Guys and Balls
The following conversation occurred when a press release for the new comedy appeared in my inbox:

“I’ll check this out. It could be funny.”
“For real?”
“Sure, I’ll give anything about soccer a chance… even if it’s about gay German soccer.”

Unfortunately, it’s not very funny, and there isn’t quite enough soccer to warrant anyone not from the LGBT community to give this a shot.

8th and Ocean: The Complete First Season
This may just be the dumbest show on television. Ten superficial models lay around their free apartments in Miami, Florida bitching about the following “problems”:

1. I’m too skinny
2. I have acne, and my twin sister doesn’t
3. I’m so good looking, I can have any girl I want
4. I can’t take off my bra during a shoot, or Jesus might find out

Boo-hoo. What can only be described as “The Real World: Laguna Beach” (in other words, it takes the worst parts of both shows – which is pretty much everything), “8th & Ocean” may be appealing to teenage girls curious about the modeling business, but any other self-respecting person would never tune in to this garbage.

Windy City Heat
Dubbed by many as one of the funniest movies ever made, this Comedy Central production about an elaborate prank on wannabe actor Perry Caravello is one of the absolute worst “comedies” that I’ve ever been forced to sit through. Do people really find an untalented, overweight schmuck screaming like a banshee for 90 minutes hilarious? That’s just sad. Very, very sad.

Love For Rent
Oh gawd, just what we didn’t need: another lost-in-translation love story about a poor Latin girl who falls for a rich American guy. Don’t watch this film. Instead, go rent “Love Actually” or “Spanglish.”