Harrison Ford has reportedly proposed to longtime love Calista Flockhart by placing her engagement ring in a brown paper bag with a cup of coffee and a croissant. Awwww, ain’t that cute? That’s almost as cute as the guy my husband knows who put the ring on top of a can of Budweiser in the fridge and told his then-girlfriend to go get him a beer.
The funny thing is, Harrison was taking quite a risk, there, with that proposal method. I mean, come on: a croissant?! Those things are made of, like, solid butter dipped in lard and rolled in pure cane sugar. There’s no way that Calista, all fifty-five pounds of her, has ever eaten an entire croissant in her life…so how did she find the ring? Either the article was a misprint, and the fancy sparkler was actually buried beneath a 10-calorie Quaker puffed rice cake, or Harrison had to coerce Ally McBeal into picking up the croissant to find the ring by telling her the tasty pastry was actually stuffed with figure-flattering amphetamines.
