Based on Sunday’s estimates:
1) The Break-Up: $38 million (first week)
Hooray for Jennifer Aniston, she has a hit movie on her hands. Now she and Paul Walker have something in common: they can claim to be a box office draw, despite the fact that they had virtually nothing to do with their movie’s performance. Somewhere, in hell, a devil just got his wings. We hope you’re happy, Vince Vaughn.
2) X-Men: The Last Stand: $34.3 million ($175.6 million, second week)
They lost two-thirds of their audience from last week, most of which, we’re guessing, was only there for the “Snakes on a Plane” teaser, anyway. After all, that massive first weekend gross couldn’t have been because of Brett Ratner’s deft ability of sending cars hurtling into the air while Pyro sets them ablaze, over and over again, could it? Didn’t think so.
3) Over the Hedge: $20.6 million ($112.3 million, third week)
Forget arcane clues, secret societies, and the deliberate subordination of Jesus the Human. The public has spoken, and they like the cookie.
4) The Da Vinci Code: $19.3 million ($172.6 million, third week)
Don’t cry for Ron and Tom, Argentina. This movie’s still made a sick amount of money, and greenlit the prequel, “Angels and Demons,” which Akiva Goldsman will surely dumb down just as much as he did Dan Brown’s (already emotionally flat) “Da Vinci” novel. We can hardly wait. And by that, we mean that we can wait. Forever, if need be.
5) Mission: Impossible III: $4.6 million ($122.6 million, fifth week)
This placing, a good $15 million behind the next movie, brings to mind Bill Hicks’ joke about Iraq having the world’s third largest army, and his comeback: “Yeah, but after the two biggest armies, there’s a preeeeeeeety big fucking drop-off.”
