American Idol: Seacrest learns to fly

Last night’s “American Idol” results show was as hilarious as it was annoying, but not because of anything that was planned. We’ll try to sum it up quickly….

First, Ruben Studdard, Season 2 champ, sang his new single. Ruben sounded great as always, but didn’t appear to sweat as much as usual. That’s because he’s lost a ton of weight….now he looks like a little mountain instead of a big one. Dude is still BIG, but he’s really tall too. Anyway, Studdard told Ryan Seacrest he’s now a vegan and working out regularly. Good for him, and good for cows and pigs and chickens everywhere. He also announced that he’ll be touring with Clay Aiken this summer, the dude he beat out in Season 2. Hey, why not?

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American Idol: finalists realize what’s on the line

Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you, a competition. Last night was the first time that the “American Idol” finalists actually sang like they gave a damn. As if there was a prize attached to them performing well. Imagine that. Of course, the show was still two hours long despite now only having ten performers, meaning, lots of fluff and filler. The guest mentor this week was Usher, as it was R&B/soul week, and let’s just say the guy was much more credible than Miley Cyrus. Here is the recap as we saw it….

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American Idol: no thing like a sure thing

Last night’s results on “American Idol” were about as predictable as Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacrest’s annoyingly uncomfortable banter. We all knew Paige Miles was going home, it was just a matter of how we got there.

The painfully 60-minute-long show began with a group performance of Wham’s “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go,” which was enhanced by the fact that the 11 finalists recorded the track and then sang along with it. So every time you heard one of them sing, you heard two of them sing. Weird.

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American Idol: to cha ching or not to cha ching

Last night before the 11 hopefuls took the stage on American Idol,” judge Simon Cowell told Ryan Seacrest and all of us who cared to listen that he thought it was a critical night for the singers. That’s because the one that goes home this week will miss out on the American Idol summer tour. Only the Top 10 go (I’ve never quite figured out why the 12 finalists don’t all go), which means the 11th place finisher may miss out on all that tour dough. Seriously, that’s huge…and I’m glad Simon pointed it out. However, not too many of the contestants sounded like they were singing for their lives last night. Again. Oh yeah, and Miley Cyrus was the “mentor” this week, and I think we have to use “mentor” in very loose terms here. Here is the recap….

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American Idol: 60 minutes is too long

Last night began the portion of the “American Idol” season when they eliminate one finalist per week. And it was 30 minutes too long of an episode. It’s bad enough that they only have to let one contestant go within an hour’s time, but they manage to fill up that hour with too much crap. They also reminded us of one reason many folks hate the show–the judges’ save. In other words, from this week up until when there are five finalists left, the judges can choose to give the eliminated person a lifeline on the show if they feel America booted them for the wrong reason. To me, that’s just sticking the middle finger to America, watering down their power to vote for who they want to win. In a way, it’s a microcosm of the music industry as we know it today–“you’re gonna listen to this crap, whether you want to or not!”

After some Seacrest/judges banter, Season 7 champ David Cook and his band performed a rocking version of “Jumpin’ Jack Flash” to celebrate Rolling Stones week. In three minutes time, Cook reminded us of how weak this year’s Top 12 really is.

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