Earlier this season, Chris and Little Carmine were pitching a script in Hollywood that they described as “‘Saw’ meets ‘The Godfather.’” Seems “The Sopranos” these days is a “Brokeback Mountain”/“The Godfather” blend. Some of you thought the picnic scene from a couple weeks ago was graphic, but this week the heat on Vito’s relationship with Johnny Cakes was turned up several degrees. They even had their first couples fight. Ah, but Vito’s bored – he’s working too hard during the day (the scene where he looked at his watch, thinking it was 11:30 and time for lunch only to learn it wasn’t even 10:00 am, was money) and everyone he knows turns in before midnight. So he bails on Johnny, empties out his closet and dresser in the middle of the night (apparently very quietly, seeing as Johnny didn’t even wake up), and heads back to Jersey. But on his way back, Vito slams into a parked car and, instead of calling the cops to file a report, he shoots the driver in the back of the head and takes off. Just like riding a bike, apparently.
(By the way, I’ve been calling Vito’s boy toy “Johnny Cakes” for weeks, but I think this is the first time I ever heard Vito actually refer to him as “Johnny Cakes.” Did I really just make up a nickname, or did I steal one without even knowing it?)
Has anybody else noticed just how fast our widdle gangster is growing up? During Tony’s session with Melfi, he says that he and Carm had an agreement when they reconciled (only Tony says it like “rewind,” with a long “e”), that if Tony backed Carm on her spec house, “she would have more of a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy toward my work…and my recreational life outside of the home.” So you know what that means? Tony tossed Julianna Marguiles off his lap a couple weeks ago because he didn’t want to cheat on Carm, not because Carm may find out. That’s an interesting distinction. Of course, that may also mean that we’ve seen the last of Julianna, since she seems to have been more of a temporary diversion for Tony rather than his new goomah. (What a shame, because she looked fabulous in her two episodes. Those boots…ooh, those boots.)
And then there’s the favor Tony did for Janice. Early in the episode, she comes into his office and starts bitching about how hard T is on Bobby and wondering why he hasn’t been made captain yet before breaking down and telling Tony that she sat with him and cried for him while he recovered in the hospital. He says he was grateful, and it’s obvious he was sincere, but then he lobs this classic: “But we both know, no matter how much help I gave, you’d still be here fuckin complaining.” Wow, so damn cold and yet so damn true. And yet, after examining the root of his resentment toward his sister in another session with Melfi (“I love it when I can take a shit on her. And her husband,” he admits), Tony gets Johnny Sack to sell his house to Janice, a house she absolutely loves, for half market value. What a great little brother.
Of course, Tony did Johnny (Sack, not Cakes) a favor, and when that favor became more of a hassle, Tony took the opportunity to improve his end of the deal. Had Tony known what Johnny was up to, though, he probably would’ve turned him down. Imagine what you would have to do to make 15 years in the can sound like a fair deal for a guilty plea. So what’s Johnny Sack’s purpose now? If he’s not going to give anyone up, it seems he’s no longer useful to the overall story. In fact, I think we’re about to find out what David Chase has planned for Phil Leotardo – they’ve been setting him up for a major role all season, and it’ll likely come to a head in the final two episodes.
And as for Chris, well, we only saw him this week as a federal marshal towed his car, which Johnny Sack’s wife sold to him for $25k cash after Johnny was arrested. I know you all think I’m crazy for thinking Chris has flipped, but we’ll have to wait another week or two before I prove you wrong. (Or before I eat a steaming plate of crow, whatever.)
