That sound you hear is me patting myself on the back, but more on that in a minute. Last night’s “American Idol” results show was a bit different than usual, as they had contestants perform in small groups rather than in those larger, pageant-type numbers. And I liked it.

They kicked off with the two country singers, Lauren and Scotty, performing “I Told You So,” and it was really, really good. Then Ryan Seacrest told them that they were both….safe!

Next up, Naima and Jacob sang the old Ashford & Simpson song, “Solid as a Rock,” after which Jacob was told he was safe, and Namia was in the Bottom 3. Not a huge surprise, at least not to me. Then Season 3 champ Fantasia came out and sang her new song, “Collard Greens & Cornbread.” Yum, I’m hungry now! And it wasn’t bad, but she also sings like Jacob Lusk, with that pseduo-Gospel shake-while-singing thing. Talented, sure…but very distracting.

Then Haley, Thia and Pia did Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream,” and it was good, especially the harmonies. I think Haley needs to stop growling every chance she gets and just sing. Pia and Haley were then declared safe, while Thia was in the Bottom 3.

Finally, the band of Paul, Casey, Stefano and James performed Wings’ “Band on the Run,” and it was really good too. Then Casey was sent to safety, and Seacrest told him he got a butt-load of votes this time. Good for him! James was safe, and so was Stefano, meaning Paul was in the Bottom 3. Booooooooo! So the Bottom 3 was Naima, Thia and Paul.

Then Jamie Foxx and Will I. Am performed their new auto-tuned single, with about 200 dancers on stage. Okay, whatever.

Finally it was time to announce who was being sent home……….the person safe this week was….Paul! Whew. So Naima and Thia were going home this week, and I you may have read that prediction somewhere.

Sweet. So now we’re down to 9–with only 3 girls left. Those would be Lauren, Pia and Haley. The guys still have Stefano, James, Paul, Casey, Jacob and Scotty.

So who do you like? Were you pleased with the results? Let me know in the space below, and we’ll see you back here next week!

Every season, “Hell’s Kitchen” on Fox seems to up the ante when it comes to brash contestants who like to get in each others’ faces and who sometimes get in Chef Gordon Ramsay’s face. And somehow, despite the fact that they found 16 contestants among 10,000 applicants, they always manage to draw about 50% from the New York tri-state area. Seriously, if you watched last night’s episode, the New YAWK accents are quite dominant.

The show opened with the 16 hopefuls meeting new maitre’ D James. What, where the heck is Jean Phillippe??? Then they were blindfolded and sent to the new location of where they might be working if they win this season–LA Market. Ramsay was there to greet them and then sent them back to Hell’s Kitchen to prepare their signature dishes for him, in 45 minutes time.

The guys won, but not before some funny moments–like when Emily had her boobs basically sticking out of her dress, and Ramsay said to “cover your puppies.” Ha! He then caught Sabrina yawning and almost threw her out. Antonia made some dish that looked like poop and according to Ramsay and everyone else that Ramsay made taste it, tasted like poop as well. The ladies had to clean up the kitchen and the guys got to have a lunch that included champagne, caviar and neck massages. Raj, who is one of those rambunctious New Yorkers, started doing karate kicks after he had a few cocktails. Awesome.

During dinner service, Antonia had bad migraines but was shaking so bad when the medics arrived that they took her to the hospital. That was scary, and I’m kind of annoyed that the producers showed all that. Anyway, Antonia won’t be back this season, so despite her poop dish, we hope she is okay.

For the dinner service, Raj and Emily were taking orders for the mini-pizza appetizers, and Raj did not know what he was doing at all. Trev was dressing the salads like he was dressing himself up for winter. Melissa made raw meat. Boris started mimicking Ramsay saying “RAW!” and Ramsay proceeded to rip ol’ Boris a new one. Classic. Lisa didn’t know how to cook scallops, continually flipping them so as not to get a nice sear. Sabrina was trying to brown nose Ramsay by bringing her food to the pass was done while still waiting for her teammate’s fish and garnishes.

After two hours, no entrees had left the kitchen and people were starting to leave. Ramsay had to shut it down, and said it was the worst opening service ever in Hell’s Kitchen. Do you get the feeling the producers found more amateurish chefs on purpose this time to make for better TV?

Ramsay had each team nominate one person for elimination–blue went with Raj and Trev, and red went with Lisa and Sabrina. But Sabrina was kicking and screaming, throwing Nona under the bus along the way. Ramsay told Sabrina and Trev to get back in line, and he sent Lisa home. Raj and his karate kicks were also safe. Of course they were….why would you send ratings gold like that home so soon?

Episode 2, which was the second hour of the 2-hour premiere (please Fox, don’t make this a 2-hour event every week, but I know you will with baseball playoffs coming up), started with a loud wake up call for the chefs. Then they were brought downstairs where Ramsay introduced his friend, Masaharu Morimoto, an Iron Chef from Food Network. They had to watch Morimoto make two sushi dishes and then re-create them. The guys won this challenge too and got to have a plane fly them to San Francisco (on Southwest….why no private plane, or was this an advertising thing?)…for a wine lunch. You know that that meant…more karate chops! The ladies had to stay back and prep and then eat some “delicacies” that looked disgusting, and I don’t even want to know what they were.

At dinner service, one chef from each team was chosen to be an assistant maitre’ D…Jillian and Vinny. Of course there’s a Vinny, right?
It then took Vinny 30 minutes to get his order in. Gail made good risotto, and Sabrina made good sushi (she appears to be able to cook well but can’t get along with anyone). But many of the chefs failed–Curtis poorly executed sushi, Emily undercooked meat, Boris undercooked scallops, and Vinny told diners not to order sides because Raj could not keep up in the kitchen. He was right, but Ramsay was fuming about the fact that Vinny did this. Eventually, Raj and the rest of them were kicked out of the kitchen, and Raj was trying to karate chop again. The blue team lost, obviously, and Ramsay asked for two consensus chefs for elimination.

They sent up Raj and Boris, but then Ramsay wanted Vinny to also step forward. Then, he threw them all for a loop by eliminating Curtis. You know, I have to admit, I am not positive how this went down because I was FALLING ASLEEP after watching two hours of this show. But I’m sure that Ramsay decided to keep Raj and Vinny and Boris around for ratings. I mean, karate chops and Boris mimicking Ramsay? That’s gold. But Curtis clearly didn’t have the cooking chops needed here.

So this season is going to be mighty interesting. But we’re already down to 13 with Antonia out. Thanks for reading and see you all next week!

Last night’s “Biggest Loser” finale on NBC was a true showdown of four contestants who really deserved to be there. No real game play was evident this season, anyone who started to play the game was swiftly eliminated by everyone else. Anyway, this was a live event, but they went through and showed each of their collective journey, especially how they all had to weigh in in front of their hometown friends and family at the start. This included the ubiquitous showing of Daris saying “I will do everything I can to make you proud,” in which he sounds like an overweight robot. I mean, the producers of this show love that clip so much, that you could seriously create a drinking game around every time they show it.

Anyway, host Alison Sweeney brought out Daris and Koli, because America held the vote that would send one of them to the Top 3 and one of them back into the “at home” competition. You may remember that Daris slipped last week, overeating when he was home and training for the marathon. I thought for sure Koli would win based on that, but America had sympathy and voted for Daris. Maybe it was all a ploy by Daris? Hmmm. But either way, it would be Daris vs. Ashley and Mike for the title of The Biggest Loser. And Koli, who came out all fired up, was reduced to almost whimpering.

Then after showing former winners such as Danny, Bill and Erik, it was time for one of last season’s fiercest competitors, Shay, to weigh in for her Subway challenge. You may remember Subway enlisted her to win $1000 for every pound she lost from December up until now. Shay looks great, and she lost another 52 pounds for $52K! But then Jared from Subway came out and challenged Shay again, saying she and him would train for a marathon, and when completed, Subway would double that money. Wow. But that was awesome.

Okay, time to what we came here for. To see everyone and how much weight they’d lost. Here is how it broke down:

Cherita lost 91 pounds, down from 277 to 186
Victoria lost 136 pounds, down from 358 to 222
Sherry lost 99 pounds, down from 218 to a stunning 119 (current leader)
Maria lost 114 pounds, down from 281 to 167
Patty lost 73 pounds, down from 243 to 170
Stephanie lost 99 pounds, down from 264 to 165
James lost 128 pounds, down from 485 to 357
John lost 149 pounds, down from 484 to 335
Melissa lost 90 pounds, down from 233 to 143
Lance lost 128 pounds, down from 365 to 237
Migdalia lost 52 pounds, down from 265 to 213
Miggy lost 91 pounds, down from 240 to 149
O’Neal lost 159 pounds, down from 389 to 230

Sunshine lost 114 pounds, down from 275 to 161
Darrell lost 189 pounds, down from 413 to 224 and he took the lead from Sherry
Drea lost 84 pounds, down from 298 to 214
Cheryl lost 76 pounds, down from 227 to 151
Sam lost 142 pounds, down from 372 to 230
And finally Koli lost 215 pounds, down from 403 to 188, and he took the at-home prize from Darrell, with a 53.34% weight loss

Koli was asked by Alison what he was thinking, and he said, “I just want to go home with my family.” Yikes…..that’s all he could muster? He’d just won $100K!

So then it was time for the big showdown between Daris, Ashley and Mike. Daris went first, and lost 168 pounds, down from 346 to 178 for 48.55%. Ashley was next and lost 183 pounds, down from 374 to 191 for 48.93%. Both of them looked amazing, as did Mike, who went next. Mike started out as the heaviest contestant ever, at 526 pounds. He struggled a lot this season, but kept dropping weight like crazy. Mike lost 264 pounds, down from 526 to 262, for a 50.19% weight loss and the title of the Biggest Loser! Now this was a true Biggest Loser champion, the kind of person who can inspire millions of people. But until now, I didn’t realize that Koli had lost more percentage of weight than Mike, and if America had voted him into the Top 3, he would have won. Ouch, that has to sting a bit. But I like having Mike as the champ, and he won fair and square based on the rule of the game.

Now let’s hope Mike keeps that weight off and keeps going, because he still has a ways to go. But he sure deserved to win and should enjoy it. We’ll be on a conference call with him today so look for some excerpts from that interview later this week. Thanks for reading this season!