Month: July 2006 (Page 9 of 17)

Don’t mess with Aunt Lou

Deadwood Seth Bullock

This week’s episode was all over the map, with scenes featuring almost the entire cast, save the theater troupe, thankfully. The main issue to be resolved from last week was George Hearst’s incarceration at the hands of Bullock. The next morning, Hearst is no less mouthy as Charlie picks up the jailhouse around him. Charlie is more than happy to point out, in the next cell, the corpse of the union organizer that Hearst is believed to have stabbed (via proxy, of course). Later, when Bullock releases Hearst, the magnate goes over to the corpse, pulls out the knife, wipes it off on the table and leaves. Though I’m not entirely sure why Bullock released him, one thing’s for sure – Hearst has balls.

Sy continues to kiss Hearst’s ass, and now that he’s got Alma’s dealer, Leon, in his pocket, he actually has something to deal. Sy claims he can deliver her claim, which is the one thing in Deadwood that Hearst desperately wants. Surprisingly, Hearst tells Sy, “Don’t kill her yet.” Meanwhile, Leon, who seems to have a relatively good moral compass, visits Alma at the bank and tells her to find her drugs elsewhere. Trixie, who went out for a smoke, jumps Leon when he leaves the bank and tells him to leave Alma alone. Her concern is for “the child,” and she doesn’t want to see Alma continue down this treacherous road. Trixie confronts her inside the bank, and Alma gets uppity and ends up firing her only teller. Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt.

Despite his willingness to side with Hearst, Sy doesn’t like the way the man treats him and he pays E.B. $200 for any information that might help him in the future. E.B. immediately goes to Al, confused at Sy’s approach and says to Swearengen, “Save us. Think of something.” Al’s reply? “Have I ever not?”

On the heels of her dismissal, Trixie comes to Al and says in passing that she feels like she could turn a trick and Al goes off on her, explaining, “I lose patience with c*nts too ignorant to know when their lot’s improved.” I don’t think Trixie was serious about going back to prostitution, but it was interesting to see Al’s reaction when she brought it up.

One of the emerging storylines this week was the arrival of Aunt Lou’s son, Odell. After a Hearst power play in the hotel over who should rightfully invite someone to stay in his hotel, proving just how big of a prick he can be, Hearst becomes intrigued with Odell when he mentions a gold mining operation in Liberia. Hearst invites Odell to dinner and Aunt Lou is not happy about it, eventually resorting to tipping the bottle with Jane. After she gets her drink on, Lou marches down the thoroughfare saying (to no one in particular) that Hearst is not going to take her son.

Just prior to Lou’s march through camp, Hearst had an interesting scene with Al and Bullock that pretty much sums up the contentiousness of the season thus far. As Hearst goes off to dinner with Odell, he raises his middle finger to Al and says, “How’s the finger?” Bullock, letting his emotions get to him once again, replies, “How’s the ear?” but it’s unclear if Hearst heard him. The conflict between these three men will definitely be the main storyline over next few episodes, and I’m interested to see how Hearst gets out of camp alive.

In the sweet final scene, Joanie takes a drunken Jane in. It’s clear that Joanie cares about Jane. What’s not clear is the source of these feelings – is it friendship or something more? Hopefully, the series will explore that question in the coming weeks as well.

Making up for lost time

Just a couple weeks ago I said that I was bored with the third season of “Entourage.” It’s amazing how quickly a plot and some actual conflict can change a man’s opinion. Oh, and a threesome doesn’t hurt either.

This week was the Ari show and, thankfully, not one of his scenes involved his daughter. Instead, Ari spends the entire episode trying to get Vince on the phone, only Vince won’t talk to him until Ari gets Johnny a job. Problem is, Ari really needs to talk to Vince because Alan, the head of Warner Bros., upped his offer to $12.5 million if Vince will drop “Medellin” and dive into “Aquaman 2.” And Alan’s getting impatient, which leads to this week’s Ari moment, and it’s a classic: He walks into the conference room and tells all of his employees that the staff meeting has been canceled. Instead, their #1 priority is to find Drama a job. “I don’t care if it’s a porn shoot in which he is getting gang raped by a gaggle of silverback apes. If there are cameras rolling, everybody wins.” Wait…a “gaggle of silverback apes”? That’s, fucking, hilarious. Ari even goes so far as to offer the first person to get Drama a job $10 grand, and when Lloyd asks if he can get in on the offer, Ari responds, “Sure, but you’ll get paid in Yen.”

This entire episode served as one giant example of why Ari Gold is the best character going on TV today. “Deadwood’s” Al Swearengen gets some love too, as does John C. McGinley’s Dr. Cox on “Scrubs,” but when Jeremy Piven is given some actual material to work with, he’s unstoppable and unbeatable. Ari was on a rampage this week, nearly throwing his computer monitor through the window before Lloyd reminded him that it was a rental, and his conversations with Alan over the phone were priceless, saying he’d make sure Vince didn’t “pull a Chappelle” by bailing on the “Aquaman” franchise. He even sent text messages to E all episode, since he couldn’t get anybody on the phone. One said, “You drunken, Irish, short, midget cocksucker! I need someone to call me back!” Another simply said, “FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!”

I’ve got a feeling Ari’s going to get even more worked up in the coming weeks. Vince stuck to his guns throughout, telling Ari he wasn’t doing “A2” for anything less than $20 million, and when Ari finally tracked him down at home, Vinnie said all he really wanted was to get the days Alan promised him so he could do “Medellin.” Too late, apparently, as Ari tells Vince that the role was given to Benicio Del Toro. Vince is crushed, and he’s pissed. Ari tells him it’s over, that he needs to do “A2” or Alan will sue Vinnie. Fine, Vince agrees to honor his contract but he won’t go to breakfast with Alan the next day, and he won’t take the $12.5 million. “I don’t want to be indebted to some douchebag,” he tells Ari, and then says he’ll do the sequel for the $7 million they originally agreed upon.

I think Ari’s bluffing. Benicio Del Toro didn’t get “Medellin,” but Ari knew Vince wasn’t going to budge unless “Medellin” was no longer an option. So he lied. Just like he lied about Dom being caught on camera swiping the Shrek doll a few episodes ago. He was desperate then, trying to get Vince the “Medellin” role, and he’s even more desperate now. In fact, this parallel could explain why Dom was even on the show. We’ve seen Ari pull a stunt like this before, and now he’s doing it again, only he’s lying to Vince’s face. That’s not going to sit well with Vince, a guy who’s shown that he’ll stick to his principles no matter what, a guy who doesn’t like being lied to. Once he finds out that Ari lied about “Medellin,” Ari’s in deep shit.

Of course, that’s assuming I’m right about this, but after watching Ari tell Alan that Vince agreed to do the movie for $10 million (not $7 million), it’s clear that Ari’s not playing things on the level right now. Even worse, since Vinnie stood Alan up at breakfast, Warners apparently is having Jake Gyllenhaal do “A2,” which means that not only does Vinnie not have “Medellin,” he doesn’t have “Aquaman” either. I was hoping the writers wouldn’t figure out a convenient way for Vince to get both roles; I never expected he wouldn’t have either.

I’m running long already, so I’ll try to wrap this up quickly. Seems Drama’s in a “Godfather” video game, and seeing his CGI self say, “Thanks bro” to Marlon Brando was awesome. As for finding a job, well, Lloyd actually got him an audition, and it sounds promising, but true to his word, Ari tells Lloyd that, if Drama gets the role, he’d give Lloyd 10,000 Yen. It’d be great if we started seeing more of the Ari/Lloyd dynamic in the coming weeks. Hell, anything’s better than Ari and his daughter.

And that’s pretty much it…oh, right, except for the threesome. Wow. We haven’t seen Sloan all season (save for a brief appearance in the premiere), and then, suddenly, she’s having a three-way with E and her smokin’ hot friend Tori. Thank the writers for that. Sloan had a rule, though: E wasn’t allowed to have sex with Tori. Hey, sounds pretty damn fair to me. But judging by the fact that Tori and E woke up holding hands, it’s safe to say they didn’t exactly avoid each other the night before. It’s also safe to say the ménage is going to cause some problems between E and Sloan. Stay tuned.

Box Office Roundup: Ooooooh, Johnny Johnny Johnny

(Anyone besides the Mayor of Simpleton get that joke? Didn’t think so. Sigh.)

Based on Sunday’s estimates, courtesy of boxofficemojo.com:

1) Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest: $62.2 million ($258.2 million, second week)
All thing’s considered, a 50% dropoff in your second week isn’t bad when your movie still takes in $62 million. So when’s the point where people realize, “Man, that movie wasn’t any good”?
2) Little Man: $21.7 million (first week)
There’s a guy in my fantasy baseball league who named his team the Baby Face Finsters. He is not amused by this abominable misappropriation of his mascot.
3) You, Me and Dupree: $21.3 million (first week)
Eventually, a series of shots of Kate Husdon wearing those skin-tight tangas will hit the Web. Download those instead.
4) Superman Returns: $11.6 million ($163.6 million, third week)
That giant thud you just felt was the hopes of the Warner Brothers brass being able to hide the losses of “Poseidon” with the receipts from “Superman Returns” crashing to the ground. Get your resumes ready, WBers. And don’t even think about looking for a job at Paramount.
5) The Devil Wears Prada: $10.5 million ($83.6 million, third week)
Making as much money as “Superman Returns,” at only a seventh of the price. You read that right: “Prada” cost one-seventh as much as “Superman.” Meryl rulz.

The Amazing Screw-On Head: The Next Great TV Show You May Never See

Involving a premise as totally bizarre as it sounds, “The Amazing Screw-On Head” is based on the comic book by Mike Mignola, creator of “Hellboy.”

“The Amazing Screw-On Head” takes place in the 1800s…a time, we discover, when President Abraham Lincoln’s top spy is a bodyless head known only as Screw-On Head. When arch-fiend Emperor Zombie steals an artifact that will enable him to threaten all life on Earth, the task of stopping him is assigned to Screw-on Head. Fortunately, Screw-On Head is not alone on this perilous quest. He is aided by his multitalented manservant, Mr. Groin, and by his talking canine cohort, Mr. Dog.

Yes, it’s animated.

It also features the voices of Paul Giamatti, Patton Oswalt, David Hyde Pierce, and Molly Shannon, and you can watch the pilot episode right here. The only thing is that, at the moment, there’s nothing but a pilot; Sci-Fi hasn’t picked up the show, and they’re waiting to get responses from folks who’ve watched the pilot. Help the cause, won’t you…? I have no idea why it’s being pitched to Sci-Fi rather than the Cartoon Network, since it’s hilarious enough to be a perfect fit for Adult Swim, but, hey, it’d be nice to see this show anywhere. It’s awesome.

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