Back in April, while in the throes of a mad TV crush on Kristen Wiig, I started to wonder what cuts Lorne Scissorhands would be making to the cast of “Saturday Night Live” in the offseason. Here were my picks for the soon-to-be-departed:
Rachel Dratch
Tina Fey
Finesse Mitchell
Maya Rudolph
Horatio Sanz
And here’s who Lorne axed, through the simple omission of their names in a press release:
Rachel Dratch
Tina Fey
Finesse Mitchell
Chris Parnell
Horatio Sanz
Four out of five ain’t bad, if you’re playing baseball. Personally, I’m surprised by the departure of Parnell. I thought that he and Andy Samberg would be making beautiful “Red Vines + Mr. Pibb = crazy delicious” music together for years to come. On the plus side, that kills the Merv the Perv skit once and for all, so there’s that.
On another note, they announced the host and musical guest for the season premiere. The band is the Killers, and that makes sense since they have a new record out October 3. And for the host…?
Dane Cook.
I don’t know about you all, but I remember the last time he hosted “SNL,” and it sucked out loud. His new movie, “Employee of the Month” (which comes out three days after the Killers’ new album) looks even worse. This is looking like an ominous season premiere, especially with the Dane Cook backlash at fever pitch. Time to bring out that $5,000 check and get the Beatles back together again, Lorne.
