it will just go away.
4) Curious George: $11.2 million ($29.4 million, second week)
Guys, we need a tag line for the movie. “Show me the monkey”? Hey, that’s funny. You’re fired.
5) Final Destination 3: $10.1 million ($35.8 million, second week)
Has a nail gun ever made an appearance in a movie and not caused someone’s death?

Freedomland,” meanwhile, debuted in seventh place with a paltry $5.9 million (which probably doesn’t cover the movie’s craft services budget), and “Firewall” is already bounced from the top five. Harrison Ford personally sees to it that Virginia Madsen never works in Hollywood again.

George isn’t sorry

Well, there you have it. George Clooney is officially not sorry for making a joke about Jack Abramoff during the Golden Globes. As well he shouldn’t be. As well as I’m not sorry for seeing Syriana. Still, Jack’s father was not amused bu the joke and claims that the “glib and ridiculous attack” reduced his granddaughter to tears. TEARS, people! George Clooney caused TEARS. As if Jack himself couldn’t do that to his own spawn. Can you dig it? I knew that you could.

The cowboys are fine, but where has all my money gone?

To a little piggy bank in Box Office Heaven we like to call February. Four new candidates to rape you of your hard earned cash this week, including the romantic comedy spoof “Date Movie,” a movie that is apparently so bad that it wasn’t even screened for critics, the kidnapping thriller “Freedomland” that might as well have been called “The Forgotten 2: We Forgot We Already Made This Movie,” and the Disney based-on-true-events snow dog film, “Eight Below.” Sigh. The one glimmering hope of entertainment this weekend is in the semi-limited release of “Night Watch,” the first part of a Russian fantasy film that’s being hailed as Eastern Europe’s “Lord of the Rings.” A pretty hefty statement, but one that I’m excited to see nonetheless.

Like a bolt of lightning comes…

a tasty new beverage.

I just went to 7-11 to fill up my gas tank and grab some ice cream (a request from my wife), and, as I walked past the refrigerated beverages, a couple of cans amongst the energy drinks caught my eye:

seagal

Well, now, how could I resist? I plunked down my $2.49 and bought myself a can of the number one “Asian Experience Energy Drink” on the market. (Note: Position on list of Asian Experience Energy Drinks estimated.)

As soon as I got home, I ran to my wife and said, “Honey, look! It’s ‘a natural energy drink packed with vitamins and exotic botanicals,’ says Steven Seagal! You know you want to try it!” She looked at me as though I’d lost all sense of sanity, but she tried it.

Jenn Harris says: “Ugh. That’s disgusting.”

Steven, if you want that testimonial, I’m sorry, it’s gonna cost you. Have your people call my people; I’m sure we can come up with a deal that’s agreeable to both parties.

Me, I don’t think it’s nearly that bad…but, then, I didn’t buy it for the taste. I bought it as a conversation piece…and on that level, it most certainly succeeds.

UPDATE – 10:19 PM: Note to self. Steven Seagal’s Lightning Bolt is dangerous, dangerous stuff. I have cleaned the living room, watched four episodes of “Charles in Charge,” transferred burned countless MP3 files to disc, and may possibly have done a jig. Next up: trying to read a book…if my eyes will focus.

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