Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall…
Lindsay Lohan has fractured her wrist in two places. The official report is that she slipped and fell on it at a Fashion Week after-party because the host failed to take adequate precautions “to prevent slips on the slick ground.”
But we all know that’s not the real story, right? What really happened that night was either:
A), She broke it punching a wall after first-and-only-true love Wilmer Valderrama left the party with rumored fling Scarlett Johansson;
B), She smashed it against the face of whatever paparazzi leaked those shots of her firecrotch onto the internet;
C), The wrist broke all on its own, finally giving out after years of abuse lifting heavy glasses of alcohol and other long, hard, weighty objects; or
D), [insert your own explanation here]
Place your votes, folks! We’ll get to the bottom of this if it kills us…
