…a drooling idiot.

That, or “Entertainment: Tonight” is for printing this quote about Tom Cruise’s and Katie Holmes’ new daughter, which only qualifies as useable because Lohan said it (as opposed to a NON-famous yokel):

“At the Conde Nast Traveler party in New York, LINDSAY LOHAN revealed she approved of this star baby name: ‘That’s a pretty name, Suri!'”

Immediately thereafter, Lohan reportedly clapped her hands together excitedly, then asked “ET” to “tell me again about the rabbits.”