Britney Spears was recently photographed driving her SUV in Malibu while her son, Sean Preston, sat on her lap behind the wheel–a practice definitely frowned upon by the Baby Safety Police.
Flooded with a torrent of verbal abuse from outraged suburban moms, Britney stammered to explain that the free lap ride was a one-time aberration from her otherwise impeccable mothering. Apparently, Britney had been holding K-Fed Junior in her lap while waiting in a parking lot for her bodyguard to return from his coffee run…when a crowd of “physically aggressive” paparazzi approached. Thus, Britney was forced to floor it, baby bouncing wildly in her lap, the instant her bodyguard returned with the precious caffeinated beverages.
In this week’s People magazine, Britney tells her public, “I love my child, and would do anything to protect him.” Anything, that is, except, I don’t know, hand him to her huge, burly, protective bodyguard, who could then strap Sean into his sturdy, top-of-the-line, protective car seat and leave Mommy free to conduct evasive maneuvers with one hand while sipping her tasty macchiato with the other.

