Season 10 of “American Idol” is in the books. But before we get to the result, let’s talk about how bad the performances on the show were overall, in rapid-fire fashion….

The Top 13 performed Lady GaGa’s “Born This Way,” and we all expected GaGa to come out and join them, but she didn’t. Oh, but the performance was awful, and why do they make them wear all white like the Good Humor Man for these group numbers?

Then James Durbin sang with Judas Priest, and that was one of the night’s highlights. Next was Jacob Lusk singing with Kirk Franklin and Gladys Knight. That wasn’t bad, and who doesn’t love Gladys? Then Casey Abrams sang “Fat Bottom Girls” with Jack Black. Funny, but not all that great a performance. Next, the Top 6 ladies (Lauren sat this one out) performed a medley of craptastic Top 40 songs and were joined by Beyonce. Yawn. Then Haley Reinhart sang a duet with Tony Bennett, and at 85 Tony is starting to forget lyrics on stage, which is painful to watch. But he can still sing, and Haley sounded really good on this one.

Then TLC was paired with Lil Jon and the Top 6 ladies again. Where were the guys??? Next, Tim McGraw was paired with Scotty McCreery on “Live Like You Were Dying,” and that was pretty cool. Scotty really held his own too. Next, Marc Anthony performed (dude has some pipes) and his wife J-Lo came out to dance and shake her booty on stage, literally. Oh, and Sheila E. played percussion.

Finally the guys performed a number, a medley of Tom Jones songs, and yep, Sir Tom Jones made an appearance. Dude looks pretty good and sounds really good too. Good for him. But Tom Jones and Tony Bennett on “American Idol?” Okay.

Next came a very cool moment. Scotty and Lauren talked about their respective teachers who influenced them, and both teachers were asked last week at the homecomings to attend the finale, so they were there last night. Then, Scotty and Lauren presented them with brand new Fords, and they too were awarded Ford vehicles (their own choice of any model!). Mrs. Mike asked the obvious question….are they old enough to drive?

Next, Lady GaGa did perform. Mrs. Mike pointed out that that GaGa really can sing, and she is right. But I’m just not a huge fan of all the flashy show stuff. Then Lauren was paired on a duet with Carrie Underwood, and I have to say, I’ve never heard Carrie sound better. Then as part of a “Spider-man” promotion for the Broadway play, they had some dude literally swinging from the rafters while Reeve Carney, who stars in the show, sang with Bono and The Edge from U2. That was pretty cool too but I’m over U2. Then came another judge treat, as Steven Tyler performed “Dream On,” even playing the piano for the first verse. Dude can still belt it for sure.

Finally, the moment of truth. The winner of “American Idol: Season 10” is…….Scotty McCreery! I had him pegged as a dark horse weeks ago, but I thought Lauren was going to win. Still, this could have gone either way, and both Scotty and Lauren are going to have nice country careers. Congrats Scotty, on a great season and on bring the title back to Garner, North Carolina.

Thanks to you all for reading this season, and we’ll see you back here in 2012!

Last night’s “American Idol” finalists performed three songs each, and suffice to say that the judges tried to be careful with their critiques–especially after Randy and J-Lo almost sent Haley home last week with some blistering comments after her first song. But then again, there were no dud performances last night, and only two that I saw that were a cut above. Here is how it went down….

First of all, Ryan Seacrest announced that next week the show will move to Tuesday and Wednesday. That’s the absolute dumbest thing I’ve ever heard, what with next week being the final week of the season. Seriously. And now they are going up against the finale of “The Biggest Loser.” Damn you, FOX. Anyway, last night they sang three songs–one of their own choice, one chosen by Jimmy Iovine, and a third by the judges. So here we go…..

SCOTTY McCREERY
Song 1: “Amazed” by Lonestar.
I made note that Scotty has such great, natural tone, and he surely has been the most consistent performer in this thing. But does he have enough to win it all? I’m not sure, but I can’t rule out any of these three. Steven said Scotty keeps getting better, J-Lo said she likes the progression of Scotty’s performances over the season, and Randy said it was a great song choice–smart, and with couple of pitch issues–but still a great choice.

Song 2: “Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not?” by Thompson Square. Have any of you heard this song? Jimmy, what are you doing? But Scotty kicked it into high gear for this one and it was really pretty good. Steve said he liked how Scotty delivered the choruses, J-Lo said it was awesome and that Scotty was in the zone, and Randy said Scotty reminded him of his idol, Garth Brooks, and that Scotty is “in it to win it!”

Song 3: “She Believes in Me” by Kenny Rogers.A nice song with a nice sentiment and probably chosen for Scotty because of the way Mr. Rogers drops his voice down in the verses. Steven said it was another instance of Scotty hitting with a big chorus, J-Lo said that Scotty showed them what he’s capable of and that she is so proud, and Randy said he likes the way Scotty stretched himself on this song.

OVERALL GRADE: B+

LAUREN ALAINA
Song 1: “Wild One” by Faith Hill.This was very good but I can’t say it was Lauren’s best shot. J-Lo said she liked the way Lauren attacked the song, Randy said he appreciated Beyonce’s mentoring (oh yeah, forgot to mention this!), and Steven said Lauren looked like she was having so much fun and that she just owned the song.

Song 2: “If I Die Young” by Perry.
I guess this one is on the charts now, which is good for Lauren, but not good for anyone voting who may not follow these charts, like say, everyone. But hey, it was a good performance. J-Lo said she loves Lauren’s tone, and that she has the most beautiful tone out of this season’s finalists (I disagree, that distinction should go to Scotty), Randy said there were a couple of stumbles but he loved the song choice, and Steven said Lauren nailed it.

Song 3: “I Hope You Dance” by LeAnn Womack. This was a home run of a song choice, and a grand slam of a performance. J-Lo said goosebumps don’t lie, and she is right, Randy said Lauren slayed it, and Steven said it was like Lauren owned the Grand Ole Opry. Um, okay.

OVERALL GRADE: A-

HALEY REINHART
Song 1: “What Is and What Should Never Be” by Led Zeppelin. Well, no one can accuse Haley of not going for it. This was, in my humble opinion, one of the best performances by anyone this season, and even better that her dad performed on guitar with the band. Randy said “this is what it’s all about” and that Haley just “slayed it,” Steven made light of the fact that Haley fell down and kept on going, saying “it’s not how many times you fall but how many times you get back up,” and J-Lo said it was a difficult song choice but that Haley nailed it and finished a strong first round. Randy then gave her the win for the round and I bet no one would argue that.

Song 2: “Rhiannon” by Fleetwood Mac.Sometimes Jimmy just shows why he is where he is, and he picked the perfect song for Haley. Not because Haley sounds like Stevie Nicks and was dressed to look like her, but because this song made Haley sing and not scream, and it was a cool moment. Randy said it was a good job and that Haley is in a zone, Steven said it was just like Stevie, and J-Lo said it was a beautiful moment and not too much of a vocal acrobatic song choice. Exactly.

Song 3: “You Oughtta Know” by Alanis Morissette.If “Rhiannon” was understated, this one was way overstated, but in a good way. This was the shouty song Haley needed to make a statement to end the night, but I think some of the lustre was taken off the song when the lyric “will she go down on you in the theater” was replaced with “will she go out with you to the theater.” Blah! So stupid. Randy said Haley is, wait for it, “in it to win it!” Steven said it was amazing, and J-Lo said she did a good job on the choruses.

OVERALL GRADE: A-

Okay, so to recap, Scotty gets a B-plus, while Haley and Lauren each get an A-minus. By my scorecard, Scotty should be going home, but he probably won’t because he’s hung on this long. But seriously, any one of them could be sent home and it wouldn’t be their fault. It was just a hard week to pick a winner. So what do you think? See you tomorrow with the results!

On NBC’s “The Biggest Loser” last night, yet another alliance was about to be broken up. More on that in a minute…but first, it was makeover week, and that prompted each of the six remaining contestants to hoot and holler like crazy, especially big Michael. They each had $1000 to spend on clothes and had a limo pick them up, with some dude from a show on Bravo called “Shear Genius” making them over. And he did a great job, actually.

Sunshine looked like a chunky version of Beyonce….Koli looked like a Hawaiian Buddy Holly…Ashley lost a ton of midriff…Sam looked like a boxer…Daris looked completely different, and Mike just looked really good. Really, they all did. Then they were treated with a private performance by Ashanti…and we all were like, “Who?” I mean, she’s won at least one Grammy but what has she done lately? I’m just saying.

Then it was time for the Jacob’s Ladder challenge, in which they had to climb up said ladder over a 10 foot drop into a pool. Whoever stayed up the longest would win a 1 pound advantage at the weigh in, and whoever was the first in the water would have a 1 pound penalty. Ashley dropped in after 3 minutes, but Koli and Daris were at it for 2.5 HOURS. Holy crap. But eventually Daris gave way, and I think it’s because he had to pee….I mean, he asked if peeing from up there was considered peeing in the pool, so that’s what I think anyway. Of course, Bob Harper was pissed at Daris for giving up when he could have held on longer. Whatever, Bob!

After the last chance workout that we forwarded through, it was time for the weigh in. Koli went first and lost a whopping 15 pounds! With the extra pound that gave him 16. Then again, remember last week he had immunity and we thought he threw the weigh in by losing just 1 pound? Hmmm. Michael was next and lost 9, and so did Daris. Sunshine also lost 9 and then Sam just 2 pounds. That put Sam below the line and well below everyone else percentage-wise. Ashley lost 10 pounds, or 9 with the one pound penalty.

So it was down to Sam and Michael. Sam has already reached his goal weight, the first ever to do that on the ranch. But Michael started out at 526 pounds, and he’s lost almost 200 but still has a ways to go and could be considered a bigger threat. But Mrs. Mike pointed out the alliances…Koli and Sunshine would vote for Michael and Ashley and Daris would vote for Sam, making it a tie and thus sending Sam home because he lost the lowest percentage of weight. And that’s exactly what happened! You go, Mrs. Mike!

Sam, meanwhile, has reached his goal and is down from 395 pounds to 236…he’s lean and fit and knows we all know he is dating Stephanie…and they are now living together in Los Angeles. Good for them! Another Biggest Loser couple that will soon be making babies.

So we’re down to five and there are no more multiple team members left….it’s Daris, Michael, Sunshine, Koli and Ashley. Any of them could win, but I’m still saying it will be Michael or Daris. Let me know what you think in the space below, and see you all next week!

I’m not in the mood for a long-winded commentary, so I’ll simply present the video, which I gather was co-directed by Beyoncé and Anthony Mandler, and then the original scene and you can draw your own conclusions about this acknowledged homage.

And here’s the original.

If you want to read more, a lot more, about 1969’s “Sweet Charity” and director-choreographer Bob Fosse, you might want to take a look at my lengthy essay from the “Fossethon” I had at my personal blog back in ’07.

You can complain about remakes all you want, but this is one story that really begs to be remade with every generation, as it’s always pretty much always relevant and only more topical with each new decade. In case you’ve never seen any version, it’s the story of a young actress and/or singer on the way up who becomes involved with a star very much on the way down, mostly because of substance abuse. Apparently the thinking is to once again make the on-the-go female a singer, as in the now iconic 1954 version starring Judy Garland and James Mason directed by George Cukor, and the commercially huge but critically dissed 1976 Barbara Streisand/Kris Kritofferson version directed by Frank Perry and, perhaps, an uncredited Streisand. Names like Beyoncé and Alicia Keys are being mentioned for the female lead.

The two male stars Fleming mentions are interesting. I don’t need to say why Robert Downey, Jr. is either too on the nose or absolutely and utterly perfect for the role. Real-life parallels and method acting possibilities aside, he’s a intriguing choice also because of his own forays into singing. Could make for a dramatic duet or two.

The other name being floated according to Fleming is Jon Hamm of “Mad Men.” This would presumably take the film more in the direction of the 1954 version, which featured James Mason as the alcoholic movie star in love with Judy Garland’s singer. Hamm’s a terrific and versatile actor and I’m sure he’d be very good. I just hope, however, they’re not just mentioning his name because just he does a great impression of Mason.

This Mason, by the way, is mainly inspired by his “A Star is Born” character. In real life, it was Judy Garland who had the drinking and drug issues. As for Hamm, let’s hope we see his impressionistic skills again — and the writers can again figure out something funny for him to do with them — when he returns to SNL later this month.