Well, with that being the case, you can read the descriptions and check out the clips of what Fox has for us for the upcoming season. Just be sure to let us know what you think about what they’re offering up! Oh, and before you ask, we didn’t forget to include a clip for the last series. They didn’t offer a clip for the last series…but, hell, I don’t even think they’ve cast it yet, so at least they’ve got a good excuse.

MONDAY

8 – 9 PM: HOUSE

9 – 10 PM: LONESTAR: a provocative soap set against the backdrop of big Texas oil, from Chris Keyser and Amy Lippman, the creators of “Party of Five”; Marc Webb, the director of “(500) Days of Summer”; and creator Kyle Killen. Robert / Bob Allen (newcomer James Wolk) is a charismatic and brilliant schemer who has meticulously constructed two lives in two different parts of Texas. He’s juggling two identities and two women in two very different worlds – all under one mountain of lies. As “Bob,” he lives in Houston and is married to Cat (Adrianne Palicki, “Friday Night Lights”), the beautiful daughter of Clint (Jon Voight, 24, “Midnight Cowboy”), the patriarch of an ultra-wealthy Texas oil family. More than 400 miles away in the suburban west Texas town of Midland, he’s “Robert,” living a second life with his sweet, naïve girlfriend, Lindsay (Eloise Mumford, “Mercy,” “Law & Order: SVU”). In Midland, he plays the perfect boyfriend while secretly bilking local investors of their savings. In Houston, he’s a devoted husband, charming Cat and her family to cement his position in the rich family business he aims to clean out. Bob has lived both lives successfully for years without arousing any suspicions…so far.

While one brother-in-law, Drew (Bryce Johnson, “Popular,” “The Mentalist”), admires Bob, his other brother-in-law, Trammell (Mark Deklin, “Nip/Tuck,” “Desperate Housewives”), is suspicious of his motives. Bob begins to fear his secret lives may unravel. With the cons closing in on him, Bob is divided by his love for two women; his loyalty to his father and mentor, John (David Keith, “An Officer and a Gentleman,” “The Class”); and his respect for his father-in-law, Clint. Now as he tries to hold his two lives together, while fending off angry investors and the suspicions of those around him, Bob puts it all on the line hoping he can beat the odds, leave the schemes behind and keep two separate relationships afloat.

TUESDAY

8 – 9 PM: GLEE

9 – 9:30 PM: RAISING HOPE: a new single-camera family comedy from Emmy Award winner Greg Garcia (“My Name Is Earl”) that follows the Chance family as they find themselves adding an unexpected new member into their already terribly flawed household. At 23 years old, Jimmy Chance (Lucas Neff, “The Beast”) is going nowhere in life. He skims pools for a living, parties every night and still lives at home with his family, including his Maw Maw (guest star Academy Award and Emmy Award winner Cloris Leachman); his mother, Virginia (Martha Plimpton, “How to Make It in America”); his father, Burt (Garret Dillahunt, “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles,” “Damages”); and his cousin, Mike (Skyler Stone, “The Mentalist,” “Dollhouse”). Jimmy’s life takes a drastic turn when a chance romantic encounter with Lucy (guest star Bijou Phillips, “Choke,” “Almost Famous”) goes awry once he discovers she is a wanted felon. Months later, when Jimmy pays a visit to the local prison, he discovers Lucy gave birth to their baby, who he is now charged with raising.

At home with his new daughter, Jimmy’s family is less than enthusiastic about a new addition to the household. His parents, who had him when they were 15, never knew anything about raising a child and have no interest in trying again. If Jimmy can work up the nerve to ask her out on a date, he might get some help from Sabrina (Shannon Woodward, “The Riches,” “ER”), a sardonic checkout clerk he met at the supermarket. Cousin Mike is only concerned about how the baby is going to affect their social life, and out-of-touch Maw Maw is no help either. But Jimmy is determined to take care of his baby – whom Virginia thinks they should name Hope. With very few useful skills but their hearts in the right place, will the Chance family be successful when they step into the unpredictable and immensely challenging world of parenting?

9:30 – 10 PM: RUNNING WILDE: a romantic comedy from the Emmy Award-winning creator and the star of the critically acclaimed FOX series “Arrested Development,” starring Will Arnett (“Arrested Development,” “30 Rock”) as Steve Wilde, a filthy-rich, immature playboy trying desperately to win (or buy) the heart of his childhood sweetheart, Emmy Kadubic (Keri Russell, “Waitress,” “Felicity”), the über-liberal humanitarian who got away – all told through the perspective of a 12-year-old girl. Steve Wilde has never performed a selfless act. But why should he – he’s rich! The son of an oil tycoon, Steve hasn’t had to work a day in his life and has always gotten everything he’s wanted – with one exception: the love of Emmy. The daughter of a former Wilde housekeeper, Emmy is an earnest do-gooder who has spent her adult life trying to save the world. And though Emmy is content living with an indigenous tribe in the Amazon rainforest, her 12-year-old daughter, Puddle (Stefania Owen, “The Lovely Bones”), just wants to be a normal kid experiencing her adolescence in a normal place. And she would speak up except for the fact that she hasn’t spoken in years.

When Wilde Oil’s expansion in the rainforest threatens her adopted tribe, Emmy decides to attend Steve’s self-thrown “Humanitarian of the Year” award ceremony in hopes of convincing him to help her cause…and also maybe because she still has a thing for Steve. But same-old Steve is unwilling to help because fighting Wilde Oil (a/k/a Dad) means putting his meal ticket in jeopardy. Rather than run the risk of letting Emmy slip away again, Steve pulls out all the stops to win her heart. To do so, he enlists the only other people in his life who can help: Migo Salazar (Joe Nuñez, “Superbad,” “Prison Break”), Steve’s employee/sidekick/errand-boy, and Gertie Stellvertretter (Jayne Houdyshell, “Law & Order”), Steve’s nanny-turned-head-of-security as well as the biggest protector of Steve…and her own job. Despite having everything he ever wanted, Steve knows he can’t buy love and happiness, which falls in sharp contrast to Emmy, who has nothing but love and happiness. So with Emmy committed to doing good for nothing, and Steve being a good for nothing, will this hopelessly mismatched pair ever be able to reconcile their differences?

WEDNESDAY

8 – 9 PM: LIE TO ME

9 -10 PM: HELL’S KITCHEN

THURSDAY

8 – 9 PM: BONES

9 -10 PM: FRINGE

FRIDAY

8 – 9 PM: HUMAN TARGET

9 – 10 PM: THE GOOD GUYS

SATURDAY

8 – 9 PM: COPS

9 – 10 PM: AMERICA’S MOST WANTED

SUNDAY

7 – 8 PM: THE OT (NFL post-game)

8 – 8:30 PM : THE SIMPSONS

8:30 – 9 PM : THE CLEVELAND SHOW

9 – 9:30 PM : FAMILY GUY

9:30 – 10 PM: AMERICAN DAD

Canceled:

* 24
* Brothers
* Sons of Tucson
* ‘Til Death

Returning midseason:

* American Idol
* Kitchen Nightmares

New at midseason:

* BOB’S BURGERS: a new animated series about a man, his family and a burger joint. A third-generation restaurateur, Bob Belcher (H. Jon Benjamin, “Family Guy,” “Archer”) runs Bob’s Burgers with the help of his wife and their three kids. Bob has big ideas about burgers, condiments and sides, but only a few thoughts on customer service and business management. Despite his greasy counters, lousy location and occasionally spotty service, Bob is convinced his burgers speak for themselves. Even though business is slow, Bob gets to work with his family.

His wife, Linda Belcher (John Roberts, “The Christmas Tree,” “Jackie & Debra”), supports Bob’s dream through thick and thin (but truth be told, she’s getting a little sick of the thin). Their eldest daughter, Tina (Dan Mintz, “Important Things with Demetri Martin,” “The Andy Milonakis Show”), is a 13-year-old hopeless romantic with minimal social skills. Middle child Gene (Eugene Mirman, “Flight of the Conchords,” “Aqua Teen Hunger Force”) is an aspiring musician and a prankster who serves up more jokes than burgers. Their youngest, Louise (Kristen Schaal, “Flight of the Conchords,” “Modern Family”), is the most enthusiastic about her dad’s business, but an off-balance sense of humor and her elevated energy level make her somewhat of a liability in the kitchen. Beyond the restaurant is a city rich with character. Next door to Bob’s is It’s Your Funeral Home and Crematorium; down the street is Wonder Wharf, the oceanside amusement pier; and a few blocks away is Wagstaff Middle School, where Bob and Linda’s kids go to school. And across the street is Jimmy Pesto’s Pizzeria, Bob’s Burgers’ main competition and the thorn in Bob’s side.

* MIXED SIGNALS: a new comedy series about three longtime friends and their attempts to reconcile the irreconcilable: to balance their relationships with their need for freedom. The series reveals how friendships and romances enhance – and further complicate – the lives of men and the women who love them. Ethan (Kris Marshall, “Human Target,” “My Family”) is the perpetual bachelor. He loves women, and when he’s in, he’s all in – at least for three weeks. Charming, genuine and hopelessly independent, Ethan is finding out that as he gets older, the pool of women who are willing to take things day by day is rapidly evaporating.

Adam (Nelson Franklin, “The Office,” “I Love You Man”) recently moved in with his girlfriend, Callie (Alexandra Breckenridge, “Family Guy”), and is learning how vastly different “she comes over a lot” and “she lives with me” really are. Adam is discovering there isn’t much “me” time any more, there’s only “us” time. Mike (David Denman, “The Office”) is a married lawyer still trying to figure out the male-female dynamic. He wants nothing more than to be a good family man to his wife, Lisa (Liza Lapira, “Dexter,” “Dollhouse”), and his infant son, but he’s also trying to carve out a little space for himself. Currently that space is in his car, where he watches action movies in 15-minute chunks while telling his wife he’s stuck in traffic.

* RIDE-ALONG: The city of Chicago is a paradox that serves as the setting for a new drama from Shawn Ryan (“The Shield,” “The Unit”). During a ride-along, a civilian spends a shift in the passenger seat of a squad car, observing the work day of a police officer. But in this series, the audience is the passenger, taking an unpredictable ride through the streets of Chicago and navigating crime and corruption with the most respected – and notorious – cops in the city. Jarek Wysocki (Jason Clarke, “Public Enemies,” “Brotherhood”) is a local legend and larger-than-life veteran of the Chicago Police Department. Like the city of Chicago, Jarek is razor blades and brass knuckles wrapped in politeness and egoless charm – a man who throws away partners the way others throw away tissues. Teresa Colvin (Jennifer Beals, “Lie to Me,” “The L Word”) arrived at the pinnacle of the Chicago Police Department in a short period of time. She’s determined to implement changes before the mud that is Chicago politics clogs her office. As a result of Teresa’s difficult choices, she has made some powerful enemies along the way, including two street gangs, the police officers’ union and a city alderman who proves to be a dangerous adversary.

Jarek’s new partner, Caleb Evers (Matt Lauria, “Friday Night Lights”), is a smart and observant young detective who desperately wants to prove himself. He is savvier and more observant than most people give him credit for, and just might make the perfect yin to Jarek’s yang. Also in Jarek’s charge is his niece, Vonda Wysocki (Devin Kelley, “Tease”), a rookie beat cop whose father, Jarek’s brother, was killed in the line of duty when she was young. Jarek keeps close tabs on her and is less than thrilled to discover she’s falling for her partner, Isaac Joiner (Todd Williams, “In Plain Sight,” “CSI”), a charismatic cop who takes unnecessary risks on the job that land him and Vonda in some dangerous situations. Alderman Ronin Gibbons (Delroy Lindo, “Kidnapped”) is a building-magnate-turned-politician who has ruled his ward with a velvet glove for three decades. Jarek and Teresa are convinced Gibbons and his cohorts, including Liam Hennessey (Billy Lush, “The Black Donnellys”), an Irish tough guy in Gibbons’ construction empire, are dirty to the core, but they’ve never had the evidence to prove it. When a murder investigation leads them to Gibbons, they are determined to bring him to justice and clean up Chicago – if that’s even possible.

* TERRA NOVA: an epic family adventure 85 million years in the making, from executive producers Steven Spielberg, Peter Chernin, Brannon Braga (24, “Star Trek: Enterprise”) and David Fury (“Lost,” “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”). “Terra Nova” follows an ordinary family embarking on an incredible journey back in time to prehistoric Earth as a small part of a massive experiment to save the human race. In the year 2149 the world is dying. The planet is overdeveloped, overcrowded and overpolluted. With the majority of plant and animal life extinct, devotion to science has brought mankind to the brink of destruction, but has also provided its only hope for salvation. Knowing there is no way to reverse the damage to the planet, a coalition of scientists has managed to open up a fracture in the space-time continuum, creating a portal to prehistoric Earth. This doorway leads to an amazing world, one that allows for a last-ditch effort to save the human race…possibly changing the future by correcting the mistakes of the past.

The series centers on the Shannon family as they join the tenth pilgrimage of settlers to Terra Nova, the first colony of humans in this second chance for civilization. Jim Shannon, a devoted father with a checkered past, guides his family through this new land of limitless beauty, mystery and terror. Jim’s wife, Elisabeth Shannon, is a trauma surgeon chosen through a global lottery as a new addition to Terra Nova’s medical team. Josh Shannon is their son, mourning the girl he left behind, as he’s torn between two role models – his father and the charismatic Commander Frank Taylor, the leader of the settlement, and the heroic first pioneer through the time portal. Maddy Shannon, Jim and Elizabeth’s teen daughter, is as independent and adventurous as her parents, but her distrust of authority soon leads her on a dangerous path. In addition to blue skies, rolling rivers and lush vegetation, Terra Nova offers new opportunities and fresh beginnings to its recent arrivals, but the Shannons have brought with them a familial secret that may threaten their citizenship in this utopia. Additionally these adventurers soon discover that this healthy, vibrant world is not as idyllic as it initially appears. The areas surrounding Terra Nova are filled with dangerous dinosaurs, and other prehistoric threats, as well as external forces that may be intent on destroying this new world before it begins. But perhaps even more threatening than what lies outside the protective walls is the Shannons’ realization that something sinister may be happening inside Terra Nova as not everyone on this mission has the same intentions of how best to save mankind.

Be that as it may, the up-beat social issue/sports drama starring Sandra Bullock did indeed do extremely well this week. Taking a look at the Box Office Mojo chart, the $29 million film earned a very nice estimated $20.4 million for Warners and Alcon Entertainment in its second weekend and has so far earned a really terrific total amounting to roughly $129,264,00 so far.

As a comparison, my favorite movie of the year (that I’ve seen…I’m way, way behind), “Inglourious Basterds,” was considered quite the success. With a $70 million budget, after 16 weeks it has earned $120,467,000 for Harvey and Bob Weinstein. “2012” cost $200 million to make, a rather obscene sum that was unthinkable not so long ago, and in four weeks in wide release has earned a mere $148,787,000. I haven’t seen “The Blind Side,” but it just makes me happy that a modest movie about people is proving, I think, to be significantly more profitable than at least one pretty obviously bloated spectacle.

As for that other movie about teen vampires, werewolves, and waifs, B.O. Mojo’s Brandon Grey is here to tell us that “The Twilight Saga: New Moon” dropped another 63% this week. However, it’s opening week take was so stunning that meant it still took in a respectable estimated $15.7 million for Summit. It’s total domestic bankroll at this point is about $255.6 million and, as per Variety‘s Pamela McClintock, the worldwide total for “New Moon” is $570.1 so far. All that, with a budget of only about $50 million for a fantasy film. The “Twilight” films might not be seen by anyone as great cinema, but they are pretty awesome business.

For you schadenfreude fanatics, Nikki Finke reminds us that both “The Blind Side” and the “Twilight” franchise were placed into turnaround by Fox and Paramount respectively. However, it’s always possible that those other studios would have found a way to mess up those pictures or their marketing, so who knows how things would have turned out with different studios?  In any case, no one wins all the time.

As for the actual new films in wide release this weekend, it’s not too pretty. As expected, the downbeat Afghanistan war-oriented drama, “Brothers,” came in at the #3 spot, but with an unimpressive estimated $9.7 million, though the modest budget ($3 million lower than “The Blind Side”) will help Jim Sheridan’s remake of a Danish hit to perhaps break even in the long run or do a bit better if Oscar notices it. Still, considering the three major, youngish stars, it’s another testament to the apparently declining value of star power. Are people finally getting sophisticated enough about filmmaking that they understand that actors, as crucial as they are, don’t actually make up the stories or point the camera? Nah. It’s gotta be something else.

In this case, I think the film was probably hurt by a dour ad campaign and the wrong kind of timeliness. People who care about what’s going on in Afghanistan, particularly those who have loved ones in the military or are in the military themselves, probably don’t want to spend their leisure/fun time thinking about it right now, and people who don’t care about it…don’t care about it. A little bit more critical buzz might have been nice as well.

As for the other three new releases, it kind of unpleasant, so I’ll start with the good news, which is that the Oscar and critical support building behind “Up in the Air” is paying off. In limited release in 15 theaters, the adult-oriented R-rated comedy from Jason Reitman earned $1.185 million for an airborne per-theater average of $79,000.

Okay, back to the bad news. Nimrod Antal’s PG-13 heist thriller, “Armored,” was sequestered from critics prior to its release, but actually got a could-have-been-worse 44% rating from Rotten Tomatoes. Still, audiences  weren’t overly impressed and the film came in #6 and earned an uninspiring $6.6 million for Screen Gems in under 2000 theaters.

“Everybody’s Fine” apparently wasn’t really doing so well. The attempt at a heart-warming family comedy-tearjerker starred Robert De Niro, Drew Barrymore, Kate Beckinsale, and Sam Rockwell, but apparently even grandma wasn’t too interested in this one. It came in at the #10 spot on its opening weekend with only an estimate of a little above $4 million  from over 2000 theaters. Again, stars of any age group aren’t really doing it right now.

Not that having no stars is a good thing either. The week’s under-ballyhoed youth-oriented alleged horror-comedy, “Transylmania,” boasted a really dumb name and a trailer so unfunny  I dare not link to it a second time lest I bring a rain of destruction upon this blog and all who view it. Eight critics did venture into a theater to review the movie. Of course, they all hated it. Actually, if those eight tickets all went to the same theater, they would have wound being more than a third of the film’s beyond horrific opening weekend per-screen average of $232. It earned a truly sad $274,000 in over 1,000 theaters.  By comparison, 1985’s “Translyvania 6-5000” with, among others, Jeff Goldbloom, Ed Begley, Jr., Norman Fell, and Michael Richards was a blockbuster.

Of the four new releases said to be appearing in 1,000 to 2,000+ theaters this weekend, the most promising, both artistically and commercially, is “Brothers,”  a remake of a widely acclaimed Afghanistan war-themed 2005 drama from Denmark. Distributed by Lionsgate, the movie is an intense love triangle involving the not-actually-dead young Afghanistan war vet played by Tobey Maguire, his not-actually-a-widow played by Natalie Portman, and his black sheep brother, Jake Gyllenhaal — who looks so much like a brother to Maguire that he once is supposed to have nearly replaced him in one of the “Spiderman” sequels.  (If they worked Elijah Wood into the cast, they would have achieved the baby-faced, raspy-voiced star trifecta.)

Director Jim Sheridan of “My Left Foot,” “In the Name of the Father,” and “In America” has a real flair for intense tales that dance around the edges of melodrama and then sometimes dive right in. The one-two-three punch of the very well known youngish stars would make you think this should come in with a decent amount of money — at least in the double digits. However, considering the growing news and controversy around the Afghanistan war, the topic might be a bit too timely for audience tastes. Also, a film like this should probably should at least crack 70% on the Tomatometer, especially, but hitting it of with something  in the neighborhood of 50–60% of critics will have to do. Worse reviewed films have received Oscar nominations, however.

Next up is another remake of a foreign language hit, this time of an Italian comedy-drama/tearjerker from 1990 that starred the great Marcello Mastroianni and was directed by Giuseppe Tornatore of “Cinema Paradiso.” (Not at all a favorite of mine, by the way.) Disney’s PG-13 “Everybody’s Fine” brings us Robert De Niro as a widower trying to reconnect with his children and grandchildren and costars Drew Barrymore, Kate Beckinsale, and Sam Rockwell. A sentimental tale for the holidays with this kind of star power should have some wattage in theory, though  apparently the “tracking” is kind of stinking for this film which isn’t really wowing the critics either. Our own Jason Zingale liked it mainly on the strength of DeNiro’s performance but this one feels like the movie you settle for if grandma, or maybe great-grandma, wants to see something nice and you can’t get into the “The Blind Side.”

The same definitely cannot be said for two remaining films which are pretty clearly going after the youth and/or male audience. “Armored” is a PG-13 heist thriller that appears to involve, guess what, armored car drivers. Stars Matt Dillon, Laurence Fishburne and (for the foreign market, no doubt), Jean Reno won’t hurt this film, but I don’t think they’ll save the box office for Screen Gems either, much as I think they’re all pretty cool. The trailer — which features my hero, Fred Ward, doing some warmed-over “Hill Street Blues” shtick — looks fairly tired. Notably, critics aren’t being shown this film from memorably named director Nimrod Antal.

The filmmakers are probably using ten-foot stakes to keep critics away from “Transylmania,” a truly lame-looking attempt from newcomers Full Circle Releasing to set a National Lampoon-style college comedy in a vampire’s lair masquerading as a university. An idiotic title,  lame “Twilight” parodies, almost no familiar faces, and sub-sub-sub-sub-“Buffy” style hijinks don’t look promising commercially to me. Judging from craptaculacious trailers I’ve seen online, the only thing interesting about this apparently laugh-free horror farce is that it comes from a new releasing company and no one seems sure exactly how many theaters it’s going to be in. Both McClintock and DiOrio (in his video clip, not in the text) say it’ll be in around 1,000 theaters, but Box Office Mojo merely says it’s release is “limited.” The more limited, the better, I’m thinking.

Still, all may not be lost for fans of old fashioned quality movie-making. Debuting in limited release at 15 theaters is “Up in the Air,” from star George Clooney and director Jason Reitman of “Thank You for Smoking” and “Juno.” After today’s award from the National Board of Review (discussed in the post immediately below this one), the Oscar hype on this one is about to join the mile high club.

Glee (Wed., Sept. 9 @ 9:00 PM, Fox)

The competition: “Modern Family” and “Cougar Town” (ABC), “Criminal Minds” (CBS), “Law and Order: Special Victims Unit” (NBC), “The Beautiful Life” (The CW)

Starring: Jane Lynch, Jayma Mays, Corey Monteith, Lea Michele, Dianna Agron, Matthew Morrison, Jessalyn Gilsig, Chris Colfer, Patrick Gallagher, Kevin McHale, Jenna Ushkowitz, Amber Riley, Mark Salling
Producers: Bradley Buecker, Brad Falchuk, and Ryan Murphy (“Nip/Tuck”), Zachary Woodlee (“Eli Stone”)
Network’s Description: A one-hour musical comedy that follows an optimistic high school teacher as he tries to transform the school’s Glee Club and inspire a group of ragtag performers to make it to the biggest competition of them all: Nationals. McKinley High School’s Glee Club used to be at the top of the show choir world, but years later, a series of scandals have turned it into a haven for misfits and social outcasts. Will Schuester, a young optimistic teacher, has offered to take on the Herculean task of restoring McKinley’s Glee Club to its former glory with the help of fellow teacher Emma Pillsbury. It’s a tall order when the brightest stars of the pitch-imperfect club include Kurt, a nerdy soprano with a flair for the dramatic; Mercedes, a dynamic diva-in-training who refuses to sing back-up; Artie, a geeky guitarist who spends more time avoiding bullies than chasing girls; and Tina, an awkward girl who needs to suppress her stutter before she can take center stage. Will’s only hope lies with two true talents: Rachel Berry, a perfectionist firecracker who is convinced that show choir is her ticket to stardom; and Finn Hudson, the popular high school quarterback with movie star looks and a Motown voice who must protect his reputation with his holier-than-thou girlfriend, Quinn, and his arrogant teammate, Puck. Driven by his secret past, Will is determined to do whatever it takes to make Glee great again, even though everyone around him thinks he’s nuts. He’s out to prove them all wrong – from his tough-as-nails wife Terri Schuester to McKinley’s cheerleading coach Sue Sylvester to an über-hip world that thinks jazz hands and sequined tuxedos litter the road to infamy rather than pave the way to Hollywood dreams.
The Buzz: Crazy insane. (Insane? Crazy?) Fox’s decision to air the pilot for the show back in May and let it simmer for the summer was one of the strongest marketing moves in recent television history, as evidenced by the ridiculous amount of iTunes downloads of the songs from the show, and while having the cast turn up at Comic-Con might’ve seemed out of place at first, given how close the lines for “glee club members” and “comic book and sci-fi aficionados” lie on the geek flowchart, it shouldn’t have. And now they’re preparing to tour the malls of America…? The buzz buzz buzz you’re hearing in the drum of your ear is the sound of “Glee.”
Pilot Highlight: If you didn’t want to leap to your feet and applaud at the end of their performance of “Don’t Stop Believin’,” you are dead inside. Dead, I say.
Bottom Line: It’s going to be like having a new volume of “High School Musical” airing every single week, except with sensibilities falling closer to “Freaks and Geeks.” If it isn’t a huge hit, and if the soundtrack to the show isn’t one of the biggest selling albums of the holiday season, I will be shocked…and crestfallen, too, as I’m totally in the “Glee” club as well.

Brothers (Fri., Sept. 18 @ 9:30 PM, Fox)

The competition: “Supernanny” (ABC), “Ghost Whisperer” (CBS), “Law and Order” (NBC), “Smallville” (The CW)

Starring: Daryl “Chill” Mitchell, Michael Strahan, Carl Weathers, CCH Pounder, Colton Dunn
Producers: Don Reo (“Everybody Hates Chris”), Eric and Kim Tannenbaum (“Two and a Half Men”), Mitch Hurwitz (“Arrested Development”)
Network’s Description: A new half-hour comedy about a former NFL hot shot who learns that even though you can always go home again, the trip back might be tougher than you think. Mike Trainor seemingly has it all he’s a good-looking, wealthy and recently retired NFL player living the high-life in New York City, but he’s about to get sidelined. When Mike gets a phone call from his mom, who orders him home to Houston, he quickly realizes the more his life has changed, the more his family has stayed the same. His brother Chill, whose life was altered drastically after a car accident left him in a wheelchair, is struggling to keep his restaurant afloat with the help of his loudmouth associate, Roscoe. The dynamics between Mike and Chill are the same as when they were kids, and their sibling rivalry hasn’t lessened with age. If they can stop their bickering, put aside their differences and learn to be teammates, the brothers might just turn out to be each other’s biggest asset. Wedged between Mike and Chill are their parents. Their father, whom everyone refers to as Coach, is the local high school football coach and the conservative, opinionated alpha male of his clan. Coach thinks he runs the show, but really it’s Mom who calls the shots. Saucy, stern and a schemer, she is the mastermind of the family. And when she learns that Mike’s business manager took off with all his money, she orchestrates a plan to keep Mike in Houston, save Chill’s restaurant and bring the family back together under one roof again all without anyone realizing what she’s up to. Mom’s plan helps Mike realize that his family however dysfunctional they may be is the only family he’s got. And although he may not have a penny to his name, as long as he’s surrounded by people who love him, he’ll always be a rich man.
The Buzz: The fact that Fox has paired it with the dreaded “‘Til Death” and pissed off fans of “The Sarah Connor Chronicles” by putting both sitcoms into the real estate formerly occupied by the former “Terminator” series is enough to either annoy or completely piss off just about everyone. That it also isn’t very funny only serves to add insult to injury.
Pilot Highlight: When Mike denies his financial woes, only to have his mother counter by asking, “Then why are you gonna fight Danny Bonaduce for $10,000?”
Bottom Line: Strahan has more comedic chops than we had any right to expect (and isn’t afraid to make fun of his gap-toothed grin), and Mitchell’s been a highlight of every series he’s done since “The John Larroquette Show,” but there’s still not much here to write home about.

The Cleveland Show (Sun., Sept. 27 @ 8:30 PM, Fox)

The competition: “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” (ABC), “The Amazing Race” (CBS), “Sunday Night Football” (NBC)

Starring: Mike Henry, Sanaa Lathan, Reagan Gomez-Preston, Kevin Michael Richardson, Seth MacFarlane, Arianna Huffington, Jason Sudekis
Producers: Seth MacFarlane, Mike Henry, Rich Appel, and Kirker Butler (“Family Guy,” “American Dad”)
Network’s Description: A new animated series that follows everyone’s favorite soft-spoken neighbor Cleveland Brown to his hometown in Virginia, as he settles down with his high school sweetheart, her unruly kids and his 14 year-old son, Cleveland, Jr. Many years ago, Cleveland was a high school student madly in love with a beautiful girl named Donna. Much to his dismay, his love went unrequited, and Donna wound up marrying another man. Cleveland once told Donna he would always love her, and if this man ever done her wrong, he’d be there when she called. Well, this man done her wrong. Donna’s husband ran off, leaving Donna with a daughter and a baby. Now she’s come to Cleveland and offered him another chance at love. Unattached after the Loretta-Quagmire debacle and true to his word, Cleveland joyously accepts and he and Cleveland, Jr., move to Virginia to join their new family. Once in Virginia, Cleveland has a few surprises in store for him, including a rebellious new stepdaughter, a 5-year-old stepson who loves the ladies, as well as a collection of neighbors that includes a loudmouth redneck couple, a British family seemingly stuck in the Victorian era and a family of bears.
The Buzz: It seems like forever since this show was first announced, but given that Fox gave the series a two-season pick-up before so much as a single episode had even aired, they’re clearly counting on the “Family Guy” fanbase to embrace the show. That’ll be like shooting fish in a barrel, especially considering that the character of Rollo is an unabashed attempt at creating a Stewie for the series. The more interesting question is what African-American audiences will think of it, though that concern is actually tackled by one of the characters during the first episode. (“I’ll tell you what else gets on my nerves: when white people make a TV show they think black people will watch!”)
Pilot Highlight: The theme song is as catchy as you’d expect from a MacFarlane-produced series, and the whole concept of Tim the Talking Bear is laughably surreal, but the biggest laugh comes from Jason Sudekis’s incredibly obnoxious white-guy character, Holt, who calls Cleveland “dawg” before saying, “I’ll come by later, bring the new Dave. ‘Live in Austin.’ Sick!”
Bottom Line: The show’s pacing appropriately falls somewhere between “American Dad” than “Family Guy,” but how long can MacFarlane’s Sunday night animation domination last before viewers start to get tired of three of the guy’s series back to back?

Okay, onto what is on the schedule, along with a few editorial comments…

MONDAY

8:00 PM – House
9:00 PM – LIE TO ME

Looks like another year of having to watch “House” and “Lie To Me” as full-season sets when they come out on DVD, because I’m still going to be watching “The Big Bang Theory,” “How I Met Your Mother,” and “Heroes.”

TUESDAY

8:00 PM – So You Think You Can Dance

WEDNESDAY

8:00 PM – So You Think You Can Dance Results Show

9:00 PM – Glee

The distinctive new comedy from Ryan Murphy (“Nip/Tuck”) starring Jane Lynch (“The 40 Year Old Virgin”) and newcomers Matthew Morrison (Broadway’s “Hairspray”), Lea Michele (“Spring Awakening”) and Cory Monteith (“Kyle XY”). Combining biting humor with a soundtrack of hit music from past to present, the inventive series follows an optimistic high school teacher who – against all odds – attempts to restore McKinley High’s fading Glee Club to its former glory, while helping a group of underdogs realize their true star potential.

THURSDAY

8:00 PM – Bones
9:00 PM – Fringe

When my wife finds out that “Fringe” is going to be competing against her beloved “Office,” she’s gonna be so pissed…

FRIDAY

8:00 PM – Brothers

A new half-hour comedy about a former big-city NFL hot shot who returns home to his family – and his mother’s house – to get his life back on track. Starring Michael Strahan (“FOX NFL Sunday”) and Daryl “Chill” Mitchell (“Ed,” “Veronica’s Closet”).

8:30 PM – ‘Til Death

9:00 PM – Dollhouse

Really? They canceled “Sarah Connor” for this? And do they really think this coupling is going to help the “Dollhouse” numbers?

SATURDAY

8:00 PM – Cops

8:30 PM – Cops

9:00 PM – America’s Most Wanted

11:00 PM – The Wanda Sykes Show – The irreverent Saturday late-night series will feature Sykes’ outspoken comedic perspective on current events along with topical, high-energy roundtable discussions.

12:00 AM – Animation Domination encores

SUNDAY

7:00 PM – The OT (NFL Post-Game Show)

8:00 PM – The Simpsons

8:30 PM – The Cleveland Show – Everyone’s favorite soft-spoken FAMILY GUY neighbor, Cleveland Brown, moves with his son back to his hometown in Virginia and settles down with his high school sweetheart and her unruly kids.

9:00 PM – Family Guy

9:30 PM – American Dad

MIDSEASON

MONDAY

8:00 PM – House
9:00 PM – 24

TUESDAY

8:00 PM – American Idol

9:00 PM – Past Life

A fast-paced emotional thriller inspired by the book “The Reincarnationist.” The series stars Kelli Giddish (“All My Children”) as a gifted psychologist and Nicholas Bishop (“Home and Away”) as a former NYPD detective who work together to explore and unravel mysteries that must be solved in both the past and the present.

Wow, that doesn’t sound at all like “Life on Mars.”

WEDNESDAY

8:00 PM – American Idol Results Show

9:00 PM – Human Target

A full-throttle, action-packed thrill ride from executive producers McG (“Terminator Salvation”) and Simon West (“Con Air,” “Tomb Raider”). Based on the popular DC Comics graphic novel and starring Mark Valley (FRINGE), Chi McBride (“Pushing Daisies”) and Academy Award nominee Jackie Earle Haley (“Watchmen”), the series follows CHRISTOPHER CHANCE (Valley), a unique private contractor who will stop at nothing – even if it means becoming a human target – to keep his clients alive.

Anyone else noting the irony that the director of the new “Terminator” movie is getting a show just as the “Terminator” TV series is getting canceled?

THURSDAY

8:00-9:00 PM BONES

9:00-10:00 PM FRINGE

FRIDAY

8:00-8:30 PM BROTHERS

8:30-9:00 PM ‘TIL DEATH

9:00-10:00 PM DOLLHOUSE

SATURDAY

8:00-8:30 PM COPS

8:30-9:00 PM COPS

9:00-10:00 PM AMERICA’S MOST WANTED

11:00 PM-Midnight THE WANDA SYKES SHOW (working title)

Midnight-12:30 AM ANIMATION DOMINATION ENCORES

SUNDAY

7:00 PM – Animation Domination encores

7:30 PM – American Dad

8:00 PM – The Simpsons

8:30 PM – Sons of Tucson

From three-time Emmy Award winner Todd Holland (“Malcolm in the Middle”), the non-traditional family comedy stars Tyler Labine (“Reaper”) as a charming but wayward schemer hired by three young brothers whose father is in prison.

9:00 PM – Family Guy

9:30 PM – The Cleveland Show