How many times can someone from the cast of “The Sopranos” get arrested before the rest of them say, “Well, that’s enough for me; I’m walking the straight and narrow from now on!” Well, until that happens, someone grab the chalk and put a check mark by John “Artie” Ventimiglia’s name; the man who plays the chef of the Nuovo Vesuvio restaurant was busted on suspicion of drunken driving and cocaine possession.
John, ya dumb bastid. What the hell were you thinkin’…?
Out on DVD this week:
1) Family Stone – RENT: For those who were expecting a family comedy, I feel your pain, but that doesn’t make this movie bad. In fact, it’s one of the better family holiday films out there.
2) Last Holiday – PASS: Queen Latifah has made ONE good movie. This isn’t it.
3) Delicatessen – RENT: Before Hollywood went all nuts on making sick and twisted films like “Saw” and “Hostel,” the French were already doing it… except they find it funny!
Also out this week is a re-issue of “Wyatt Earp,” season six of “King of the Hill,” a whole slew of classic shows on DVD (including “I Love Lucy” and “Leave it to Beaver”), and the made-for-TV version of “United 93.”
David Copperfield was robbed at gunpoint in West Palm Beach last week. Or, more specifically, his two female companions were robbed at gunpoint, while David “turned his pockets inside out to show that they were empty – a sleight of hand by the master illusionist, who later showed police that his pockets were filled with cell phones, a wallet and a passport.”
Fortunately, despite unchivalrously allowing his female companions to be separated from their plane tickets, a passport, a cell phone, and upwards of $500 in cash, while he himself retained all his valuables, Copperfield did eventually save the day by writing down the gunmen’s license plate number and reporting it to the police. Four teenagers were subsequently arrested for the crime, and will serve as assistants in Copperfield’s next grand illusion: the notorious “Four Thugs Chained Together In a Box with a King Cobra” bit that has yet to be performed without multiple fatalities.
Just in time for May sweeps!
Marvel Comics, not wanting to let moss grow undertheir feet after the upcoming release of “X-Men 3,” is already penciling in who’ll be helming its next few comic book inspired feature films.
* Jon Favreau (“Elf”) will be directing “Iron Man,” a flick which was, for years, chatted up as a possible Tom Cruise vehicle.
* David Self (“The Road to Perdition”) will be writing a script for the oft-discussed-but-never-acted-upon “Captain America” movie, as well as taking a stab at scripts for “Deathlok” and “Namor, the Sub Mariner.”
* Zak Penn – who wrote “X3” – was selected to put pen to paper and write a script for a “Hulk” sequel…which will make someone very happy.
* Mark Protosevich (“Poseidon”) is taking a stab at writing the script for “Thor,” whose biggest moment in motion picture history currently still remains “Adventures in Babysitting.”
* Andrew Marlowe (“Air Force One,” “Hollow Man”) is composing a “Nick Fury” screenplay…which has potential as long as the film doesn’t follow in the footsteps of the TV movie about Fury, which starred David Hasselhoff. (Still, that would increase the box office returns in Germany…)
* And, lastly, Edgar Wright (“Shaun of the Dead”) is to write, produce, and direct…wait for it…”Ant Man.” I have to say, of this entire bunch, this is the flick that seems like it has the most potential. “Shaun of the Dead” kicked ass. I’d love to see Wright turn the superhero genre on its head like he did for zombie movies…
Don’t forget to check out the Bullz-Eye.com piece about other upcoming superhero flicks, found here.
The producers of “24” are masters at misdirection. And I don’t mean misdirection in terms of twisting the plot in a way that you wouldn’t expect, but in their ability to keep you so enthralled with the events at hand that you never take the time to think: hey, where did half the cast go?
Unless you’re me, anyway. Don’t get me wrong: I’ve been enjoying this season of “24” more than any other, by a country mile. But let’s do a quick rundown of the characters that have conveniently disappeared for at least two episodes now:
– Vice President Leland Palmer
– Wayne Palmer
– Old Yeller
– The Warlock
This, after Mike Novick disappeared for about four hours earlier in the season. Surely, each one of these characters has a role to play. When are they going to play it? And what exactly will that role be? Are they all taking a much-needed nap? The answers to those questions intrigue me more than the events at hand, the whole ‘Sutherlands on a Plane’ thing.
But at least they ended the episode exploring the option that occurred to me the second that Bauer boarded the plane: shoot the damn thing down. It solves every problem. Bauer’s dead, the recording is destroyed, everybody’s happy. Yes, it looks extremely suspicious to everyone else, but the public doesn’t know squat about the day’s events, and the government won’t move an inch without concrete evidence against I.M. Weasel, which is why they fucking better examine the other thing about this plot thread that’s driving our astute readers nuts: play the Goddamn recording so someone else can tape it. This has gone on way too long. Someone, anyone, should have multiple copies of this by now. Hell, CTU should have uploaded it to Limewire and Kazaa for the world to hear by this time, since God knows that’s what someone would have done with a recording of a phone call that Tupac Shakur had with his gardener about how to prune the azaleas. (Note: I am merely speculating on the existence of such a recording. Surely, if such a thing existed, Death Row Records – excuse me, Tha Row – would have put it to a beat and released it as a single. They need the money.)
Forgive me, but I just started geeking out over how sweet it would be if the producers decided to use one of those p2p sites as CTU’s salvation. Of course, they won’t, since Fox owns a movie studio and copying movies is akin to raping your children in the eyes of the Hollywood elite. Still, some indie movie’s gonna use that plot device, and I’m going to laugh my ass off when they do.
We got a small glimpse at President I.M. Weasel’s old fraidy-cat self this week, when Novick was pushing him to give Marty some more drugs. He instantly went into “Buck buck brawwwwwk” mode, but calmed down once he knew what the shot was (“Glengarry Glen Ross,” holla). Suddenly, doping up his wife and giving Novick some cock and bull story about his marriage being a shambles solved a lot of problems. Of course, we’ll see how he feels about that decision when Marty overdoses. Are we all in agreement that that is not an if, but a when?
So anyway, the co-pilot is carrying the recording. Pretty smart, since it puts a locked door between Jack and the bad guy. Of course, Jack finds a way around that – I loved the bit where the one passenger thought he’d go all “United 93” on Bauer, only to nearly get his head blown off – and now they have to find a way to land the plane without getting blown out of the sky. Should be interesting.
Last but not least, mega super monster props to my girl Chloe for doing precisely what I thought she’d do with the drunk letch at the hotel bar. I didn’t want to ruin the moment for Buffybot, but as soon as I saw him, I knew that he would hit on Chloe, and I knew that Chloe would taser him…twice. It all went down exactly how I envisioned it, and it was bee-yoo-tee-ful. If I didn’t worry about Chloe cutting my dick off in my sleep, I’d marry her.
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