Month: May 2006 (Page 2 of 24)

Snakes in a fire

It looks like New Line Cinema’s upcoming cult flick (“Snakes on a Plane”) has a few fans on the inside. The first fire of the new “Rescue Me” season was jam-packed with reptiles crawling and slithering to their freedom, but none were more entertaining than the assortment of snakes (including a giant boa constrictor-sized) that scared the shit out of Tommy and the rest of Ladder 62. It’s nice to see that the guys haven’t lost their sense of humor, though, because with a new year comes a new deck of problems, not to mention the old hands that are still on the table; the most significant of course being the death of Tommy’s son, Connor. And while Tommy continues to battle his inner demons, his ex-wife Janet threatens him with divorce court. It also doesn’t help that Janet is banging Tommy’s older brother, Johnny (a plot the writers tried to keep secret ‘til the very end, but one that I had a hunch about since the end of last season), and for now, Tommy is none the wiser.

Meanwhile, Tommy runs to Sheila for help with his dad – who’s acting more like an infant with each passing day – and in turn, is given the task to sit down with her son Damien to have the old “birds and the bees” talk. Damien actually knows more than he’s letting on, and after Tommy grills him about his new fuck buddy, discovers that it’s actually his 37-year-old science teacher. Wow. Talk about your ultimate fantasies. Tommy’s intrigued, anyways, and after going to the school to meet her, it wouldn’t surprise me if the two got involved. Of course, with Janet out of the picture, Sheila’s got my vote as long as she doesn’t start acting crazy again.

The rest of the crew isn’t doing so well, either. Jerry’s up to his head in medical bills, Garrity is dating Tommy’s dominatrix sister, and Kenny is still recovering from the con job that Danielle (or Candi, or whatever her name) pulled on him before skipping town. And much like Probie’s creepy stalker storyline from last season, this is the one subplot that has me extremely worried. Kenny is the heart and soul of the firehouse, and I’d rather not watch him struggle with his losses by acting like a total bum.

Oh, and one more thing: the Chief has officially banned smoking in the firehouse. Yeah, like that’s going to happen…

Britney Spears discovers previously uncharted limit to her tolerance

kfed
“I’m livin’ on borrowed money AND borrowed time, yo.”

Oops, he…oh, never mind. The big news here is not that K-Fed screwed things up again, but that Britney may have actually had enough this time. Her publicist is not denying stories of a split, and VH-1 reports that “after trying work it out, Britney reportedly returned from her trip to New York to find K-Fed smoking weed in the house. So now Federline has been banished to live in the basement of their California mansion.”

And hey, while he’s down there…maybe he can locate Britney’s career?

Wow. Would I have paid to be at this event.

Kevin Smith writes about a spoken word event that he held at his house to raise money for the arts program at his daughter’s private school.

I’ve said before that, as a writer, director, movie star, and comic book store owner, Kevin Smith is living the life that I want. But even I can’t imagine a life where Stan Lee, Eva Longoria, and Johnny Rotten are hanging out in my living room alongside Carrie Fisher, Eddie Izzard, and Kathy Bates…

DVD shuffle: 05/30/06

Out on DVD this week:

1) Date Movie – PASS: While the “Scary Movie” films have made me laugh on occassion, this spoof of the romantic comedy genre is about as funny as walking in on your parents having sex.

2) Freedomland – PASS: Didn’t see this. Didn’t want to.

Also out this week are special editions of “Platoon” and “Smokey and the Bandit,” the “Marilyn Monroe: 80th Anniversary Collection,” season one releases of “Night Stalkers,” “Numbers” and “Joey.”

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