Well, I said this morning that I thought Jermaine should be the first guy getting booted off “American Idol” but that nothing would surprise me. Still, I was kind of surprised by a couple of the results tonight. Here is how it all went down…..

First, the awful group number….a jazzy, horrible song I think called “American Boy.” Blech. Most of the contestants looked bored, lost, or indifferent. Yes, it was epic bad.

Then, right to the results. Ryan Seacrest had the ladies sit in two rows on the stage. Siobhan was first, safe…..Haeley Vaughn…safe. No!!!!! I was sure she’d be ticketed home, but was wrong. Maybe next week…Michelle D’Alamor (who?), safe….Katelyn Epperly, safe…..down to Katie Stevens and Janell Wheeler. Ryan asked Randy Jackson which one he thought would be going home and Randy chickened out, saying it was too close to call. Um, duh, Randy….not in this case. Katie was safe….see ya Janell! Then Janell sang that Heart song again and dare I say it sounded better than Tuesday.

Alison Iraheta, one of last year’s finalists, came out and sang her new single, “Scars,” and she reminded all of the girls on stage what real pipes sound like. Man, can that girl sing. But what was up with that dress with wings? I’m not the type to pay attention to fashion, but when big black wings knock me in the head, I do.

Next up, front row….Paige Miles, safe…..Lacey Brown, safe. Nooooo!!!!….Lilly Scott, safe….Crystal Bowersox, safe….so it was down to Ashley Rodriguez and Didi Benami……Ryan asked Ellen what advice she would give them, and Ellen said something nice and gracious about this not being the end of their journey. So then, Didi was safe, Ashley, going home. Ryan then asked her, like a jackass, “WELL, what do you think?” She looked mighty annoyed and replied, “WELL, I think I’m gonna sing a song.” Ha! That was awesome. But I have to say, Ashley is so full of herself, and she really has nothing about her that says she can be her own artist, only a Jordin Sparks wanna-be. So see ya!

Then it was on to the guys….Michael Lynche, safe….John Park, safe. Noooooo!!!!! (are you sensing a pattern here? The second one in the row is always a shocker)…..Aaron Kelly, safe…..Todrick Hall, safe (take that, judges)….down to Tim Urban and Joe Munoz. Ryan asked Kara what she thought, and she said neither of these guys deserved to be going home. Okay….here we go…Tim, safe..Joe, going home. Tim looks shocked, but not as shocked as the rest of America….still, Joe really wasn’t a star.

Ryan then made the announcement about the April 21 “Idol Gives Back” episode, and then had last year’s winner, Kris Allen, talk about his recent trip to Haiti. Then Kris performed a super cool version of The Beatles’ “Let It Be,” of which you can download on iTunes with all proceeds going to relief efforts in Haiti. But after hearing Kris sing, and after hearing Kris follow Alison, I have to say…..these two put on a freaking clinic in how to sing and perform to the dudes and girls this season….and really, none of them are as talented as these two. Tonight was proof of it.

Back to the results…Casey James, safe….Jermaine Sellers, safe. Noooooo!!!!!! (I told you)…….Lee Dewyze, safe….Andrew Garcia, safe….so down to Tyler Grady and Alex Lambert. Ryan asks Simon what he thinks, and Simon says, that based purely on vocals, he thought Tyler would be the one to go home. Drum roll…..Alex is safe, Tyler going home. Alex is shocked, even more shocked than Tim, and I don’t blame him. I thought for sure Simon was wrong. Anyway, this just goes to show, this is a SINGING COMPETITION. Of course, Tyler took a shot at the judges on his way out, saying they gave him the criticism he needed last night, instead of during Hollywood week. Ha, nice one Grady.

So there you go…..Janell, Ashley, Joe and Tyler, going home. We still have much work to do to whittle the rest down…and a couple more three-days-of-Idol weeks to get there.

What do you think? Tell me in the space below and see you all next week!

Okay, folks. After seeing the crop of 24 semi-finalists in Season 9 of “American Idol,” I’m convinced that the judges are high. They call this the best group of singers ever? Um, far from it…I think it may be the worst crop in years, possibly the worst since the first couple of seasons. Every single contestant this year has at least one flaw, and most of them have multiple flaws and glaring weaknesses. Anyway, the guys sang last night, and honestly, most of them were pretty awful. But the judges selected a few to prop up even if they were just okay…maybe it’s the way the field is, but this is not good. Here is the recap of last night’s dude-fest:

THE PRETTY GOOD

Todrick Hall, 24, kicked off the night with a super cool and quirky version of Kelly Clarkson’s “Since U Been Gone.” Sure, he messed with the arrangement enough to make you wonder what he was singing, but that was part of the charm. I thought it was really good, especially going first. Most of all, it was a RISK, something most of the girls knew nothing about on Tuesday. Of course, the judges thought it was too much of a risk. Geez, they are hard to please, aren’t they? Ellen said Todrick is a great performr and she loved the risk, but the chorus was rough….Randy said it was too much of a risk and Todrick needs to focus on his singing…Kara agreed with Randy….and Simon said Todrick looked like a dancer trying to sing instead of the other way around, and he didn’t like the crazy arrangement. Whatever, he’s safe for at least one more week….I think.

Casey James sat down with his guitar and did a decent job with Bryan Adams’ “Heaven.” Of course, Kara was drooling so much that they needed a mop afterwards. I mean, her googly eyes were super googly. After professing her love again, Kara admitted that it was pitchy in spots but that Casey does have a good voice…..Randy said it was a great choice and he loves Casey’s voice….Simon said it was the right song, that Casey is honest and likeable, and that it was the best of the night (he went 11th)…..and Ellen said she could feel Kara undressing Casey with her eyes, but that he sounded great. Yep, pretty much.

Andrew Garcia, 24, is really talented and I am rooting for him. But he messed up last night by taking on what I think is one of the worst songs in the history of rock music, Fall Out Boy’s “Sugar We’re Going Down.” Seriously, do the lyrics to that song make any sense? Does it even have lyrics or just mumbling? Still, Andrew’s performance was a B-minus when most of everything else was C or worse. Simon said he was looking forward to Andrew’s performance but was disappointed….Kara said it was risky but too risky and wound up being a strange rendition….Randy agreed, saying the arrangement came out weird and that Andrew tried too hard….and Ellen said she is a fan but he was too serious last night. This dude is too good to be this cocky about his song choice.

THE IN BETWEEN

20 year old Joe Munoz, who looks like a cross between David Archuleta and Ben Stiller, but Hispanic, took on Jason Mraz’ “You and I Both,” and while I won’t hide the fact that I despise all things Mraz, it wasn’t all that bad. Forget that the producers hid this kid from us so far. Ellen said Joe looked comfortable on stage and sounded good…Randy said it wasn’t a great song choice but he liked Joe’s voice….Kara liked the song choice but said there were a few issues, and that he was the best so far (Joe went fifth)….and Simon said he doesn’t believe Joe is a star, and that this performance was safe and forgettable. Ouch. That last word hurts more than most words the judges can use.

20 year old Tyler Grady is a so-called “student” of classic rock, grabbing all of his moves from watching footage of Led Zeppelin and The Who, but he may not have the pipes to match his act. Tyler did The Guess Who’s “American Woman,” and it was at times pitchy, but not all that bad overall. Simon said it was memorable but not in a good way, and that his pretending to be a rock star thing is getting old…..Kara agreed with Simon…..Randy said it was too much style over subtance….and Ellen said it looked like Tyler was going through the motions, and that he needs to work on his singing more. A bit harsh, but I think Tyler is safe.

23 year old Lee Dewyze was selling paint in Chicago before landing in Hollywood, and chances are good he’ll never lift a paint can again. But I’m not sold on this guy, because there is way too much Scott Stapp in him. He does have a good voice technically, and he is likeable, but on Snow Patrol’s “Chasing Cars,” Lee was chasing the high notes too much. Ellen said it was a good choice and she likes Lee’s tone, but that he screams too much….Randy said he didn’t like the song choice and that it didn’t work for him….Kara said the song has too small a range for it to work for Lee….and Simon, oddly enough, thought it was the best of the night (Lee went 7th), and that he’s a good, natural singer. What?

Michael Lynche, 26, is a big dude. A big dude who is a personal trainer and can kick anyone’s ass in that building, save for some of Simon’s security guards. He can also eat anyone in the building. So Michael did another white boy cover, Maroon 5’s “This Love,” while strumming a guitar, and it looked weird but he sounded good enough. You really can’t not like Michael, but I don’t see him going the distance. Ellen said Michael has so much personality but had a few pitch problems….Randy liked Michael’s energy and persona….Kara said Michael brought the energy but was not “outrageously great”…..and Simon said he felt like he was watching the support act for the main performer, that he delivered very little with this performance and that he knows Michael can do better. Agreed!

19 year old Alex Lambert has Adam Lambert’s last name and little else. Alex sang James Morrison’s “Wonderful World” and it was vocally almost identical to the original version. And let’s be clear…James Morrison can sing his ass off, which means Alex Lambert can too. His tone is awesome. But here’s the problem…he looks like a mouse on stage singing for 30 million cats. Dude needs to corral his nerves, and fast…and if he does, he will be around for a few more weeks. But I don’t see that happening. Simon said it was extremely uncomfortable watching Alex, but that he likes his voice….Kara said it sounded just like James Morrison, and that it was both a problem and a huge compliment….Randy said he loves Alex’s tone but he needs more conviction on stage (ya think?)….and Ellen said she likes Alex and his mullet, and that he has a great voice, but she then likened him to an unripe banana. Okay, whatever. I know you’re all going to hate me for this, but I think Alex is safe this week.

THE BAD

Aaron Kelly, 16, sang Rascal Flatts’ “Here Comes Goodbye” and if there is anyone on here who is not cut out to be a star, it’s this kid. For me, it was one of the worst of the night…pitchy and karaoke-ish, but the judges tripped over themselves to praise him. Money must have exchanged hands here, it had to have. Simon said it was a good performance but that Aaron has to stop looking embarrassed…Kara said Aaron is her favorite kind of contestant (yeah, right Kara!!)….Randy said Aaron has pipes but that there were a few pitch issues…and Ellen said ditto to all of the above. Well here’s the thing….Aaron wasn’t that good, but there were a few worse than him last night, and only two need to be worse for him to hang around.

Tim Urban, 20, was a late replacement for this round after being cut in Hollywood, and for some strange reason he decided to not tell his family that he was asked back, and waited for them to find out watching on TV. Cruel, cruel, cruel. Anyway, I have made no bones about the fact that Tim was not better than guys like Thaddeus Johnson, but okay. Tim took on One Republic’s “Apologize,” and it had a few good moments, but he looked stiff on stage and was all over the place pitch-wise. Simon said they made the right decision the first time they sent Tim home, and that his vocals just were weak….Kara said the song swallowed Tim up the way she wants to swallow Casey James up (okay, I added that last part)….Randy said it was the wrong song for Tim, that he doesn’t have the natural falsetto to pull it off….and Ellen said it was a good choice but that Tim couldn’t hit the high notes. She added that girls will like him, and that could be true, but dude cannot sing.

21 year old John Park professed his love for Shania Twain, because Shania had fawned all over John in the initial auditions. Funny. But then John goes and sings “God Bless This Child,” followed by some weird reasoning that it’s for his parents that have debt problems or something. I think he meant that they need the money, so “God Bless This Child for being on ‘American Idol’ and let’s hope we can milk this thing!” Anyway, it was horrible. Simon said you need an incredible voice to pull off that song and John doesn’t have that….Kara agreed with Simon, calling it “loungy” and “indulgent”….Randy said it was weird, and too “old” of a song but that he likes John’s voice….and Ellen said she liked it but he won’t get the young girls’ vote. He may not get any votes, not even from his financially strapped family.

THE REALLY, REALLY BAD

Jermaine Sellers, who sings in church back home, should not be singing for anyone. At least he shouldn’t sing Oleta Adams’ “Get Here.” First of all, dude could not find the right key, but then as he hit high notes sounding like a cat in heat, I found myself wanting to switch over to the Olympics until Jermaine was done. Wow, was that ever bad. Ellen said she loves the song but that Jermaine pushed too hard and went off key…..Randy said it was a weird song choice and Jermaine tried to do too much….Kara said she thinks Jermaine can sing but that he didn’t show it last night….and Simon said it was too “old” of a song and that the screaming/screeching in the middle was really bad, bad enough that he thinks Jermaine “blew his opportunity.” Um, yes he did….and if he doesn’t go home tonight, well….really, nothing surprises me with this show, so I won’t be that surprised, I guess.

So there you have it…I’m saying Jermaine and John go home, with anyone not named Andrew or Casey a very real possibility as well.

My four going home…Jermaine, John, Haeley and Lacey.
What do you all think? Are you as disappointed as I am with these performances so far?

Fox’s “American Idol” returned last night for the start of its ninth season, and while they can rotate judges and air this show right after Simon Cowell announced he is leaving the show, they can’t change the fact that the talent or lack thereof ultimately drives this thing. Last night was no exception, as we had to endure the first of seven or eight episodes of those initial auditions, showing us the very polarizing best and worst of the lot.

The first auditions were in Boston, and along with Cowell, the other judges were the returning Randy Jackson and Kara DioGuardi, with Victoria Beckham, a.k.a. Posh Spice, as a guest judge. As we do each season at this time, we’ll try to briefly summarize by separating the best and the worst.

THE BEST

16 year old Maddy Curtis, who is one of nine kids, sang Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” and it was quite brilliant for someone that young. She seemed like a very sweet person too and Simon even said one of the reasons he liked her was that, unlike others her age, she was “not annoying.”……they rifled through a trio of talented women, with Jennifer Hirsch doing a weird scatty version of “Ding Dong the Wicked Witch is Dead”, followed by Claire Fuller and Jess Wolfe, who I don’t remember much about but they were okay…..the first dude they let through was Amadeo DaRocco, who they set up by showing him having Italian Sunday dinner with his family. Amadeo is 28 and this was his first attempt at something like this. You had to believe he as going to suck, but thankfully he did an awesome version of Muddy Waters’ “Hoochy Coochy Man.” He wasn’t the type Simon usually likes, but Simon declared him best of the day, and Kara tried to bond with him by acting Italian. Please Kara, give it a rest…..then they showed three guys with guitars in the holding room singing together and sounding amazing, and two of them that they showed had excellent auditions–Luke Shaffer and Benjamin Bright…..24 year old Ashley Rodriguez sang Alicia Keys’ “If I Ain’t Got You” and while I thought it was just okay, the judges were tripping over themselves to say how amazing she was…..Tyler Grady, 19, is a drummer in a rock band who desperately wants to be a front man. Dude fell out of a tree recently, breaking both of his wrists and putting his drumming career on hold. But lucky for him, he can sing, and his version of Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On” was maybe my favorite audition so far. Of course, Simon asked what we all wanted to ask…why was he up in a tree? His answer was something akin to “I’ve always loved climbing trees.” Um, okay dude….unless you are part monkey, that should have stopped when you turned 12 or so…..Mike Davis, 18, sang The Beatles “Yesterday” and was okay, good enough to get through but barely…..16 year old Katie Stevens, who helps take care of her grandma with Alzheimer’s, was awesome, and Josh Blaylock, 28, was good enough to earn three votes, while Cowell declared him “forgettable.”…..27 year old Justin Williams, who survived cancer about 7 or 8 years ago, was excellent, showing really effective vocal dynamics…..Bosa Mora, 18, whose parents came to the States from Nigeria for school, and wound up staying and having like 10 kids, was really talented and, mark my words, will go very far despite Simon calling him “boring”…..and finally, Leah Laurenti, 22, sang a cool version of “Blue Sky” and made it through.

THE WORST

The first contestant of the night was Janet McNamara, who practiced for this audition by playing the “American Idol” video game. Uh-oh. Janet was like a real life cartoon character herself, and psyches herself up by looking in the mirror and saying “you’re awesome.” Good lord. She was horrible, but even more horrible because she thought she was so great…..Pat Ford, 17, who sang “Womanizer,” was also horrible, but I don’t remember much about him…..Derek, a kid with really bad acne, was very spiritual and very bad, doing a weird vocal thing with “Sorry Seems To Be the Hardest Word”…..after a medley of duds, they showed Mary Doyle, 24, another real life cartoon character who took on Janis Joplin, something that almost automatically sets you up for failure. Mary could not believe that all four judges did not like her, saying that familiar refrain, “But everyone thinks I’m good”……Andrew Fenlon, a wiseass who was bitter because he had to wait several hours for this audition, was boring and not a very good singer, but he was good for ratings. That’s because while one of the judges accurately declared that Andrew had “bad energy,” Kara in particular came right out and said she didn’t like him, but she was downright angry about it. Well, something was not right with Andrew, but I think something was not right with Kara as well…..Lisa Olivero, 24, sang Mariah Carey’s “Vision of Love” and was very shouty and annoying, and surprised that she was not going to Hollywood. She was easy on the eyes, however, and as they showed her slowly walking out, Randy’s eyes were bulging out of his head and he and Simon did everything but shout, “Nice ass!”……the last of the worst was 18 year old Norberto Guerrero, who Simon said looked like he was wearing LaToya Jackson’s clothes. Ouch!

So episode 1 is in the books! Tonight it continues, but thankfully only for one hour. What did you think of last night’s performances? Let me now in the space below and we will be back tomorrow! Thanks for reading…..