You surely would expect that Chicago would produce more contenders on “American Idol” than Orlando, right? Wrong. Orlando produced 31 Hollywood-bound singers than Chicago, which delivered 13 in two days. Whatever, once the Hollywood rounds begin we won’t remember where these folks auditioned unless Ryan Seacrest decides to remind us. So the guest judge was Kristin Chenoweth, at least for Day 1, and she had more spunk in her pinky than Shania Twain. Anyway, the producers showed us most of the good performances last night and not as many crappy ones, to which we say, BO-RING. Here they are…

THE BEST

Seth Rollins, 28, has a 5-year-old autistic son, and wants a better life for the kid and his family. At 28 this is his last chance to audition, so he figured he’d give it a shot. Seth sang “Someone to Watch Over Me” and it was way better than everyone expected…..24 year old Jermaine, who auditioned with his college buddies back in Season 7, claimed that he was more grown up now and wanted to take a real stab at this thing. We’re glad he did, because his take on Tony Bennett was nothing short of phenomenal. Keep an eye on this dude…he had the best tone of anyone who has auditioned so far……the closer on Day 1 was 18 year old Shelby, who had a birth defect that allowed her no feeling on one side of her mouth. Luckily though, Shelby was born with a nice singing voice and she did a nice job with “Turn Me On” by Norah Jones. Of course, the best part was when Shelby forgot the words and yelled out, “Holy Shit!” I think the judges may have let her through just for that……Jay Stone kicked off Day 2 and he did a beat-box infused version of The Beatles’ “Come Together.” It was like Blake Lewis x10, and extremely entertaining. But more than that, they asked if he could sing without the beat box, and he did a bit of “Ain’t No Sunshine,” and was awesome. Simon didn’t think so, but Kara and Randy were impressed….24 year old Cornelius Edwards talked about being an “adult entertainer” an he definitely entertained us all when he did a split that ripped his pants while singing Tina Turner’s “Proud Mary.” Anyway, of course this guy is bound for Hollywood!…..two sisters from New Jersey, Bernadette and Amanda, who looked like they walked off the set of “Jersey Shore,” were just okay but the judges somehow found them to be charming….and finally, 25 year old bank robber Matthew Lawrence closed out the show. Yes, dude robbed a bank and spent four years in jail, but was completely remorseful and wanting to get his life back on track. Dude sang Ray LaMontagne’s “Trouble” and was pretty awesome. Simon even used the word “brilliant.” And for Simon to use that word to describe anyone but himself is really saying something.

THE WORST

The episode began with 23 year old Theo singing Pat Benatar’s “Hearbreaker.” There was a lot of growling and let’s just say his singing voice was more masculine than his looks….Amazingly, aside from some rapid-fire bad auditions, the only other one they showed was near the end of the show, and it was a doozy. 28 year old Jarrod Norrell sang “Amazing Grace” after saying, “Gotta give it up for God.” Well, it was really bad….nasally and horribly annoying. Kara put it best when she said Jarrod’s voice sounded like a lawnmower. Of course, Jarrod thought he was born to do this, and he fought to stay there and sing more for them. Not only did security need to intervene, they had to take Jarrod out in cuffs! I don’t know how much of that was planned or placed, but it sure looked real.

So that’s it….I believe we are at least halfway through the opening audition round, and next Tuesday the auditions are in Los Angeles with Katy Perry as guest judge.

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You would think in pure numbers that a city like Chicago would produce the most Hollywood-bound contestants on “American Idol.” But no. Two days yielded thirteen of them, and some of those were even questionable, at least in my eyes (and ears). Guest judge Shania Twain offered some comic relief at times, and some of the singers were no doubt talented, but I know we all expected more from the windy city. Here are the highlights and lowlights….

THE BEST

Kicking off the episode last night was 19 year old Katelin, from Iowa, who sang Duffy’s “Syrup and Honey.” Right off the bat, Twain remarked, “Yummy!” when hearing the title of the song. Anyway, it was a good, soulful vocal and nice way to kick the show off…..16 year old Charity Vance from Arkansas (okay, so none of the contestants were actually FROM Chicago?) sang “Summertime” and they showed her parents back in Arkansas at the hair salong they run from their house. Apparently, “American Idol” is a hot topic among customers and now it will be an even hotter topic as their daughter is going to Hollywood…..28 year old Angela Martin has been here before, and has even cracked the Top 50 (last year). But one year it was the untimely and tragic death of her dad, and last year she had a court date for a traffic violation right smack during Hollywood week. Well, not only did Angela advance again, but as Kara DioGuardi pointed out, she has gotten better. I have high hopes for Angela this time and I know the judges do as well…..after a seriously long drought with no golden tickets, finally 20 year old John Park took his turn, and he was pretty good. Shania had the hots for the guy, first saying she liked his “bottom end” and then saying he had “nice lips.” Nice, Shania, real nice…..21 year old Paige Dechausse, who nearly lost her life after a horrible asthma attack when she was 15, sang Sam Cook’s “Change is Gonna Come” and while Simon called it self-indulgent, the other three judges let her through…..the final Hollywood-bound contestant they showed was a kid who strapped on a guitar and sang a Bryan Adams song while sounding exactly like Bryan Adams. Well, we know how Shania voted on that one, considering her Canadian roots.

THE WORST

26 year old Amy Lang first differentiated herself by telling Ryan Seacrest about her inappropriate dream starring him. She then showed off her “just aight” vocal while impressing the judges with what she called a “boob push.” Um, okay…..26 year old Curly Newbern sang a Maxwell song in ALL falsetto, and the fact that Randy and Simon couldn’t hold back laughter says it all….19 year old Alannah Halbert was also a falsetto singer and pretty much not very good….then there was 27 year old Brian Krause, a ratings placement if ever there was one. Dude was a military guy who said he was known for entertaining his fellow comrades. Well his song choice was Tiny Tim’s “Tiptoe Through the Tulips,” and the judges first had to ask Brian if this was a joke or not, and when he said it wasn’t they just pretty much said, “Sorry, you suck, get out.” It was funny though that he referred to Randy as “Mr. Jackson” and Simon as “Mr. Cowell”…..Finally there was 25 year old Harold Davis, who had a weird and awful voice singing “Nice and Slow.” He claimed that allergies were affecting his voice, but the judges knew better. Poor guy though was crying on his way out the door, and nobody ever wants to see that!

So two days in Chicago produced 13 Hollywood rounders. I don’t know how many showed up to audition, but I’m pretty sure the percentage was one of the lowest of any audition round. Tonight they continue in Orlando and if my math is correct, we will have reached the halfway point of the early audition episodes….it’s at least wishful thinking, isn’t it?

What did you think of last night’s hopefuls? Let me know and we’ll see you back here tomorrow….