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“Life is precious. And God. And the Bible.”

Not that we needed any further proof that winning the title of Miss Teen USA is more to do with looks than smarts, but Lord knows South Carolina’s 2007 representative in the pageant confirmed that, if there had been a battle of the brains, she would’ve been entering the fray empty-handed…

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Bullz-Eye’s 2007 Fall TV Preview

I’d just like to begin by stating for the record that, in Bullz-Eye’s 2006 Fall TV Preview, I made the following statement about “Heroes”:

“The premise is fantastic, and the gradual unfolding of the various stories will keep viewers coming back week after week. This is gonna be the water-cooler show of the season.”

That’s right. I’m Nostradamus.

And, like that famous French forecaster of the future, I get at least as many wrong as I get right, like, for instance, these:

1. Ugly Betty: “Expect fans of the original show to be horrified at this poor translation. In fact, it’s hard to imagine that anyone other than girls on the cusp of pubescence or desperately single women in their 20s and 30s will be able to stand this for even 30 minutes. Oh, and did I mention that it’s an hour long?”
2. Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip: “Best cast on television, hands down… and to have their dialogue written by someone who’s arguably one of the best scribes in the medium? I’m sold. And America will be, too.”
3. Twenty Good Years: “‘Arrested Development’ proved that (Jeffrey) Tambor doesn’t draw the ratings, but Lithgow does. It might not be a huge hit, but count on it doing well enough to stick around for a few seasons.”

Oh, well. At least I was right about “Happy Hour.”

This year’s crop is another blend that’s heavy on drama, light on comedy, and thankfully light on reality shows – well, unless you’re Fox, that is – but, as ever, we must provide the following caveat to the feature that follows:

What we’re offering are our impressions and opinions of what are essentially “rough drafts” of the season’s new shows. Mind you, most aren’t very rough at all — indeed, some may actually look identical when they make their official network premieres — but, nonetheless, it’s not unheard of for producers to retool and recast their shows between the filming of the original pilot and the actual premiere of the series. Actually, this year, it’s closer to the rule than the exception, but we’ll get to that in a moment.

Basically, the moral is this: use our descriptions as an approximation of what will end up on the air, not as The Gospel According to Bullz-Eye.

And now that that’s out of the way, let’s warm up the set and head over to the homepage for Bullz-Eye’s Fall TV Preview.

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Jerry O’Connell, used car salesman

In a recent issue of Stuff (yes, I read Stuff, but in my defense, my subscription was free), Jerry O’Connell describes his new sitcom, “Carpoolers.”

“I have to hand it to Bruce McCulloch, the writer – who was one of the cocreators of ‘The Kids in the Hall’ – because it’s really funny. It’s four dudes who take the carpool lane every day, and they think they’re a lot cooler than they are. It’s basically ‘The Office’ meets ‘Arrested Development.’”

“‘The Office’ meets ‘Arrested Development’”? So you’re saying that your new sitcom is a combination of what are arguably the two greatest sitcoms of the decade? There’s a fine line between selling and overselling, Jerry, and you’re about a mile from it.

Still, a guy’s gotta do what a guy’s gotta do, right?

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Hogan’s son released from hospital

In other hospitalized celebs news, Hulk Hogan’s son, Nick Bollea was released from the hospital today after having been in a car wreck that left his 22 year old friend critically injured. Substances were apparently not the cause of the wreck (for now it looks like it was simply speeding), but an invesigation into the cause is still underway.

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Owen Wilson hospitalized

For what, exactly, no one knows just yet. But a 911 call was made for the actor yesterday, and he was soon on his way to the hospital. The 38 year old is set to appear in Wes Anderson’s latest project, “The Darjeeling Limited.”

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