Celluloid Heroes: David Medsker’s Top Movies of the 2000s

For better or worse, every decade has a couple of unique characteristics that serve as a convenient description for the period as a whole. The ’70s had disaster movies and the explosion of auteurs like Scorsese and Coppola. The ’80s had Spielberg, John Hughes, and the rise of the cheap slasher film. The ’90s were all about the indie explosion (and more disaster movies). What will history remember about the 2000s? If I had to guess, I’d sum it up in four words: Attack of the Fanboys.

Take a quick look at the top ten grossing movies of the decade (using worldwide box office numbers): There are four “Harry Potter” movies, two “Lord of the Rings” movies, two “Pirates of the Carribean” movies, “The Dark Knight,” and “Shrek 2.” And don’t forget the three “Spider-Man” movies, the two “Transformers” movies, the last two “Star Wars” movies, “300,” or “Iron Man.” Put them all together, and you have one mondo pile o’ fanboydom, right there. The first movie on the list to feature an original screenplay is Pixar’s “Finding Nemo” at #15, which brings us to the unofficial subtitle for the 2000s: The Decade When Everyone Ran Out of Ideas.

Ah, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. There were some original ideas out there, and on the flip side, some of those fanboy movies made as much money as they did because they were phenomenal pieces of work. As we continue our series of reflections on the decade that was, I submit to you for your snarky dismissal approval, my top ten movies of the 2000s.

return of the king
10. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)
I’ve still only seen this movie once, but so much of it is still imprinted in my mind. The final fight between Frodo and Gollum. Samwise kicking orc ass while carrying Frodo at the same time. That hellacious battle of Minas Tirith. And then, just when you think that Peter Jackson will let you take a breath, he unleashes another horrific shriek from those damn Fell Beasts. Yes, I admit that when Sam and Frodo had their tearful goodbye at the movie’s end, I wanted to scream, “For God’s sake, just kiss him already!” But there is a reason this movie won every single Academy Award it was nominated for. It’s an extraordinary piece of work.

king of kong
9. The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters (2007)
What began as an innocent look at the classic video game circuit slowly morphed into a tale of David vs. Goliath proportions, as unknown Donkey Kong wizard Steve Wiebe encountered a political shitstorm that would give Machiavelli pause. Billy Mitchell is my pick for movie villain of the decade, and worse: he’s real.

wall-e
8. WALL·E (2008)
Only Pixar could turn a story about a lonely robot into the most heartfelt movie Hollywood’s made in years. The fact that this didn’t win a single Academy Award for its sound work is disgraceful.


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Dude, Where’s My Oscar? Bullz-Eye revisits recent Academy Award “mistakes”

Dude, Where's My Oscar?

There are times when we swear that “Entertainment Weekly” has either bugged our office or is tapping into our conference calls. Numerous pieces of ours wind up on their pages at almost the exact same time, be it a list of the best sequels, cinematic stoners, or our long-gestating piece on the Bullz-Eye Fantasy Band Draft, which will drop later this year. They’ve even named their hot/not meter “The Bullseye.” Hmmm.

And sure enough, they scooped us once again, when they put the top awards from various Academy Awards results to a new vote, to see how the current Academy would fix the previous generation’s “mistakes.” We’ve been throwing that idea around for over a year, and just when we begin to put pen to paper: boom! — they beat us to the punch. We’re not at all surprised that they saw the appeal in such a topic; every year there is at least one head-scratching moment, one that usually owes more to awarding a long-overdue actor for their overall body of work than for the performance at hand (ahem, Al Pacino, “Scent of a Woman”). Enter Bullz-Eye, Mighty Mouse-style, to save the day and make sure justice is served. We’ve examined recent Academy Award winners and their competitors, and we found a few, um, irregularities. Revisionist history begins now.

Oscar Snubs

Elaine Benes summed up our feelings for “The English Patient” as well as anyone. Actually, that’s a tad unfair; we didn’t think “Patient” was awful, just long and, in the end, anti-climactic. Without Juliette Binoche carrying her co-stars from start to finish (her Oscar, unlike this one, was well deserved), we wonder if “Patient” would have received half the praise that it did. Then there’s “Fargo,” which featured invaluable contributions from its leads, the supporting cast, and even the characters who were only in a scene or two (Marge Gunderson’s Japanese high school classmate had us in tears). It’s funny, shocking, coy, and best of all, normal, an expertly crafted movie all the way around. Guess the Academy wasn’t quite ready for the Coen brothers yet.

Oscar Snubs

To be fair, this one isn’t a staff pick; it’s mine and mine alone. My colleague Jason Zingale loved “Crash,” as did most people. I, however, loathed it like no movie I’ve seen since “Shrek.” The manner in which people would instantly spew the most hateful, ignorant nonsense in scene after scene was just unbearable, and I wanted to throttle Sandra Bullock’s ridiculously underwritten shrew of a character. Granted, “Brokeback Mountain” is not a perfect movie by any stretch, but I’ll take it over “Crash” any day of the week and twice on Sunday for the sheer fact that it didn’t try to beat me into a coma about what a racist pig I am. Fuck you, Paul Haggis.

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