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Sorry, Sam, but “Slither” beat you to the punch

Everybody here at Premium Hollywood has had their say about the upcoming release of Sam Jackson’s “Snakes on a Plane,” including me, but with this weekend’s release of the James Gunn horror-comedy “Slither,” it looks like “SoaP” can no longer be called the next great cult film. It isn’t just the audiences that are loving it either. The film currently has an 88% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 65 reviews). “Slither” is everything that fanboys could only hope “SoaP” is, but with five more months to wait until it’s theatrical release, you might as well check out “Slither” in the meantime.

Also out this week: two horrible sequels (“Ice Age 2” and “Basic Instinct 2“), as well as a yet another urban rap drama (“ATL”). Seriously, how many more of these shitty movies are they going to make?

You can follow us on Twitter @moviebuffs and on Facebook as well.

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“How YOU doin’?”

Joey Tribbiani is back on the market. Matt LeBlanc and his wife of three years, Melissa McKnight, are getting divorced. Between this and his doomed sitcom, poor Joey is just not having a good year.

Of course, if you follow the link, you’ll see that LeBlanc and McKnight were first introduced by one Lou Diamond Phillips. Phillips, you may recall, is best known not for his work in “La Bamba,” but for marrying a woman who eventually left him for female rocker Melissa Etheridge. Thus, perhaps not altogether the best possible judge of women, that Lou.

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If you think you have too much time on your hands…

…then you haven’t yet met Jeff Jensen, of Entertainment Weekly, because he clearly blows you away.

Actually, no, he doesn’t…because he gets paid to do stuff like, say, watch this week’s episode of “Lost”…and if you haven’t, then you might want to stop reading right now…then take a screen capture of the map Locke found and study it way more than you or I probably would.

But, hey, that works out nicely, because you can enjoy his observations and theories right here without having to do all the hard work.

Thanks, Jeff!

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Speed of lightning, roar of thunder…

…fighting those who rob or plunder.

Of whom do I speak…? Why, Underdog, of course.

It’s hard to get but so psyched at the idea of a live-action “Underdog” movie, just because the odds are that it’s only going to sully the reputation of a perfectly good cartoon, but now that “Station Agent” star Peter Dinklage has signed on to play evil bastard Simon Bar Sinister

sbs

…well, it does up its chances of being watchable by a considerable amount.

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The More You Know…

Did anybody else happen to catch the mockcommercials on NBC tonight featuring the cast of “The Office”? I nearly missed them while speeding through the other stupid ads (i heart TiVo), but was lucky enough to see them all; there was even one that aired during “My Name Is Earl.” Originality: this is exactly why the series is doing as well as it is. NBC has definitely got something here. Maybe next week we’ll see the cast of “Scrubs” doing fake PSA’s of their own. We can only hope.

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American Idol: Lisa Follows Chicken Little Home

So Art Vandalay is a prophet once again. Either that or I rigged the whole freaking “American Idol” voting process. Nah, that would take too much time. This time Lisa Tucker pretty much booted herself off after a really bad rendition of Kelly Clarkson’s “Because of You.”

But there were two surprises last night. One, that they brought out Skakira and Wyclef to perform the opening song for Elimination Wednesday. What, were Neil Sedaka or Tom Jones not available? This was actually a cool performance to watch, and Shakira showed some of the Idol hopefuls just how far they have to go to really become a star.

The other surprise was the bottom three–Lisa, Ace, and Catharine McPhee. To top it off, Catharine was in the bottom TWO. I understand Ace, because he completely butchered that Train song and he’s just annoying to begin with. But Catharine? Is America that in love with Bucky Covington and Kellie Pickler? Or are there just that many banjo-playing, barbecue-eating, sweet tea-drinking types voting for them? Either way, they’re all going home soon, but I didn’t think Catharine deserved to be ranked that low.

Oh, and just how many ways are there to spell Catharine? I swear I’m spelling it right but it never looks right. People, don’t name your daughters Catharine anymore, it’ll be better for us all.

So now we are down to 9. I’m still sticking with my gut here and saying Chris, Mandisa or Paris will win it all. But getting there is half the fun, so see you next week, kids.

Vandalay, OUT.

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If you’re gonna get behind a good cause…

…well, I don’t know if this is necessarily one or not: getting the movie “Skidoo” released on DVD.

skidoo

If you’ve never heard of it, well, that’s not necessarily a surprise. It was a 1968 Otto Preminger film which was ol’ Otto’s attempt at mixing the older generations of movie and TV stars with a plot the “kids” could “dig.”

The preview…which can be found here, thanks to a kind soul on YouTube…includes testimonials from both Sammy Davis, Jr., and Dr. Timothy Leary. They’re not even in the film; they just think you’d really like it.

And, at least in theory, why wouldn’t you?

As Mark Evanier says on his blog, NewsFromMe.com, “there’s something to be said for a film in which the most restrained, believable performance is given by Carol Channing,” but, in addition, Groucho Marx plays God (which, if nothing else, proves that whoever God looks like, he’s definitely a cigar smoker), and some of his co-stars include Davis’s “Rat Pack” cohort Peter Lawford, Mickey Rooney, Jackie Gleason, three villains from the old “Batman” series (Riddler Frank Gorshin, Penguin Burgess Meredith, and Joker Cesar Romero), Frankie Avalon, Harry Nilsson (who also contributed to the soundtrack), Slim Pickens, Arnold Stang, and Richard Kiel, a.k.a. Jaws from the Bond movies.

Evanier is on a quest to get the movie released on DVD. Join him, won’t you…?

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Macaulay and Floyd

One more and then I’m off to bed, kids. Macaulay Culkin calls his penis “Floyd.” Given Culkin’s lack of box office success in recent years, he might seriously consider giving Floyd some air time in the celeb porno industry. That way, he’d be back in the press and making some good bank at the same time. The kid’s already fucked up, so what’s a little more, right? I’m sure his daddy would be proud as well. Perhaps those fledgling actresses the Olsen twins could join in and really make a heck of a movie. Not that I’d ever want to see such a thing. Not unless my ipecac wasn’t working, that is.


Read the rest after the jump...

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Tom gives Kat iPod for SILENCE

Tom Cruise has reportedly given his betrothed an iPod with 300 – count ‘em – 300 of her favorite songs to help her keep quiet during her giving birth to the Cruiser’s mutant. Apparently, Tom wants Katie to “listen to calming music.” Yes, well she’s probably into techno and speed metal, and would therefore be insanely loud during the birthing. Does anyone even seriously like Tom Doucher Cruise anymore? How could anyone find anything remotely worth salvaging in his poor little soul? Ah well, at least he’ll have his mutant and will finally be able to dump Katie and get on with his weird little world. I personally can’t think of one movie I’ve seen of Cruiser’s where I didn’t feel like kicking his teeth in after 30 seconds of watching him. Say amen somebody.

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Why, I didn’t even know it had gone anywhere!

“Love Monkey” finds new life on VH1. Hey, I didn’t even realize it got shitcanned. Just shows to go you how much current TV I watch and/or care about. Note that no new episodes are being shot or show, just the original eight that were already completed. Did CBS not even show all of those? Man, that show must have really sucked, but then I’m not surprised at all by that. When I first saw the trailers for it I screamed “You won;t even last a season!” at the TV. God, I love being right. Actually, I think I said “Anything with Jason Priestly is doomed to fail.” Either way, god, I love being right.

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