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Golden Globes, Taylor-Tina Face Off

Young celebrity relationships are, for the most part, entirely futile. I learned this after Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears called it quits due to a mysterious misdemeanor on her part. The two then carried out a prolonged, dramatic breakup that only proved how perfect they were for each other.

Or take any relationship that Taylor Swift has entered, ever, for instance.

Like children away at sleep away camp, it seems real time plays no relative matter as the two relatively awestruck and dough eyed mini moguls careen into a whirlwind of super love that lands them straight into the arms of the press, and connectedly, the dining room tables of their beloved fans.  What then follows is a few weeks, months, or maybe even years of a picture perfect seeming love affair, time tabled by tabloids, speculated on by the spectators, and consumed by the masses.

Some of them extend no further than dating, some of them manage, at least, an ill fated engagement, and others even make it to the isle. Very few, however, actually stand the test of time.

But let’s face it, most of these romances, much like Swift’s,  end abruptly after a brief courtship due to a minor hiccup of disagreement or miscommunication. We know there are many fish in the sea, and in Hollywood the fish are much prettier, but aren’t relationships supposed to be built on trust, strengthened though tryst, and tested with time?

Of course, arguments can be made that all of society falls into this category; all with the divorce rate soaring at a skyrocketing rate of dismal and depressing. But, in real life, nobody is praised or applauded for holding hands one day, and announcing engagements the next.

More so, reactions would generally be, “Are you crazy? Do you even know what they do for a living?”

This, of course, is not all celebrities, as some relationships have taken on the world and proved love can even be realized by even the most dense of people. Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, for example.

However, it seems that most of these youngsters hop around just way too fast testing out these shiny new toys without actually realizing the heftiness they are holding in regard to their public image, or the message they are sending to their tiny fans. In so much, people will think things, tabloids will say things, and comedians will joke on things.

And if you can’t handle the heat, get out of the kitchen. Or, at least try wearing an oven mitt.

Look Swift,  God knows I’m your biggest fan, and I am only jealous of your optimistic ability to jump head first into each romance, but if your’re going to do it, you have to take the jokes that are coming your way in stride. The world is going to laugh at you, and you must laugh at yourself.

Also, you must never insinuate anything negative about Tina Fey and/or Amy Poehler because they are, quite simply, Gods.

Maybe you’ll think I’m going to Hell too for writing this, but hopefully you can see I am just offering advice as a fan.

I own all you albums, having legally paid for them, and sing your songs off of balconies on cruise ships with my little sister. Who, need I mention, also attended a concert on your last tour as a birthday gift from me. So you see, I am rooting for you.

You’re welcome.

http://www.vanityfair.com/online/oscars/2013/03/amy-poehler-taylor-swift-vanity-fair-cover-story-tina-fey>

 

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Slightly early midweek movie news

Just a few items that have been swirling about the movie media news/blogosphere…

Ving Rhames in * I know conservative Hollywood-bashers think all we film people both love and fear James Cameron and will leap to his defense with the ferocity of an intimidated momma grizzly on principle. They should take a look at the hub-bub the man has kicked up with some remarks in Vanity Fair that are perhaps best described as 3D snobbery run amok. To use his own terminology, he threw “Piranha 3D” under the bus — presumably with the resulting exploding innards heading directly at the audience’s face. I’m sure the fact that, as per Hollywood legend, Cameron was fired after a week directing “Piranha 2″ decades ago, has nothing to do with this.

Anyhow, here’s the oft-quoted choice bit:

…that is exactly an example of what we should not be doing in 3-D. Because it just cheapens the medium and reminds you of the bad 3-D horror films from the 70s and 80s, like Friday the 13th 3-D. When movies got to the bottom of the barrel of their creativity and at the last gasp of their financial lifespan, they did a 3-D version to get the last few drops of blood out of the turnip. And that’s not what’s happening now with 3-D. It is a renaissance—right now the biggest and the best films are being made in 3-D. Martin Scorsese is making a film in 3-D. Disney’s biggest film of the year—Tron: Legacy—is coming out in 3-D. So it’s a whole new ballgame.”

One of the first to get in on the attack — and with the ferocity of a poppa grizzly, I might add — was our pal (and “Piranha” guest reviewer) Dennis Cozzalio. Numerous others have joined Dennis in the good fight for low-budget 3D horror. Apparently not one bit concerned about being able to work in this town again, producer Mark Canton has joined the fray with a sharp counter-attack.

* John Woo directing a movie about the American trained Chinese WWII aces the Flying Tigers in Imax? Where do we send our $15.00? Remakes of his long-time favorite, Jean-Pierre Melville’s “Le Samurai,” and his own international breakthrough hit, “The Killer”? Not my absolute first choice for Woo projects, but I’ll pay to see those too. I just hope he really has something new he wants to say with those stories.

* RIP director Alain Corneau.

* A truly intelligent man like Martin Scorsese knows it’s never time to stop learning. The Onion has the scoop.

*Via an e-mail from the elusive BKS: Cecil B. DeMille rewriting Billy Wilder? Sort of like James Cameron trying to rewrite Quentin Tarantino (and he would too, I bet), but anything is possible in this crazy town.

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Stolen videos!

A couple of embeds I saw on the sites of two of our more notable film news reporter/bloggers struck me as being very much of interest to PH readers and film fans in general, so here they are.

First, here is the one-year old trailer for “The People vs. George Lucas” which Nikki Finke noted today is going to be featured at this year’s South by Southwest film festival, though Finke named some names back when she ran this. It should be noted that a lot of the people shown aren’t really perpetrating a personal “diss” as Finke implied.  Also, as a useless blogger, I’d like to know who she considers to be “second rate” movie critics. Anyhow, like Finke, I’m intrigued.

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If you’ve ever directed anything, you know that directors and actors have a pretty unusual relationship. Whether a director’s approach is intensely personal or assiduously professional, there’s always (or should be) an interesting dynamic. Yesterday, Anne Thompson featured this short video documenting a Vanity Fair/Annie Liebovitz photo-shoot featuring actors and their directors that offers a fun peak into one of the most crucial working relationships in the world of film.

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A visit with “Brothers”

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I’m no Hollywood insider. Nikki Finke does not rely on me for her tips and I don’t ever expect to attend the Vanity Fair Oscar after party. Nevertheless, there’s one thing I do know about show business: personality goes a very long way in “this town.” And so a few of us press people recently found ourselves the subject of a 50 megaton charm offensive by the four stars of the new Fox sitcom, “Brothers” — C.C.H. Pounder, Carl Weathers, and Daryl “Chill” Mitchell, and one extremely enthusiastic newbie, former New York Giants Defensive End and Fox Sports commentator Michael Strahan. I haven’t seen the show itself yet, which premieres tonight at 8 p.m./7 central, but the visit was certainly a performance I won’t be forgetting.

From long-time writer-producer Don Reo, whose credits run from “M*A*S*H” to “Blossom” and “Everybody Hates Chris,” “Brothers” stars Strahan as a former NFL star who winds up moving in to the house he bought for his parents when a financial reversal puts him in the metaphorical poorhouse. Since this is a sitcom, naturally there will be conflict with his brother, played by Mitchell, and the usual issues with parents Weathers and Pounder. One ace the show will be playing will be guest appearances by some fairly big names playing themselves, including former heavyweight champion Mike Tyson, hip-hop star T-Pain, celubutante Kim Kardashian, and the great Clarence Clemons of the E Street Band. Also appearing will be well actress Tichina Arnold from “Chris” and, not playing himself, rap superstar Snoop Dog. Stand-up comic Lenny Clarke will be playing a neighbor on the show.

The show has been getting some additional attention for a perhaps less fortunate reason, in that while African-American actors are featured in more diverse roles these days, it’s the only current show on the networks schedules with a predominantly black cast. That’s largely a reversal of the trend of the past when the vast bulk of decent TV parts for nonwhite actors were on shows like “The Jeffersons” and “Good Times” as well as some of the later, more controversial shows aimed at black audiences like “Martin.”

The first to meet the press were Carl Weathers, perhaps still most famed as Rocky Balboa’s venerable opponent, Apollo Creed, and C.C.H. Pounder, who is taking a break from her usual intense, gravitas-laden, roles on shows like “The Shield” and seems to be enjoying every minute of it. In fact, I’m here to tell you that extremely skilled Ms. Pounder is downright bubbly in person. You heard me, “bubbly” — but in a very smart sort of way.

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The mood was light right off the bat with more than one of us entertainment journos confessing a complete lack of knowledge of sports and Ms. Pounder joining in. Weathers was the exception. “Well, I played for the Oakland Raiders so I hope I know a little bit about football.” And that somehow prompted an impersonation of Butterfly McQueen from “Gone with the Wind” from Pounder. I guess you had to be there.

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The geek overload continues! (updated)

With the completely and utterly sold-out Comic-Con starting mid-week, Hollywood publicists seem to be working overtime to fulfill your no doubt insatiable need for geek news. I could probably write seven or eight posts catering to nerd proclivities. But you’re getting just one today, (and, with the help of few snafus, this one took much longer than it should have). A few highlights

* Leonardo DiCaprio’s company has signed writer Rand Ravich (“The Astronaut’s Wife,” the TV series “Life”) to do a new film somehow tied to Rod Serling’s classic anthology science-fiction/fantasy TV series, “The Twilight Zone.” Many of you will remember the 1983 film, which utilized multiple writers and directors and consisted of three adaptations of well known episodes from the original series, one tale loosely drawn from a pair of episodes (sadly infamous due to the accident which killed actor Vic Morrow and two illegally hired children, very nearly ending the career of director John Landis), and a framing story featuring Albert Brooks and Dan Aykroyd. No word on what form this new film would take — a single tale would be missing the entire point of “The Twilight Zone,” IMO — and I’m unfamiliar with Ravich’s work. So, it’ll be interesting to watch this one move further along the pipeline.

[Update: Apparently, one year ago at least, the idea was to make a single film drawn from an episode of the series. Why, I have no idea. I learned this via Monika Bartyzel, you can read her post and my messed up comments here.

* The word on the overseas grosses for “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” are in and they’re a new worldwide five day record of $297 million. Blimey.

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