Warner Archives’ long-awaited DVD of Robert Altman’s rarely seen 1971 follow-up to his “MASH” breakthrough is an example of some of the best, but a lot more of the worst, of the great director’s filmmaking approach. Bespectacled Bud Cort (“Harold and Maude”) stars in the title role as a geeky but confident youth building a human-powered flying machine in a fallout shelter at the then new Houston Astrodome, looked over by a mysterious goddess-like earth mother/protector (Sally Kellerman). Meanwhile, assorted right-wingers in Brewster’s sphere are dying under never fully described or explained circumstances, including witchy Margaret Hamilton (“The Wizard of Oz”), complete with ruby slippers, and unrecognizable Stacey Keach under an enormous amount of age make-up as a greed-obsessed millionaire. A tough, plays-by-his-own rules San Francisco cop named Frank Shaft (Altman favorite Michael Murphy) is working the case, but the only thing connecting the deaths is the presence of bird feces on the corpses — which is, I guess, supposed to be hilarious and also meaningful. Meanwhile, the seemingly sex-negative Brewster bumps into a girl with a talent for wacky black comedy car chases (Houston-bred Shelley Duvall in her first film role). Altman discarded the original screenplay by Doran William Cannon, who wrote the infamous “Skidoo,” and so the writer can’t be blamed for the narration featuring Rene Auberjonois as a possibly half-bird ornithologist. It’s not all torture. The final few minutes find their way to a bit of actual movie poetry beneath the skylight of the Astrodome, but this bird doesn’t stay airborne for long.

Click to buy “Brewster McCloud”

After that, it was back to the hotel to get ready for the TCA Awards, an evening which always proves to be one of the most enjoyable evenings of the tour. It’s the opportunity for the members of the organization to pay tribute to our favorite programs and performances of the previous year, and it’s also a chance for us to interact with the individuals responsible, but we do so with our tape recorders put away for the evening. There’s no red carpet. There’s no video document of the proceedings. It’s just us, the stars, and the night…or does that sound too pretentious? Yeah, it probably does, especially when you’re talking about a night that’s hosted by Dax Shepherd.

Given that the first two TCA Awards ceremonies that I attended were hosted by John Oliver (“The Daily Show”) and the Smothers Brothers, respectively, you’d think that Dax Shepherd would feel like a step down…but then you factor in how awful Chelsea Handler was as last year’s host, and darned if Dax doesn’t seem like a decent choice. Indeed, he proved to be extremely funny, much funnier than I think a lot of us were expecting him to be. He kicked things off by pretending he was addressing a group of HerbalLife salespeople, claimed that he was only hosting because Dog the Bounty Hunter dropped out, then acknowledged he was a little hurt by the fact that just about every review of “Parenthood” that mentioned his performance invariably began with some semblance of the phrase, “You’re never going to believe this, but he’s actually pretty good.” There was also a funny story about how he’s a god at CostCo, thanks to having co-starred in “Employee of the Month” with Dane Cook, and he did a spot-on impression of Owen Wilson calling his brother Luke and mocking him for his telephone commercials. Really, the only disappointing thing about Dax’s appearance was that I didn’t realize he’d brought his fiancee, Kristen Bell, until after she’d already gone. DAMN!

From there, we entered the awards portion of the evening.

PROGRAM OF THE YEAR: “Glee” (FOX)
OUTSTANDING NEW PROGRAM: “Glee” (FOX).
INDIVIDUAL ACHIEVEMENT IN COMEDY: Jane Lynch, “Glee” (FOX).

Alas, Jane Lynch was suffering from laryngitis and was unable to attend, but Ryan Murphy and Ian Brennan accepted the award in her stead, offering as solace a list of four things we’ll hear Sue Sylvester say in Season 2.

4. “A female football coach is like a male nurse, Will: it’s a sin against nature.”
3. “I secretly hope you’re in the middle of a midlife crisis, William, as that means you’re halfway to an early death, affording me a blissful demented convalescence spent peeing on your grave.”
2. “Don’t go soft on me, Will. I realize you’re mourning the loss of that bony little redhead you’re in love with, and I understand. It’s not just a loss for you. As she appears to be the link between early hominids and man, it’s also a loss for science.”
1. “Should’ve taken the poop cookies, Will.”

OUTSTANDING ACHIEVEMENT IN COMEDY: “Modern Family” (ABC).

Steve Levitan accepted his award by admitting that he’d written his speech last week and hadn’t had a chance to rewrite it. That would explain the reference to Steve McPherson.

OUTSTANDING ACHIEVEMENT IN DRAMA: TIE – “Lost” (ABC) and “Breaking Bad” (AMC).

Vince Gilligan, God bless him, gave a heartfelt speech wherein he thanked us for all of our praise. Damon Lindelof, however, took a slightly different tactic, offering up some of his favorite Tweets that he received in the wake of the final episode of “Lost.”

* “My very first tweet! I started this account just to let you know how disappointed I am in you!”

* “Has anyone accused you of being an emotional terrorist yet? And research these words: closure and actual explanations.”

* “Hey, douche! Instead of backpacking in Europe or whatever the fuck you’re doing, how about you just give me six years of my life back?”

* “Please don’t ruin Star Trek by ending it in Klingon purgatory.”

* “‘You’re a dirty liar. You never knew, you made it all up, you betrayed us all. You betrayed me and I hope you rot, motherfucker.’ And that was from Mr. J.J. Abrams!”

INDIVIDUAL ACHIEVEMENT IN DRAMA: Julianna Margulies, “The Good Wife” (CBS)

Margulies wasn’t able to attend, due to filming commitments, but she did send a video thank-you, though it received a lot of probably unintended laughs when it ended with her cutting her eyes to the side, which looked for all the world as if she was about to say, “Are we done with this fucking thing now?” But she probably wasn’t.

OUTSTANDING ACHIEVEMENT IN NEWS & INFORMATION: “Life” (Discovery)

OUTSTANDING ACHIEVEMENT IN YOUTH PROGRAMMING: “Yo Gabba Gabba” (NICK JR.)

Best. Acceptance. EVER.

OUTSTANDING ACHIEVEMENT IN MOVIES, MINISERIES & SPECIALS: “The Pacific” (HBO)

Executive producer Tom Hanks took the stage, acknowledged the strange creatures who’d taken the stage immediately before him, and declared, “This is the last fucking time I’m dressing up for you people.” (This was his fifth appearance at the TCA Awards.)

HERITAGE AWARD: “M*A*S*H*” (CBS)

Producers Burt Metcalfe and Gene Reynolds were in attendance, as were Mike Farrell (B.J. Hunnicutt) and William Christopher (Father Mulcahy).

LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT: James Garner

Sadly, no Jim Garner…but we were assured that, as grateful as he was for the award, he didn’t necessarily believe that he deserved it, anyway.

1. The Addams Family, “Halloween with the Addams Family”: The Addams family are all busy preparing for their favorite holiday, but their celebration is bolstered by a pair of bank robbers…one of whom is played by Don Rickles…who they welcome as trick-or-treaters.

2. The Andy Griffith Show, “The Haunted House”: Maybe it isn’t officially a Halloween episode, but it first aired in October 1963, and it focuses on Barney and Gomer trying to retrieve a baseball from a supposedly haunted house and finding some strange goings on inside. As far as I’m concerned, that’s close enough for jazz.

3. Angel, “Life of the Party”: Lorne throws a Halloween party for all the firm’s clients and employees, but during the gathering, his advice to his friends starts happening literally: Fred and Wesley get drunk after Lorne tells them to loosen up, Spike and Harmony dance the night away, Angel and Eve do the horizontal bop, and, Gunn, uh, relieves himself after being told to “stake out his territory.” Good times.

4. Beavis and Butthead, “Butt-o-ween”: It starts simply enough, with the guys trying to master the concept of trick or treating, first without costumes, then wearing Beavis’s “monkey sheets” and going as ghosts. Eventually, however, Beavis + Halloween candy = Cornholio. The equation was ever thus, and here it leads to a quest for more candy…and, y’know, some T.P. for his bunghole.

Bevis and Butt-head-Butt-O-Ween

Dreamer Neverending | MySpace Video

5. Beverly Hills 90210, “Halloween”: The stock line is that Halloween costumes allow a woman to bring out her inner slut, and when the gang from West Beverly goes to a Halloween party, Kelly’s seductive costume leads a college student to translate “no” as “yes.” It’s absolutely inexcusable, of course, but – whew! – you can’t say she doesn’t make an impression. Meanwhile, Brenda and Dylan go as Bonnie and Clyde, Steve is Zorro, and Donna comes as a mermaid, a move which seriously hinders her dance moves.

Watch the episode at CBS.com!

6. The Big Bang Theory, “The Middle Earth Paradigm”: Penny throws a great Halloween party, and she makes a pretty kitty, too, but it’s hard to top the meeting of the four Flashes.

7. Bones, “The Mummy in the Maze”: Booth and Brennan are called in to investigate after the mummified remains of a teenage girl are found in a Halloween-themed maze. Then the mummified remains of another teenage girl are found at a Halloween amusement park funhouse. Basically, when the team finds out a third teenage girl is missing, they realize that they’ve got an Oct. 31st deadline. But who am I kidding? The best bit about this episode is seeing Emily Deschanel filling out a Wonder Woman costume.

8. Boston Legal, “Witches of Mass Destruction”: Shirley and Denise represent two groups of parents – one Christian, the other Wiccan – who are suing to get rid of a school’s Halloween pageant, specifically because of the witch involved. The Christians feel their faith is being marginalized by a satanic symbol, and the Wiccans claim that Halloween images stereotype them. If this sounds like heavy stuff, don’t worry: the sight of William Shatner and James Spader dressed as pink flamingos does wonders to lighten the mood.

9. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Halloween”: Damn that Ethan Rayne! This was the first appearance of Rupert Giles’s nemesis within the Buffy-verse, and the contents of his costume shop led the Scoobies to become that which they were dressed as…which is to say that Willow became a real ghost, the gun Xander bought combined with his existing military fatigues to grant him valuable military knowledge, and Buffy’s beautiful 18th century dress makes her think that she’s actually from the 18th century. Bonus points for the Oz / Willow storyline (“Who is that girl?”), even if we now know that their relationship was doomed from the start.

10. Curb Your Enthusiasm, “Trick or Treat”: Are you kidding me? One of the world’s great curmudgeons has to deal with a bunch of punk trick-or-treaters who turn up at his door without costumes and demand candy. You know it’s comedy gold.

11. Everybody Hates Chris, “Everybody Hates Halloween”: One of the most underrated sitcoms of the ’00s offered up a classic Halloween episode in its first season, where Chris is asked by his mother to accompany his siblings while they “trick or treat” on Halloween. Later, when Drew is invited to a party by Keisha, Chris goes in his place, dressed as Prince. Meanwhile, Julius buys inexpensive generic brands of candy – you know, like Two Musketeers?…which leads to a counterattack from Rochelle. Unfortunately, the episode isn’t available online, but at least YouTube has a couple of clips. The first one shows off Julius’s cheap-ass candy choices…

…but, unfortunately, I can’t embed the second one, which shows off Chris’s Prince costume, so you’ll have to click here to see it.

12. Freaks and Geeks, “Tricks or Treats”: In the great transition from child to teenager, there are few losses greater than that of the rite of trick or treating, so you can understand why Sam kind of freaks out and decides to go out and score one last haul of Halloween candy. As with most Halloween episodes, just seeing the characters getting into their costumes is half the fun (especially when a concerned Neal looks in the mirror and muses, “Looking for Chaplin, only seeing Hitler”), but there’s also an equally classic subplot with Lindsay getting involved in the dark side of the holiday: vandalism.

13. Friends, “The One with the Halloween Party”: Hey, Monica’s throwing a Halloween party! Highlights: Joey does his impeccable Chandler impression, Chandler gets stuck in a giant pink bunny costume for the night (thanks for nothing, Mon), a pregnant Rachel gives all the candy away to the first little girl who says, “I love you,” Ross dresses as Spud-nik, and Phoebe finds herself torn about whether or not she should tell her twin sister’s fiancee (played by Sean Penn) how awful a person Ursula really is.

14. Home Improvement, “Crazy for You”: Annual Halloween episodes were a staple of this Tim Allen sitcom, but if you have to pick just one for inclusion, this one – where Jill gets revenge on Tim for years of pranks – is probably your best bet. It all starts when Tim gets cookies from a fan named Rose, who starts calling him. Stalker alert…? We’ll never tell. But we will say that it probably couldn’t hurt if Tim watched his back.

15. How I Met Your Mother, “Slutty Pumpkin”: It was four years ago…oh, wait, I don’t want to ruin Ted’s story if you haven’t heard it yet, but this first-ever Halloween episode for the series features a storyline which, knowing this show, still has significant potential to come back into play in a future episode. (Creators Carter Bays and Craig Thomas have never been afraid to loop back and reference past scenes.) Lily and Marshall have some awesome couple costumes – one in the present, one in flashback – and what a surprise: Robin isn’t couple-y enough to follow her new boyfriend’s lead and go with his idea of dressing up as Hansel and Gretel. That’s almost as not-shocking as Barney’s costume. Wait, was that devil outfit a costume?

16. Little House on the Prairie, “The Monster of Walnut Grove”: I have “Little House on the Prairie: The Complete Series” sitting on my shelf, and I’m not afraid to admit it. Why? Because if I never watch a single other episode, at least I’ll forever have access to this one, which completely creeped me out when I was a kid and, frankly, still does even now. I never did trust Mr. Oleson…

17. M*A*S*H, “Trick or Treatment”: There’s an oft-repeated blanket statement that the last few seasons of “M*A*S*H” were too damned serious for their own good, which is a fair cop, but they still managed to slip a classic in once in awhile, and this one definitely qualifies. Everyone’s decked out in their Halloween best – Hawkeye is Superman, B.J.’s a clown, Margaret a geisha girl, Colonel Potter a cowboy, and Klinger’s Al Capone – but the arrival of more wounded causes an end to the celebration. Best remembered for two moments: one funny (Winchester helps George Wendt get a billiard ball out of his mouth), one serious (Father Mulcahy saves a life when he realizes that a supposedly dead soldier has shed a tear).

18. My So-Called Life, “Halloween”: Angela takes a long, strange trip back to 1963 for Halloween, and Graham and Patty get Medevial on your asses, but this is still very much a definitively ’90s show, as evidenced by Rayanne showing Angela the Rolling Stone cover declaring Kurt Cobain’s death at one point. Some say this is the weakest episode of the series’ brief run, but I say that, merely by being an episode of “My So-Called Life,” it’s a must-see nonetheless.

19. NCIS, “Chimera”: I don’t mean to undercut this episode by writing very little about it, but when it comes down to it, you only need a mere two words to explain why it’s a must-see: ghost ship.

20. NewsRadio, “Halloween”: Joe may say that the whole point of Halloween and the holiday’s associated parties is to sit in the corner and make fun of all the dorks wearing costumes…and, yes, this is where you’d insert a joke about Matthew’s gay biker costume from last year (“The label clearly said ‘motorcycle enthusiast'”)… but, as Dave rightly points out, “An open bar really rekindles the childhood spirit.” Obviously, the gag about Bill McNeal learning the date of his death from a psychic isn’t as funny now as it was then, but, really, you can’t go wrong with any “NewsRadio” episode from the Phil Hartman era. That this is a Halloween episode is really just a bonus.

21. Night Court, “Safe”: The title comes courtesy of Judge Stone, who – while practicing an escape act for his Halloween party magic act – accidentally locks himself inside a safe and nearly suffocates to death, but Dan Fielding has the best plot line, selling his soul for $100 to a man in a devil costume but then getting antsy when the guy seems to know way too much about him. Sure, it’s funny, but it’d be a whole lot scarier if we hadn’t already seen Dan do dozens of things during the previous four seasons that’d get anybody consigned to Hell.

22. The Office, “Halloween”: Is there any better time to lay someone off than All Hallow’s Eve? Talk about the perfect day to give someone a scare. But who to let go? “It’s not a popularity contest,” admits Michael. “Although it does makes sense to fire the least popular, because it has the least effect on morale.” There are some classic costumes on display, including Kelly as Dorothy from “The Wizard of Oz,” but if you’ve only seen Dwight’s Joker attire from last year’s Halloween episode, then you absolutely need to go back and see him rockin’ the Darth Schrute look.

23. Reaper, “Leon”: Even as great as this series already was, there is no show that can’t be made at least 75% better by a guest appearance from Patton Oswalt, who plays a demon with a gun for an arm. Sure, he spends half the episode trapped in a snow globe, but even when he’s in there, we still get to hear his voice. Oswalt totally dug the experience of “getting to work with those actors, all of whom are so cool and really intelligent,” though he admitted that they were all bummed because they’d just gotten word that The CW had declared that, instead of crafting a mythology and doling it out in a serialized fashion, the producers were to stick to a more self-contained episodic format. In closing, allow me to offer my most profound apologies that the only available clips of the episode are found within a CW-sponsored recap that’s totally tainted by a complete douche named Jason C.

24. Roseanne, “Boo!”: The first in a long line of Halloween episodes for the series, which may be why it feels like the freshest of the bunch. Parents will enjoy watching Dan and Roseanne torture their kids with a claim about a psycho neighbor who escaped from the mental institution, whereas husbands and wives will enjoy battle of parks between the two of them. Dan may well be “the master,” as he claims throughout the episode, but only Roseanne would utter a line like, “Now clean up this blood and finish your breakfast,”

25. Route 66, “Lizard’s Leg and Owlet’s Wing”: This suggestion comes to us courtesy of Bob Westal, and although this was the first I’d heard of it, now I feel like I need to head to Netflix so that I can see it. It’s a pretty flimsy premise – Tod and Buz are working as guest liaisons at a motel just outside of Chicago where Boris Karloff, Lon Chaney Jr. and Peter Lorre are meeting to discuss whether the old monster costumes they used in films will still scare a TV audience today – but the idea of seeing the three horror icons together is really all you need, anyway.

26. Saturday Night Live, “Host: Donald Pleasance, Musical Guest: Fear”: This episode is historic even before the theme song plays, as the cold opening features the final appearance of John Belushi on “SNL” (all he does is look into a mirror and raise his eyebrows, but it’s more than enough to elicit a roar of approval from the studio audience), but in addition to having an icon from the original “Halloween” franchise hosting the show, Fear brought more punk to the show than has ever been seen before or since, including a mosh pit full of skinhead slam-dancers. According to Dennis Perrin’s book, “Mr. Mike: The Life and Work of Michael O’Donoghue”…

During the slow, opening chords of ‘Beef Baloney,’ the skinheads stirred at the front of the stage, ready to explode. When the band broke open at high speed, the slamming, diving, stomping, and shoving commenced with a vengeance. Fear played a set of three songs during which band members dodged and at times collided with the dancers. Lead singer Lee Ving dove into the frenzied crowd while bodies spilled across the stage, the action oddly in sync with Fear’s driving rhythm. It all seemed to be taking place in an abandoned warehouse on teh edge of town rather than in the confines of NBC. “SNL”‘s traditional music segment was thus beautifully vandalized in front of millions of onlookers.

O’Donoghue was elated. Now this, he felt, was good television. (Producer Dick) Ebersol, however, was sickened by the sight before him. At the peak of the action he crouched near the skinheads and tried to direct their movements, but to no avail. Someone yelled “New York sucks!” into a microphone that had fallen to the stage, and Ebersol raced to the control room and ordered a fade to black. As Fear launched into “Let’s Have a War” and a dancer was about to smash the show’s Halloween pumpkin, the mikes went dead and a short film filled the screen. In the studio, Fear ceased playing at the skinheads walked off the set. Ebersol remained angry and reportedly raged in the control room. But for sheer drama, nothing could top the New York Post, which ran an item the following Tuesday in which “inside” sources spoke of “a riot, mindless, out-of-control destruction of property,” and other horrors. “This was a life-threatening situation,” said a source. “They went crazy. It’s amazing that no one was killed.” Ebersol responded swiftly and seriously to the Post’s fabrications, but O’Donoghue simply laughed away the negative reaction to Fear. “They’re just a band like the Carpenters,” he said.

I’ve read about this episode for years, but I’ve never actually seen it, so if you know of anyone who has a copy that they’d be willing to dub for me, just leave your contact info in the comments. Yes, seriously.

27. The Simpsons, “Treehouse of Horror III”: Really, you could go with any of the early ‘Treehouse’ episodes, and we’ll gladly admit that the industry standard is probably #5, what with the “Shining” parody and Homer’s time-traveling mishaps, but #3 has the classic “King Kong” spoof (“King Homer”), an imminently quotable riff on zombie flicks that’s capped off with a joke at television’s expense (“Man fall down. Funny.”), and the hilarious “Clown without Pity.” (“Help, Marge! The doll’s trying to kill me, and the toaster’s been laughing at me!”) If it ain’t the best, it’s as good as.

28. South Park, “Korn’s Groovy Pirate Mystery”: Best Scooby Doo parody ever…well, except for “Night of the Living Doo,” that is…and one of the few legitimate excuses for liking Korn. The only possible competition for this episode within the “South Park” canon is “Spookyfish,” but while it earns bonus points for its “Star Trek” parody, the “Spooky Vision” concept – which involves putting pictures of Barbra Streisand at the bottom corners of the screen – is less funny than just distracting.

Watch the episode at SouthParkStudios.com!

29. Square Pegs, “Halloween XII”: The Halloween dance gets canceled when Muffy spends the entire budget on decorations, so an alternative plan is brought into play: a slumber party at Ms. Loomis’ house. (Too bad nobody told Mrs. Loomis.) Patty and Lauren decide to attend, but when the night is crashed by a few members of the opposite sex, it all goes downhill. “Great, now we’re being seen by an actual boy in these nightgowns,” says a horrified Lauren. “Will the horror of this evening never end?” asks Patty. Take a tip from Stanley the Safety Elephant: you won’t want to miss this one.

30. That ‘70s Show, “Too Old to Trick or Treat, Too Young to Die”: Great Jethro Tull reference in the title, but this is mostly a tribute to Alfred Hitchcock, including unabashed homages to “Rear Window”, “Vertigo”, “The Birds”, “North By Northwest,” and “Psycho.” Shame about having to see Fez dressed in Dr. Frank N. Furter’s old lingerie, though.

31. Two and a Half Men, “Hi, Mr. Horned One”: Charlie’s Satan-worshiping girlfriend has a knack for the supernatural and seems to be the cause of some strange happenings around the Harper house. Shockingly, Charlie at first ignores Alan’s suggestions that he get rid of her…not that you can blame Alan for making them, given that she’s threatened to put a curse on his manhood…but he begins to change his tune when she tries to blackmail him to impregnate her with “the horned one.” Even if you’re not a big fan of the show, this is definitely a classic episode, with Jake coming within an inch of selling his soul for some candy, Evelyn’s true identity at last revealed, and a money shot of the guys’ costumes to wrap it all up.

Last night’s “Top Chef: Las Vegas” on Bravo featured the remaining seven chefs facing more and more pressure. Some would respond while others would start to wilt, and we’re almost to final four territory (just where has this season gone??).

We began with a quick fire challenge as host Padma Lakshmi introduced Italian chef Paul Bartolotta, who has an Italian restaurant in Las Vegas and is known as one of the best in the cuisine. But oddly, their quick fire was not Italian-oriented. Instead, they each had to create a “TV dinner” style dish based on a popular show, drawing knives to determine who would be representing which show.

Kris Kringle (Kevin) drew first and had “The Sopranos,” and he made a meatball dish with polenta and roasted cauliflower. Eli had “Gilligan’s Island” and made a macadamia and cashew crusted shrimp with tropical fruit salad. Mike Isabella had “Seinfeld” but admitted to never having watched it. Yikes. He made a sausage and pepper dish, though I’m not sure how that fit the show. Mike V. had “Cheers” and made bar food–chicken tender parmesan with swiss chard. Robin pulled “Sesame Street” and made a burger with egg, some sort of cookie and braised kale. Kale? For a kid? Brian had “M*A*S*H” and did a 50’s inspired dish of meat loaf, mashed potatoes and apple pie. Finally, Jennifer had “The Flintstones” and made a chicken roulade with peaches and a pea salad. Not sure about that one either. No bronto-burgers, Jen?

Chef Bartolotta chose Robin and Jen’s as his least favorites, and his top choices were Brian and Kris Kringle. Okay, from here on out, we’re going to refer to Kris as his real name, Kevin…you all know he looks like Kris Kringle, and he’s too much of a contender! Kevin won the challenge and his prize was to have his dish featured in a new line of Top Chef frozen dinners with Schwan’s.

For the main challenge, the chefs were whisked off to head judge Tom Colicchio’s Craftsteak restaurant, where they would be serving dinner to the judges and some guests. After looking at all the great steaks that were back in the kitchen and trying to determine what they would be making, a curveball came in. That curveball was actress Natalie Portman, who would be the guest of honor. However, Natalie is a vegetarian. Yikes….you could hear the collective groan and awkward comments (Robin: “They are people too!”).

Robin made a stuffed squash with fresh garbanzo beans and a beet carpaccio. All of that sounded good on the surface, but apparently her head was so scattered that she was not focused on one particular aspect of the dish.

Eli made a confit of eggplant, with lentils and radish garnish. This went over fairly well.

Mike V. made a few types of asparagus, with a tomato sashimi and banana polenta. The polenta was brave considering chef Bartolotta was a judge, but he pulled it off and he got the reaction out of Portman he wanted (“I’m not sure why, but I love this…”)

Jennifer made a charred eggplant with fennel and was nervously saucing each plate when describing the dish. For whatever reason, they didn’t like her dish and she was going to be in trouble again.

Mike I. made leeks with a carrot puree and roasted fingerling potatoes. A good idea, as he wanted the leeks to resemble scallops, but they kind of fell apart as he cooked them. Not good and they let him know it.

Brian did an artichoke dish with shallots and a fennel puree. I think they liked his dish but didn’t love it.

And finally Kevin made a mushroom duo with smoked kale and turnips. The judges loved his dish and thought that the mushrooms were a nice protein replacement.

As the judges discussed what they liked and didn’t like, at one point Natalie Portman made an adolescent type crack about something Padma said about a “prick” in her mouth, and all of them started snickering like they were watching “Beavis & Butthead” together. It was pretty funny.

So they called in the three chefs whose dishes they liked the most–Kevin, Michael V. and Eli. They loved the textures but more importantly the flavors Kevin created, the creativity of Michael’s and how pretty Eli’s dish looked in addition to tasting great. The winner? Kevin again. Michael was pissed because he said he could have made Kevin’s dish in his sleep. Yikes….easy, dude! Kevin’s prize was a kitchen full of appliances and this guy just keeps racking up those prizes!

The least favorites were Jennifer, Robin and Mike I. Jennifer’s was considered to be a plateful of garnishes and they questioned why that was when she had 2 hours. Robin’s dish was all over the map and not focused enough. And Mike not only failed with his leek experiment, but he was cocky and thought the rest of his dish was great…Colicchio disagreed wholeheartedly. So while we were all holding our collective breath, waiting for Padma to say Robin’s name…she didn’t, instead going with Mike Isabella. Dude was too cocky for his own good, though it’s hard to believe he is a better chef than Robin. Really hard to believe.

So we are now down to six–Robin, Jennifer, the brothers Voltaggio, Kevin and Eli. I’m still pulling for and picking Kevin as my frontrunner. What do you all think? Will the brothers implode soon? Will they cancel each other out? Tune in next week!

I’m no Hollywood insider. Nikki Finke does not rely on me for her tips and I don’t ever expect to attend the Vanity Fair Oscar after party. Nevertheless, there’s one thing I do know about show business: personality goes a very long way in “this town.” And so a few of us press people recently found ourselves the subject of a 50 megaton charm offensive by the four stars of the new Fox sitcom, “Brothers” — C.C.H. Pounder, Carl Weathers, and Daryl “Chill” Mitchell, and one extremely enthusiastic newbie, former New York Giants Defensive End and Fox Sports commentator Michael Strahan. I haven’t seen the show itself yet, which premieres tonight at 8 p.m./7 central, but the visit was certainly a performance I won’t be forgetting.

From long-time writer-producer Don Reo, whose credits run from “M*A*S*H” to “Blossom” and “Everybody Hates Chris,” “Brothers” stars Strahan as a former NFL star who winds up moving in to the house he bought for his parents when a financial reversal puts him in the metaphorical poorhouse. Since this is a sitcom, naturally there will be conflict with his brother, played by Mitchell, and the usual issues with parents Weathers and Pounder. One ace the show will be playing will be guest appearances by some fairly big names playing themselves, including former heavyweight champion Mike Tyson, hip-hop star T-Pain, celubutante Kim Kardashian, and the great Clarence Clemons of the E Street Band. Also appearing will be well actress Tichina Arnold from “Chris” and, not playing himself, rap superstar Snoop Dog. Stand-up comic Lenny Clarke will be playing a neighbor on the show.

The show has been getting some additional attention for a perhaps less fortunate reason, in that while African-American actors are featured in more diverse roles these days, it’s the only current show on the networks schedules with a predominantly black cast. That’s largely a reversal of the trend of the past when the vast bulk of decent TV parts for nonwhite actors were on shows like “The Jeffersons” and “Good Times” as well as some of the later, more controversial shows aimed at black audiences like “Martin.”

The first to meet the press were Carl Weathers, perhaps still most famed as Rocky Balboa’s venerable opponent, Apollo Creed, and C.C.H. Pounder, who is taking a break from her usual intense, gravitas-laden, roles on shows like “The Shield” and seems to be enjoying every minute of it. In fact, I’m here to tell you that extremely skilled Ms. Pounder is downright bubbly in person. You heard me, “bubbly” — but in a very smart sort of way.

The mood was light right off the bat with more than one of us entertainment journos confessing a complete lack of knowledge of sports and Ms. Pounder joining in. Weathers was the exception. “Well, I played for the Oakland Raiders so I hope I know a little bit about football.” And that somehow prompted an impersonation of Butterfly McQueen from “Gone with the Wind” from Pounder. I guess you had to be there.

Anyhow, movie geek that I am, I was quick to ask the actress about her massively impressive resume, which goes back to the late seventies and includes her screen debut working with Roy Scheider in Bob Fosse’s “All That Jazz” and a role in “Prizzi’s Honor” working for the legendary John Huston. I asked how the business had changed over the years.

Apparently one big difference is that race is simply less of a barrier these days, finally. She explained the beyond-rude treatment — miming putting her feet on the table — that she would often get during meetings with agents and producers early in her career, and how she had to do research to prove that black female professionals existed in order to get jobs. “They were doing quotas…and so everybody felt that they were trying because they saw other races. I haven’t seen that at all in many, many moons. I really remember fighting to get a judge role on ‘L.A. Law.'”

Of course, there was also the aforementioned issue of “Brothers” being the only “black” show on network television at the moment. Was there any additional pressure because of that?

“I don’t have the pressure. Maybe it’s because I am old as dirt and I won’t take any pressure,” Pounder said with more than twinkle in her eye. “I don’t feel that pressure anymore of representing the race….Now I am 30 years into it I want to be an actor again and act.”

Carl Weathers, who began his career playing often ultra-macho, but somewhat nuanced roles — not only in the “Rocky” films but also in “Force 10 from Navarone” and his later starring vehicle, “Action Jackson” — was very much on the same page. “For me, it ain’t no pressure. It’s a funny show about people who happen to deal with their lives through humor and hopefully Americans will embrace that and give us enough episodes. I think for the most part everybody on the show is having a lot of fun, and it’s fun to be here to be here to play with them in this sandbox….”

Then came the day’s other inevitable topic — working with a famous first-time actor. We were assured that Michael Strahan — the personable, gap-toothed NFL record holder for sacks, dubbed “the Sack-0-Lantern” by Jimmy Kimmel — was definitely doing his homework as well as having that little something extra.

“Michael is a huge personality, [a] very funny and charismatic guy,” said Carl Weathers.  But that wasn’t all. “You don’t become what he has become and not get how to do the job. He walked on the set with the same kind of attitude that he had all those years in professional football and he is an amazing quick study.”

“He’s going into something that he has a natural knack for,” chimed in Pounder. “He’s got himself his version of a playbook which is really brilliant. That’s the attitude that he has that will make him a very successful man in all the other fields.” After a little humorous back and forth with Weathers, she added with multiple layers of irony, “Some people get to go to drama school for 29 years and other people learn in 20 minutes.”

Michael Strahan himself appeared shortly thereafter and was as “on” as anyone I’ve seen in a while, joking nonstop and, eventually, commenting on the subtle differences between acting in a four-camera sitcom shot before a live audience and playing pro football. “The whole process was different and foreign to me because I am used to when you make a play everyone goes ‘aaaah!!!,’ and when you don’t make a play everyone goes ‘Boo!!!!'”

When did he decide he wanted to be an actor? “I never decided that I want to be a football player, but next thing I know I look back and 15 years later it’s over. The commentating thing just kind of happened, I never made a plan that I wanted to be football player or a commentator or an actor. It just kind of happened. I just roll with the punches of what happens at the time and so far things have worked out.”

Not long after came the arrival of co-star Daryl “Chill” Mitchell — who people actually call “Chill” — and the two seemingly couldn’t stop teasing each other and generally showing off their brotherly rapport. Still, I was ultimately able to get in a question with a bit of effort. I mentioned how fellow PH-stable mate Mike Farley was a huge fan of the Giants and of Strahan personally, to the point where he and his wife, Jen, have — they assure us jokingly — talked of naming their next son “Michael Strahan Farley.” With the movie “Big Fan” very much on my mind, I asked if he had had any issues with weirdness or excessive emotion from fans.

“Of course I do. I’ve had a guy whose arm I signed and he went straight to the tattoo shop and got the autograph tattooed on his arm. That kind of freaked me out. I saw him like a week later and he was like ‘do you remember me?’ I met him at IHOP.”

“I am a normal dude,” Strahan said. “I don’t travel with 20 people. I don’t go in places where I feel like I need to have extra people for security and protection. I am more like that normal everyday, enjoy-my-life kinda guy. I’ve been very fortunate and that has helped me when I am not working. Who doesn’t hear about actors who have to have a certain color M&M’s in their trailers? But, from Day One, it’s been easy,” he said. And going into gag-mode, “I crack on [Chill] and Carl but I don’t crack on C.C. I don’t mess around with C.C too much. I am scared of C.C….Nobody here is easily offended and if we were then we are on the wrong show. [Chill] says the foulest jokes about my teeth, but I just suck it up.”

After some very funny, but hard to transcribe, back and forth banter between Strahan and Mitchell regarding the matter of teeth and, not at all offensively, Mitchell’s use of a wheelchair, the eighties rapper turned actor called a truce in the insult battle long enough to praise his new colleague. “I always tell everybody…if you forget your lines, ask Mike and that’s scary for someone to have a memory like that. He doesn’t act and that’s where actors mess up, because they act.”

He also found time to give props to the most experienced actors on the set. “People like Carl and C.C.H. hold seminars that you would pay to get in — that’s how I learned.” Mentioning his background on “Veronica’s Closet,” “The John Larroquette Show,” the wondrous “Galaxy Quest,” and other shows. “I learned from working with the greatest comedians of all times.”

Yes, it was a love fest, but mostly in a good way. We press were sent home in a very good mood. That was probably the idea.