All the women are safe tonight. That goes without saying. Before last night’s episode, the only female contestant really in jeopardy was Melissa Joan Hart. But look at her now. Len Goodman has asked her and partner Mark Ballas to once again perform the Charleston. Melissa surprised everyone last night, finally improving after weeks of sub-par dancing.

I’m predicting either Chuck Lidell or Michael Irvin will get the boot tonight. I mean, who else would it be?

I didn’t even know Shakira was still around. She looks great, glaring and smirking at the audience. I would never listen to this song on my own time, but I would watch the music video on mute.

So, the pros are obviously pros for a reason. That group dance was really cool. It makes a 24 year-old dude like myself consider taking a class to impress a lady. Actually, forget that — the fact that I’m fine with watching this show is enough.

I can’t believe America spared Michael Irvin. Louie Vito and Aaron Carter were obviously…wait, Shakira’s on the screen.

I wonder how well Shakira can dance. I think she should be on the next season of “Dancing with the Stars,” along with Megan Fox, Marisa Miller, and the San Diego Chargers Cheerleaders.

Chuck Lidell and Aaron Carter are the contestants on tonight’s chopping block. Lidell has definitely been entertaining, but he hasn’t contributed one dance with anything close to a textbook accuracy. Aaron Carter actually has a knack for this stuff. And the loser is…

Chuck. He shouldn’t really care, anyway. He still has the MMA and his credibility. Aaron Carter has much more riding on this competition.