So it finally came down to Russell vs. Nona for all the marbles, and if you haven’t noticed, “Hell’s Kitchen” has regressed to the point that they don’t do the finale live anymore. But that’s okay….if they did, it would be two long and grueling hours. As it was, they started out with Nona and Russell being whisked off in a helicopter to the site of LA Market, where one of them would become head chef. But of course they would have a challenge, and that would be to whip up 5 courses in 45 minutes…say what? Really? There is no way I believe they did that. Anyway, Gordon Ramsay brought in some of his celebrity chef buddies and subordinates to judge each course. As always it came down to a tie after four rounds (has it ever not?) and for the meat course judged by executive chef at LA Market Kerri Simon, Russell won. So his prize? Once they arrived back at the dorm, they were surprised by eight of their former teammates being there. They would choose their teams, and Russell had the first pick.

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It’s been a long haul this season, and as Fox backed-to-backed two seasons of “Hell’s Kitchen,” we had the chance to see how disinterested the producers are in making this show better or changing things up. Every season, the challenges and when they do each challenge are the same. But I digress. This season is remarkably different, because of the lack of talent. Last night the two finalists were chosen by Gordon Ramsay, but both have serious flaws. Let’s go to the videotape of last night’s next-to-last episode…

Initial challenge: Creating a “fusion” dish using two cuisines from around the globe

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“Hell’s Kitchen” is getting a bit old with its same-ness and this season, with the lack of a clear-cut star. Gordon Ramsay is going to have to hire an executive chef from a Final Four of meathead Russell, a dude who can’t multi-task in Trev, a woman who acts and sounds like a little kid in Jillian, and another who continues to make big mistakes in Nona. Really? Well yeah, really. Here is the recap from last night:

Initial challenge: Re-creating a dish that Ramsay created by tasting it.

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Wednesday night’s episode of “Hell’s Kitchen” made it evident that the talent this season is horribly inferior. They began with Russell, Jillian and Nona sitting together proclaiming that they would be the final three, and that Jillian has believed that since Day 1. Really? Can anyone else have a hard time seeing any of them lead a kitchen? Anyway, here is the recap…

Initial challenge: Signature “power lunch” in food trucks.

Mistakes: Menu items. Russell actually made grilled octopus salad. Really? Trev made spaghetti with sausage. Really? Out of a food truck?

Winner: Gail, for her steak salad with mango and pecans. I thought Nona’s chicken salad sandwich with bacon and sweet potato chips would win, but that’s me and that was California. Russ’ dish was the least favorite…uh, big duh.

Prize: A makeover, one that made Gail look only slightly better than she did before

Punishment: What else? Cleaning the food trucks.

Dinner service: Nothing special, other than Paris Hilton being one of the guests.

Mistakes: Lots of them. Jillian could not cook scallops or halibut properly, and Russell was helping. Nona didn’t cook pasta all the way through…..Trev tried to re-fire meat…then Ramsay and sous chef Scott walked out to cool off and make nice for the reality show cameras. When they returned, they switched all the stations up. Then Gail served raw salmon, Jillian did not cook eggs all the way through and Ramsay followed through on his promise, telling Gail and Jillian to….

Quote: “GET OUT!”

Winner: Nobody, and they had to come up with a consensus two nominees for elimination.

On the block: Gail and Trev.

Going home: Gail. At least she got a makeover, and that’s what she said on her way out the door. Meanwhile, how in the world is Trev still here?

Thanks for reading and see you all next week!

Thankfully, last night’s episode of “Hell’s Kitchen” on Fox was just one hour, or one episode instead of two lumped into one. They must have realized that if they kept doubling them up, the show would be over by Thanksgiving. Anyway, here is our recap of last night, and we’re now down to five chefs!

Initial challenge: Amuse-bouche (quick bite) challenge with guest judges Ludo Lefebvre, Quinn and Karen Hatfield, Suzanne Tracht, and Michael Cimarusti
Mistakes: One judge said Nona’s shrimp and grits smelled like “body odor.” Ouch! And Trev’s frog legs were also a mess
Winner: Russell, for his hamachi broth
Prize: Tour of LA Market, and lunch with Gordon Ramsay and executive chef Kerry Simon. Russell was allowed to bring one person with him and he chose Gail since she finished second in the challenge
Punishment: Cleaning the dorms and having to listen to Trev whine
Dinner service: Tableside Steak Diane
Mistakes: Gail undercooked scallops; Trev overcooked pasta; Gail’s fish stuck to the pan; Jillian over-salted mashed potatoes; Gail “poached” her grilled salmon; Russ’ beef was raw in the middle. Ramsay pulled them all aside and said, “No more mistakes!” They straightened up for a bit before screwing up more. Russ’ steak was raw again, and that set Ramsay off.
Quote: Ramsay, to all chefs: “Get out!”
Winner: No winner. The remaining six chefs had to come up with a consensus two nominees for elimination
On the block: Trev and Sabrina. Sabrina started whining, though, about how she thought Gail screwed up more than she did and waah, waah, waah! Man, she’s annoying.
Going home: Sabrina, because the producers have mercy on us.
So that’s it, we’re down to the final five—Trev, Nona, Russ, Gail and Jillian. Does that seem to you like the weakest final five ever? You have to believe it’s Russ’ job to lose. But we’ll see what happens in the coming weeks. Thanks for reading!