This episode was mainly about the return of Lucius and Titus to Rome, accompanying Mark Antony in his quest to become Tribune. Lucius hasn’t seen his wife in more than seven years and Titus wondered aloud, “what if she got skinny?” Lucius sees his wife, Niobe, for the first time in the courtyard holding a baby and immediately calls her a whore in front of several of her friends – not the best way to say “hello.” The moment ruined, Niobe informs him that the baby is actually his daughter’s daughter and Lucius spends a few days in the doghouse – figuratively, of course.
The politicking continues in the Senate, where Antony is elected Tribune and Pompey loyalists plot against Caesar. Pompey wants Caesar banished, but Antony doesn’t go for that. Pandemonium erupts in the Senate and Antony’s veto of a motion to banish Caesar goes unheard. Apparently, Pompey wants Antony to veto the motion so that Caesar has to openly oppose Pompey, causing the Republic to erupt in a civil war.
Meanwhile, Lucius and Titus get their freak on – the former with his wife and the latter with a prostitute. The whore did a better job of acting like she was enjoying herself, but the pounding in both sessions reminded me of the now classic 50 Cent lyric “I’m into having sex / I ain’t into making love.” His load presumably shot, Titus unwisely decides to play dice with a bunch of Pompey loyalists. Of course, the big brute is cheated out of his money and solves the problem the only way he knows how – by stabbing the cheater in the neck. A brawl ensues and Titus is dinged pretty hard on the head. He stumbles to Lucius’ crib and, after some impromptu brain surgery, Niobe nurses him back to health.
A few days later, Lucius and Titus (along with fifty Caesar loyalists) are called to escort Antony to the Senate so he can exercise his veto. Pompey wants everyone to think that he’d like to stop Antony, so he places a thousand men in the courtyard, but instructs them not stand in Antony’s way. Only Titus recognizes one of the Pompey loyalists – the cheater’s friend at the bar! Seeking revenge, the guy rushes our hero but Titus drops him with one blow. Mayhem in the courtyard ensues, and Antony never gets to exercise his veto.
The Caesar loyalists flee the city and return to their leader. Caesar decides that he will soon march on Rome. Back at the homestead, it turns out that Lucius’ wife very well might be a whore as she brings the baby to her breast to nurse. In her defense, she did think her husband was dead. So maybe “whore” is too strong of a word.
