But I digress.

Sort of.

It probably is worth noting that, unlike ABC, CBS, NBC, and, yes, even Fox, The CW held their upfront without providing photos, let alone videos, to accompany their new fall series…and since there are only two of them, you’d think they could’ve at least managed to throw together logos for them to serve as preliminary artwork. Instead, I’m stuck falling back on the tried and true network logo.

Yawn.

Okay, sorry, that really was a digression…and, as it turned out, a mostly unnecessary one, since the photos had appeared on The CW’s press site by 10:30 AM EST. Still, that was well after the press release about the fall schedule went out…a press release which, FYI, required two revisions due to various accidental omissions. I’m just saying.

Anyway, on with the show(s)…

MONDAY

8 – 9 PM: 90210

9 – 10 PM: Gossip Girl

TUESDAY

8 – 9 PM: One Tree Hill

9 – 10 PM: Life Unexpected

WEDNESDAY

8 – 9 PM: America’s Next Top Model

9 – 10 PM: Hellcats: a coming-of-age story about Marti Perkins, a young, pre-law student at Lancer University in Memphis, Tennessee. Marti is cool, hip and alt, but her world flips upside down, literally and figuratively, when she loses her scholarship, and realizes the only way she can stay in school is by reigniting her dormant teen gymnastic skills to win a place on Lancer’s legendary cheerleading team, The Hellcats. Against her every instinct, Marti goes for it and makes the squad, and is thrust into a world of camaraderie, backstabbing and the intersection of sports, backroom academia and big money.

Marti’s new roommate, Savannah Monroe, a petite, peppy Texan, is among the diverse cast of athletes, undergrads, family and friends, all set on the sprawling campus of a powerhouse college football program in the deep South. The series stars Aly Michalka as Marti Perkins, Ashley Tisdale as Savannah Monroe, Heather Hemmens as Alice Verdura, Robbie Jones as Lewis Flynn, Matt Barr as Dan Patch, with Sharon Leal as Vanessa Lodge and Gail O’Grady as Wanda Perkins. “Hellcats” is executive produced by Kevin Murphy (“Desperate Housewives”), Tom Welling (“Smallville”), and Allan Arkush (“Heroes,” “Crossing Jordan”). The pilot was directed by Arkush.

THURSDAY

8 – 9 PM: The Vampire Diaries

9 -10 PM: Nikita: When she was a deeply troubled teenager, Nikita was rescued from death row by a secret U.S. agency known only as Division, who faked her execution and told her she was being given a second chance to start a new life and serve her country. What they didn’t tell her was that she was being trained as a spy and assassin. Ultimately, Nikita was betrayed and her dreams shattered by the only people she thought she could trust. Now, after three years in hiding, Nikita is seeking retribution and making it clear to her former bosses that she will stop at nothing to expose and destroy their covert operation.

For the time being, however, Division continues to recruit and train other young people, erasing all evidence of their former lives and turning them into cold and efficient killers. One of these new recruits, Alex, is just beginning to understand what lies ahead for her and why the legendary Nikita made the desperate decision to run. The series stars Maggie Q as Nikita, Lyndsy Fonseca as Alex, Shane West as Michael, Aaron Stanford as Birkhoff, Ashton Holmes as Thom, Tiffany Hines as Jaden, with Melinda Clarke as Amanda and Xander Berkeley as Percy. “Nikita” is executive produced by Craig Silverstein (“Bones,” “K-Ville”), Danny Cannon (“CSI: Crime Scene Investigation,” “Chuck”), McG (“Supernatural,” “Chuck,” “The O.C.,” “Charlie’s Angels”), and Peter Johnson (“Supernatural,” “Chuck”). The pilot was directed by Cannon.

FRIDAY

8 – 9 PM: Smallville:

9 – 10 PM: Supernatural:

Canceled:

* Melrose Place
* Fly Girls
* High Society

New at midseason:

* Plain Jane: a new summer reality series that transforms one woman from the inside out to reveal a brand new woman. Each of the eight episodes will feature a new “Jane” searching for the change of a lifetime. With the help of British fashion expert Louise Roe (“Fashion Police: The 2009 Grammy Awards”), each Plain Jane will receive a head-to-toe style transformation, including new wardrobe and confidence-building exercises. Once the transformation is complete, the formerly Plain Jane will surprise her unsuspecting crush with the new look and reveal her true feelings to him. A love connection is – or isn’t – made. Hosted by Louise Roe, “Plain Jane” is executive produced by Allison Grodner (“Big Brother”), Rich Meehan (“Big Brother”) and Amy Palmer (“You’re Cut Off”).

* Shedding for the Wedding (tentative title): They are two of the most stressful things in life – planning a wedding and losing weight. Ten overweight engaged couples will live together and battle for the wedding of their dreams over a three-month period. Every episode, the couples will face off in a big physical challenge, competing to win one element of their wedding – from the invitations, to the cake, to the rings. Whatever they win will be theirs to keep. Together, they will plan their weddings with the help of the nation’s top wedding planners, they will take a vow to eat right and exercise, and world-class trainers and nutritionists will completely overhaul their bodies. At the end of each episode, the couples will step on the scale and be weighed together – the couple who lost the least amount of combined weight that week will be eliminated. In the end, one couple will win their fantasy wedding – a once-in-a-lifetime event – that America will attend. “Shedding for the Wedding” – again, this is a working title – is executive produced by Dave Broome (“The Biggest Loser”) and Rick Hurvitz (“Pimp My Ride”).

* After a year which found some pretty impressive increases in the number of young women viewers (77 percent on Mondays, 26 percent on Tuesdays), they’re going to try and build on that momentum and make their schedule more cohesive. They’re viewing themselves less as a network and more as a magazine, where people come to see what’s going on in the world. That perhaps would explain why I always feel so horribly out of touch whenever I tune in.

* The CW has stepped away from sitcoms at the moment because they can’t seem to find any which are “loud enough or noisy enough to get the attention that we get from our drama and reality shows.” In fact, they didn’t have a single sitcom in the running this season.

* Why the move of “Smallville” to Friday nights? “We felt it was the best way to open up the night,” she said, since Fridays had previously been more of a standalone night for the network. Is this the last season for the show? “I hope it isn’t. Zod is going to be the big villain this season, and Clark has to save the world, or we’re all going to be kneeling before Zod.” She says the cast and producers are excited, and she has high hopes that the show will stay on the air for awhile.

* What about seeing Michael Rosenbaum return as Lex Luthor, since he’s still talked about constantly? “I don’t know if we really had a conversation with Michael, but I think the talk was to keep the character alive and make his presence felt.” She I don’t know if (a return) will happen this season.”

* Similarly, the hope is that “Supernatural” will also continue. “Eric Kripke has done a great job creatively, and the show’s gotten better every year.”

* What does she say to a 35-year-old guy who wants to know what he can find on the network? Her response was to reel off most of The CW’s lineup and suggest that guys watch almost all of them, even “America’s Next Top Model,” even if they don’t necessarily want to admit it. But with that said, she also defended their decision to be specific about the demographic they’re courting…which is good, because, wow, talk about a total cop-out of an answer. (A 35-year-old guy can find something to watch anywhere if he doesn’t want to admit that he watches it!)

* The much-hyped “Gossip Girl” spin-off that never got off the group has now officially been given the status of “not likely.”

* “Body Politic,” the pilot which took a look at Washington politics through the eyes of up-and-coming staffers, is officially dead.

* How about a “90210” crossover? “Technically, we could do that,” she said, “because both shows are shot in L.A. I think down the road, after ‘Melrose’ gets up and running, we would consider that. It would be a big event for us.”

* As far as Mischa Barton’s health, the only real concern was that she was ready for production…and she was. “We’re happy that she’s better,” said Ostroff, “and what went on in her personal life is her business.” A question about the fact that she looks heavier in current photos than she did in the original presentation we saw for “The Beautiful Life,” asked in the context about whether re-shoots would be required, was met simply with assurances that “she looks great.”

Are you kidding me?

Okay, that’s all I’ve got. I’m just really pissed off about that and needed to get it out of my system. Read on to see what else The CW has in stores for “the kids” this season…

MONDAY

8:00 PM – Gossip Girl
9:00 PM – One Tree Hill

TUESDAY

8:00 PM – 90210
9:00 PM – Melrose Place

In an elegant Spanish-style apartment building in the trendy Melrose neighborhood of Los Angeles, a diverse group of 20-somethings have formed a close-knit surrogate family. Sydney Andrews (Laura Leighton) is the landlady, still beautiful at 40, and a central figure in the lives of all her tenants, especially handsome and rebellious David Breck (Shaun Sipos). Sydney started an affair with David despite her turbulent history with his estranged father, Dr. Michael Mancini (Thomas Calabro). Both father and son learned through experience that Sydney was not above using blackmail to control people. Another tenant, high-powered publicist Ella Simms (Katie Cassidy), once considered Sydney her mentor, but their friendship was destroyed by betrayal, and Sydney threatened to evict Ella and ruin her career. Sydney also played a pivotal role in the career of Auggie Kirkpatrick (Colin Egglesfield). After they met at an AA meeting, she became Auggie’s sponsor and encouraged his dream to become a chef. Now a successful sous chef at the trendy restaurant Coal, Auggie has been avoiding Sydney since she began drinking again. The other tenants include Lauren Yung (Stephanie Jacobsen), a medical student in desperate need of money to pay her student loans, and Jonah Miller (Michael Rady), an aspiring filmmaker who has just proposed to his live-in girlfriend Riley Richmond (Jessica Lucas), a first-grade teacher. The newest tenant, 18-year-old Violet Foster (Ashlee Simpson-Wentz), has just arrived in LA with her own secret connection to Sydney. When a bloody body is found floating in the courtyard pool, David is the leading suspect. However, as the police are soon to discover, almost everyone living at Melrose Place had a reason to want the deceased out of the way.

WEDNESDAY

8:00 PM – America’s Next Top Model
9:00 PM – The Beautiful Life

The life of a high-fashion model appears glamorous and sexy, but as every new model quickly learns, behind the beautiful façade is a world of insecurity and cutthroat competition. Two teenage models who are about to discover this world for themselves are Raina Collins (Sara Paxton), a stunning beauty with a secret past, and Chris Andrews (Benjamin Hollingsworth), a strikingly handsome Iowa farm boy. When Raina makes an unforgettable impression at a show introducing the new line from designer Zac Posen, she steals the spotlight from her friend Sonja (Mischa Barton). Sonja has been out of the country for mysterious reasons and is now desperate to reclaim her standing as the reigning supermodel. While Raina and Sonja live at the top of the fashion food chain, Chris is starting at the bottom, having just been discovered by agent Simon Lockridge (Dusan Dukic) of the Covet Modeling Agency, which is owned by former supermodel Claudia Foster (Elle Macpherson). At his first photo shoot, Chris’ inexperience almost derails his career until Raina comes to his rescue, showing him how to relax and work the camera. That afternoon, Raina brings Chris to the “models’ residence” where she lives along with other young hopefuls, including Marissa Delfina (Ashley Madekwe), Egan (Jordan Woolley), Issac (Corbin Bleu) and the current alpha-male-model known as Kai (Nico Tortorella). At an exclusive industry party that night, Chris is again impressed by Raina’s generosity when she steps aside to make sure Sonja lands a job that will resurrect her career. However, after an ugly scene with Simon, Chris is left to question whether he can survive in this world of dangerous excess and fleeting fame.

THURSDAY

8:00 PM – Vampire Diaries

Four months after the tragic car accident that killed their parents, 17-year-old Elena Gilbert (Nina Dobrev) and her 15-year-old brother, Jeremy (Steven R. McQueen) are still trying to cope with their grief and move on with their lives. Elena has always been the star student; beautiful, popular and involved with school and friends, but now she finds herself struggling to hide her sadness from the world. As the school year begins, Elena and her friends are fascinated by a handsome and mysterious new student, Stefan Salvatore (Paul Wesley). Stefan and Elena are immediately drawn to one another, and Elena has no way of knowing that Stefan is a centuries-old vampire, struggling to live peacefully among humans, while his brother Damon (Ian Somerhalder) is the embodiment of vampire violence and brutality. Now these two vampire brothers ─ one good, one evil ─ are at war for Elena’s soul and for the souls of her friends, family and all the residents of the small town of Mystic Falls, Virginia. Based on the series of books by L. J. Smith.

9:00 PM – Supernatural

FRIDAY

8:00 PM – Smallville
9:00 PM – America’s Next Top Model (encore)

Arriving sometime mid-season

* Parental Discretion Advised

After spending all of her 15 years bouncing from one foster family to another in Portland, Oregon, Lux (Britt Robertson) has decided it’s time to take control of her life and become an emancipated minor. Her journey through the legal maze leads Lux to her biological father, 30-something Nate “Baze” Bazile (Kristoffer Polaha), who owns a bar, lives like an aging frat-boy with two slacker roommates, and is astonished to learn that he has a teenage daughter. Lux is equally astonished when Baze reveals that her mother is Cate Cassidy (Shiri Appleby), a star on the local “Morning Madness” radio show, along with her on-air partner and real-life boyfriend, Ryan Thomas (Kerr Smith). Lux has been listening to Cate’s voice on the radio as long as she can remember, so she feels an instant connection with the mom she’s never met. Baze takes Lux to meet Cate, who is shocked and saddened to learn that Lux has grown up in foster care, but thrilled to finally meet her beautiful daughter. When a judge decides that Lux isn’t ready for emancipation and unexpectedly grants temporary joint custody to Baze and Cate, they agree to try to get past the awkwardness and make a belated attempt to give Lux the family she deserves.

Finally, for a fans of Hollywood-style jewelry, find great selection at John Hardy, the original green designer, creating “sustainable luxury” since 1989.

Says Hibberd:

To make way for “Reaper,” the CW also advanced its first-season finale date for “Privileged.” The show will conclude Feb. 24, having aired fewer repeats than originally planned. The network has not yet decided whether the drama will return next season. “90210” has been wrestling with “Idol” in recent weeks. Yet it and “Privileged” enjoy the highest percentage of DVR gains among any show on any network.

I don’t want to sound like a pessimist, but while I think we can count on both “90210” and “Privileged” making it back in Fall 2009 (I can’t believe they won’t keep both shows at least into a sophomore season, given the importance of DVR stats in today’s TV), the odds of “Reaper” seeing a third year are already looking slim…and it hasn’t even premiered yet! The CW already hedged their bets with the show’s second year by only giving it a 13-episode commitment, and this maneuver stinks of someone at the network saying, “If it’s a hit, awesome, and if it’s not…well, we didn’t really expect it to be, anyway, so it’s no skin off our nose!”

ADDENDUM: Tyler Labine has been one of my Facebook friends ever since I interviewed him for Bullz-Eye, and when he changed his status this morning to indicate that he was “off to LA to get a new gig,” I immediately responded by asking, “Wow, is there really that little hope for a third season of ‘Reaper’?” He quickly replied, “No, no, just a big hiatus to fill up with gigs. Just a few movie ops. Season 3 is a definite maybe right now. I’ll keep everyone posted.” Oh, okay: if he’s hopeful, then I reckon can find it in my heart to be hopeful as well.

1. “The Big Bang Theory,” CBS

No other sophomore series came roaring out of the gate like this one. Fears that the show had already jumped the shark by getting Leonard and Penny together were dismissing before the end of the second-season premiere, the addition of Sara Gilbert to the cast was an added bonus, and the suggestion that Sheldon is a sex object to physics geeks is almost too funny for words. Mark my words: this is the year that Jim Parsons earns his first Emmy nomination.

2. “30 Rock,” NBC
There’s no truth to the rumor that you can’t be a member of the Television Critics Association if you don’t like “30 Rock,” but, really, what’s not to like? Tina Fey is both gorgeous and hilarious, Alec Baldwin can’t open his mouth without getting a laugh, and, come to think of it, there’s really no-one in this ensemble who isn’t funny. So why do they keep bringing on all of these guest stars? Beats me. But since they incorporate them so well into the episodes, it’s hard to complain.

3. “Life on Mars,” ABC
When I did my 2008 Fall TV Preview, I hadn’t yet seen the pilot for this series, but if I had, it would’ve beaten out “Fringe” for the top spot on my list of new shows I was most excited about. Rising above its “based on a British series” origins, “Life on Mars” has one of the strongest casts on television (Jason O’Mara, Harvey Keitel, Michael Imperioli, Gretchen Mol, and Jonathan Murphy), a great premise (a police detective gets knocked unconscious in 2008 and wakes up in 1973), and – perhaps most impressively – managed to survive its network’s recent purge of quality dramas. For God’s sake, don’t let it go the way of “Pushing Daisies.” If you haven’t watched it yet, it’s not too late.

“John Adams,” HBO
I’m not just saying this because I had the chance to meet many of the major players involved in this production, nor because one of my good friends from high school appeared as an extra. The truth of the matter is that “John Adams” is fantastic on multiple levels: great cast, great script, and incredible attention to detail in its reproduction of a bygone era. What matters most in the end, however, is that it truly does make history come alive and proves enthralling whether you’re a history buff or not. By the end of the production (if not long before then), it will succeed in something that hasn’t always been that easy to accomplish in recent years by making you proud to be an American.

“90210,” The CW
I can’t really explain this. I didn’t watch the original “90210,” so it’s not like I owed any particular allegiance to the series, but as a card-carrying TV geek, there’s always been something fascinating about the concept of reviving a show several years after its original run. Besides, just because I didn’t actually watch the original doesn’t mean that I didn’t know that I was supposed to be excited about seeing Jennie Garth and Shannen Doherty together again. It’s cool for critics to like “Gossip Girl,” but I somehow feel like I’m not supposed to admit that I kinda dig this series, but I do. Granted, the adults feel like they’re way better written than the teens, but maybe it only seems that way because I’m old and out of touch. Wow, I’m feeling even guiltier about this now that I was when I started. Wait, maybe I should’ve just pretended that I’m watching it because my wife wants to watch it. Yeah, actually, let’s pretend I said that instead and just scratch all of that other stuff.

“Farmer Wants a Wife,” The CW
It’s hard enough for someone who loves scripted television to admit that they watch any reality shows, but then maybe that’s why, when I finally decide to watch one, I make it the most perverse choice possible. At the tail end of 2007 and the very, very beginning of 2008, I watched every single episode of “Crowned: The Mother of All Pageants,” but it feels wrong to give that series the award, since it began its run last year. Instead, I’ll give it to an equally ridiculous reality-show entry that ran on the same network. “Farmer Wants A Wife,” where an upstanding young gentleman from Missouri went hunting for a suitable spouse, was car-wreck television at its finest. Particular kudos to the producers for waiting until two episodes before the finale – a point when no-one caught up in the show would ever bail out – to offer up an elimination challenge where each of the farmer’s future fiancées had to reach inside a cow’s rectum to see if the bovine was pregnant…and bonus points for airing it while I was eating a late dinner. Every moment was painful, but damned if I wasn’t there from premiere to finale.

“The Soup,” E!
I used to stop by “Talk Soup” whenever it was on, and no matter who the host was, I always enjoyed it, but for whatever reason, it just never ended up as part of my customary viewing schedule. This summer, I attended a panel for “The Soup,” where Joel McHale held court, and…well, something just clicked. I’ve since added it to my TiVo season pass list, and I’ve laughed heartily week after week. I still don’t know what the hell that cat-eating-spaghetti bit was about on “The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet,” but it never fails to make me laugh when Joel brings that kitty out. Or when he offers up a clip of the ever-angry Steve Edwards berating one of his co-anchors. Or when he makes up new meanings for the acronym in “Paris Hilton’s My New B.F.F.” Or…well, basically, I laugh a lot. Long live “The Soup”!

“Code Monkeys,” G4
Maybe it’s because I grew up in the ’80s and can appreciate old-school video-game animation or maybe it’s because I have an occasionally twisted sense of humor, but when I stumbled upon G4’s “Code Monkeys” upon the release of its first season on DVD, I fell in love and immediately added the series to my TiVo Season Pass list, so as to catch Season 2. Mind you, it’s a twisted little show that’s not for all tastes. As I wrote in my review of the Season 1 set, if your sense of humor veers toward the dark side and you immediately thought of “Star Wars” when I used the phrase “the dark side,” then you’ll love it…but you don’t see anything funny about the revelation that Adolf Hitler didn’t actually die in 1945 but was instead frozen in carbonite, then this isn’t the cartoon you’re looking for, so move along.

“Sid the Science Kid,” PBS
Given that it’s a production of Henson Studios, it shouldn’t be any surprise that Sid looks suspiciously Muppet-like, but it’s that vague familiarity that draws kids into this educational show. Blending a certain amount of repetition per episode, such as the song when Sid arrives at school (“I’m looking for my friends / I’m looking for you!”) with Sid’s question of the week (“Why does my banana get mushy?”) is the perfect combination to keep your son or daughter coming back day after day. Plus, Teacher Susie’s songs are often catchy enough to rival the best work of “Schoolhouse Rock.” Don’t believe me? Check out “Checking Out Charts” for proof:

“Gavin & Stacey” and “Primeval,” BBC America
No need to revisit my repeated comments about “Primeval,” except to say that it’s lots and lots of dinosaur-laden awesomeness, but if you’re a fan of shows that blend raucous comedy with unabashed sentimentality without ever falling into the Schmaltz Zone, then you’ll want to check out “Gavin & Stacey” post-haste.

“Aliens in America,” The CW
The network finally found the perfect pairing for the forever-underrated “Everybody Hates Chris” with this excellent sitcom, which blended tales of teen angst with some highly valuable lessons about defeating racial intolerance, but rather than giving either series a prime spot of real estate, they first threw them up against CBS’s Monday night sitcom line-up, then moved them to Sunday night against Fox’s Animation Domination. “Chris” survived through its dedicated fanbase, but “Aliens” never had the chance to build a following. Have these people never heard of the concept of counter-programming? Fingers crossed someone gives the show a DVD release; it’s more than worthy of being replayed. And if that happens, let’s hope someone has the sense to include this show-connected video of PJ Olsson & Salmon Ahmad covering Nick Lowe’s “What’s So Funny ‘Bout Peace, Love and Understanding” as a special feature:

“The Return of Jezebel James,” Fox
There was so much right about this show that I still don’t understand how it could have gone so horribly wrong. It was created by Amy Sherman-Palladino, who brought us the inestimably wonderful “Gilmore Girls,” it starred Parker Posey and Lauren Ambrose, and the premise involved a children’s book editor asking her estranged sister to act as a surrogate mother for her. The problem, as near as I could figure, was that while Posey and Ambrose delivered the dialogue well enough, the timing required to make Sherman-Palladino’s writing really crackle is horribly unsuited for a sitcom with a laugh track. I had high hopes for “Jezebel James” until I actually watched it, but when it left the airwaves after a mere three episodes, I was neither shocked nor in mourning…and based on most reports, neither was anyone else.

“Do Not Disturb,” Fox
The first episode provided to critics inspired me to write, “Sweet Jiminy Christmas, this thing sucked so much that it might as well have been sponsored by Oreck,” and I was not the only one to express such an opinion. Not coincidentally, Fox decided to go with a different episode as the premiere. It didn’t help. The highest praise I could muster for this episode was, “It was in no way as painfully unfunny as the original pilot, but it definitely serves to secure my belief that ‘Do Not Disturb’ will in no way be appointment television for me.” Clearly, the majority of America shared my opinion.

“My Boys,” TBS
Between “The Bill Engvall Show” and “House of Payne,” you can see why people wouldn’t think that TBS would be a place to find a truly hilarious sitcom, but if you dare to venture into the waters of the network, then keep an eye out for “My Boys.” It was one of those series that I didn’t get the chance to investigate until the release of Season 1 on DVD, but once I did, I found myself daring to make a comparison to “Friends,” a point of reference I hadn’t made since “How I Met Your Mother.” It’s true, though: the interaction between the guys and gals on the show really does feel like a bunch of friends hanging out. The writing is hilarious, and if don’t believe me, sit yourself down and watch the first-season episode entitled “Douchebag in the City,” where Brendan gets called out for having turned into a complete and total douche. Season 2 was equally successful, with its storylines involving Stephanie becoming a best-selling author, P.J. letting Bobby inch closer and closer to the altar, and Andy having a “work wife.” When the show returns for Season 3 in 2009, be there.

Too many to count
It’s been really rough going for fans of the hour-long drama this year, especially those which take a step outside of the mainstream with their premises. ABC’s recent cancellation trifecta of “Dirty Sexy Money,” “Eli Stone,” and “Pushing Daisies” was enough to send many TV critics into apoplexy, but the other networks were just as bad. By killing off both “Jericho” and “Moonlight,” a pair of series with some of the most diehard fans this side of “Star Trek,” it’s a wonder CBS is even still standing. NBC’s “Journeyman” stopped airing in ’07 but didn’t formally get the axe ‘til ’08, and when it did, it really pissed off a lot of the Bullz-Eye staff. And while we’ve probably come to expect Fox dramas to get yanked, it never felt like “Canterbury’s Law” got a fair shake, and…am I the only one who really liked “New Amsterdam”? Well, anyway, as you can see, I needed my Xanax prescription more than ever this year…but if you really, really need a definitive one-show answer, then let’s go with “Jericho.” (Side note: can you believe that it’s now being re-run on Sunday nights by The CW? Dare we hope for a comeback…?!?)

“Knight Rider,” NBC
I’ve already admitted that my interest in this series came from my nostalgic feelings toward the Hoff-happy original version, but I just can’t believe there wasn’t some way to do “Knight Rider” without making it feel so God-awful cheesy, especially not when Doug Liman (“The Bourne Identity,” “Mr. & Mrs. Smith”) was one of the executive producers. Unfortunately, the first episode…which the network wisely waited until nearly the last minute to get to critics…offered only the faintest glimmer of hope, and that was quickly extinguished when it became evident that the episode titles were the most clever thing about the series. (Example: “I Wanna Rock and Roll All Knight.”) But NBC still tried to recoup their investment and, instead of canceling it at mid-season, renewed it but got rid of half the cast – including Bruce Davison, who’d given the show its own touch of class that wasn’t vehicular – in a desperate attempt at retooling. Word on the street is that it’s finally being put out of its misery. Good riddance, but let us all remember the moral of the story: “Knight Rider” just ain’t “Knight Rider” without the Hoff.

“The Ex List,” CBS
I’m sure the network thinks they did the right thing by arguing with creator Diane Ruggiero over the direction of the series until she had no choice but to quit. Anyone who watched her hold court during the TCA Press Tour, however, knows what a talented and hilarious woman she is, so I just can’t imagine that her vision for the series wouldn’t have been the right vision for the series. Don’t let the bastards get you down, Diane; I’m already ready to see what you’re working on next.

Square Pegs: The Complete Series
For the longest time, I viewed the release of this show as a gimme, since I figured, hey, it’s Sarah Jessica Parker, she’s the star of “Sex and the City.” As time passed with no release, however, it occurred to me that Sony probably figured that the average “S&TC” fan wouldn’t have any interest in seeing their beloved Carrie Bradshaw playing someone who was…gasp!…uncool. Thankfully, wiser heads prevailed, and “Square Pegs” emerged on DVD this year. Even better, it’s aged remarkably well, offering a look at teen life in the ’80s. It may not resemble present-day high school on the surface, but the existence of cliques will continue until the sun explodes (and possibly beyond), so the inherent message of the show still holds up: not everybody is as pretty as the cast of “Gossip Girl,” “Beverly Hills, 90210,” or “Dawson’s Creek,” and not everyone is out to be tremendously popular. Putting the spotlight on socially-stunted teenagers was always going to be a risk, but Anne Beatts and her crew did a remarkable job of showing a side of high school that was and still is viewed as a dirty little secret. If you liked “Freaks & Geeks,” you should definitely give “Square Pegs” a try.

1. The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour: The Best of Season 3
Well, it’s about time. You can thank the people at Time-Life for fulfilling the dream of many a ’60s rebel who’s been chomping at the bit to revisit this series and see just how controversial it really was. The truth…? Just as Tommy Smothers has been claiming, it really isn’t all that controversial. Most of it is your standard ’60s variety show, albeit with performances from cooler-than-average artists, such as the Doors or Ike & Tina Turner. But as you watch, you’ll find bits and pieces of each episode inspiring raised eyebrows as you wonder how they got away with this or that. This is a fantastic historical document of how a network’s censorship killed a show, and with the combined efforts of the Smothers Brothers and Time-Life, the special features and bonus material paint as full a picture as you could hope for. Need more proof? Well, I just happen to have this commercial handy…

2. M Squad: The Complete Series
What’s the matter, you never knew Lee Marvin did TV? Actually, neither did I until relatively recently. I always thought of him as one of those iconic movie actors, so well-known to me for a particular film…in this case, “The Dirty Dozen”…that it never occurred to me that he did anything but film. As it turns out, however, he starred in the entire 117-episode run of “M Squad,” a gritty black-and-white cop show that’s almost the antithesis of “Dragnet.” Not that Jack Webb didn’t have a menacing way about him at times, but you viewed him as tough only because he was an authority figure. With Lee Marvin, you view him as tough because you know with 100% certainty that he could kick your ass. As you watch “M Squad,” you’ll probably notice that “Police Squad” targeted a lot of this series’ elements, but Marvin is such an imposing figure that, although it’s unquestionably ripe for parody at times, you’ll be gripped throughout every single episode.

3. Mannix: Season 1
When you think “super cool private eye,” you think Jim Rockford, and there’s not necessarily anything wrong with that, but thanks to CBS’s DVD wing, you can see that Joe Mannix was pretty damned awesome in his own right. Mike Connors’ tough-as-nails P.I. changed a bit over the course of his eight-season run, but never more than he did after this first season, where he was working for a huge Los Angeles detective agency called Intertect and reporting to Lew Wickersham (Joseph Campanella). Even those pop culture fans who are aware of the existence of “Mannix” may be surprised to discover just how cool the series was. For one thing, Mannix is an old-school tough guy, generally wearing a suit and tie, smoking a cigarette as often as not, and ending conversations with pulling a gun or delivering a sharp right hook. (Like the split-screen opening credits aren’t awesome enough with the Lalo Schifrin theme, they’re made all the more fab by having a punch thrown in the bottom left corner square and connecting in the upper right square!) Not every cop show or detective drama from the ‘60s survives intact when held up to the harsh light of today’s TV standards, but “Mannix” manages to do so handily.

4. Burke’s Law: Season 1
Amos Burke is not only the Chief of Detectives for the city of Los Angeles but also a suave millionaire playboy who arrives at homicide scenes in a Rolls Royce driven by his Filipino manservant, Henry. Yes, I know it sounds laughable, but, damn, it’s good! Gene Barry strolls through the show with a wink and a smirk, constantly firing off quips and flirtatious remarks like he’s the James Bond of Southern California. Sure, it’s all a bit campy, but Barry never quite winks at the camera, always managing to indicate that, for all his flirtatious ways, he’s still on the job and dedicated to bringing the murderer to justice. And, hey, if he manages to shake some action in the process, more power to him, y’know? Plus, the show had the greatest line-up of guest stars this side of…well, this next show, actually.

5. The Love Boat: Season 1
Love is indeed life’s sweetest reward, but for fans of kitschy ’70s TV and guest stars of varying degrees of celebrity, there was no greatest gift this year than the arrival of Season 1 of on “The Love Boat” on DVD. Granted, it was split into two volumes, which was a little bit annoying, but just to have it all was enough to bring a smile to this critic’s face. It’s so light and fluffy that it might just blow off your shelf, but where else can you find a cast that includes Jimmie Walker, John Ritter, Charo, Bill Bixby, Scott Baio, Milton Berle, Jim Nabors, Tab Hunter, Ray Bolger, Steve Allen, Gary Burghoff, Leslie Nielsen, Pat Morita…oh, I could go on and on. No, seriously, I could. This show was awesome. Not necessarily good, but definitely awesome.

The Biography Channel’s stirring episode about the life and times of Mr. Scott Baio. As we thrilled to his career, tackling everything from “Bugsy Malone” to “Scott Baio is 46…and Pregnant,” with stops on the life and times of Chachi Arcola, “Charles in Charge,” and, of course, “Zapped!”, we heard not only from family and friends but also from noted experts on the man’s career.

And, then, we also heard from this jackass:

Hey, to my way of thinking, I could’ve come off looking a hell of a lot worse than I did. At the very least, the experience of having a film crew fly to my house and film me as I waxed ridiculous about Baio’s lack of rock cred in “Joanie Loves Chachi” was one that I won’t soon forget.

“Scrubs” is coming back…but for what will probably be its final season
But, hey, chin up, buckeroo. Instead of being stuck on NBC, the series is finally getting the respect it deserves – albeit in the twilight of its run – by moving over to ABC. It might seem weird for the show to make such a move so late in the game, but as it happens, “Scrubs” has actually been a production of ABC Studios (formerly Touchstone) since it first went on the air, so it actually does make sense that they’d be the ones who’d want to see it go out with glory. And, indeed, the first two episodes of the season are a glorious return to the blend of humor and drama that has been the hallmark of the best “Scrubs” episodes over the years. If this is finally the end, at least it looks like Bill Lawrence and the cast will be bringing the show to a solid conclusion.