In yet another sign of the coming apocalypse, Cinematical has announced that Michael Bay intends to remake Alfred Hitchcock’s classic, “The Birds.”
Naomi Watts is rumored to be under consideration for the role originated by Tippi Hedren, and while Watts is more than capable of handling the job, we still can’t help wondering two things:
1. Which executive producer is going to tackle Bay’s inevitable question about “How do we get all these damn birds out of the movie?” and
2. What convoluted plot device (not to mention prickly negotiations with the ASPCA) will Bay employ in order to arrive at the film’s inevitable climactic moment involving thousands of birds falling from the sky while simultaneously exploding into glorious, blazing, feathered fireballs?
We’ve seen Hitchcock, Mr. Bay…and you, sir, are no Hitchcock.
