“Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.”

…and said, “Sure, I’ll take the lead role in one of the most daunting book-to-film translations of all time. Piece of cake. Why not?”

The translation in question is none other than “Atlas Shrugged,” the sprawling, 1200-page epic penned by Objectivist author Ayn Rand back in 1957. Panned by some as an ode to selfishness, while lauded by others as a piercing indictment of communism and the welfare state, the book explores a future in which the nation’s greatest thinkers, artists and industrialists voluntarily withdraw their talents from public access — forcing the “little people” to fumble along without them.

According to a joint survey conducted by the Library of Congress and the Book of the Month Club, “Atlas Shrugged” is “the second most influential book for Americans today.”

Second only to what, you ask? The Bible. How’s that for high stakes?

And yet, if anyone can pull off the role of a woman dedicated to promoting “rational self-interest” above all else without coming off like a right-wing harpy…it’s probably the same woman who can steal the Sexiest Man Alive from America’s Sweetheart and, due largely to her significant humanitarian efforts, still come out of it smelling like a rose.

Good luck, Angelina. Don’t screw this up.