Mike & Molly (Mon., Sept. 20 @ 9:30 PM, CBS)

* The competition: “Dancing with the Stars” (ABC), “The Event” (NBC), “Lonestar” (Fox), “Gossip Girl” (The CW)

Starring: Billy Gardell, Melissa McCarthy, Reno Wilson, Katy Mixon, Nyambi Nyambi, Swoosie Kurtz

Producers: Chuck Lorre and Mark Roberts (“Two and a Half Men,” “The Big Bang Theory”)

Network’s Description: a comedy about a working class Chicago couple who find love at an Overeaters Anonymous meeting. Officer Mike Biggs is a good-hearted cop who sincerely wants to lose weight. Mike’s partner, Officer Carl McMillan, is a thin, fast-talking wise-guy who, despite his teasing, encourages Mike on his road to slimness and romance. While speaking at an O.A. meeting, Mike meets Molly Flynn, an instantly likeable fourth-grade teacher with a good sense of humor about her curves. For Molly, focusing on smart choices isn’t easy while living with her sexy older sister, Victoria, and their mother, Joyce, both of whom flaunt their effortless figures while indulging their healthy appetites right in front of her. Mike also faces temptation at the diner he and Carl frequent, where they’ve become friends with a Senegalese waiter, Samuel, to whom dieting is a foreign concept. Mike and Molly found each other in the most unexpected of places. Now, they’re about to find out where their quest for companionship will take them.

The Buzz: Even the people who hate the show’s abundance of fat jokes…I’m one of them, and I’m pretty sure I’d still be one of them even if I wasn’t overweight…aren’t arguing with the odds of a Chuck Lorre show becoming a success, especially not on the night of the week that’s spawned his biggest hits.

Pilot Highlight: when Mike speaks to Molly’s class and reveals the origins of his career in law enforcement…or, really, anytime Mike and Molly are together. They’re a ridiculously cute couple.

Bottom Line: If the writers don’t put the show on a low-fat-jokes diet immediately – there are, no weight pun intended, a ton of them – in favor of embracing the great chemistry between Gardell and McCarthy, viewers’ romance with the show will be short-lived, but Lorre’s track record is such that we’re willing to give him the benefit of the doubt that he’ll get “Mike & Molly” into shape sooner than later.

Hawaii Five-0 (Mon., Sept. 20 @ 10:00 PM, CBS)

* The competition: “Castle” (ABC), “Chase” (NBC)

Starring: Alex O’Loughlin, Scott Caan, Daniel Dae Kim, Grace Park, Karyn Manning

Producers: Peter Lenkov (“24,” “CSI: NY”), Alex Kurtzman and Robert Orci (“Alias,” “Fringe”)

Network’s Description: a contemporary take on the classic series about a new elite federalized task force whose mission is to wipe out the crime that washes up on the Islands’ sun-drenched beaches. Detective Steve McGarrett, a decorated Naval officer-turned-cop, returns to Oahu to investigate his father’s murder and stays after Hawaii’s Governor persuades him to head up the new team: his rules, her backing, no red tape and full blanket authority to hunt down the biggest “game” in town. Joining McGarrett is Detective Danny “Danno” Williams, a newly relocated ex-New Jersey cop – a working man in paradise who prefers skyscrapers to the coastline – but who’s committed to keeping the Islands safe for his 8-year-old daughter; and Chin Ho Kelly, an ex-Honolulu Police Detective, and former protégé of McGarrett’s father, wrongly accused of corruption and relegated to a federal security patrol. Chin’s cousin, Kono, is a beautiful and fearless native, fresh out of the academy and eager to establish herself among the department’s elite. McGarrett, repairing his relationship with his estranged sister Mary Ann, vows to bring closure to their father’s case, while the state’s brash new FIVE-0 unit, who may spar and jest among themselves, is determined to eliminate the seedy elements from the 50th state.

The Buzz: If it’s not the strongest of the season, it’s pretty close. CBS is waging a seriously impressive tightrope-walk of an ad campaign, playing up as many of the familiar elements as possible – you’d better believe the theme song remains the same – while also underlining that this is a modernized reboot rather than a continuation of the old show. And how about that cast, huh? Well, I suppose you’ve got to have pretty people to fit in with the gorgeous landscape…

Pilot Highlight: The opening sequence sets up the series – and McGarrett’s tortured past – in seriously kick-ass fashion, confirming that this is not your (grand)parent’s “Hawaii Five-0,” but the more sentimental viewers will giggle with glee when McGarrett finally gets to deliver his signature line, “Book him, Danno.”

Bottom Line: The combination of a familiar title, a solid ensemble, the beautiful backdrop, and O’Laughlin crossing his fingers and putting his faith in the power of the “third time’s the charm” rule should make this into a hit.

WEDNESDAY

The Defenders (Wed., Sept. 22 @ 9:00 PM, CBS)

* The competition: “The Whole Truth” (ABC), “Law & Order: Los Angeles” (NBC)

Starring: Jim Belushi, Jerry O’Connell, Jurnee Smollett, Tanya Fischer

Producers: Carol Mendelsohn (“CSI: NY”), Kevin Kennedy and Niels Mueller (“The Assassination of Richard Nixon”), Joe Gantz and Harry Gantz (“Taxicab Confessions”), Greg Walker (“Three Rivers,” “Without A Trace”)

Network’s Description: a drama about two colorful Las Vegas defense attorneys who go all-in when it comes to representing their clients. Nick and Pete are the local go-to guys with an eclectic client list who are still looking to hit their own jackpot. Leading the law firm of Morelli & Kaczmarek are Nick Morelli, an earnest, hard-charging attorney who represents his clients to the best of his ability, no matter how big or small the case; and his partner, Pete Kaczmarek, whose passion for the law is matched only by his love of fast cars, beautiful women and expensive clothes. Joining them in their growing law practice is new associate Lisa Tyler, an enthusiastic young attorney looking to put her exotic dancing days behind her; and their young assistant, Sophie, a spunky and sweet ingénue who is eager to please her bosses. While Lady Luck shines on their legal careers, the partners have their hands full when it comes to their personal lives. With Pete busy cruising the Vegas Strip for his latest romantic conquest, Nick is focused on repairing a fractured marriage to his estranged wife and remaining present in the life of their young son. No matter the offense, Nick and Pete aim to prove that when the stakes are high, they’re willing to bet the house on the clients they defend in Sin City.

The Buzz: Better than you might think, given Belushi’s critical street cred after eight years of “Life with Jim.” Combining the bright lights of Vegas with a we’ll-defend-anyone law firm and plugging two rather dissimilar actors into the project has, if nothing else, made critics curious about what the result might be.

Pilot Highlight: The look on Nick’s face as he strolls triumphantly away from questioning a witness. After so many years on that trifle of a sitcom, you have to wonder if we’re seeing a little bit of Belushi shining through, proudly reminding viewers that, yes, he actually is a pretty good dramatic actor.

Bottom Line: There’s a lot of potential, but with three shows involving the legal profession (or 2.5 if you don’t count the “Order” in “Law & Order: Los Angeles”), figuring out which one will win the ratings race in advance is – appropriately enough, given the setting – a total crap shoot.

THURSDAY

$#*! My Dad Says (Thurs., Sept. 23 @ 8:30 PM, CBS)

* The competition: “My Generation” (ABC), “Community” and “30 Rock” (NBC), “Bones” (Fox), “The Vampire Diaries” (The CW)

Starring: William Shatner, Jonathan Sadowski, Nicole Sullivan, Will Sasso

Producers: David Kohan and Max Mutchnick (“Will & Grace”)

Network’s Description: based on the popular Twitter feed by Justin Halpern, Ed Goodson is a forthright and opinionated dad who relishes expressing his unsolicited and often wildly politically incorrect observations to anyone within earshot. Nobody is safe from Ed’s rants, including his sons, Henry, a struggling writer-turned-unpaid blogger; and Vince, the meek half of a husband/wife real estate duo with domineering Kathleen. When Henry finds he can no longer afford to pay rent to Sam, his pretty roommate (and secret admirer), Ed reveals a soft spot and invites Henry to move in with him. Henry agrees, knowing that the verbal assault will not abate and now there will be no escape. Describing their father/son relationship is tricky, but Ed will easily come up with a few choice words.

The Buzz: Not good. Even the presence of The Shatman couldn’t keep the critics from complaining about how unfunny the pilot was. Many theorize that it’s because the funniest moments from the original Twitter feed can’t be reproduced on broadcast television, but the supporting cast needs some serious work, too. Granted, we haven’t seen Sadowski’s work yet – he was cast after the first pilot was filmed, and we haven’t seen the new version yet – but Nicole Sullivan has got to stop playing the character of Kathleen with her shrill knob turned up to 11.

Pilot Highlight: Oddly enough, it’s when Shatner’s playing it serious, realizing that his son really needs to talk. But insofar as the comedy goes, the highlight comes when Ed goes to the DMV, which is possibly why the actor who plays the clerk at the DMV, Tim Bagley, has been signed to appear in future episodes.

Bottom Line: On paper, you don’t get a much better comedic pairing than “The Big Bang Theory” and a sitcom starring the man who once played Captain James Tiberius Kirk, but this show can’t simply coast on Shatner being Shatner. At the moment, it’s sitting the spot marked Biggest Disappointment of the Season. It’d really suck $#*! if it has to stay there.

FRIDAY

Blue Bloods (Fri., Sept. 24 @ 10:00 PM, CBS)

* The competition: “20/20” (ABC), “Outlaw” (NBC)

Starring: Tom Selleck, Donnie Wahlberg, Bridget Moynahan, Will Estes, Len Cariou

Producers: Mitchell Burgess and Robin Green (“The Sopranos,” “Southland”), Fred Keller (“24,” “House”) Linda Gase (“Standoff,” “The District”) Leonard Goldberg (“T.J. Hooker”)

Network’s Description: a drama about a multi-generational family of cops dedicated to New York City law enforcement. Frank Reagan is the New York Chief of Police and heads both the police force and the Reagan brood. He runs his department as diplomatically as he runs his family, even when dealing with the politics that plagued his unapologetically bold father, Henry, during his stint as Chief. A source of pride and concern for Frank is his eldest son Danny, a seasoned detective, family man, and Iraqi War vet who on occasion uses dubious tactics to solve cases. The sole Reagan woman in the family, Erin, is a N.Y. Assistant D.A. and newly single parent, who also serves as the legal compass for her siblings and father. Jamie is the youngest Reagan, fresh out of Harvard Law and the family’s “golden boy;” however, unable to deny the family tradition, Jamie decided to give up a lucrative future in law and is now a newly minted cop. Jamie’s life takes an abrupt turn when he’s asked to become part of a clandestine police investigation even his father knows nothing about, and one that could impact the family’s legacy.

The Buzz: The mere fact that Tom Selleck would deign to do another series – something he refused to do unless he could also continue to do regular “Jesse Stone” telefilms at his leisure – is enough to get an older audience excited. Granted, things started looking a little sketchy when executive producer Ken Sanzel, late of “Numb3rs,” departed from the staff, reportedly due to a disagreement with Selleck over the direction of the show, but now that Keller and Gase have been added to the mix, most folks are back to being optimistic about the series.

Pilot Highlight: As you’re watching, you may think it’s going to be when Danny uses some of the aforementioned “dubious tactics” to coerce a suspect into giving up crucial information, but there’s a twist at the end of the pilot – which is hinted at in the above description – that ups the intrigue level of the series in a big way.

Bottom Line: There’s a correlation between Selleck’s most devout fans and people who’ve given up on going out on Friday nights…and that includes me…but even if I did still go out drinking with the boys on a weekly basis, you could bet I’d be setting the TiVo. I’m reserving complete judgment ’til I see how things go with the new production team line-up, but right now “Blue Bloods” is sitting right behind “Lonestar” as one of my favorite new series of the season.

That’s right, the summer 2010 press tour of the Television Critics Association – that’s TCA to you, see? – has come and gone, leaving in its wake a piece that I love to compile but hate to finish. It’s just that kind of experience: there’s always something else to write about.

I know I say this every time, so you’d think my mindset on the tour would’ve changed by now, but I still continue to get excited when I fly to California and spend the better part of two weeks ensconced in a hotel, watching and listening as closely as possible (which, admittedly, isn’t often as closely as I’d like) to various stars, directors, producers, and writers as they do a dog and pony show to promote their program. I know they get sick of it sometimes, but for my part, I still haven’t. I spend the better part of 48 weeks of the year in Chesapeake, VA, a place where I do not regularly cross paths with the people that you see on your TV screen. As such, I remain excited about the opportunity to participate in these ridiculously cool opportunities, and I still feel like I have to share the experience with you, the reader, lest they begin to seem normal to me.

It’s not normal.

It’s the TCA press tour.

And trust me, unless you’re actually in show business, life doesn’t get much less normal than this.

Most entertaining panel by a broadcast network: “Circus,” PBS. Given the subject matter of the series – yes, it really is about the circus, specifically what it’s like to be part of a traveling circus in 2010 – it wasn’t entirely surprising that the panel kicked off with acrobat Christian Stoinev demonstrating some of his gymnastic abilities, but that didn’t make his performance any less impressive.

Plus, he earned bonus points for incorporating a cute little dog named Scooby into the act, who jumped onto Stoinev’s butt, strolled down his back, sat on his feet, and looked as calm as possible as Stoinev balanced semi-precariously on his parallel bars.

Most entertaining panel by a cable network: “Kids in the Hall: Death Comes to Town,” IFC. When I walked into the ballroom and found that we’d all received autographed DVDs of the Kids’ latest endeavor, I thought, “Can it get any better than this?” (I’m a sucker for anything autographed.) Indeed, it could, as the Kids – minus Mark McKinney, who’d been called back to Canada because of a family emergency – held court and kept us in stitches.

Some of my favorite moments:

QUESTION: How long had it been since you had cross-dressed professionally before (“Death Comes to Town”), and was that sort of a difficult readjustment for any of you?
SCOTT THOMPSON: Define “professionally.”
QUESTION: With a large crew.
SCOTT THOMPSON: Oh.
DAVE FOLEY: Not just any exchange of money.
BRUCE McCULLOCH: So if you shoot porn with a small crew, that wouldn’t count…?
KEVIN McDONALD: That’s not cross-dressing professionally.
DAVE FOLEY: Yeah. If you put on a nice shirt and give a handjob at the bus station, that still is professional.
SCOTT THOMPSON: Yes, it is.
BRUCE McCULLOCH: And by “handjob,” we mean “Bible reading,” as we like The Bible.

* Dave Foley on the audience response to Scott Thompson’s cancer being in remission: “I’m getting a sense that a lot of these people are on the cancer side. Well, I hope you are proud of yourselves. ‘Oh, dammit, not another one beating cancer. Poor cancer. When will people learn to love cancer?'”

* Scott Thompson: “I had a much easier time making (‘Death Comes to Town’), even though I was fighting cancer, than I did with ‘Brain Candy,’ honestly. It was tougher to fight Paramount. Because, at least with cancer, you can win.”

QUESTION: Do you find that people, when they see you, wanted to just squash your head? Because, like, I’m sitting here, like, resisting.
DAVE FOLEY: Yeah, a lot of time it has no reference to that gesture. It’s people actually want to crush our heads.
KEVIN McDONALD: The first apartment I ever moved to in Los Angeles, 1996, I was in bed the first night, and a couple were having a fight in the floor above me. And he was crying, “I’m going to crush your head,” and I thought they were fans, but it turned out they weren’t.
DAVE FOLEY: Yeah, it was a bloody homicide.
KEVIN McDONALD: It was a bloody homicide, yes.
DAVE FOLEY: But still, you felt flattered.
KEVIN McDONALD: But still, I felt flattered.

* When asked about their current relationship with Lorne Michaels, who introduced them to the U.S., McCulloch said, “I watch him get a haircut once a year when I go to ‘Saturday Night Live,'” while Foley claimed, “I chill his Amstel Light.” (“And drink it,” added McDonald.)

* Kevin McDonald made the bold choice of using the word “guff” at one point, receiving no end of ridicule from his fellow Kids. “It’s a tough word,” said McCulloch,”I know it’s tough to hear.” Thompson gasped and shrieked, “You said ‘guff‘!” Foley, however, offered a practical solution to the assembled journalists. “You can put asterisks in that. Just G-asterisk-asterisk-asterisk for your print,” he said, adding, “Of course, you online media people can just change it to ‘fuck.’”

* “Death Comes to Town” was filmed in North Bay, ON, but Foley said that it was a rarity for locals to come up and acknowledge their recognition of the Kids. “Canadians don’t do that,” explained Thompson. “Yeah,” agreed Foley. “They’d just come up and start talking to you like they knew you. You know, you would be in the grocery store, and somebody would just come up behind you and say, ‘Special K is marked down today. I’m getting the Special K as well. What are you doing later, Dave?’ And that was how you knew they recognized you.”

* The miniseries features Foley playing “the kindly old town abortionist,” which made it a bit difficult to scout for locations. Foley said that they had to keep making up stuff to tell the people of North Bay, saying things like, “Yeah, this scene, it’s a gynecologist’s office,” or “Oh, it’s an obstetrician’s office.” Or, as Scott Thompson claimed, “It’s a very bad day care.” At this, the crowd of critics erupted with a mixture of boos and laughs. “That was good,” Thompson assured us. “That was bad,” Foley assured him. At this, Thompson nodded, grinned, and admitted, “Very bad.”

Most out-of-control panel by a broadcast network: “Raising Hope,” Fox. I’m not going to pretend that I didn’t laugh really hard at Cloris Leachman’s antics as she wrestled control of the panel away not only from her co-stars but, indeed, from the assembled critics as well, demanding that her chair be moved from one end of the stage to the other and requesting that those asking questions stand up and/or sit down.

At some point, though, I think most of us were left wondering how much of the chaos we were witnessing was intentional and how much was a woman not knowing when to stop trying to be funny. About halfway through, Leachman finally calmed down, going almost completely quiet and giving the others a chance to answer a few questions. By that point, it was very much appreciated.

Most interactive panel by a broadcast network: “Masterchef,” Fox. Last time, Gordon Ramsay had the assembled critics compete to see who could whip up the best topping for Baked Alaska.

This time, he tested our palates by passing out little cups of gazpacho to everyone and asking us to determine the ingredients contained within. The critic who determined the final of the 15 ingredients won a free dinner from one of his restaurants. Sadly, that critic was not me.

Guilty-Pleasure Panel of the Tour: “Jersey Shore 2,” MTV. Love them or hate them, the “Jersey Shore” gang are ubiquitous in any discussion of 2010 pop culture, so it was nigh on impossible not to at least be intrigued when MTV quietly added a “Jersey Shore 2” panel to their proceedings. But who, we wondered, would be in attendance? The answer: every last (CENSORED) one of ’em.

(Actual panel wardrobe not pictured.)

Inevitably, though, it was the one and only Snooki who pulled the best quote of the panel, adding a new word to the vocabulary of American and Canadian TV critics: “snookin’.”

“Snookin’ is when you’re lookin’,” she explained. “So if I say I’m snookin’ for love, I’m snookin’ for a guy. If I snooked the night, then I took the night. Get it?”

Um…

“My snooktionary is coming out, and you’ll understand my language,” she assured us…and, yes, she claims she’s serious about that.

5 Greatest Moments of Complete Honesty During The Tour:

1) Alex O’Loughlin on “Hawaii Five-0”: “If this one doesn’t go, I’m completely bewildered. I have no idea how television works at all.”
2) Carrie Fisher on how it felt to walk onstage wearing a Princess Leia wig: “Like an asshole. A complete, undignified jerk-off. But other than that, really good.”
3) Snooki on her run-in with the law: “Obviously, it wasn’t a good time, but, you know, I didn’t hurt anybody, and I just went out to have a good time on the beach, and you know, stuff like that happens in Jersey. I was in the drunk tank for a little bit. I had too many tequilas.”
4) Billy Gardell (“Mike & Molly”) on his waistline: “I think I’d like to lose some weight. I mean, everybody’d like to be a little bit better than they are, you know, but everybody has a different tick, man. Mine just happens to be pizza. It’s okay. You can laugh at that. I’ve got a mirror. Lighten up.”
5) David Cross on poor decisions he’s made in his life: “I shit myself one time. I mean, it wasn’t a decision. I just thought it was going to be a fart. So it turned out be a bad decision. What’s another poor decision? Oh, telling the thing about shitting myself. That was stupid. Why would I do that? It was unnecessary.”

Most common recurring question during the panels: I’m pretty sure that every single actor whose ancestors can be traced back to India in any capacity whatsoever was asked for their opinion about NBC’s “Outsourced.”

Most awkward segue into an equally awkward question: During the panel for TV Land’s “Harry Loves Lisa,” the reality series starring Harry Hamlin and Lisa Rinna, a critic casually brought up the fact that Prop 8 had been repealed, then added, “Which reminds me of ‘Making Love,’ with Harry and Michael Ontkean. What are your thoughts about maybe a sequel to that movie with Michael? And Lisa, when you see that movie, what do you think? Does it get you going?”

The “So, Paul, What Do You Hear About Ringo’s New Album?” Award: During the panel for “Mr. Sunshine,” Matthew Perry…and, indeed, virtually the entirely assembly of critics, I’d have to guess…was left dumbstruck when he was asked, “Do you ever see David (Schwimmer), and does he talk to you about his goals?”

Strangest rant by a panelist: Yoko Ono. This probably isn’t too much of a surprise, given the widow Lennon’s tendency toward eccentricity, but many critics – including myself – were left flabbergasted by her explosion over one critic’s innocuous question about why she decided to remain in the Dakota after John’s murder. First, she declared it to be “a slightly racist remark, and maybe sexist, too,” but then she really went off.

“You guys are doing that, but when somebody like me, who is probably not part of your culture, how you think, ‘Why she still living there? We wouldn’t live there. Well, maybe because she has a different tradition and she doesn’t care about the fact that he died there.’ You know, something like that. A little bit more barbaric or something. No. I think that you would want to live there, too, because you cherish the memory of that person. That’s one. But also the other thing is, for you to be able to say something like that, ‘How dare she’s living there?’ is sexism, because I know that all guys wouldn’t care. They would just live in the house, you know,whatever happens. They may not even care that they got a divorce or whatever happened. They would just live in the house, and no one’s going to comment. No one’s going to comment that you would go to maybe a whorehouse or something like that right after your wife died. ‘I’m so sorry. He must be so sad.’ I was still sad, so I’m still living in that house. Do you mind?“

I felt so bad for the guy who’d asked the question, who – once he could get a word in edgewise – explained, “Okay, I did not mean to be racist nor sexist, and I don’t know where whorehouses got into this conversation, but when my dad passed away, my mom wanted to go live in Florida, and it’s just…people grieve differently.” Yoko halfheartedly tried to backpedal, saying, “I was being a little bit facetious, I’m sorry,” and she probably was. But, wow, talk about lashing out…

Panelist most likely to have one of his comments thrown back at him when his series premieres: Joseph Fiennes, who plays Merlin in “Camelot,” Starz’s new take on the classic Arthurian legends. Fiennes said of his character, “I think of Merlin as a sort of cross between Obi-Wan Kenobi and Donald Rumsfeld.” This, of course, resulted in an immediate follow-up question, requesting a bit more clarification on the resemblance to Rumsfeld. “Well, I don’t want to draw too many parallels and be boxed in a corner too much,” Fiennes replied, “but I just think it’s really about political agenda.” Toward the end of the panel, the matter was brought up again, leading him to muse that he’d basically shot himself in the face by having made the comparison in the first place. Muttered executive producer Chris Chibnall, “I knew that was going to get us in trouble…”

Panelist who looked the least thrilled to be in attendance: Maura Tierney, “The Whole Truth,” ABC. I’m sure it was mostly because she wasn’t looking forward to people quizzing her about her health, but she looked perpetually like she was going to burst into this song:

Cable series with the least sense of history: “Mad Genius,” Fuse. Any music fan worth their salt would be intrigued by a show which, according to the network’s description, “delves into the minds of musicians, the eccentricities, the world view, the influences of some of the major artists in the world and connects them to their artistic contributions to the groundbreaking music that they create.” We’re sitting around thinking about the possibilities: Syd Barrett, Roky Erickson, Peter Green, Brian Wilson, and the like. Who does Fuse cite among the show’s subjects? Britney Spears and Li’l Wayne. Wow. Just…wow.

Most unintentionally off-color moment from a broadcast network panel: During the “$#*! My Dad Says” panel, executive producer Max Mutchnick had a moment of uncertainty about the proper verb to describe the process of sending out a message through Twitter and accidentally referred to “Dad” creator Justin Halpern’s “beautiful Twat.” Realizing his slip of the tongue, Mutchnick stammered, “I don’t know how you say it,” but not before William Shatner shook his head with mock dismay, saying, “That’s twisted.”

Later, Shatner used the phrase “people who Twit,” after which executive producer David Kohan smirked and countered, “I think it’s Twat.” A chagrined Mutchnick suggested that the proper verb was “Tweet.” Shatner snapped back, “Well, I know it isn’t ‘Twat’!”

Best use of a panelist’s absence: Peter Tolan. It’s not like his cohort Denis Leary was supposed to be there for the lunchtime “Rescue Me” session, but the fact that he wasn’t gave Tolan the opportunity to relish the solitude of the stage. “I’m so glad to be here by myself and not with Denis Leary,” he said, “because he is an attention hog, and the secondhand smoke, really, I’m lucky to be alive, frankly, at this point. It’s been seven seasons, and of course “The Job,” the show we did before, which was my idea, as was ‘Rescue Me.’ I am really lucky to be alive. I’m sure there are tumors just waiting to take me pretty much after this lunch.”

Most promising new cable program that I didn’t know much about before going into the tour: “Teen Wolf,” MTV. Turns out it’s being executive-produced by Jeff Davis, the man behind “Criminal Minds,” so suffice to say that it’s darker than the original film. Bonus: the pilot was directed by Russell Mulcahy, who’s had an affiliation with MTV since the day the network began…literally, since he directed this video:

Least promising new broadcast network program that I didn’t know anything about before going into the tour: “My Generation,” ABC. It always takes me forever to check out ABC’s new series, as I hate watching screeners on my computer (the network stopped sending out DVDs of its programs long ago), so I hadn’t investigated “My Generation.” Turns out it’s a look back at a high school class from 2000 and how they’ve changed since they graduated. As I said to a compatriot during the panel, “I’m pretty sure the only thing that’s going to make me want to tune into this show is if a killer starts picking off the twentysomethings one by one.” Mind you, I haven’t seen the pilot yet, but the trailer pretty well served to cement my theory.

Coolest anecdote(s) from a press scrum: Actually, it was less a scrum than an impromptu roundtable, but after PBS’s “Pioneers of Television” panel, my esteemed peer Marc Allan invited me to grab a chair and join the conversation he was having with Martin Landau, and others soon had their recorders out as well. It was Marc, however, who asked the two big-money questions.

First, Marc asked Landau if he had ever had the opportunity to meet Bela Lugosi, who he portrayed (and won an Oscar for doing so) in Tim Burton’s “Ed Wood.”

“No, I never met Lugosi,” replied Landau. “But I met Karloff…and had tea with him! I was doing some post-synching on a television show, and we both left our respective studios at the same time and met in the hall. At the time, Jack Nicholson was actually my student. Jack studied with me for three years, and Jack had just finished a picture for Roger Corman with Karloff. Jack wasn’t very good in it. He was much too contemporary. But, anyway, I saw Karloff in the hall, and we greeted each other. I said, ‘You just worked with a friend of mine.’ And he said, ‘And who might that be?’ And I said, ‘Jack Nicholson.’ And he said, ‘Oh, yes. Poor boy. Where are going now?’ I said, ‘Home.’ He said, ‘Would you like some tea?’ I said ‘yes,’ and we went to the commissary and had tea and little sandwiches, and I got to spend a little time with him.”

Then, as if psychic, Allan asked Landau about the one project I’d been chomping at the bit to hear his recollections about: “The Harlem Globetrotters on Gilligan’s Island.”

“I had a good time doing that!” said Landau, offering surprising enthusiasm as he reminisced about working with “Chick Hearn and a bunch of robots, noting that it was the last time he’d worked with ex-wife Barbara Bain, who’d been his co-star on “Mission: Impossible” and “Space: 1999.” “People say that it was the worst moment in my career,” he said, with a laugh, “but I actually had fun on that show. The first day I was on it, though, was the day that Reagan was shot, so when we got to the set, everyone was…well, you know. So I told about three or four jokes and loosened everyone up, and from that point on, we had a good time.”

Really, I could go on about the conversation for several more paragraphs, since the next topic of conversation was how he was offered the role of Mr. Spock on “Star Trek” before Leonard Nimoy. Suffice it to say that I hope to get a one-on-one with Mr. Landau one of these days…but if it never happens, sitting in on this one was still pretty damned cool.

Favorite one-on-one interview at a TCA function: Tom Selleck. I’d been trying to confirm or deny the possibility of talking to Tom about his new CBS series, “Blue Bloods,” but it was all very sketchy about how long he’d be at the CBS evening event. I therefore set up camp near the front door of the function, waiting for him to arrival. When he did, I followed behind him and his publicist, and once they reached their table, his publicist turned, saw my nametag and recognized my name, and waved me over to him. Tom smiled at me beneath his mustache and said, “No one will sit with me. Will you sit with me?” So I sat with him…and he was just as nice a guy as you’d want him to be.

Favorite one-on-one interview which took place elsewhere: Brad Meltzer. I’ve been a fan of Brad’s thrillers for several years, and when he made the jump into writing comic books, by God, I was right there with him. I’ve even traded the occasional E-mail with the guy. This, however, was the first time I’d ever actually met him. It was worth the wait.

Most intimidating one-on-one interview: Spike Lee. Spike seems like someone who could be a prickly pear if you don’t know what you’re talking about, so I blew off a concert by Vinyl Candy (sorry, guys) in order to make sure I’d seen his new HBO documentary, “If God Is Willing and Da Creek Don’t Rise,” before our conversation. Fortunately, it paid off: Spike was great.

Best party: CBS. These guys almost always take home the gold. Not only does lots of their talent show up, but they always hold them somewhere that you can actually move around without feeling like you’re bumping into someone or on the verge of knocking someone down.

Worst party: Sony. It was a tremendous turnout of talent, so much so that in another locale it might’ve ended up being cited as the best party, but it was so freaking packed that you could barely move and rarely hear anyone well enough to do a decent interview.

Party that I usually don’t enjoy but this time did: Fox. They like to use their “American Idol” money to rent the Santa Monta Pier for the night and let us and their talent go nuts with the food, the drinks, and the rides. Normally, I complain about how it’s not terribly conducive to doing interviews, what with the loud music and the noise of the rides. This time, my wife was there with me. I still didn’t do many interviews…but I did get to ride the Ferris Wheel with the woman I love. Yeah, yeah, we’re disgustingly cute. Get over it.

My 5 Favorite Cheap Thrills of the Tour:

1. Getting a hug from Jayma Mays of “Glee.” Yes, my wife was standing right there. (So was Jayma’s husband, Adam Campbell, for that matter.) But even my wife thinks she’s cute.
2. Talking to both David Cross and Bob Odenkirk on the same tour. Hopefully, there are “Mr. Show” fans out there who will appreciate this accomplishment as much as I did.
3. Telling Tom Hanks that I really loved “Mazes and Monsters” / Having Tom Hanks use me as a prop while telling a story (TIE). This was the third time I’d met my generation’s Jimmy Stewart, and each time I’d told myself that I was going to bring up the classic TV movie from early in his career, but when my fellow Bullz-Eye buddy Ross Ruediger broached the subject of “Splash!” and got five minutes worth of stories about working on the film, I decided that this was my time to shine. All I got for my trouble was a smirk, followed by a look that may or may not have been pity.

In retrospect, I probably should have just stuck with my Hanks encounter from earlier in the evening, when he’d been telling some story or other and, since I was closest to him, used me to illustrate how the person in his story kept poking someone in the chest. Anyone who tells you that I was considering getting a tattoo of the resulting bruise is a dirty liar. (That was just drunk talk.)
4. Bill Lawrence telling my wife that I’m awesome. I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve talked to Bill Lawrence on the phone and in person, but my wife had never had the pleasure. At the ABC party, however, she spotted him holding court and decided to approach his assistant just to see if she could slip in long enough to introduce herself. She hadn’t gotten past the words “my husband is Will” before she was informed that “we love Will” and quickly hustled over to Bill for introductions, where the good Mr. Lawrence echoed his assistant’s statements. I should clarify that it’s not the compliment itself that made for the cheap thrill but, rather, the fact that Bill Lawrence made my wife feel good about her lot in life. I mean, she’s married to a TV critic, fer crissakes. She needs all the reassurances she can get.
5. Having William Shatner abruptly end our interview by clapping me on the shoulder and saying, “Thanks for your time.” Ah, it wasn’t going that well, anyway. And, besides, who cares? Captain Kirk touched me!

Cast most likely to get me into trouble: “NCIS.” I don’t know what it is about Michael Weatherly and Pauley Perrette, but I always end up finding myself on the verge of breaking some rule or other when I’m around them.

With Michael, he loves to tell stories when he knows you’re not recording him, and they’re invariably filled with some tidbit or other where you’d feel guilty running them intact. As such, I can’t tell you about what happened when he gave Robert Wagner’s E-mail address to Roger Moore…but if you ever meet Michael, ask him about the time he and Jessica Alba met Elvis Costello and Peter O’Toole. It’s a good’un.

As for Pauley, it’s become a TCA tradition that we take a picture together whenever we see each other: she holds the camera in front of us and takes the picture herself, and heaven help anyone who tries to take it for us. Unfortunately, as I learned after my first tour of duty with the TCA, it’s a no-no for members of the organization to take pictures with the stars. Pauley knows this. She just doesn’t care. This time, she assured me, “It’s seven years bad luck if we don’t take one every tour!” I’m pretty sure she didn’t have any documentation to back this up, but she took the picture anyway. Seriously, the woman’s a force of nature. Fortunately, I think everyone in the TCA knows this about Pauley, so I think they’d probably see her as an exception to the rule…but, just in case, I’m keeping the picture to myself.

Most awesome visit to the set of a network show: “Friends.” Don’t get me wrong, visiting Wisteria Lane is cool whether you watch “Desperate Housewives” or not, and the intricacies of the “Parenthood” set were remarkable to behold, but the power of pure sentimentality trumped them both. No, it’s not where the show actually filmed, but it’s all of the original items, and they look exactly like they did when they originally filmed the show. What I’m saying to you is that I stood in the middle of Central Perk. It doesn’t get much better than that.

Most disappointing visit to the set of a network show: “Undercovers.” This new NBC series has a certain amount of potential, and in fairness, the sets – one of which is a working kitchen – did look pretty cool, but the fact that none of the cast nor the producers could be bothered to make it to our visit ultimately made it feel like a bust.

Most pleasant reminder that, once in awhile, you make enough of an impression on the people you interview on the phone that they actually still remember you when you meet them in person: A month or so ago, I interviewed Nate Torrence in conjunction with “She’s Out of Your League” hitting DVD, and when he mentioned that he was in the cast of ABC’s “Mr. Sunshine,” I said, “Well, then, I’ll look for you when I’m at the TCA tour.” Flash-forward to ABC’s post-panel party, where I see Nate and go up to introduce myself, but before I can finish reminding him who I am, he quickly lets me know that he needs no reminder. “I get up there for the panel,” he said, “and I’m, like, ‘No one is going to ask me anything. I’m just going to sit here.’ But then I go, ‘Hey, wait a minute, what about the guy from Bullz-Eye? I think he said he was going to be here! Maybe he’ll ask me a question!’” Of course, when he said this, I immediately felt awful that I hadn’t actually asked him a question…

Most unpleasant reminder that, no matter how much you’ve enjoyed someone’s work on television, they still see you as a journalist and therefore don’t really want to talk to you if they can help it: Chandler was always my favorite Friend, I really liked “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip,” and unlike some of my peers, I laughed pretty hard at the pilot for “Mr. Sunshine,” but I can’t say that I’m as thrilled with Matthew Perry as I used to be.

I tried to be as polite as possible while waiting to chat with Perry during the ABC party, but on two separate occasions, although he clearly knew I was loitering in his vicinity for that purpose (the recorder in my hand was, to my way of thinking, kind of a dead giveaway), he pointedly opted to continue conversations with co-stars and friends rather than acknowledge me. One of my peers stopped by during my lengthy loiter and told me that I had the patience of a saint to wait the guy out, but in the end, even Francis of Assisi would’ve given up on Perry: once he finished the conversation, he turned to try and leave without turning toward me. Before I could stop him, though, the writer standing next to me snared him, then kindly gestured in my direction and said, “I was waiting for you, but he’s been waiting even longer.” Perry endured questions from both of us for a few minutes, but then he said, “I’m going to walk away now.” And he did.

I know the guy’s dealt with plenty of these TCA parties during the years that he was part of the NBC family, but given that he’s not only the male lead in “Mr. Sunshine” but also the creator and one of the show’s writers, I really expected him to be more enthused about the chance to promote the series.

I should add, though, that my wife – simply by speaking the truth – ended up kind of getting the last laugh on Perry. At the Sony party, she was talking to Megyn Price (“Rules of Engagement”) when Perry came up and started talking to Pryce. My wife waited politely for Perry to finish, but when he did, he turned to my wife and, with a decidedly dejected look on his face, said, “I suppose you want to interview me.” She looked right back at him and said, “Oh, God, no!”

Admittedly, all she meant was that she was just a guest at the party and therefore wasn’t doing interviews with anyone, but I am assured that the look on Perry’s face was priceless nonetheless.

Most awesome live performance of the tour: Michael Feinstein jazzing it up and occasionally even kicking out the jams with his 17-piece band as part of a dinner-and-a-show performance to promote his upcoming three-part PBS miniseries, “Michael Feinstein’s American Songbook.” I’ve respected Feinstein’s work since I heard him cover “Both Sides Now” on an Elektra Records compilation entitled Rubaiyat, and somewhere around here I’m pretty sure I still have a copy of his Isn’t It Romantic album on cassette, so I figured I’d get a polite but somewhat easy-listening performance that would make for a nice wrap-up to the evening.

My bad.

My jaw was left on the floor by how much energy the man put into the seven songs he played for us, which began with “The Lady Is a Tramp” and ended with “For Once in My Life.” Suffice it to say that I became the proud owner of Feinstein’s The Sinatra Project the next time I visited a record store…which, as it happens, occurred only a few days later.

Best off-site visit that was in no way connected to the tour: Amoeba Records. I usually make a point of swinging by my favorite Hollywood record store whenever I make it into town, but my schedule in January didn’t lend itself to a visit, so it’d been a year since my last dig through Amoeba’s always-awesome bargain bins.

Unfortunately, when I arrived, I found that what would’ve otherwise been a pretty cool coincidence – Elijah Wood was doing a DJ set for the store – totally screwed up my fun, as they’d set up a barrier to keep people from getting too close to Elijah as well as to keep too many people from rushing the DJ booth…and it was right in front of the store’s fabled $1 bins. So if you happened to be there that day and heard a bearded and bespectacled gentleman grumbling, “Fuckin’ Frodo,” now you know why.

Best piece of swag: HBO’s “Boardwalk Empire” flask. I think this is actually the third flask I’ve gotten in the last year: The CW gave them out last summer with the “Melrose Place” reboot, possibly because I needed a lot of alcohol to make the show endurable, and then Fox sent one out in conjunction with “Family Guy” not terribly long ago. What made this one so special? It was all in the presentation. Everyone was presented with a copy of The Anti-Saloon League Yearbook 1920…and when you opened it, you found a flask-shaped hole carved into the pages which housed our gift. How awesome is that?

Worst trends of the tour:

1) Networks attempting to squeeze as many panels into one day as possible. In fairness, CBS and Fox were fantastic with their respective families of networks, dividing their presentations into two days. Not so NBC-Universal, who forced us to endure a single day of panels and even between-panel events in order to cover series from NBC, SyFy, USA, Oxygen, Bravo, and MSNBC. And as an FYI to the Discovery Networks, if you’ve got things scheduled so that, after two questions, the moderator has to say, “We’ve got time for one last question,” you’ve got things scheduled way too tightly.

2) Networks neglecting to include panels for existing shows. It makes sense, given the tight quarters on the schedule, but it’s no less disappointing. CBS gave us a “Big Bang Theory” panel, The CW offered “Gossip Girl,” and Fox gave us “Glee,” but for the most part, existing series were relegated to between-panel events in the lobby of the ballroom. Sure, it’s nice to have coffee with the cast of “Modern Family” in theory, but the end result is lots of scrums and limited opportunities for one-on-one questions. I’m not saying I’m the most gregarious when it comes to asking questions during the panels, but it sucks to not even have that chance.

3) Networks missing from the tour altogether. AMC made a major splash at Comic-Con with “The Walking Dead,” and, hey, fair enough, the show’s based on a comic book. Similarly, Matthew Weiner seems to be pretty pissed at the press right now, so that’d probably explain the lack of a “Mad Men” panel.” But given that other members of Rainbow Media family of networks were in attendance (IFC and WeTV), it felt like a slap across the face that we didn’t even get a state of the union address from an AMC exec, especially when they announced their new series, “The Killing,” a mere three days after the tour wrapped. And wherefore art thou, Turner? All of those new series on TBS, TNT, Cartoon Network, and the like, and we don’t get a single panel for any of them? I know Conan doesn’t really need more promo for his new show, but it sure seemed like an opportunity missed.

And, as ever, we wrap things up with a bitch session…

Most annoying moment of the tour: having my request for a one-on-one chat with Tony Danza declined because, as his personal rep purportedly said, “This isn’t his kind of interview.”

Now, granted, this came through channels rather than directly from the rep, and I can’t imagine that Tony Danza himself has anything to do with declining the interview, but that’s the reason that was cited in the E-mail from A&E, home of Danza’s new reality series, “Tony Danza: Teach.”

As someone who’s the son of a retired teacher and the husband of a woman who works with autistic students, I’m well aware of the importance of education and how students affect the lives of teachers just as much as teachers affect the lives of students, so I was immediately intrigued by the concept of the series. Additionally, one of my friends had once had dinner with Danza and had nothing but nice things to say about the guy. No surprise here: I put in for an interview.

Now, please understand that I’ve been turned down for more than a few interviews in my time, and I’ve come to accept the heartbreak of rejection when it comes to an actor’s busy schedule, even when it’s patently clear that “busy” translates into “he only talks to the bigger, better-known outlets, and, frankly, I’ve never even heard of your site.” In the end, it really all comes down to this: I’m someone who needs closure on things, and if a rep is going to tell me that their client is opting out of talking to me because “this isn’t his kind of interview,” then I don’t think it’s too much to ask why it isn’t his kind of interview. I mean, maybe it’s something I can change, y’know? So I asked. But I never got an answer.

Do you know why? If so, drop me a line…or, better yet, if you’re already that deep into the Danza camp, anyway, then go ahead and tell Tony that I’d still really like to talk to him. After hearing him talk during his panel, there’s absolutely no doubt in my mind that this teaching gig was a full-fledged life-changing experience for the guy. As such, I’d like to do whatever I can to help promote “Tony Danza: Teach”…and, yes, even after all of this whining, I do still think you should watch it when it premieres on A&E on October 1st.

“The Big Bang Theory”: The show is moving to Thursdays. “Certainly, it was difficult, but not in the sense that you don’t have complete faith and belief in the show,” said Tassler. “The time felt right. The show is certainly enjoying an extraordinary amount of support and love, and this was a great opportunity for us to really move it into a strategic place and open the night.”

“Survivor”: The new season of the popular reality series will find the castaways divided into Young vs. Old. The members of the La Flor Tribe will all be aged 30 or younger, while those in the Espada Tribe will all be 40 or older.

“Undercover Boss”: Four of the companies which will appear in the show’s second season have been revealed: NASCAR, DirecTV, Chiquita Brands, Inc., and Great Wolf Resorts.

“CSI: Crime Scene Investigation”: Justin Bieber will be playing a character in the season premiere, playing a character that is “quite different from his wholesome real-life persona.”

“CSI: Miami” and “CSI: NY” timeslot changes: “Going into this season, we had very strong development, we really wanted to get a number of those new dramas on the air, and both ‘Miami’ and ‘New York’ are still strong players for us, so we said, ‘Look, we can use them to improve the time periods they’re going into, as well as support new shows that they’re launching side by side with.’”

“Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior”: Janeane Garofalo has been added to the cast.

New gay characters: GLAAD will no doubt be pleased to hear that, according to Tassler, there are three on the horizon for the new season. “You’re going to meet Alicia’s brother in ‘The Good Wife,’ a gay character. We’re also going to be adding a new character to ‘Rules of Engagement.’ Jeff and Audrey’s surrogate will be a member of Jeff’s softball team, and she’s a lesbian. We’re also going to be recurring a character in ‘$#*! My Dad Says,’ the character Tim Bagley played.” I’m particularly happy to hear about that last one, mostly because the scenes between Bagley and William Shatner are arguably the funniest in the pilot.

After Tassler’s remarks and Q&A were completed, she evacuated the stage in order for the day’s show panels to begin, starting with…

“The Big Bang Theory”

At first glance, the fact that “The Big Bang Theory” is the only pre-existing CBS show to get its own panel on the network’s TCA day would lead one to deduce that it’s because it’s so popular. In reality, though, it’s much more likely that the series got the spotlight because they want to make sure it’s still a major player when it returns on Sept. 28th and shifts on the CBS schedule from Mondays to Thursdays. Ah, but who cares why they’re here? It’s just good to see the gang again. Johnny Galecki, Jim Parsons, Kaley Cuoco, Simon Helberg, and Kunal Nayyar were all in attendance, along with creators / executive producers Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady, and, as usual, they gave us some great, fun stuff.

Jim Parsons commented on his occasional difficulties in mastering the slight variations of his famous knock (which, for the record, was the idea of executive producer Lee Aronsohn), admitting, “It’s easy to get tripped up, and I have to do it a few times to figure out, ‘Well, where the hell is the rhythm of this new one?’”

Parsons and his co-stars also regaled the crowd with the story of filming the scene with Sheldon diving around in the ball pit.

“That was a blast,” said Parsons.

“Once they cleaned the balls, it was fun,” said Galecki. “They were filthy.”

“Every single one of those balls was Purell’d,” said Helberg.

“(Jim) came in from rehearsal from that,” said Cuoco, “and he’s looking at me, and I’m, like, ‘Have you showered today?’ It was like a film of black across his face.”

“It was awful,” admitted Parsons.

“Dirty balls,” Cuoco sighed.

“I washed my hands, and the sink was black water,” said Parsons. “Then I wiped my clean hands on a towel, and it would be damp, and I brushed it over my face, and there would be this swath of pink and gray.”

“And we had disinfectant spray for one another,” said Galecki.

“It was good for my hair, though,” said Parsons. “I realized that I need a drier product. I don’t need to use a gel or something.”

“Ball pits are kind of on the way out,” explained Prady. “They don’t really make them anymore. And we’re looking at the set, and we kept saying, ‘More balls!’ They said, ‘This is all the balls in Southern California!’”

“I think we emptied every bin at every Chuck E. Cheese’s in Los Angeles,” said Lorre.

Possible guest star in the new season: Steve Wozniak.
Definite guest star in the new season: Mayim Bialik.

When asked point blank if Sheldon would “finally get it on this season,” Parsons’ first reaction was to scoff and say, “Oh, come on.” Pressed to consider the possibility that he might get close, he admitted that he didn’t know but added, “I wouldn’t hold it past anybody at this point. I think I might’ve said ‘no’ for sure six months ago, but now…? I never thought we’d even stumble upon a female that communicated with, but we did that.”

“He’ll have a very specific relationship with Mayim Bialik,” said Lorre. “A unique relationship.”

Lorre’s dream guest star: Neil Gaiman.

“Neil deGrasse Tyson is a big fan, and he passed along a comment that he got on the Hayden Planetarium website, which was a suggestion as to how he might appear on the show,” said Prady. “He’s famous as the fellow who demoted Pluto from planet status…and, actually, that does sound kind of fun. There are some other things we want to do, but we’re just, at this point, talking to people, and it’s a matter of scheduling, so it’s a little too soon to talk about.”

Galecki and Cuoco are in agreement that the time was right for Leonard and Penny to break up.

“I thought it said natural to where they’re at in their lives right now,” said Galecki. “They have a whole lot to learn in the ways of love.”

“I think it was super realistic, actually,” said Cuoco. “I mean, relationships are up and down, and people get together, and they break up, and they’re not friends, and they’re friends. I mean, you know, this stuff happens all the time. So I think it actually was perfect timing…and you never know what’s going to happen with them.”

On a romance-related note, Melissa Rauch will be returning this season to reprise her role as Howard’s girlfriend, Bernadette.

Lorre admitted to being surprised when he got the news that the powers that be at CBS were moving the show to Thursday nights, but while not entirely thrilled with the move, he also doesn’t have a real problem with it, either.

“One assumes they’ve given it a lot of thought and that it’s a good thing for the show,” said Lorre. “Given where we are now after three seasons, I’d be crazy to argue with the choices that CBS has made along the way because it’s been…just look at this. This is wonderful. So if they think this is a good call, then that’s great. Our job is to make a good show. It’s not to program the show. You know, we grow the crops. We don’t have the truck that brings it to market. With the time slot moved to 8:00 on Thursday night, it’s almost like a re-launch of the show, establishing it. It feels like a do-over in a way, so we are really doing everything we can to make it everything we believe it should be.”

“Mike & Molly”

I don’t know if you’ve seen the previews for this new sitcom from the Chuck Lorre camp, but it’s about a man and a woman who cross paths at an Overeaters Anonymous meeting and fall for each other. Having seen the pilot, I’ll be the first to stand up and applaud the instant chemistry between the two leads, Melissa McCarthy and Billy Gardell, but, man, they’ve really got to cut back on the fat jokes. This should be a sitcom about a cute couple, with the weight class of the stars something that’s acknowledged but not constantly dwelled upon.

When someone suggested to Lorre that he might be tackling a politically incorrect subject with the series, he claimed otherwise.

“It’s about real people with real issues trying to have a relationship,” said Lorre. “Television would normally have cast Chris O’Donnell and Courteney Cox as the people who meet at Overeaters Anonymous, but in this case we had the courage and, I think, the wisdom to just cast people that are just…you know, they’re trying to make their lives better and find someone that they can love and be loved by. It may be odd for television, but I hope it’s reflective of some kind of reality that people will experience.”

“I think it’s good just to have something a little more realistic so people aren’t always, like, ‘Oh, I could never be that perfect,’” said McCarthy. “Guess what? No one is, except in this little set somewhere in Hollywood. I think anytime a show kind of bridges into the real world…I don’t know, I think it just takes the pressure off some people, so maybe subconsciously it will make people take it a little easy on themselves.”

When asked if he was comfortable with his weight or if he felt he should lose a few pounds for health reasons, Gardell couldn’t resist first mentioning that he actually has a better cholesterol level than his wife, who’s smaller than he is.

“Of course, I think I’d like to lose some weight,” he said. “I mean, everybody’d like to be a little bit better than they are, you know, but everybody has a different tick, man. Mine just happens to be pizza.”

When there was a moment’s silence from the audience, Gardell said, “It’s okay, you can laugh at that. I’ve got a mirror. Lighten up.”

Continuing, Gardell explained that wanting to lose weight doesn’t always make it easy to do so. “When you’re not great at coping with all your emotions, sometimes you push ’em down with a piece of cake. That’s just how it works. Some people do it with booze. Some people do it with gambling. Some people do it with other things, and that is a part of this. But make no mistake. This is a love story. And the great thing about this love story is, this is a show people can look at and go, ‘You know what? I’m like that,’ or ‘I look better than that,’ instead of looking at the show and going, ‘God, I’m never gonna look like that.’”

Gardell admitted that he’s had his troubles getting good parts in Hollywood because of his weight. “I don’t know how your experience has been,” he said to McCarthy, “but when you’re a fat guy in Hollywood, you’re the bad guy, the cop, or the neighbor. That’s what you’re doing. ‘Bring them to me!’ ‘You kids get out of here!’ ‘She’s going to kill us both!’ That’s what you’re doing. To be at this weight and this age in Hollywood and to be one of the leads of a show of this caliber, with this team…? I’m absolutely humbled. It’s like I got the Willy Wonka ticket, you know? ‘Run, Charlie! Run home as fast as you can!’ That’s how I feel. I can’t wait to go to work. This is unbelievable, and…I think it has a lot to do with my age, too. I’m 40. You know, if I’d have got this at 20, I wouldn’t have been able to handle this. I’m looking so forward to this. Man, I’ve been a road comic for 20 years. I’m not in a Holiday Inn this weekend. You understand? I’m excited.”

McCarthy agreed wholeheartedly with Gardell’s sentiments. “I’m thrilled,” she said. “I always think back to when I was 22 in New York, and I was somewhere between a size four and a size six, and she said, ‘First of all, you’re never going to work at that weight.’ I wish I remembered the agent’s name. I would love to call her in her studio right now and tell her, ‘Oh, yeah?’ I just feel like I got hit with the lucky stick.”

“The Talk”

Fair warning: I’m not going to spend a heck of a lot of time discussing this new CBS daytime talk show. I’ll admit that I’m intrigued by the blend of individuals they’ve selected to serve as the six (!) hosts of the show – Julie Chen, Leah Remini, Sara Gilbert, Sharon Osbourne, Holly Robinson Peete, and Marissa Jaret Winokur – but I can’t tell you that it’s something I’m chomping at the bit to watch, and I rather expect that the majority of Bullz-Eye’s predominantly-male readership will probably feel the same way.

The idea for the series – all of the hosts are mothers – came from Gilbert, who does double duty as one of the show’s executive producers. “I was a new mom when I thought of it,” she explained. “I was feeling overwhelmed. Was I giving the baby enough? Was I giving my son enough attention? And literally, I started going to this mom group, and I thought, ‘Wow, people need this kind of support,’ and it was just sort of like a light bulb. I thought, ‘What if there were a show where a bunch of women sat together and talked about the world through that perspective?’”

So there you go. That’s what the show is. I don’t know that anything else really needs to be said.

Oh, okay, one more thing: the most entertaining part of the panel came when someone asked the ladies to reveal the most annoying pet peeve they have about their significant other, so I’ll close by sharing their answers with you.

Marissa Jaret Winokur – “My husband is just a procrastinator. Basically, I’m the one who’s, like, ‘I want to buy the carpet. Let’s buy the carpet,’ and he’d rather sit around and go through 20 different stores and find the perfect carpet.”

Holly Robinson Peete – “He’s a really bad snorer. I mean, he just got really bad. I tried to put on one of those Breathe Right strips in his sleep. He doesn’t want to wear them. So picture me sort of straddled over him trying to press it down. And I ran out of his size, so I had to go to the kids and get the small size. I put one on each nostril, and it just didn’t work. You know, that’s something that we would be talking about if we were on the air this morning and the New York Times had a story about one in four couples are sleeping in separate bedrooms, and I’m not lying. Last night, I was thinking about, you know, it might be time. 15 years, I love the man, but we are on different schedules. I had to get up early this morning. He’s snoring. It doesn’t work for me. I think it’s by year 2015 the New York Times said something about 60 percent of houses are going to have double masters. I’m okay with this.”

Sharon Osbourne – “There is nothing. He’s perfect. Let me tell you something: he doesn’t even know I am doing this show. I am here today, and he thinks I’ve gone to ‘America’s Got Talent.’ He has no idea. He gives me all the freedom in the world that I want. He’s just a perfect partner for me. He does his thing. I do mine. We have the best family. We adore each other. You know, yeah, my husband snores. He farts. He pisses on the seat. On the toilet seat, that is. But, hey, that’s life. That’s what we all do. It doesn’t annoy me. It would annoy me if he was sleeping with a room full of women. That would annoy me. But if he throws food on the floor and he’s messy, it doesn’t bother me. So he’s perfect.”

Sara Gilbert – “Ali is much taller than I am. So if we get dressed, I just think that clothes always look better on her, and I think that that can be kind of annoying.”

Julie Chen – “When I got married, I said to my husband, ‘One of the reasons that I know this is going to work is because you’re the first person in my life who doesn’t annoy me,’ and when someone gets on my nerves, there’s very little turning back, if at all. But…my baby is ten months old, and my husband works very hard. Quite often he leaves in the morning when the baby is just waking up or is still sleeping, so he doesn’t have a lot of time to bond with the baby. We put the baby down hopefully by 7:00, and he doesn’t always make it home by 7:00, but when he does make it home, it doesn’t matter if we just put him down, he wants to go look at the baby. And to make sure that everything is okay, I’ll go with him, and if we can see him breathing, I’m like, ‘Okay, don’t touch him.’ And one day we went in…and he still does this now…and we could see the baby, he moved around, and he touched him. And I said, ‘What are you doing?’ And the baby woke up. I said, ‘What are you touching him for?’ He’s like, ‘That’s how we connect.’ I said, ‘You’re not connecting. You just woke him up. You pissed him off!’ But he has this thing. Even though I made him promise me, ‘If you see him breathing, don’t touch him,’ he still touches him!”

Leah Remini – “There’s so many things, but for me the most annoying thing would be that for every holiday or every birthday, I go, ‘What do you want?’ ‘Sex.’ ‘I have a headache.’ ‘What can I get you?’ ‘Sex.’ It’s like that’s all that’s on his mind. Everything that he does like on a daily basis that’s sweet is to have sex. And I guess that’s the most annoying thing to me. I guess I should be happy that my husband wants to have sex with me. But when you know that everything he does is because of that, you’re like, ‘Just stop. It’s not going to happen tonight. Just be you.'”

Hawaii Five-O

Although “Hawaii Five-O” is a reboot of the classic CBS series that ran for 12 seasons, neither Alex O’Loughlin nor Scott Caan – who play Steve McGarrett and Danny “Danno” Williams, respectively – have gone out of their way to revisit the original in order to get inspiration on how to play their parts.

“I purposely didn’t go back and look at too much of the old show,” said Caan. “I wanted to start fresh, and I didn’t want to have any old ideas, so, no, I didn’t do any of that.”

O’Loughlin remembers the old show from his childhood, but he’s extremely conscious of how far things have come since then.

“There’s been a lot of changes in television and in the way we act stylistically and with technology and with what we can do with the money that we have with special effects and stunts and all the rest of it,” said O’Loughlin. “So it’s not a remake. We’re not kind of picking up where they left off. It’s a reboot, and the characters are very different. My character, Steve McGarrett, in the old show, you didn’t know much about the character that Jack Lord played, whereas in the pilot on our new show, you learn a lot about my Steve McGarrett. I didn’t look to that to make decisions. I just did my character work based on the script that these guys wrote.”

As for the show’s chances of success, it’s clear that O’Loughlin is pretty well putting all of his remaining eggs in this basket.

“I don’t want to take anything away from the other shows I’ve done,” he said. “I’ve worked with some incredible people and some wonderful showrunners and…well, ‘Moonlight,’ I don’t know if I ever met the showrunners. There were about 17 of them. But the other shows were great in their own ways. The thing is, there’s a reason things either work or don’t work in television, and I don’t know what the answer is. I just sort of keep blundering along to the next thing and hoping. But the team behind this, the two men here who are at the helm of this show, Peter (Lenkov) and Alex (Kurtzman), and the writing staff that we have, everyone feels so capable. I read the pilot, I did the pilot, and I saw what they did with it, and…there’s something special about it. So, I mean, if this one doesn’t go, I’m completely bewildered. I have no idea how television works at all.”

The Defenders

First of all, if you’re old enough to remember the original “Defenders” series with E.G. Marshall and Robert Reed, I hate to disappoint you, but this “Defenders,” while also about a pair of attorneys, is in no way connected to it. Then again, maybe it isn’t a disappointment. I guess it really all depends on how you feel about Jim Belushi and Jerry O’Connell.

As it happens, the show was originally going to be a reality series based on a pair of real-life Las Vegas attorneys, but although it eventually evolved into a dramatic series, Belushi and O’Connell still ended up meeting with their real-world counterparts, Michael Cristalli and Marc Saggese, in order to get some insight into their characters.

“They’re great,” said Belushi. “We hang out with these guys. They were on the set the whole time. We went to Piero’s in Vegas and drank those big martinis. They can hold their liquor, these guys.”

“They’re fascinating,” said O’Connell. “And from a professional standpoint, they represent a lot of people that I’m not even sure public defenders would represent.”

“There was one case where a guy goes into a liquor store, holds up the liquor store, ‘Give me all your money,'” said Belushi. “The guy gives him all the money, and the guy says, ‘Now, give me that handle of vodka, that Johnnie Walker scotch, and that Jack Daniels.’ And the guy said, “Oh, sir, I’m sorry. I can’t give you the alcohol.’ And he said, ‘No, give me the alcohol. I want it.’ He says, ‘No, no. It’s obvious you’re underage.’ And the guy goes, ‘I am not underage.’ ‘No, sir, it’s obvious. I’ll get in a lot of trouble with the state. They’ll lose their license here.’ He goes, ‘I am not underage!’ And he pulls out his ID. I mean, they get some really stupid people…”

Despite being set in Vegas, much of “The Defenders” is actually filmed in California…not that the show’s stars are so terribly heartbroken about that.

“My relationship with Vegas has switched from being a person going to enjoy the weekend to an employee of Vegas: I have a band, and I do a lot of corporate work with my band in Vegas,” said Belushi. “It changes the whole chemistry of the town. So what I do is I go there, and I perform with my band and have a nice dinner and play roulette for 20 minutes and go home. I’m kind of a boring guy.”

“I used to go to Vegas with about 20 or 30 friends, and we’d share one hotel room,” said O’Connell. “There would be 30 of us sharing two single beds. So that’s how I remember Vegas, but now that I’m married, look, I go there with my wife. A lot of shopping is done. To be honest, my credit card maxed out the last time we went there. I had a call, and I’m glad it maxed out, because then the bleeding stopped at some point. But, really, for my wife and I, we left the kids with my parents when we worked up there for close to a week when we did ‘The Defenders’ thing. We saw shows. The dining is great. It’s just a really fun grownup experience…and I don’t have to share a room with 20 other male friends and get passed-out drunk.”

Blue Bloods

Tom Selleck certainly hasn’t been hurting for work over the past several years, what with the success of his “Jesse Stone” series of films for CBS, so it’s a little surprising to see him make the decision to settle into a regular series role. Given that he’s done so, however, it isn’t surprising to find that the resulting program – “Blue Bloods” – is a top-notch drama. Indeed, when asked what brought him back to series television, he admitted that there were two reasons: 1) the show was good, and 2) it was an ensemble piece that would require talented actors to fill the parts.

“Having done a lead, as I did in ‘Magnum, PI,’ I was in every shot,” said Selleck. “And I wasn’t complaining, but it’s a tough road. And ‘Magnum’ was never canceled: I kind of left it after eight years because I was tired from it, not tired of

Donnie Wahlberg, who co-stars as Selleck’s son in the series (it’s about a family filled with cops and law-enforcement types), was also impressed by the ensemble nature of the show, particularly during the family-dinner scene in the pilot episode.

“A lot of people try procedural shows – there are many successful procedurals – and some people try character-driven shows,” said Wahlberg. “And a lot of times when people try to do both, they don’t really work because there’s not a sort of a consistent element that ties the two together. I don’t know if it was by design, but the dinner scene (in the pilot) almost serves as that. It’s really a place where the work and the procedural stuff comes into the character stuff directly, and you see how everyone is connected. Tom plays the chief of police, and I play his son, who is a detective, and if I’m on a major case, he’s going to deal with it. So all the characters ultimately are intertwined somehow, so it makes it much easier. If one was a baseball player and one was a fireman and one was a doctor, it would be probably difficult to follow all the storylines. But we all work in the same thing. We all work within the law to uphold the law.”

By the way, if you’re wondering, Selleck’s role on “Blue Bloods” will not prevent him from making further “Jesse Stone” films…indeed, that was one thing he made sure to confirm before he ever took on the series…and if the reason you aren’t wondering is because you think those films are for old folks, well, Mr. Selleck would just like to point out that “Jesse Stone: No Remorse” is, as of this writing, #2 in video sales, behind only the “Clash of the Titans” remake.

“I don’t see any conflicts in the two guys because they’re so different,” said Selleck, “but it’s my job to make these two characters, I think, different enough where the audience enjoys both. I hope people want to keep watching him because I love playing that guy, enough to make sure I could do him if I took this role.”

$#*! My Dad Says

All hail the Shatman…if not necessarily his new series. Despite being based on a consistently hilarious Twitter feed by Justin Halpern, what we’ve seen of the show thus far – which is, to be fair, a pilot which has since had one of its characters recast and one of its major plotlines dropped – has in no way lived up to its source material. Still, it’s William Shatner, so I’m still going to give it a chance and see if it manages to get any better.

In regards to the changes that are taking place with the series, executive producer David Kohan said, “”You know, it really came down to a question of…we feel like we have a great concept and a great brand and a great star, and we just wanted it to be perfect. It just came down to the question of, ‘How do we make this as good as it can possibly be?’ The character (of Henry) isn’t going to be changing that much except inasmuch as that there this kind of alchemy that goes on. You cast an actor, and the role necessarily changes because the person inhabiting that character changes. And you end up writing to who that actor is to a certain degree, but the dynamic also changes.”

“We’re telling the same story, and all of the things that we thought were great about the pilot that we first shot will be in the second take,” said executive producer Max Mutchnick. “The same team is in place. Jim Burrows will be directing. And we just kind of…we’re streamlining the first paths of the pilot, and this love story that we had threaded into the first pilot, we’ve taken out because we saw that there was so much fun in just writing this buddy-buddy comedy. At least that’s the way Henry sees it. So that’s what we’re going for.”

For his part, Shatner seems beside himself with excitement about doing the show, even though he admits that he wasn’t familiar with the Twitter feed that inspires it when he got the pitch. Instead, it was the creative team behind the series that caught his eye. ” I was aware of the limitless talents that were attached to the whole thing, and the people that are connected with this show are the top-talented people in the business,” he said. “I didn’t want to do another series, but I wanted to be connected with these talented people.”

Shatner was also intrigued by the opportunity to play a part that is – relatively speaking – somewhat low-key. “I’m trying to get another dynamic as an actor and make a character that comes from a different place,” he said. “There’s a stillness, and yet there’s an anger, a passion, perhaps better than anger, that’s inside that we don’t yet know. We’re all fumbling for what this character is because the character emerges out of the writer’s imagination. Then I flesh that out, and exactly what the facets are will come about as we do it. And it won’t become known to any of us until several shows go by as to what exactly it is.”

In addition, Shatner admitted that he has been attempting to capture the warmth of Halpern’s father that, while often sometimes hard to find in the Tweets, is evident when one reads the book based on Halpern’s life and times with his father.
“To sustain a character like that over weeks to make it palatable so people will watch and learn to love the character even through his idiosyncrasies, you’ve got to be careful that you are not overbearing, overwhelming people. And so I’m sure that was a writing choice, although we never discussed it as specifically as we are now. But it was certainly an acting choice, realizing this isn’t just one moment. We are aiming at wanting all of you to listen in every week, to look in every week and see the evolution of this relationship between the sons and the father, and to condemn hardly all the time is unpalatable.”

The best moment of the panel came when the topic of the show’s title came into play. Mr. Shatner, it seems, is growing more than a little bit tired of the whole controversy.

“Do you know what I wish?” he asked. “I wish they would call it ‘Shit.’ What’s wrong with ‘Shit’? I’ve got grandchildren. I brought up three girls. They’ve all got kids. Okay? You say ‘boopy doo-doo, you’ve got to make poo-poo. Come on, make poo-poo in the toilet.’ Eventually, ‘poo-poo’ becomes ‘shit.’ ‘Go take a shit, and you’ll feel better.’ You say that to your kids. The word ‘shit’ is around us. It isn’t a terrible term. It’s a natural function. Why are we pussyfooting?”

And that, my friends, is why William Shatner is a legend.

MONDAY

8 – 8:30 PM: How I Met Your Mother

8:30 – 9 PM: Rules of Engagement

9 – 9:30 PM: Two and a Half Men

9:30 – 10 PM: Mike & Molly: a comedy from Chuck Lorre (“Two and a Half Men,” and “The Big Bang Theory”) about a working class Chicago couple who find love at an Overeaters Anonymous meeting. Officer Mike Biggs (Billy Gardell) is a good-hearted cop who sincerely wants to lose weight. Mike’s partner, Officer Carl McMillan (Reno Wilson), is a thin, fast-talking wise-guy, who despite his teasing encourages Mike on his road to slimness and romance. While speaking at an O.A. meeting, Mike meets Molly Flynn (Melissa McCarthy), an instantly likeable fourth-grade teacher with a healthy sense of humor about her curves.

For Molly, focusing on smart choices isn’t easy because she lives with her sexy older sister, Victoria (Katy Mixon), and their mother, Joyce (Swoosie Kurtz), both of whom flaunt their healthy appetites and slender figures. Mike also faces temptation at the diner he and Carl frequent, where they’ve become friends with the Senegalese waiter, Samuel (Nyambi Nyambi), who finds trying to eat less a foreign concept. For Mike and Molly, thanks to their mutual love of pie and the desire to resist it, finding each other may have been worth the “weight.” Chuck Lorre and Mark Roberts are executive producers.

10 – 11 PM: Hawaii Five-0: a contemporary take on the classic series about a new elite federalized task force whose mission is to wipe out the crime that washes up on the Islands’ sun-drenched beaches. Detective Steve McGarrett (Alex O’Loughlin), a decorated Naval officer turned cop, returns to Oahu to investigate his father’s murder and stays after Hawaii’s governor persuades him to head up the new team: his rules, her backing, no red tape and full blanket immunity to hunt down the biggest “game” in town.

Joining McGarrett is Detective Danny “Danno” Williams (Scott Caan), a newly relocated ex-New Jersey cop who prefers skyscrapers to the coastline but is committed to keeping the Islands safe for his 8-year-old daughter; and Chin Ho Kelly (Daniel Dae Kim), an ex-Honolulu Police Detective wrongly accused of corruption and relegated to a federal security patrol, who is also a former protégé of McGarrett’s father. Chin’s cousin, Kono (Grace Park), is a beautiful and fearless native, fresh out of the academy and eager to establish herself among the department’s elite. McGarrett vows to bring closure to his father’s case while the state’s brash new FIVE-0 unit, who may spar and jest among themselves, is determined to eliminate the seedy elements from the 50th state. Peter Lenkov, Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci are executive producers.

TUESDAY

8 – 9 PM: NCIS

9 – 10 PM: NCIS: Los Angeles

10 – 11 PM: The Good Wife

WEDNESDAY

8 – 9 PM: Survivor

9 – 10 PM: Criminal Minds

10 – 11 PM: The Defenders: Jim Belushi and Jerry O’Connell star in a comedic drama about two colorful Las Vegas defense attorneys who go all-in when it comes to representing their clients. Nick and Pete are the local go-to guys with an eclectic client list who are still looking to hit their own jackpot. Leading the law firm of Morelli & Kaczmarek are Nick Morelli (Belushi), an earnest, hard-charging attorney who represents his clients to the best of his ability, no matter how big or small the case, and his partner, Pete Kaczmarek (O’Connell), whose passion for the law is matched only by his love of fast cars, beautiful women and expensive clothes.

Joining them in their growing law practice is new associate Lisa Tyler (Jurnee Smollett), an enthusiastic young attorney looking to put her exotic dancing days behind her; and their young assistant, Sophie (Tanya Fischer), a spunky and sweet ingénue who is eager to please her bosses. As Lady Luck shines on their legal careers, the partners have their hands full when it comes to their personal lives. While Pete is busy cruising the Vegas Strip for his latest romantic conquest, Nick is focused on repairing his fractured marriage to his estranged wife, Jessica (Gillian Vigman), while remaining present in the life of their young son. No matter the offense, Nick and Pete aim to prove that when the stakes are high they’re willing to bet the house on the clients they defend in Sin City. Carol Mendelsohn, Niels Mueller and Kevin Kennedy, Joe and Harry Gantz, and Davis Guggenheim are the executive producers.

THURSDAY

8 – 8:30 PM: The Big Bang Theory

8:30 – 9 PM: $#*! My Dad Says

Based on the popular Twitter feed by Justin Halpern, this comedy stars Emmy Award winner William Shatner as Ed Goodson, a forthright and opinionated dad who relishes expressing his unsolicited and often wildly politically incorrect observations to anyone within earshot. Nobody is immune from Ed’s rants, including his sons, Henry, a struggling writer-turned-unpaid blogger; and Vince (Will Sasso), the meek half of his husband/wife real estate duo with domineering Kathleen (Nicole Sullivan). When Henry finds he can no longer afford to pay rent to his pretty roommate — and secret admirer — Sam (Stephanie Lemelin), Ed reveals a soft spot and invites Henry to move in with him. Henry agrees, knowing that the verbal assault will not abate and now there will be no escape. Describing their father/son relationship is tricky – but Ed will easily come up with a few choice words. Emmy Award winners David Kohan and Max Mutchnick are executive producers. Emmy Award winner James Burrows directed.

9 -10 PM: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

10 – 11 PM: The Mentalist

FRIDAY

8 – 9 PM: Medium

9 – 10 PM: CSI: NY

10 – 11 PM: Blue Bloods: a drama about a multi-generational family of cops dedicated to New York City law enforcement. Frank Reagan (Tom Selleck) is the New York Chief of Police and patriarch of the Reagan brood, which he heads as diplomatically as he does the force, even when dealing with the politics that plagued his unapologetically bold father, Henry (Len Cariou), during his stint as Chief. A source of pride and concern for Frank is his eldest son Danny (Donnie Wahlberg), a seasoned detective, family man and Iraqi War vet who on occasion uses dubious tactics to solve cases.

The sole Reagan woman in the family, Erin (Bridget Moynahan), is a N.Y. Assistant D.A. and newly single parent, who also serves as the legal compass for her siblings and father. Jamie (Will Estes) is the youngest Reagan, fresh out of Harvard Law and the family’s “golden boy.” However, unable to deny the family tradition, Jamie decided to give up a lucrative future in law and is now a newly minted cop, a career change seemingly supported by his beautiful girlfriend, Sydney Davenport (Dylan Moore), a first year lawyer. Jamie’s life takes an abrupt turn, however, when he’s asked to become part of a clandestine police investigation even his father knows nothing about, and one that could impact the family’s legacy. Emmy Award winners Mitchell Burgess, Robin Green and Leonard Goldberg are executive producers.

SATURDAY

8 – 10 PM: Crimetime Saturday

10 – 11 PM: 48 Hours Mystery

SUNDAY

7 – 8 PM: 60 Minutes

8 – 9 PM: The Amazing Race

9 – 10 PM: Undercover Boss

10 – 11 PM: CSI: Miami

Canceled:

* Accidentally on Purpose
* Cold Case
* Gary Unmarried
* Ghost Whisperer
* Miami Medical
* The New Adventures of Old Christine
* Numb3rs

New at midseason:

* Still-untitled Criminal Minds spin-off: Academy Award-winner Forest Whitaker stars in a drama about an elite team of agents within the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit who use unconventional methods of investigation and aggressive tactics to capture the nation’s most nefarious criminals. Unit chief Special Agent Sam Cooper (Whitaker) is a mentally and physically fierce natural leader who is not afraid to put his career on the line in order to stand by his convictions.

Cooper strives to avoid political bureaucracy and has handpicked an eclectic group of profilers to work outside the confines of Quantico: Former British Special Forces soldier Mick Rawson (Matt Ryan), confident and handsome, works as a highly-skilled marksman with an undiluted eye for rooting out evil; John “Prophet” Sims (Michael Kelly), a former convict with a street-smart edge and a calm, Zen-like presence, who is determined to make amends for past sins; and Gina LaSalle (Beau Garrett), an attractive, tough agent armed with a cunning sense of perception. This exceptional group of FBI operatives is strong in their beliefs and steadfast in their mission to bring the country’s most dangerous criminals to justice. Chris Mundy, Edward Allen Bernero, Mark Gordon and Deborah Spera are executive producers.