2009 may not have been a spectacular year in cinema, but at least Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer didn’t add to the pile of disappointment with another one of their stupid spoof movies. Unfortunately, they didn’t go away for good, and the best thing that can be said about their new film, “Vampires Suck,” is that it’s not as bad as their previous efforts. At the very least, it’s a lot more focused, using the first two “Twilight” movies as the backbone of the story, almost to the point of copyright infringement. Stephanie Meyer’s teen angst-filled universe is certainly a place that’s ripe for comedy, but Friedberg and Seltzer seem content with just throwing a bunch of lazy, half-baked jokes at the wall and praying that some of them stick.
Most of the jokes fall well short of their mark, but there are a few smirk-worthy moments thanks to stars Jenn Proske and Matt Lanter, both of whom do spot-on impressions of the actors they’re parodying. The film also has a surprisingly high production value compared to the directors’ previous work, which often looked like they were shot in someone’s backyard. But the problem with spoofing a phenomenon like “Twilight” is that only people who’ve seen the movies will understand a majority of the jokes, and they’re probably the last group that would want to watch “Vampires Suck.” It’s definitely a step forward for Friedberg and Seltzer, but it’s a small step, because the movie is still so terrible that it’s difficult to put into words. Let’s just say vampires aren’t the only thing that sucks.
Click to buy “Vampires Suck”
Get ready to clean out your bank account, because there are plenty of great high-def titles hitting stores this week. So many, in fact, that I don’t have the space (or time) to talk about every one. James Bond fans will probably see the biggest dent in their savings, however, as five different titles have received the Blu-ray treatment. Let’s go ahead and jump right in with arguably the biggest title of the week.
“Twilight” (Summit Entertainment)
It’s not very often that a film adaptation is better than the source material, but then again, Stephanie Meyer’s novel really isn’t as good as its rabid fanbase would lead you to believe. Female moviegoers may have made “Twilight” a pop culture phenomenon, but that doesn’t mean guys won’t enjoy it too. It’s no “Lost Boys,” but it’s still worth seeing once. For some strange reason, however, the Blu-ray edition is exclusive to Best Buy and Target until May 5th, when Amazon unleashes their ultimate collector’s edition. Diehard fans looking to get their HD fix would be better of just waiting for that version, because despite the fact that it contains the exact same bonus material (audio commentary, deleted/extended scenes, making-of featurette), it also contains a sneak peak at the upcoming sequel, “New Moon.”
“Bolt” (Walt Disney)
Credit Disney for one thing: they understand the needs of their consumers. While many studios have adopted the idea of including digital copies, Disney has taken it one step further by packing every major Blu-ray title with a digital copy and a DVD version of the film. After all, kids tend to watch movies on the go, and since there currently aren’t any portable Blu-ray players on the market, it encourages parents to purchase the hi-def version without having to buy a DVD version for the road. Unfortunately, the extras aren’t quite as revolutionary, though there are a few cool art galleries that make me wish I could buy some of the prints for my home. Plus, kids and parents will both get a kick out of the “Super Rhino” short. It’s a great complement to what is easily Disney’s best CG film to date.
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