Okay, enough of my bitching. Let’s talk about the Emmys.

As far as I’m concerned, Jimmy Fallon did a fine job as host. The “Glee”-inspired opening segment was awesome: Jon Hamm ruled that bit with his sweet-ass dance moves, but Joel McHale leaping in front the camera was pretty awesome, too, and once they switched over to the live performance, I laughed out loud at just how happy Randy Jackson seemed to be to get to play in front of the audience. Sometimes you forget that the guy’s got some serious studio-musician street cred.

The minstrel-in-the-aisles bit was hit or miss, but Stephen Colbert was hilarious, and I was pleasantly surprised at Kim Kardashian’s performance. Jimmy’s quick quip at Conan’s expense was pretty funny, too. I wasn’t as big a fan of the farewells to “24,” “Law & Order,” and “Lost,” mostly because all I could think was, “This kind of takes away from the seriousness of the farewells to the folks in the industry who really have died.” The segment with the “Modern Family” cast meeting with the network was hysterical, though.

And now on to the awards!

* Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Comedy Series:

My pick: Ty Burrell, “Modern Family”
Winner: Eric Stonestreet, “Modern Family”

Obviously, I was wrong about Stonestreet and Jesse Tyler Ferguson splitting the vote, but I’m happy with anyone from “Modern Family” winning.

* Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series: Steven Levitan and Christopher Lloyd, “Modern Family”

* Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Comedy Series:

My pick: Jane Lynch, “Glee”
Winner: Jane Lynch, “Glee”

No one else ever had a chance. She might not have been the voice of “Glee,” but she was definitely the face of it.

* Guest Actress in a Comedy Series: Betty White, “Saturday Night Live”

* Guest Actor in a Comedy Series: Neil Patrick Harris, “Glee”

* Outstanding Directing for a Comedy Series: Ryan Murphy, “Glee”

* Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series:

My pick: Jim Parsons, “The Big Bang Theory”
Winner: Jim Parsons, “The Big Bang Theory”

I couldn’t be happier. Sheldon is such a fantastic comedic invention, but, more importantly, Jim’s a really nice guy.

* Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series:

My pick: Lea Michele, “Glee”
Winner: Edie Falco, “Nurse Jackie”

Didn’t see this one coming, although I know other critics predicted it. Again, no complaints here: I love “Nurse Jackie.” (In a perfect world, Merritt Wever would’ve pulled a Supporting Actress nod for playing Zoe on the show.)

* Outstanding Reality – Competition Program: “Top Chef”

* Outstanding Writing for a Drama Series: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy, “Mad Men”

* Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Drama Series

My pick: Terry O’Quinn, “Lost”
Winner: Aaron Paul, “Breaking Bad”

In my defense, I said in the write-up, “This is certifiably the single hardest category for me, because there’s literally no one in the running who I wouldn’t like to see take home the award,” then made a point of saying, “Aaron Paul’s work this year as Jesse worked his way through rehab while dealing with emotional trauma was outstanding.”

* Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Drama Series:

My pick: Christina Hendricks, “Mad Men”
Winner: Archie Panjabi, “The Good Wife”

Another one I didn’t expect, but one I’m glad to see. Great show.

* Outstanding Lead Actor In A Drama Series:

My pick: Bryan Cranston, “Breaking Bad”
Winner: Bryan Cranston, “Breaking Bad”

Bryan Cranston is awesome. That is all.

* Guest Actress in a Drama Series: Ann-Margret, “Law & Order: SVU”

* Guest Actor in a Drama Series: John Lithgow, “Dexter”

* Outstanding Directing for a Drama Series: Steve Shill (“Dexter”)

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Drama Series:

My pick: Julianna Margulies, “The Good Wife”
Winner: Kyra Sedgwick, “The Closer”

The best part, of course, is that January Jones didn’t take home the win, but, honestly, I love “The Closer,” and it’s about time it received some Emmy love.

* Outstanding Writing for a Variety, Music or Comedy Series: Dave Boone and Paul Greenberg, “The 2009 Tony Awards”

* Outstanding Directing for a Variety, Music or Comedy Series: Bucky Gunts, “Vancouver 2010 Olympic Opening Ceremonies”

* Outstanding Variety, Music, or Comedy Series:

My pick: “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart”
Winner: “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart”

I still wish I could’ve heard Conan’s acceptance speech, though.

* Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Miniseries or Movie:

My pick: Brenda Vaccaro, “You Don’t Know Jack”
Winner: Julia Ormond, “Temple Grandin”

No complaints, only surprise that Julia and Catherine O’Hara didn’t split the vote.

* Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Miniseries or Movie:

My pick: David Strathairn, “Temple Grandin.”
Winner: David Strathairn, “Temple Grandin”

A strong performance by a consistently strong actor, but I’m pleasantly surprised that he won, since – unlike some of his peers in the category – it wasn’t necessary a showy role.

* Outstanding Writing for a Miniseries or Movie: Adam Maser, “You Don’t Know Jack”

* Outstanding Lead Actress in a Miniseries or Movie:

My pick: Claire Danes, “Temple Grandin”
Winner: Claire Danes, “Temple Grandin”

I couldn’t be happier for Claire or for the film. She did a lot of hard work to capture the spirit of Temple Grandin, and it really paid off.

* Outstanding Directing for a Miniseries or Movie: Mick Jackson, “Temple Grandin”

* Outstanding Lead Actor in a Miniseries or Movie:

My pick: Al Pacino, “You Don’t Know Jack”
Winner: Al Pacino, “You Don’t Know Jack”

I’ll just say what I’ve said to everyone about this movie: I actually forgot that I was watching Al Pacino, and I can’t remember the last time I did that during a Pacino performance. Well earned, sir.

* Outstanding Miniseries:

My pick: “The Pacific”
Winner: “The Pacific”

Tom Hanks’ speech was funnier at the TCA Awards. I’m just sayin’.

Outstanding Made for Television Movie:

My pick: “Temple Grandin”
Winner: “Temple Grandin”

To have it win on Temple Grandin’s birthday…? Serendipity.

Outstanding Drama Series:

My pick: “Breaking Bad”
Winner: “Mad Men”

Well, given that I’m heading from this piece straight over to write my “Mad Men” blog, you can imagine that I have no real complaints about this selection, but the same time, I’m aware that I’m currently watching the Emmys while TiVo’ing “Mad Men,” whereas if “Breaking Bad” was on, I’m pretty sure I’d be TiVo’ing the Emmys.

Outstanding Comedy Series:

My Pick: “Modern Family”
Winner: “Modern Family”

Okay, maybe…just maybe…it’s funnier than “Community.”

But I still think “Community” is a damned funny show.

See you next year, everybody!

There, I said it…and it feels good.

• Showtime Introductory Remarks

Matthew C. Blank, Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of Showtime, took the stage to welcome the assembled throng, then launched immediately into a series of announcements and remarks, including the following:

“Weeds” guest stars: Richard Dreyfuss, Alanis Morrissette, Jennifer Jason-Leigh, Mark Paul Gosselaar, Peter Stormare, and Linda Hamilton.

“Dexter” guest stars: Julia Stiles, Peter Weller, Maria Doyle Kennedy, Shawn Hatosy, and Jonny Lee Miller.

“Californication” guest stars: Carla Gugino, Rob Lowe, Tommy Lee, Zoe Kravitz, Michael Ealy, and Callie Thorne.

Liam Neeson will be joining his former “Kinsey” co-star Laura Linney for an episode of her new Showtime series, “The Big C.” Also guesting on the show: Cynthia Nixon and Idris Elba.

The network has committed to ten episodes of “Web Therapy,” a comedy developed by and starring Lisa Kudrow.

“Nurse Jackie” and “United States of Tara” will be both be returning for third seasons, as will “Secret Diary of a Call Girl” for Season 4.

Producer John Wells is premiering his new Showtime series, “Shameless,” starring William H. Macy and Emmy Rossum, on January 9th. Also coming in 2011 is “The Borgias,” starring Jeremy Irons and created and executive-produced by Neil Jordan, who’s directing the series’ first two episodes as well. The trailer for “Shameless” looks like the start of another great dysfunctional-family drama for Showtime, and…well, actually, I guess you could say the same of “The Borgias,” although they haven’t really filmed enough of it yet for us to get much of a feel for it. Most of what we were shown was interview clips with Irons and Jordan and footage from the photo sessions for the series, so all I can really confirm is that it looks awesome…but, then, what else would you expect from the network that brought you the gorgeousness of “The Tudors”?

• The Big C

If Showtime can take a person suffering from a multiple-personality disorder and make a sitcom out of their situation, then it should come as no surprise that they’d be willing to take on the challenge of making cancer funny, but when you see “The Big C,” you’ll discover that laughter is only one of the things you’ll experience while watching the show. As you might expect, much of the humor within the series is of the “you’ve got to laugh to keep from crying” variety, but let’s face it: life is funny, and if you don’t try to find the funny in everything, you’ll have a really depressing ride ahead of you.

“I had had a conversation with a network executive about what they were looking for and what they wanted to buy, and the response had been, ‘We want something that’s relatable,'” said executive producer Darlene Hunt. “At the time, I had a couple of friends who were battling cancer, and it occurred to me that I didn’t know anybody who wasn’t battling cancer who wasn’t doing it with a sense of humor. And so I, in trying to find something I could sell that people would want to watch and would respond to, that was kind of what we talked about.”

The show stars Laura Linney as Cathy Jamison, a woman who has just received the diagnosis that changes her life and, at the same time, makes her realize how much shorter that life has suddenly become.

“When this script came to me,” said Linney, “what hit me the most was the theme of time and what do you do with time, what are the choices that we make, how we spend our time, the fact that we all have a limited amount and that it’s a privilege to grow old. That’s something that I think a lot of people have forgotten in this very fast-paced world where youth is overly celebrated, so it was meaningful to me. It was more what the whole story was about than just the wonderful character that’s there. Clearly, I thought was something that I could spend some time with and would be challenged by, but more than anything else, it’s more, for me, about time.”

In addition to starring the show, Linney will also be serving as one of its executive producers, but she laughed when asked what this title means. “What it has allowed me to do is that I don’t have to keep my mouth shut if there’s something that I see (or) if there’s an idea that I have,” she said. “We also sort of have our areas that we have more involvement in. Mine deals much more with the atmosphere on the set and how things function day to day.”

“The thing you need to know about Laura is she really is executive-producing.” said Linney’s fellow executive producer, Jenny Bicks. “I mean, this is an actress who is showing up for concept meetings and production meetings long before her call. She’s being humble, but she wears many hats, and she wears them very well. She’s a good hat-wearer.”

When a show’s central character has been diagnosed with terminal cancer, you can be forgiven for wondering just how long the series can possibly go on, but you probably also won’t be surprised to learn that this is something the producers have already considered.

“Every season is a season,” explained creator Vivian Cannon. “In the pilot episode, it’s the first day of summer. So the first season of the show would be summer, the following would be autumn, and so on.”

As far as how long Cathy can be expected to live, “I think the thing that we wanted to do going in was just be truthful about the disease,” said Bicks. “The thing about melanoma – she’s at Stage 4 melanoma – there’s a truth to how long, generally, you will live, but at the same time, there’s a huge amount of research coming out, a huge amount of clinical trials, which has kept us busy, making sure our research is up to date. We don’t think in terms of when or if are we going to kill her because it’s much more about the exploration of what she’s going to be doing while she’s alive. It honestly really is that. But if it comes time that she goes, she goes. We are not going to be afraid of that. And the nice thing about doing it on Showtime is that we don’t have to sugarcoat the situation that she’s in.”

I was originally going to wrap up my discussion of “The C Word” with a comment from Hunt about how the show shouldn’t necessarily be the go-to place for those who have just been diagnosed with cancer and are looking for how to proceed, but I think it’s much more appropriate to close with a trifecta of observations which emerged from the panel as a result of someone asking Linney what advice her character would give to someone who had just been diagnosed with cancer. I think you’ll agree that the comments reveal that this is a show written, produced, and starring folks who are treating their subject appropriately: with respect, intelligence, and, yes, a sense of humor.

“I don’t think (Cathy) would give any advice,” said Linney. “I don’t think she’d give any advice at all. She’s pretty self-consumed at the moment, and I don’t think she would dare take anyone’s advice. But she’s learning from experience. She’s learning from the mistakes that she makes. She’s learning from the actions that she does that are positive. And more than trying to have a bucket list, I think she’s trying to figure out who she wants to be more than what she wants to do. Although what she wants to do is certainly part of it, there’s a lot of fun stuff that she does do because there’s a sense of liberation in a way…which is so odd. When you’re dying, you’re sort of liberated to do what you want to do. You give yourself permission. So I don’t think she would dare to (give advice). I think everyone’s experience with a terminal disease is so deeply personal and so deeply unique to the person and the context in which they’re living and the relationships that they have.”

“We wanted to kind of turn some expectations on its ear a little bit,” said Hunt. “You know, there’s a lot of support groups, and there might be a handbook for if you get diagnosed, some places to go, some advice, some books to read, but I think some things that we wanted to explore is what would be, like, a knee-jerk reaction to just wanting to feel good and live life differently and on your own terms and…things that weren’t maybe typical.”

“I think the key is, she’s not the pinup child for how one goes about dealing with cancer,” said Bicks. “She’s one woman in one place in time dealing with this specific kind of cancer and this is how she’s doing it. I don’t think we set out to try to deliver lessons on how to do it, except maybe…I would hope that people watching it at least will feel like, you know, don’t wait until you get cancer to make yourself happy.

“I am the affirmative action cancer survivor of this group,” Bicks continued, “and I’m sure many of you have been through it or know people who have been through it, and there isn’t one way that you go through it. I think that’s the most important thing. You’re going to have very odd reactions, very funny reactions, and tragic reactions. It’s all part of life.”

Is your curiosity piqued? Well, this is your lucky day: Showtime has made the first episode of “The C Word” available to everyone…yes, even you, sir…for advance viewing. Check it out, and let me know what you think!

• The Real L Word

There’s no point in – if you’ll pardon the expression – beating around the bush on the matter of “The Real L Word”: I don’t tend to watch reality shows, and the only reason that I’d find myself watching this one is that I’m a straight male, and everyone knows that most straight males are – if you’ll pardon the word – titillated by lesbians. Throw in the fact that the first season of the show is only a few weeks from wrapping up, and there’s really only one thing from the panel that needs to be addressed: are we ever going to see the kind of nudity on this show that we saw on the original “L Word”?

“You should check out this Sunday’s episode,” said executive producer Jane Lipsitz.

“I think Episode 7 is going to make up for the whole entire 1 through 6 not having that shock value,” said Rose Garcia. “Without giving away too much, it’s probably going to be…well, there’s only one word: epic. That’s all I can say.”

“Honestly, Episode 7 really, I think, was pioneering on many levels,” said Whitney Mixter. “The thing is, in terms of nudity, I think we had different boundaries. I know for myself when I went into it, I said, ‘If I’m going to do it, I’m going to go in a hundred percent, just, like, balls to the wall,’ for lack of better phrasing. And I said I wasn’t going to close the door, whether it was the kitchen, bathroom, or bedroom. It was just basically, for me, about whether my…well, the partner I was with at the time was comfortable, because we are consenting adults. I’m very, like, sex-positive, comfortable with my body. And I think it’s time for women to really, like, own that and step up to the plate. Men have been doing it for years. So I think that with my storyline, you’ll see several sexual situations and some nudity throughout the season, but it definitely increases in the next three episodes.”

“In other words,” said Nikki Weiss, “if you have not watched anything, this would be the one.”

• Dexter

Even if you weren’t watching “Dexter” last season – and, unfortunately, I have to admit that I wasn’t, though I have really good intentions about catching up soon – it’s still very possible that you might’ve heard the rumble about John Lithgow’s Golden Globe winning performance as Arthur Mitchell, a.k.a. the Trinity Killer. And the season finale…? Viewers are still talking about it, and ever since it aired, they’ve been chomping at the bit to find out where Dexter’s path will take him now that the love of his life is dead.

To get at least a little bit of insight into what we can expect, let’s start by looking at the trailer that Showtime has released to get folks jazzed for the new season:

I’ll tell you, man, that makes me want to throw aside all of the TCA stuff I’ve got on my plate and just watch “Dexter” for the next few days…but since that’s not an option, I’ll go ahead and offer up a few highlights from the panel.

Although that trailer would have you think that Seasons 4 and 5 were conceived jointly, they actually weren’t. “We rarely go beyond one year, because that has to have a season-long arc that has its own story from start to finish,” said executive producer Sara Colleton. “But when we got to the end of Season 4 and after the finale, it very quickly became clear to us what Season 5 had to be about. We felt we needed to start the season right where we left off so that the audience would participate in seeing Dexter deal with the blow-back for his culpability in Rita’s death. To cheat that would be to cheat our audience.”

It may not surprise you, however, that no one amongst the cast was particularly forthcoming with details about what we might expect to see in Season 5.

When asked if Vince Masuka’s off-the-job interests and DVD collection might result in him figuring things out than others might not, C.S. Lee offered the kind of answer that revealed nothing but his own optimism, saying, “I certainly think it’s a possibility. You know, he works in close proximity with Dexter, and we share labs. That certainly can happen. You know, I certainly hope he doesn’t get too close to that. He will have to be the next one to go!”

When Jennifer Carpenter was asked where her character, Debra, would be going this season, she would only say, “She’s going to work. You know, she’s literally going to work, hiding there, being seen there.”

Not much to work with, right? Fortunately, the show’s executive producers were willing to offer up at least a little bit more information.

Chip Johannssen tackled the matter of how the police are once again taking a long, hard look at Dexter this year. “Obviously, from the clip, it’s going to be spearheaded by Quinn in some form,” he confirmed, “and it’s really going to look a lot different because, first of all, he’s going to have more actual information. He’s not going to be this bull in a china shop thing just going after Dexter. And the other thing is, because he isn’t the bull in a china shop, this sort of outsider in the bull pen, Quinn has, you know, found a home there, which is one of the nice things about this show, I think, that there’s this kind of work environment that feels very family-like. He’s going to have a much, much more difficult time eventually pushing forward with this investigation as kind of the personal relationships around him weigh on him. So it’s going to look a lot different.”

We were also able to get at least a tiny bit of insight into what we can expect from three of the season’s most notable guest stars, Peter Weller, Julia Stiles, and Jonny Lee Miller.

“Peter Weller is going to be a big problem for Dexter, especially in the back parlor,” said Johannssen. “We called (the character) Weller when we originally conceived him, and then we had to change the name once we got the guy we had actually wanted. So he’s kind of an ex-cop, a kind of cocaine, cowboy-era guy who gets into some trouble with the corruption thing and ends up kind of posing a problem for Dexter.

“We are taking a break this year from what has been the way we’ve plotted out our seasons in the past four years, which is to have one, sort of, season-long adversary for Dexter,” said Colleton. “And we thought this was the perfect year, because of what Dexter has gone through, to take a break from that. And so, as he’s going through different stages of his grief, really, even though, for Dexter, it’s completely unarticulated and it’s a range of human emotion that he doesn’t know what he’s feeling, but as he goes through different stages, there will be different characters who will come in, who will interact. And so, as the season progresses, some of these characters interlock, but it’s a very — the through line is, this year, Dexter’s atonement, and different people help him along the way in different capacities. And that’s why we have a very interesting array of new actors.

“We have an ensemble this year with Jonny Lee Miller and Julia Stiles and others that help illuminate what Sara is talking about, which is this discovery of atonement,” said executive producer John Goldwyn.

“Yeah, one of the things we wanted to do this year was shake up that single big bad, especially in the wake of John Lithgow, and it did seem like the thing to do was try to top the baroque serial killer thing,” said Johannssen. “Also, given where Dexter was coming from, it does become a series about atonement. He’s not a character who experiences guilt or grief like any of us would, so it’s not his intention starting out, but the season kind of becomes about this as he slides into it. As Michael (C. Hall) sometimes says, he trips into it, this kind of oddly human experience, at a time where he just feels that everything that he has done that had to do with connecting with humanity has melted down in this horrible, horrible way. The last thing he wants to do is be involved with people, and yet part of the amazing thing about this character, who is so outside of everybody and so alienated, is that he keeps trying to claw his way back in. In the wake of Rita’s death, you see that over the course, really, of the whole season.”

• Episodes

Hey, everybody, Matt LeBlanc’s back!

Those of you who just made cricket sounds should be ashamed of yourselves. If you’d been on “Friends” and hadn’t had much luck making the move to films, you would’ve jumped at the chance to spin off your character into his own sitcom, too. Besides, it’s not LeBlanc’s fault that “Joey” kinda sorta sucked, y’know? For my money, the guy deserves another shot at success…and, frankly, I’ve been excited at the prospect of seeing his new Showtime series, “Episodes,” ever since the network released this promo in conjunction with the last TCA tour:

Funny stuff, right? Mind you, it’s only a promotional trailer and won’t actually be part of the show, but it’s still a good look into the sensibilities of the series, which will finally make its debut in a few months. To keep us enthused, we were provided with a couple of scripts and shown a few clips from what they’ve filmed thus far, and I have to tell you: I’m very psyched. If you want to call LeBlanc a one-note comedic actor, fair enough, but if that’s the case…well, what can I say? I never fail to laugh at that one note.

LeBlanc certainly seems to be happy about being back…as well he should, since he hasn’t really done much of anything since “Joey” left the air in 2006.

“There were a few network shows that came and went that crossed my desk and I said no to,” said LeBlanc. “You know, 12 years, every day, was a lot. It was a great time, but I wanted to take some time off and spend time with my daughter and just sort of take some time away from the business. It’s nice to be back now in something with writing that I have real faith in, with a cast that’s really talented, and it was a lot of fun.

“I got a call from Jeffrey (Klarik) and David (Crane), and they said, ‘What are you doing?’ I said, ‘Just hanging out. Nothing.’ And they said, ‘We have an idea. Let’s get together.’ So I met them for lunch, and they pitched me the idea, and I committed right there at the table. It’s been a real joy to have them on set every day. There was no writing staff on this. David and Jeffrey wrote all of them by themselves in advance. So when we got to shooting, unlike episodic television, where the writers are off in a room with a staff breaking episodes, they were on set every frame that we shot. And it really helped to give life to the voices that they created, and it was a real joy. I think everybody really enjoyed that.

“It was a little different,” LeBlanc admitted. “This is single camera versus multi camera in front of an audience, so when the punch lines came up and you say the punch line and there’s no crowd laughing, it’s a little unnerving. But aside from that, I think we had a really good time, and I think it shows.”

The premise of “Episodes” revolves around a married couple who are forced to endure the process of taking the popular British sitcom that they’ve created and turning it into an American sitcom, but executive writer Jimmy Mulville assured us that the series will not have as much of an industry-insider feel as its concept might imply.

“I think what happens to the couple is it’s not about television,” said Mulville. “This whole thing is about a triangle. Beverly and Sean come to Hollywood. He wants to go there. She’s reluctant, but she loves him. So she goes, and they try and make this work. Enter Matt LeBlanc. There the triangle is formed, and it’s about that, really. It’s about a comedy about these three people and the brilliant characters very beautifully drawn at the network, and they all conspires to make a mess of these people’s lives. So a marriage goes through a real crisis, and the backdrop is this crazy world of network TV, which apparently Jeffrey (Klarik) and David (Crane) know quite well.”

“It’s sort of about show business like ‘I Love Lucy’ was about show business, you know?” said Klarik. “I mean, it’s really on the periphery of all of our stories. The story’s really about the three of them and their dynamic.”

“And hopefully that’s what the audience will invest in,” said Crane, “It’s really about what happens between the people.”

• CW Executive Session

And so we enter the realm of The CW, beginning with a few introductory remarks from Paul McGuire, the man who handles publicity for the network. McGuire offered up his Top Ten Favorite Moments in TCA History, but there are so many inside jokes within the list that there’s no point in sharing all of them. Still, there are a couple worth mentioning…

10. Music impresario Ron Fair is the first panelist in press tour history to reference Jean-Paul Sartre…and during the infamous Pussycat Dolls session, no less. Critics are unswayed by the show’s clear female empowerment theme.

8. Two words: “Shasta McNasty.” Come to think of it, two more words: “Desmond Pfeiffer.”

6. At the NBC panel for miniseries “The ’60s,” original hippie Wavy Gravy nods off and audibly snores. If you remember it, you weren’t there.

1. Indefatigable reporter Joe Adalian, does a Tommy Lee Jones, chasing the Fugitive…in this case, Jamie Tarses…down a swank hallway of the Pasadena Ritz-Carlton, followed by the biggest gaggle in press tour history. ABC executive sessions: once exciting, always exciting.

Actually, that last one was pretty much just for the TV geeks…but if you know who Jamie Tarses is, trust me, it’s a riot.

After a few words from Paul Hewitt, it was time for the executive session from Dawn Ostroff, the network’s President of Entertainment, who offered up the following tidbits of information:

The fifteenth cycle of “America’s Top Model” is going to be focusing on the high fashion world. “We have models, designers, judges, and photographers who are all very respected in the high fashion world,” said Ostroff, “and our prize for the fifteen cycle is going to be the cover of Italian Vogue, which is considered to be the most influential magazine in the world for the fashion business.”

The first few episodes of the new season of “Gossip Girl” were filmed in France. We saw some footage, and it looks like the usual cheese but with an international flair…and by calling it “cheese,” I’m trying to hide the fact that, although I almost never watch it when it actually airs, I invariably devour the “Gossip Girl” full-season DVD sets whenever they’re released.

Fans should not be concerned about the changes that are going on behind the scenes of “Supernatural.” “Eric Kripke, who has been a fantastic creator/executive producer of the show, felt that the show really should go on, that he still had more stories to tell,” said Ostroff. “Sera Gamble, who has been a number two on the show for a while, was eager to kind of step up and take on the role of executive producer. While Eric is still involved on a day-to-day basis, Sera is really running the show. And Bob Singer, of course, is there. He’s been there all along as well. When they came in and pitched us ideas for the season, we were really excited about the direction that they wanted to go in, a bit of a throwback going back to the first season, a bit of a switch in the characters where Sam is a little bit more like Dean and Dean is going to be a little bit more like Sam. But they had some innovative ways to approach the season. We all thought it probably will be maybe even stronger than last year. So we are excited that the show will be back.

“I don’t know if you saw the show in the first season,” Ostroff continued, “but it was pretty much they were hunting something different every single week, and they’re going to go back to that format. The one twist aside from the guy’s personalities kind of changing a bit is that their mother’s side of the family is going to turn out to be hunters also, and so there’ll be some storylines involving their mom’s side of the family. I think we’re all feeling really enthusiastic about ‘Supernatural.’ Everybody on the show still feels that there’s a lot of juice left in the characters, and we hope it goes on for more seasons, for sure.”

The door has been left open for Michael Rosenbaum to return and reprise the role of Lex Luthor. “We have left the door open, we hope that he will come back, but we don’t know if that will happen, but we’ve certainly left the door open,” said Ostroff. “They do have the entire season planned out, and I think it’s going to be a really thrilling last season for them. I know that a lot of the actors and the writers…I mean, everybody feels this sense of wanting to give the audience a really fulfilling season finale, and so I think it won’t disappoint. The big villain this year is going to be Darkseid, and I can tell you that they’re going to have Brainiac back. They’re going to have Supergirl back. They’re going to have Hawkman back. So they’ve got a lot of interesting surprises.”

(Ostroff also acknowledged that talks have begun to see if there are other possible DC Comics properties to adapt. “We haven’t picked anything up to develop yet, but we would love to see something on the air, so we’re going to work on it.”)

And, lastly, The CW currently only has one show set to premiere at mid-season. It’s a reality show called “Shedding for the Wedding.” I don’t think you really need to know any more about it than that.

• Nikita

Oh, sure, you’ve seen “Nikita” before, both as a movie and as a series on the USA Network. But have you really seen “Nikita”? Apparently not, according to executive producer Craig Silverstein, who has – along with fellow producer McG – done his best to make the “La Femme Nikita” concept fresh.

“Warner Bros. had that title (‘Nikita’), and, you know, my first thought was that I love ‘Nikita,'” said Silverstein. “I love all those iterations of it. My second thought was, ‘It’s been done.’ Could it be done fresh? Could we have a take where you didn’t know how this story was going to end? And that’s when I came upon the idea of following Nikita after she had left the agency which is a chapter that’s never been told, and at the same time doing justice to the origin story of Nikita, that dark fairy tale of taking a girl and changing her life, changing her identity, and the kind of ‘My Fair Lady’ aspect, the ‘Pygmalion’ aspect of transforming her into a killer, a beautiful killer and giving her etiquette lessons and all that stuff. We’re doing that with the character of Alex. So you’re kind of following Nikita. You’re also following Alex, who is not Nikita. So you don’t know which way this girl is going to go. You don’t know how the story is going to end. So it’s not a rehash.”

“Also, I think we’re all very excited about the notion of empowered female characters, and we like those shows,” said McG. “And you meet someone like Maggie Q, and you can hear it just in the first couple of questions she answered, she’s a very extraordinary talent. You meet someone like that, you get excited about the notion of a show like this being on the air, and I have very fond memories of those shows. From my experience with ‘Charlie’s Angels,’ on down, it’s just I like the idea of empowered female characters that don’t apologize for being beautiful, but are very, very intelligent and multi-dimensional, and I think Maggie nails that voicing.”

• Hellcats

After I watched the pilot for “Hellcats,” I immediately went to Facebook and indicated that, although I wanted to embrace the cheesiness of the show, I ultimately found it so ridiculous that the only thing I could find to latch onto were the cheerleaders…and that just made me feel old and lecherous. While watching the preview for the show that was played before its TCA panel, though, I was surprised to find that my reaction had softened somewhat: I still don’t think it’s great, but damned if the clips didn’t make me smile. Also, as a father, it would be disingenuous for me to pretend that I don’t sympathize with the idea of somebody’s daughter struggling to pay for their college education and having to fall back on a cheerleading scholarship in order to get to law school.

In short, it’s still not really my cup of tea, but I’m starting to be more appreciative of where they’re coming from.

One of the other critics tried to paint the show as an anti-“Glee,” with cheerleaders coming across more as heroes than villains, but executive producer Kevin Murphy seemed mystified at the suggestion.

“If there’s any sort of antecedent to this,” he said, “it goes back to those, like, awesome aspirational sports movies from the late ’70s and the early ’80s, like ‘Breaking Away’ or ‘Vision Quest’ or ‘Flashdance.’ It’s really about finding characters who are in difficult circumstances, often economic circumstances, who kind of come together, and they form these relationships that happen in sports teams, where sort of a de facto family is found and built. This is a show for either optimists or people who are interested in learning the trade. I think the catch phrase for Ashley (Tisdale’s) character is ‘Positive outcomes only.’ So I would hesitate to say anything is anti on this show.”

Murphy was, however, willing to accept the premise that “Hellcats” is to dancing what “Glee” is to singing.

“Yeah, I think that, absolutely, the dancing is a huge component of the show,” he said, “but it exists very much with one foot in the world of the characters, because I think that nobody is going to tune in to the show to watch the awesome three minutes of dancing that we are going to provide. They are going to tune in because they really care about what’s going on with Marti and her law career and what’s going on with the relationship between the two central girls and the family relationships. That’s really, I think, where the sweet spot where the show lives. I would never have the temerity to try to compete with ‘Glee’ in terms of razzle dazzle and music things and, you know, all of that. They’ve got that territory pretty well staked out.”

As far as the casting process for Savannah, played by Ashley Tisdale, and Marti, played by Alyson Michalka, Murphy seemed pretty amused when telling the story about how they came into their roles.

“For Ashley, when she came in, I laughed my ass off, and I wanted to get up and hug her at the same time,” he said. “I think that Ashley is an actress who can sort of hold multiple colors in the same palette, and the thing that’s really wonderful about her take on Savannah is that she can be chirpy and annoying as a character, and at the same time, she’s so irresistible that you just…you want to hang out with her and be her friend. And as far as Aly…it was just a long and arduous process finding Marti. I don’t know if you realize this, but when you actually walked out of the room, I just had one of those moments that you only see in, like, MGM musicals. I was, like, ‘Okay, well, that was Marti!’ That was the only time I had met her until we had callbacks, and there just never was anyone else. It’s like that mixture of sort of determination and grit and assertiveness and vulnerability. Again, it’s a case where there’s so much going on. I’m being kind of goofy about it, but…I’m so lucky to have both of you.”

I could go on about “Hellcats,” but I don’t know that there’s any point, really. It’s a show about cheerleaders. You’ll watch it or you won’t. But if you feel like you need more details from the panel, let me know, and I’m sure I can oblige.

• Gossip Girl

As I indicated above, I’m kind of a closet “Gossip Girl” fan: I don’t care enough about it to watch it only a week basis, but I’m the first to devour it when it hits DVD, so, basically, I won’t be watching Season 4 ’til sometime next summer. For better or worse, though, the presence of Ed Westwick on the panel kind of answers a question left unanswered in the Season 3 finale…or, as Paul Hewitt put it, “Spoiler alert: Chuck Bass lives!”

Westwick offered no details about how Chuck managed to escape certain death, but he did provide insight into the experience of shooting the first episodes of Season 4 on location in Paris…and how insane the French fans were.

“It was pretty crazy,” he said. “But they were parked outside our hotel most days, so I was holed up watching the remaining games of the World Cup semifinals from the comfort of my hotel. It was absolutely nuts, but the show of support was fantastic down there. Everyone was great, so it was amazing. Good times.”

Thankfully, executive producer Josh Schwartz was willing to give up a little bit of info about Chuck’s fate. “Well, obviously, where we left Chuck at the end of last season was in a pretty dramatic place,” he said. “And, you know, reconnecting with that character and where Blair’s head is at regarding Chuck. And, obviously, you know, there are some photos that have been circling through it in the promos where you see them in a French location seeing each other, and that very act in itself will have explosive consequences for the rest of the season as well as introducing Clemence’s character.”

That would be Clemence Poecy, if you’re wondering, and she’s made quite an impression on the cast already. “I was just absolutely blown away by Clemence,” said Westwick. “I think she’s absolutely fantastic. I had to, like, catch myself in moments in the scene and remember how much you’re supposed to be acting. She was really, really great, so, you know, another great dynamic to bring to the team.

“And a really fresh, different energy for our show,” added executive producer Stephanie Savage.

“Yeah, definitely,” agreed Westwick.

So what can we expect from “Gossip Girl” after the gang gets back from Paris?

“We’re doing Fashion’s Night Out,” said executive producer Joshua Savran. “It’s an event that we’re doing in the third episode. We are sort of dealing with that in multiple episodes, the planning of it, the people that are involved with it on the New York side, which is a really fun, great event in New York City that happens in September that our characters of our world can really fit in.”

“And we’ve had incredible participation and cooperation from Vogue magazine and all of the people who are really creating Fashion’s Night Out, having cameos on our show, bringing models in,” said executive producer Stephanie Savage. “We shot in Diane von Furstenberg’s store, and she showed up.”

“She was great,” agreed Savran. “It’s just been really fun. It’s one of the things I most love about ‘Gossip Girl’ is the events every week and sort of just dreaming up new events and new places for the characters to go. And I think we have a lot of great ones coming up.”

“Katie Cassidy has a big, nice, juicy arc this season that I think is going to be a lot of fun and raise a lot of trouble,” said executive producer Josh Schwartz. “It’s always good to have a character who can come in and turn everybody on their heads and stir the pot.”

Now that “Mercy” has been canceled, we’ll be seeing more of Michelle Trachtenberg…and we do mean that literally, based on the shot of Georgina Sparks that we saw in the preview trailer. (If you’re not taking the hint, she appears to be with child.) Taylor Momsen will also be returning, though the producers are loathe to give out any details about her return, aside from the fact that it will likely take place at some point during the first half of the season.

“We want to keep it a little bit up in the air,” said Savage. “Obviously, her character left at the end of last season in a fairly dramatic fashion, and it felt kind of anticlimactic to just have her appear at the beginning of this season as if all of that didn’t happen. So we’re excited about being able to create some tension while she’s not in the show and bring her back with as much drama as possible at the right moment.”

Outstanding Comedy Series:

* Curb Your Enthusiasm (HBO)
* Glee (Fox)
* Modern Family (ABC)
* Nurse Jackie (Showtime)
* The Office (NBC)
* 30 Rock (NBC)

My Pick: “Modern Family.” There’s no question that “Glee” is award-worthy, but not necessarily as a comedy, which is also where “Nurse Jackie” falters in this category. I feel like “The Office” and “30 Rock” coasted in on their past merits this year, but “Curb” got a huge boost from the “Seinfeld” storyline, so it’s the only real competition here. Still, the buzz on “Modern Family” is all over the place. I can’t imagine it won’t bring home the glory.

Outstanding Lead Actor In A Comedy Series:

* Jim Parsons, “The Big Bang Theory” (CBS)
* Larry David, “Curb Your Enthusiasm” (HBO)
* Matthew Morrison, “Glee” (Fox)
* Tony Shalhoub, “Monk” (USA)
* Steve Carell, “The Office” (NBC)
* Alec Baldwin, “30 Rock” (NBC)

My pick: Jim Parsons, “The Big Bang Theory.” And I’m going to keep picking him until he gets the award, dammit.

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series:

* Lea Michele, “Glee” (Fox)
* Julia Louis-Dreyfus, “The New Adventures of Old Christine” (CBS)
* Edie Falco, “Nurse Jackie” (Showtime)
* Amy Poehler, “Parks & Recreation” (NBC)
* Tina Fey, “30 Rock” (NBC)
* Toni Collette, “United States of Tara” (Showtime)

My pick: Lea Michele, “Glee.” All things being equal, I’d much rather see Edie Falco take home the award, but her best work on “Nurse Jackie” comes from her dramatic work on the series, and the same goes for Toni Collette on “United States of Tara.” I can’t see them giving Julia the award, Tina’s had her day in the sun, and I’m not convinced that enough Emmy voters are watching “Parks & Recreation,” which is one thing you definitely can’t say about “Glee.”

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Comedy Series:

* Chris Colfer, “Glee” (Fox)
* Neil Patrick Harris, “How I Met Your Mother” (CBS)
* Jesse Tyler Ferguson, “Modern Family” (ABC)
* Eric Stonestreet, “Modern Family” (ABC)
* Ty Burrell, “Modern Family” (ABC)
* Jon Cryer, “Two and a Half Men” (CBS)

My pick: Ty Burrell, “Modern Family.” If Cryer wins, the critics will weep, and while Neil always deserves to win an Emmy, let’s hope he takes one home for his guest spot on “Glee” and shares it with Colfer. Stonestreet and Ferguson are great, but it’s only inevitable that they’ll split the vote, which leaves Burrell as the cast member to beat…and, indeed, the nominee to beat.

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Comedy Series:

* Jane Lynch, “Glee” (Fox)
* Julie Bowen, “Modern Family” (ABC)
* Sofia Vergara, “Modern Family” (ABC)
* Kristen Wiig, “Saturday Night Live” (NBC)
* Jane Krakowski, “30 Rock” (NBC)
* Holland Taylor, “Two and a Half Men” (CBS)

My pick: Jane Lynch, “Glee.” It’s the kind of performance that makes you want to just cut to the chase and give it to her now. With that said, however, I would have no complaints if either Vergara or Krakowski took it home. In particular, I’ve always felt that Krakowski was an MVP on “30 Rock” who doesn’t get nearly as much attention as she’s deserved. (Vergara, meanwhile, does get plenty of attention…and rightfully so. Yowza!) Bowen’s great, but much of her performance involves staring incredulously at Ty Burrell, and Taylor’s a class act, but she’s outclassed here. And don’t even get me started on Kristen Wiig. If you’ve got something to say about her, say it here and here.

Outstanding Drama Series:

* Breaking Bad (AMC)
* Dexter (Showtime)
* The Good Wife (CBS)
* Lost (ABC)
* Mad Men (AMC)
* True Blood (HBO)

My pick: Breaking Bad. If you need any more explanation about this pick, then just hit up my blog for the series. It clarifies my feelings pretty well.

Outstanding Lead Actor In A Drama Series:

* Bryan Cranston, “Breaking Bad” (AMC)
* Michael C. Hall, “Dexter” (Showtime)
* Kyle Chandler, “Friday Night Lights” (DirecTV)
* Hugh Laurie, “House” (Fox)
* Matthew Fox, “Lost” (ABC)
* Jon Hamm, “Mad Men” (AMC)

My pick: Bryan Cranston, “Breaking Bad.” As if there was ever any doubt, right? I said in September Laurie would earn an Emmy nomination based on his performance in the “House” season premiere alone, so it’s nice to see that I was right about that, and I’d probably have to turn in my TCA membership card if I didn’t cheer for Chandler’s nomination just on general principle. Fox’s nod seems more sentimental than anything else, though. It could well prove to be a three-way heat between Hamm, Hall, and Cranston, but I’m sticking with my favorite horse on this one.

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Drama Series:

* Kyra Sedgwick, “The Closer” (TNT)
* Glenn Close, “Damages” (FX)
* Connie Britton, “Friday Night Lights” (DirecTV)
* Julianna Margulies, “The Good Wife” (CBS)
* Mariska Hargitay, “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” (NBC)
* January Jones, “Mad Men” (AMC)

My pick: Julianna Margulies, “The Good Wife.” But with all due respect to Ms. Margulies, the person who I would’ve voted for didn’t even score a nomination…and, frankly, I’m pissed about it. In fact, I’m calling bullshit on the fact that January Jones received a nod for “Mad Men” while Anna Gunn was left out in the cold for her outstanding work on “Breaking Bad” this season. That’s right, I’m unabashedly calling out Jones as the one who doesn’t belong in this category: sure, she plays the ice queen to perfection, but if you saw her hosting “Saturday Night Live,” then you know that you’re seeing something not terribly far from her default setting. Jones coasted into this nomination via name recognition for the show, plain and simple, and not for her acting.

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Drama Series:

* Aaron Paul, “Breaking Bad” (AMC)
* Martin Short, “Damages” (FX)
* Terry O’Quinn, “Lost” (ABC)
* Michael Emerson, “Lost” (ABC)
* John Slattery, “Mad Men” (AMC)
* Andre Braugher, “Men of a Certain Age” (TNT)

My pick: Terry O’Quinn, “Lost.” This is certifiably the single hardest category for me, because there’s literally no one in the running who I wouldn’t like to see take home the award, but gut feeling is that one of the two “Lost” cast members will end up winning, with O’Quinn being my personal favorite (not that Emerson isn’t great). In a perfect world, though, enough people would have watched the 3rd season of “Damages” to give their votes to Short. Braugher got to play a lot of great family drama, and, well, you know how I feel about “Breaking Bad,” but, seriously, Aaron Paul’s work this year as Jesse worked his way through rehab while dealing with emotional trauma was outstanding. And Slattery…c’mon, the guy makes me grin whenever he walks on camera. There are no losers here.

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Drama Series:

* Sharon Gless, “Burn Notice” (USA)
* Rose Byrne, “Damages” (FX)
* Archie Panjabi, “The Good Wife” (CBS)
* Christine Baranski, “The Good Wife” (CBS)
* Christina Hendricks, “Mad Men” (AMC)
* Elisabeth Moss, “Mad Men” (AMC)

My pick: Christina Hendricks, “Mad Men.” I had a lot of trouble picking from my four favorite nominees here, but while Byrne, Baranski, and Moss were all great, Hendricks’ work with Joan’s struggles in her personal and professional lives made her the stand-out for me.

Outstanding Miniseries:

* The Pacific (HBO)
* Masterpiece: Return to Cranford (PBS)

My pick: The Pacific. Sorry, “Cranford,” but betting against “The Pacific” would be like going into a Harlem Globetrotters game and expecting to see them have their asses handed to them by the Washington Generals.

Outstanding Made for Television Movie:

* Masterpiece: Endgame (PBS)
* Georgia O’Keeffe (Lifetime)
* Moonshot (The History Channel)
* The Special Relationship (HBO)
* Temple Grandin (HBO)
* You Don’t Know Jack (HBO)

My pick: Temple Grandin. The competition is pretty fierce here, with the big guns all coming from HBO, but as much as I liked the network’s other two nominees, “Temple” has the edge because of the way director Mick Jackson brought to life the way Grandin sees the world.

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Miniseries or Movie:

* Jeff Bridges, “A Dog Year” (HBO)
* Ian McKellen, “The Prisoner” (AMC)
* Michael Sheen, “The Special Relationship” (HBO)
* Dennis Quaid, “The Special Relationship” (HBO)
* Al Pacino, “You Don’t Know Jack” (HBO)

My pick: Al Pacino, “You Don’t Know Jack.” There were several occasions during the course of the film when I completely forgot that I was watching Pacino, and, man, I can’t think of the last time that happened. It’s good to have you back, Al.

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Miniseries Or A Movie:

* Maggie Smith, “Capturing Mary” (HBO)
* Joan Allen, “Georgia O’Keeffe” (Lifetime)
* Dame Judi Dench, “Masterpiece: Return to Cranford” (PBS)
* Hope Davis, “The Special Relationship” (HBO)
* Claire Danes, “Temple Grandin” (HBO)

My pick: Claire Danes, “Temple Grandin.” Yes, yes, we all know what was said in “Tropic Thunder” about performances like these, but the simple fact of the matter is that Danes did an exemplary job of capturing the awkwardness of an autistic woman trying not only to make it in a career dominated by men but, indeed, in society as a whole.

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Miniseries or Movie:

* Michael Gambon, “Masterpiece: Emma” (PBS)
* Patrick Stewart, “Great Performances: Hamlet” (PBS)
* Jonathan Pryce, “Masterpiece: Return to Cranford” (PBS)
* David Strathairn, “Temple Grandin” (HBO)
* John Goodman, “You Don’t Know Jack” (HBO)

My pick: David Strathairn, “Temple Grandin.” I’ve got nothing but love for the PBS performances, particularly Sir Patrick’s, but Strathairn’s calm performance played wonderfully against what Claire Danes brought to the table as the title character.

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Miniseries or Movie:

* Kathy Bates, “Alice” (SyFy)
* Julia Ormond, “Temple Grandin” (HBO)
* Catherine O’Hara, “Temple Grandin” (HBO)
* Brenda Vaccaro, “You Don’t Know Jack” (HBO)
* Susan Sarandon, “You Don’t Know Jack” (HBO)

My pick: Brenda Vaccaro, “You Don’t Know Jack.” This was another tough one, as Ormond and O’Hara were both exemplary…as was Sarandon, for that matter…but the brother/sister dynamic between Vaccaro and Al Pacino was too damned wonderful to ignore.

Outstanding Variety, Music, or Comedy Series:

* The Colbert Report (Comedy Central)
* The Daily Show With Jon Stewart (Comedy Central)
* Real Time With Bill Maher (HBO)
* Saturday Night Live (NBC)
* The Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien (NBC)

My pick: The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. I’d love to hear Conan’s acceptance speech if he won, but I think he’s gotten sufficient just desserts simply by being nominated, so I’d rather the consistently strong work of Stewart and his crew get the Emmy.

Outstanding Reality Program:

* Antiques Roadshow (PBS)
* Dirty Jobs (Discovery Channel)
* Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution (ABC)
* Kathy Griffin: My Life On The D-List (Bravo)
* MythBusters (Discovery Channel)
* Undercover Boss (CBS)

My pick: “Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution.” It’s probably the least watched show on the list, but that never stopped “The Amazing Race” from winning in the past.

Outstanding Host For A Reality Or Reality-Competition Program

* Phil Keoghan, “The Amazing Race” (CBS)
* Ryan Seacrest, “American Idol” (Fox)
* Tom Bergeron, “Dancing with the Stars” (ABC)
* Heidi Klum, “Project Runway” (Bravo)
* Jeff Probst, “Survivor” (CBS)

My pick: Phil Keoghan, “The Amazing Race.” Believe it or not, this season was the first time I’d ever watched the show. Say, you know, it’s pretty good!

Oh, man: how sad is it that Coop’s buying Ramen noodles for dinner? The camera didn’t go out of its way to focus on his choice of food, but I’d know a package of those anywhere. (Hand on heart, I’m eating a bowl of them as I write this very blog…which, come to think of it, is pretty tragic in and of itself.) Between his one-man meals, his overemphasis on how many folks on Twitter are following his every move, and his repeated reminders to Eddie that he’s there for him if he needs to talk, it’s clear that Cooper’s life is pretty pitiful these days…almost, it seems, as pitiful as Eddie’s. (The way he grills Coop about who’s spreading the word about his supposed suicide attempt, you can tell that he wants to find any possible excuse to hate Jackie.) I hope making the list of the 25 Best Doctors in Manhattan pays off for Coop…and not just because he spent money on a publicist to earn his position. At this rate, the guy’s going to fall into a serious depression way sooner than later.

What is it about medical shows that they feel obliged to make their male viewers squirm for all they’re worth…or am I the only one who reacted that way at the below-the-waist issues of the dog-bite victim? Mind you, it took a little bit of the sting away when his wife’s first reaction to her husband’s injuries was to muse, “I’ll probably be banned from the kennel club for life…” Thank God we didn’t get a shot of the guy whose cell phone blew up in his face…

Jackie’s really not paying much attention to what’s going on around her: first Kaitlyn busts her snorting drugs, and then Zoe catches her trying to use her PIN to get drugs out of the Pill-O-Matix. She’s also growing even more hypocritical this season that she was in the last, such as claiming at one point in the episode that “we don’t take pills in our family,” then later snorting drugs in the bathroom stall and emerging to tell the nursing mother swigging vodka by the sink that “if you’re gonna drink, you’ve gotta do it outside.” We’re shaping up to see her take a big fall sooner than later, and there’s going to be a whole lot of denial going on when it happens.

We didn’t get a whole lot of development with the subsidiary characters this week, though. Zoe’s wearing eyeshadow and perfume and people are noticing and wanting to know why, but it takes Eleanor’s direct question – “Who is he?” – to get any semblance of an answer out of her: there’s a party, and a particular person of interest will be in attendance. Sam turns up just long enough for Jackie to bitch at him, but his reaction to said bitching was priceless. (“You are going to bust my balls every chance you get!”) Similarly, Thor only had a chance to deliver a single laugh this week, with Zoe calling him on his 3-time use of a dated O.J. joke, resulting in his snippy reply, “Oh, like your material’s so fresh…” But I really liked the scene where Akalitis and Eleanor bond over the latter’s utter annoyance at being left off the 25 Doctors list, particularly when Akalitis read Eleanor’s mind and told her exactly what she was asking herself: “What is my incentive to keep bringing my best?” It was a nice touch to have Eleanor spend the episode complaining about America’s obsession with lists, only to respond to her placement on Akalitis’s top-5 list by demanding, “Who are the other four?”

Awesome ending, with Jackie walking into the house to find Eddie sitting on the floor, playing with her kids. Edie Falco’s expression was priceless. Can’t wait to see how things pick up next week.

Random observations:

* I can appreciate that Kevin’s not into the idea of having to deal with the strings that might be attached to Eleanor’s money for the girls’ education, but it struck me as rather pigheaded. I mean, it’s their education. Personally, I make a lot of exceptions to my personal rules where my daughter is concerned. You’ve got to do what’s best for your kids, right?

* I laughed out loud at the cut from Kevin agreeing to Jackie’s assessment that he’s a good dad to Jackie snorting drugs. Well, at least the kids have one good parent…

* Also funny: Coop’s attempt to act bad-ass while delivering the line, “I will crush her!”

* I loved the ihe incredibly un-casual way Coop literally dumped the copy of New York Magazine into Eleanor and Jackie’s laps, as well as Eleanor’s subsequent outrage that she didn’t make the list of the 25 Best Doctors in Manhattan.

* Did you pay attention to the almost-throwaway line from Jackie in the middle of her back-and-forth with the wife of the dog-bite victim – “We don’t take pills in our family” – and how, when it was countered, it led Jackie to offer a particularly nasty delivery when revealing the patient’s testicular-migration woes.

* Akalitis’s best quote this week: “I like to hide my humanity…or least keep it to a minimum.”

You can’t say the set designers haven’t come up with a realistic looking garage for the Peyton family, and as soon as I saw the shot of the electrical outlets, I knew it was going to play into the storyline in some capacity, but I didn’t expect that it would involve the ever-paranoid Grace going around and unplugging all of the appliances in the house every night so as to avoid possible house fires. Good lord, the child has been saving her allowance to buy the safest possible smoke detector for the house…? That’s a whole new level of paranoia, so I figured it wouldn’t be long before the child entered therapy on a full-time basis, and, of course, I was right: Jackie was looking into it before the end of the episode. And speaking of that particular discussion, Akalitis’s comment about how the psychiatrist “was extremely helpful with my boy” is, unless I missed something last season, the first actual clarification as to why she was so enamored of the baby last season. She used to have a son, it seems, and the fact that there’s been no mention of him up to this point leads me to suspect that the boy in question is no longer among the living, though given Akalitis’s age, I suppose it’s equally possible that he’s now grown up and out in the world somewhere.

So Eleanor “partied like a 20-year-old last night,” scored some Ecstasy, and admits that she’s still high. I’m watching this, and I’m thinking with all due sarcasm, “Oh, no, that’s not going to come back into play. Never!” Well, at the very least, it didn’t come back into play this episode, which truly surprised me. I guess it’s just part of the overall “I miss Mummy” arc, along with Eleanor’s recurring demand that Jackie inform her daughters that they now have a godmother with a crisp British accent, but the end result was that, on second viewing, I could just sit back and enjoy Eleanor’s hysterical run / dance down the hallway (and the resulting scream from Zoe) and her unabashed flirtation with and up-and-down admiration of Sam without fear that it was all going to be tainted by Eleanor screwing up on the job while still under the influence. To be momentarily melancholy, though, I must mention one bit about Eleanor’s mourning of her mother that really hit home for me: her uncertainty about how to remove her from the list of contacts on her cell phone. Having witnessed someone have a breakdown when they accidentally stumbled upon their deceased parent’s number on their phone, I can say with 100% seriousness that this is a very valid point of concern.

Eddie comes into the bar for further bonding with Kevin, continues his interesting tactic of telling his carefully parsed-out version of the truth by admitting his suicide attempt to get the attention of a woman, then says, “Ah, I’m just fucking with ya.” Comedy: it comes in all forms. Sick sense of humor? You said it, pal. not me. I keep waiting for Eddie to pull out a gun, but, y’know, I’m getting the impression that, while this may have started as Eddie trying to get revenge on Jackie for what he views as a betrayal, he might actually be starting to like Kevin. Makes sense: they do have something in common, after all.

This was a great week for back-and-forth battles. First, you had Jackie vs. Coop, which started out with Jackie being incredibly shitty to him and refusing to let him get the last word when talking to their young patient and his family, but just when I was feeling sympathy for the guy, he walks out of the room and starts Tweeting about his life (a nice nod to Peter Facinelli’s real-life obsession with the activity). Granted, it was pretty hilarious, but it’s something that you can totally understand Jackie viewing as a douche-tastic maneuver. In the end, though, she’s the one who got smacked across the face for trying to do an end-run around Coop, so I guess I was rooting for the right horse all along. Man, Jackie really knows how to push people’s emotional buttons…which is no doubt why she hates it when other people do it to her. By the way, this was definitely one of those cases where you’re reminded that, in the end, these patients are often little more than chess pieces for the doctors and nurses. The other battle of the week was between Jackie and Sam, of course, and allow me to once again reiterate how psyched I am that they brought him back as a regular for Season 2. I love the way he’s shaking things up for Jackie. I just hate to see her stab him in the back, but you know it’s going to happen sooner than later. Her complaint to Akalitis is just her official way of handling the situation. When she steps outside the lines, that’s when it’s going to get U-G-L-Y.

Woo-hoo! God’s back! I’m not surprised, either: his appearance from last season was classic, and giving him the chance to interact with the cast in person (as opposed to from an open window) was a must-do. Zoe’s scream of “God down!” after he was hit by the bottle made me laugh out loud, as did God’s decision to retract the comparison he’d made between Coop and Clark Gable, but clearly the best part of the storyline was Zoe accidentally breaking God’s brain by clarifying for him that he, uh, isn’t God. Her pep talk was awesome, though, particularly her use of the phrase “religious hierarchical stratification.”

Lastly, I’m really digging the conversations between Jackie and Thor, but, uh, wow, so I guess Steven Wallem is missing an eye in real life? Otherwise, that was a remarkable bit of visual trickery, the way he seemed to pop it right out of the socket!

Random comments and observations:

* “You know, the number one ingredient in hot dogs is cancer.” Really, Jackie? Because I could swear I read somewhere that it was pig anuses…

* Eleanor observing a disheveled Zoe stepping out of a cab and asking, “Was that a walk of shame?” If anything, I’d say it was more of a walk of pride, given Zoe’s cheerfulness, but I nonetheless laughed at the exchange between Eleanor and Jackie on the matter. “Do you think Zoe got her pipes cleaned?” “It’s like seeing Santa naked,” replied Jackie, with a shudder. “It’s not right.”

* Sam’s diagnosis of Eleanor’s activities from the previous evening. “Chasing your G & T’s with a little Thai stick…? Impressive!”

* Thor’s hoarding of magazines, “including ‘InTouch.'” (“Please don’t amplify my shame.”)

* Zoe and Sam’s brief bonding moment…or, more specifically, Zoe’s anecdote about taking Dramamine before going to Great Adventure because of a previous unfortunate yakking experience, which was aided in no small fashion by her gesticulation.

* Coop’s Tweet: “Bitchy nurse being bitchy again.”

* God telling Zoe that he saw something when he got hit. “”Like what?” she asks. “Like a bottle whizzing towards you?”

* And, of course, this exchange between Jackie and Thor:

Jackie: What do you think of the new nurse, Sam?
Thor: Well, I think he’s really smart and incredibly cute, and I think he’s probably an excellent nurse.
Jackie: I don’t like him.
Thor: He’s dead to me.

In closing, let us all remember the words of God’s brother-in-law: “Lather, rinse, repeat: that’s how they’ll get you!”