There’s plenty of bad TV out there, but I’ve recently come to the conclusion that The Hallmark Channel is equally as bad as The Lifetime Network due to its mind-numbing quality of content. Seriously, if I wanted to watch “M*A*S*H*” that much, I’d buy some DVDs. Ditto “Little House,” ditto whatever the hell bad old western shows they have on there. I keep waiting for Wilfred Brimley to be their official spokesperson.
On the other hand, Spike isn’t any better, but then what version of it ever was? “Max X” has gotta be one of the dumbest “real video” shows ever created, and if this is the kind of thing a real guy wants to watch, then put me down for being a pussy. The ’80s are over and “Miami Vice” is never worth revisiting, even if Frank Zappa did appear on it. I miss the old days of TV with the water-cooled Zenith that got at best 13 channels when cable first came around, and that goofy local channel that did nothing but show a black and white camera shot panning back and forth across a wall full of clocks, barometers, and thermometers. Now that’s nostalgia, kids.
