When we first arrived on the set, the actors were still shooting elsewhere on the Fox lot, so Whedon held court before the assembled throng of critics (some of whom may or may not have actually been bowing before him) and spoke to the second season of “Dollhouse” all by his lonesome, which he described as “the biggest surprise of my career.”

“What can I say?” asked Whedon. “I really didn’t expect to be sitting here again for a while. This has been like skiing in a cartoon where you go up the mountain and down the mountain and up and down. Right now, we are pretty high up on it because we realized that we were actually going to have to work for a living this summer.”

Okay, I’m sure the Whedon-ites will want to know every last word that Joss had to say, but for the sake of those who – like myself – still have good intentions of playing catch-up before Season 2 begins, I’ll do you the favor of waiting ’til post-jump to offer up his comments.

“The first thing I did was get together with my writers and start talking about what possibilities there were,” said Whedon, “and what we discovered was that the possibilities were entirely limitless. We had more excitement and enthusiasm about the show than we did by a country mile last year, because we are in it now. Before, it was an idea, and it was an idea that we had a lot of trouble defining…and America got to watch that. And now we feel like it is defined. The network understands what it is, we understand what it is, and we know what our cast is capable of, which is wonders. So we came in just with the most excitement, and we been having a great deal of fun ever since.

“We are wrapping today right after this the first episode, starting the second one on Monday, and from ‘go,’ the mandate has been, ‘How far can we take this?’ How much can we twist the knife? Where can we find alliances that we did not have where can we pull people apart who seem to be together? And, most importantly, how can we build Echo up from nothing – which is basically where she started last year – and really give her a sense of momentum and purpose that will ground the show in a way that it couldn’t be last year?

“And that has been sort of our mission statement: to make things harder for everybody, find ways to bring back all the extraordinary reoccurring actors we had, and, most importantly, let things begin to cohere. And the good news about that is, once they do, Echo starts really realizing that, as a person, she not only exists but that she has a mission, that she has something she wants. This year, we are going to see the results of everything she went through last year, particularly the event with Alpha, where she was downloaded with all of her personalities. We are going to see what effect that’s had on her, and we are going to find her to be a great deal less passive and a great deal more directed in what she wants. And that is, of course, going to make her life a lot harder. And the more she finds out about what is going on around her, and the more we find out, the creepier it is going to get. Because creepy is what it makes it fun.”

And with that, Whedon concluded his opening remarks by simply saying, “Welcome to Season Two.”

From there, we entered the Q&A portion of our visit, and I’ll just offer up a few random tidbits that came out of that discussion:

* The future which has been witnessed in “Epitaph One” will be seen again in the second season premiere, to serve as a bookend of sorts. Whedon admits that it’s a bit of a risky move, given that the episode wasn’t aired and therefore won’t have been seen by the casual viewer, but he and his writers were just too fascinated by the future they’d created to throw it away. Fortunately, the Season Two premiere will take that into consideration.

“It will say what that episode said,” he said, “which is that all of this will result in disaster. But this is the story order of what happened then, so the actual bulk of the show takes place three months after the events of Omega. We will be visiting that future every now and then, but it will not be something where we can change it or where we send people back in time or anybody has metal under their flesh. I love that stuff, but apparently that gets you canceled.”

* Echo has gone to a new level this season, and it will start to become obvious as early as the season premiere. “We will see that she has a cohesiveness and a mission that make every engagement mean a great deal more to her,” said Whedon. “As Echo, she has her own agenda, which is something she didn’t quite have, and we did sort of build to that in Omega, where she had been dumped with all the personalities and we heard her say her name. At the end of this episode, we are going to see how far she’s come, and it’s a little further than the people around her know. We are going to see her as we know her, and then we are going to see something very different. And that is pretty much all I can say.”

At this point, Whedon said, “I have a very homely and shy bunch of people to introduce,” thereby giving the cue for the cast to come out of the shadows and take their seats alongside their lord and master.

The truth of the matter is that the critics still continued to address the majority of their questions to Joss (which is how we found out conclusively that Amy Acker will, despite her series attachment elsewhere, still be making further appearances on “Dollhouse,” if not as many as he’d like), but we still managed to hear from a couple of the cast members when someone asked the group as a whole if the show feels different for them as they go into the second season.

Tahmoh Penikett (Paul Ballard): “I would say so. Yeah, I would say so completely. It is impossible not to get caught up in the first season. It’s a new series, and there are so many growing pains you go through in a first season. I have been through it before, and there’s a lot of insecurity involved. It’s hard to not be affected by it. I personally have been so excited (about Season 2). When we all saw each other for the gallery shoot, there was just a lightness about it. Everyone was very excited. It’s about the work this year. We can have fun.”

Fran Kranz (Topher Brink): “It certainly feels like it gets better and better, right? I
mean, I’m getting Episode One of Season Two, and it feels like it’s the best thing yet. And I feel like relationships have changed. All of the sudden, the character Paul is here with us, you know what I mean? So just in little ways like that, the show has sort of transformed. But, yeah, I think it just gets better and better.”

Eliza Duskhu (Echo): “I was just going to say that I am already sort of astonished by the emotions and actions and reactions just in the last eight days, just this episode. Yesterday, I full on burst into tears in the middle of the take. It was a giant scene with Bamber, and there was something that happened, and I haven’t had that kind of…I was just surprised at my emotion and hadn’t really had that. I was, like, ‘All right, this is kind of a nice kick off for the season: Everything out on the table!” We’ve already had the first season to sort of have our insecurities and have our guard and a little bit of that, and now we just get to open it up and search into humanity with you.”

I’ll close by offering up this last bit to you. Call a gift to the Whedon-ites, if you like…

Reporter: How does it feel to know, whether or not it’s true, that (Fox President of Entertainment) Kevin Reilly says he is motivated by fear of your fans?

Whedon: He should fear them. God knows we do. I think he was probably motivated by what we are all motivated by. (Laughs) It is definitely true that the fans made themselves heard. But all they did by “making themselves heard” was by loving the thing. By DVR-ing it, by putting numbers up that are not the traditional Nielsen numbers. There was no angry campaign. There was no “send them bottles of something.” There wasn’t any of that. It was, in particular, the studio’s understanding that the math of television is different than it used to be, and that the shows that we make may not go out as broad as something as “Lost,” but that the fans will come to them forever, and that that revenue stream does not dry up, however thin it may be. That is the thing that ultimately motivated them. You know, the numbers have never been my concern. I have never done huge numbers. I am not a big-hit guy. What I do is find the best ensembles on television, and then I make them work their asses off. And as long as I get to do that, I am in clover.

Then came last Friday’s episode, where “Dollhouse” creator Joss Whedon launched the show into space.

He first played with the idea that Echo, Victor and Sierra were engaged in a secret alliance with the news that Sierra had been having sex and was suddenly terrified of Victor. It doesn’t take long for Boyd, the Dixon to Echo’s Sydney Bristow, to realize that the perp is a fellow handler, and DeWitt gives the handler a choice: take out Mellie, the nosy neighbor of Agent Ballard who Knows Too Much, or get sent to the Attic. (Man, I can’t wait until they finally show us what that place looks like.) Ballard, who’s out getting takeout and realizes that Mellie is in danger, races back while making a call. We see Mellie’s phone ringing as the handler is slowly choking the life out of her. Then the answering machine picks up, and we hear…DeWitt. “There are three flowers in a vase. The third one is green.” Ta-da, instant can of whoopass. Mellie beats the snot out of the handler, killing him in seconds. Then DeWitt says, “There are three flowers in a vase. The third one is yellow.” Poof, she’s back to being “normal” Mellie.

Holy crap.

“Don’t arrest me yet. She hasn’t heard my bit about the KFC bowls, it kills ’em every time.”

This was awesome on a number of levels. For starters, I never suspected that Mellie was a doll. She doesn’t quite have the body type that the other dolls have, though that actually makes her a perfect choice for a role like this. Second of all, the dolls can be activated and deactivated by remote voice command? Again, holy crap. I’m assuming that the third flower in that metaphorical vase is red. What happens to a doll when she uses that line? Does it make them catatonic?

Whedon also pulled another neat trick in doing a story where someone uses the Dollhouse for harmless, and rather sweet, purposes. Patton Oswalt guest starred as an Internet millionaire who planned on surprising his wife with a brand new house, but she was killed in a car accident on her way to see it. So every year on the day of her death, he hires a doll to relive that moment that he never had with his wife. Awwwww, isn’t that cute? Gee, maybe the Dollhouse isn’t so bad after all, right? Mmmmm, wouldn’t go that far, but it does make the ethical aspects of programmable people slightly grayer than it would appear on the surface.

The episode’s Big Reveal, though, was the fact that there is a mole in the Dollhouse, and they used Echo to send a message to Agent Ballard that he has an ally on the inside. On the surface, it would appear that the only person with the ability to slip that kind of thing under Topher’s nose would be his underutilized assistant Ivy, but does she have access to enough information to bring the Dollhouse down, and would she have known that there are over 20 Dollhouses around the world? Doubtful, which is why my money is on Dr. Claire Saunders (my beloved Amy Acker) as the mole. She was horribly disfigured by Alpha, which gives her motive, and as their medical chief of staff, she would have access to lots of data. Plus, you have to know that Whedon isn’t going to recruit Acker for the show and then have her spend most of the time on the bench.

The problem with all this, of course, is that it’s possible Whedon waited too long to get the show rolling. The show isn’t cheap, and Fox certainly has it in its sights when time comes to trim the budget. It needs a huge spike in ratings — it actually needs a better time slot, but that’s another story — but will they get one? If Whedon delivers another episode as great as this one, that should be enough to rally the Browncoats into action. Stay tuned.

“Hi, I’m Joss Whedon. You may remember me from such shows as ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer,’ ‘Angel,’ and ‘Firefly.’ Or perhaps my internet sensation, ‘Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog.’ Or, of course, my role as Douglas the car rental clerk in the famous ‘Rat Saw God’ episode of ‘Veronica Mars.’ And let’s not forget that I also wrote the screenplay for ‘Toy Story.’ Basically, what I’m trying to say is that I’m awesome, and you should watch my new show, ‘Dollhouse,’ because I created it, and everything I create is genius. And also because Eliza Dushku is hot.”

The above is, in fact, not an actual quote from Joss Whedon. It is, however, a nice summation of the things that Fox is hoping you’ll remember and keep in mind when tuning into “Dollhouse.” There are a lot of rumblings about how the show is only “meh,” and how if it was by anyone else, it wouldn’t inspire anyone to watch beyond the pilot episode. I’m here to tell you that this isn’t…well, okay, I can’t say it’s completely untrue. In fact, there’s some stuff that goes down during the first 15 minutes of the episode that will make you feel like you’re being hit over the head with a hammer, so obvious is it attempting to set up the show. Survive beyond that, however, and you’ll probably find yourself intrigued enough to come back next week.

“Dollhouse” begins with Echo (Dushku) and Adelle DeWitt (Olivia Williams) sitting in an office, with the latter trying to pitch an opportunity of sorts to the former. DeWitt is having limited success with her attempts to sell Echo on her offer of “a clean slate,” with Echo arguing, “Have you ever tried to clean an actual slate? You always see what was on it before.” (Foreshadowing, ahoy!) We quickly determine, however, that DeWitt’s suggestion that Echo might want to volunteer for this mysterious project – which comes with a bonus plan of providing Echo with her freedom after a mere five years – is really just an example of the British being incapable of impoliteness. In truth, Echo has no real choice in the matter…and, frankly, she’s a little pissed off by that.

“I don’t deserve this,” Echo snaps. “I was just trying to make a difference, trying to take my place in the world, y’know, like she always said.”

The question, obviously, is…who is this “she“?

Well, presumably, Echo knows, but as we soon learn, just because Echo knows something doesn’t mean the memories are there for the long haul. And thus begins the lengthy stage-setting sequence, where Echo rides a motorbike, burns up the dancefloor in an incredibly short skirt, and then heads back to the Dollhouse – as her new home is colloquially called – for a quick memory wipe. Yes, it certainly gets the job done as far as introducing the viewer to the show’s concept. The only problem: it’s really, really heavy-handed. C’mon, wasn’t there some less leaden way of tackling how short-term Echo’s relationships are without forcing us to endure this exchange…?

Dude: Listen, I know at the beginning of the weekend, we said no strings…
Echo: We also said no ropes, and look how long that lasted.
Dude: Yeah, I remember. I remember it all. I always will.
Echo: What, like I’d forget?

Oh, God, that’s bad. It’s so bad that I feel like I have to blame its inclusion on someone at the network, because I just can’t believe Joss is responsible for such a God-awful chunk of dialogue as that. Thankfully, nothing else in the pilot ever plummets to the depths of this scene, but it’s still a memory that you won’t soon forget…which, come to think of it, is kinda ironic.

As soon as Echo leaves her boy-toy behind, we begin to be introduced to the team at the Dollhouse; first, there’s Boyd Langton (Harry Lennix), who serves as Echo’s “handler,” and then there’s Topher Brink (Fran Kranz), the scientist responsible for the imprinting and removal of the personalities of the Actives, as they’re called. Boyd is a man with a heavy heart, who clearly isn’t thrilled about this whole memory-wiping thing, especially on occasions like this one, where Echo feels like she’s found the perfect guy. Topher, meanwhile, is a smart-ass with the potential to become a complete jack-ass, but at least he’s given dialogue that can truly be called Whedon-esque. Laurence Dominic (Reed Diamond), meanwhile, is the Dollhouse’s head of security, and he apparently answers directly to Ms. DeWitt. This, we soon learn, is not necessarily the best position for one to be in; although Ms. DeWitt might have been polite to Echo, she clearly has no problem being rather bitchy to just about everyone else who works beneath her.

When we first meet Dr. Claire Saunders (Amy Acker), there’s a brief moment where it seems quite clear that Joss is teasing the fanboys out there, by having the woman who once played Winifred “Fred” Burkle ask the woman formerly known as Faith, “Would you like a massage?” But before the fantasy can be fulled, Doc Saunders ruins everything by adding, “I’ll set that up.” Dammit! Also in the mix: the exotic-looking Sierra (Dichen Lachman), who’s the most recent addition to the team of Actives and the one who’s getting her indoctrination, such as it is, when Echo follows the screams of agony to their source. She successfully fights through the pain, though, as she turns up later in the episode as part of Echo’s mission, essentially playing the bad cop to Echo’s good cop.

The last series regular is Paul Ballard (Tahmoh Penikett), an FBI agent who’s assigned to investigate the Dollhouse. He’s been on the case for 14 months and describes his progress to his superiors as “slow,” but in that time, he’s physically threatened a senator, disrupted a seven-year human trafficking investigation, and been arrested for trespassing on a prince’s yacht…so, you know, at least he’s keeping busy. His supervisor doesn’t even believe that the Dollhouse exists, referring to it as “a joke,” but for his lack of accomplishment, Ballard is still dedicated to the case, and he knows full well that it must exist…or, at least, that someone higher up the food chain thinks it exists…or else he would’ve been given a new assignment a long time ago.

Once we get past that awful introductory segment, things do begin to get interesting. We see Echo in her “blank slate” state, but we see that, despite the fact that she should be clean as a whistle, she has more curiosity than the average Active. We also get a good idea of how this whole implanted-memories thing works…both for good (how perfectly she takes on the traits and abilities of her new identity because, well, as far as she knows, that’s who she is) and for bad (each identity is apparently based on a real person, which means that she has their flaws as well). It does strike me as a bit odd that people with enough money to hire an Active wouldn’t just get a professional, i.e. someone who really does do this stuff for a living, to get the job done better. But I understand: if I don’t buy into the concept, then I’m never going to enjoy the show. So for the time being, I’m trying to buy into it.

I just hope Joss doesn’t let me down…and, for that matter, I hope Eliza doesn’t, either. The show is really going to live or die by her ability to pull off a credible performance of a different personality each week. We really haven’t seen all that much range from Ms. Dushku over the years, and there are a lot of folks out there who are skeptical that she can carry a role which requires as much diversity as Echo does.

But, hey, Joss is awesome and Eliza is hot, so I’m in. For now.

Our inspiration was innocuous enough: as fervent “24” watchers – and occasional haters – the entire Bullz-Eye staff fell head over heels for one of the terror thriller’s female leads. Smart but challenging, tough but vulnerable, every minute that she wasn’t on screen – provided Jack wasn’t killing or maiming someone, of course – was just wasted time. Eventually, we declared her to be the official girlfriend of Bullz-Eye, because she was the only girl we could all agree on. We’re talking, of course, about…

Chloe O’Brian.

What, you were thinking Michelle Dessler? Nina Myers? Kim Bauer? First Lady Sherry Palmer? Mandy the bisexual assassin? Good guesses all, but none of them hold a candle to Chloe and her delightfully quirky “personality disorder,” as her supervisor Bill Buchanan succinctly put it. Once we had christened her, though, we wanted more girlfriends. Eventually we went all “Big Love” on the boob tube (oh man, do we deserve to be slapped for that one) and started appropriating women from dozens of shows to join our burgeoning harem.

And now, our harem is having its debutante ball, its season premiere, if you will. We have hand-selected 100 women from the last 40 years of television and put them into ten categories, based on personality type, career, intelligence (or lack thereof) and even marital status. We’ll unveil a new list each month, and you, gentle reader, will tell us which ones you would most like to have as your girlfriend. Once we’ve whittled the list down to one girlfriend from each category, we’ll pit them against each other and get the hell out of the way.

With that in mind, it is our great pleasure to introduce the first group: Hot and Smart.

Liz Lemon (Tina Fey, “30 Rock”)
With her quirky sense of humor, social ineptness and those sexy librarian glasses, Liz Lemon may be the only true-blue nerd on our list. That, of course, is anything but an insult. As the head writer for NBC’s “TGS with Tracy Jordan,” Liz doesn’t have a whole lot of free time to date, and even when she does go out, chances are she’ll figure out a way to sabotage the whole thing. But Liz’s foibles merely make her that much more endearing, even if the incessant “tick-tick-tick” of her internal clock understandably makes us a little nervous. Then again, there are worse things in life than settling down with an attractive, intelligent and successful woman who loves junk food, “Star Wars” and a good joke. Her boss, Jack Donaghy, still suspects that Liz may be a lesbian, but we’re not ashamed to admit that the mere possibility only heightens our interest in her. Plus, she kind of looks like the beautiful (if slightly crazy) Sarah Palin.

Dr. Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson, “The X-Files”)
Smart, tough, beautiful – Scully is an insecure man’s worst nightmare. She challenged and contradicted Mulder at every turn, and even though she was usually some version of wrong, it never deterred her. Always the skeptic, she somewhat grounded her partner by demanding some sort of logic and scientific proof. Wrangling Mulder was like herding cats, but Scully might have had a little feline in her as well – she avoided death on several occasions leading to the theory that she was, in fact, immortal. It’s more likely that she was just too stubborn to die. She stared down countless psychopaths, supernatural beings, aliens — you name it — and always came back for more. This quality — her fierce and undying loyalty — was her greatest trait. True, the woman could be a giant pain in the ass, but Fox always knew that she would have his back, and that’s why he eventually fell in love with her. And really, who can blame him?

To see the rest of Bullz-Eye’s Hot & Smart TV Girlfriends and vote for your favorite, click here. We will announce the winner – and the nominees for our next group, Pretty, Vacant – on Friday, February 27.