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Dancing with the Stars 9.12 — Round Six

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Last week, one of the stronger dancers was eliminated because America likes to reward inadequacy. It’s troubling to a new viewer such as myself who is more interested in the show’s competitive aspects. When Natalie Coughlin got the boot, I realized this show couldn’t be both entertaining and fair. If the producers wanted to acknowledge talent, the judges would decide the outcomes. Voters calling in currently affect half the decision, and this was enough to eliminate Natalie Coughlin before a weaker dancer like Kelly Osbourne. It was sad and stupid. The judges looked betrayed. They had probably expected Natalie to face Mya in the finals. Now, because America consistently roots for the underdog, that won’t happen. The show should lower the influence on the voter’s percentage and reduce the number from 50 percent to 25 percent. Don’t even tell the viewers. Just do it. I can’t believe Michael Irvin is still in this competition. I mean, what is wrong you people? You really wanted to watch him dance over Natalie? Give me a break.

Nine couples remain. At this rate, we should be done by the Super Bowl.


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Dancing with the Stars 9.10 — Round Five

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My hometown team just suffered an excruciating loss to the Philadelphia Phillies. This day started out wonderful and now I’m contemplating turning on the heater, sipping some Jameson, putting on a Sam Cooke record, and drifting off to sleep. I’m depressed and I need a remedy. Should I turn to “Dancing with the Stars” for support? Of course I shouldn’t, but it’s about to get started so I have no choice.

I have very little patience right now. Now that I’m familiar with the show, I seriously doubt that Aaron Carter is going to raise my spirits. Len Goodman better be funny and Joanna Krupa better be wearing something illegal. Ladies and gentleman, it’s “Dancing with the Stars!”


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Dancing with the Stars 9.9 — Round Four: Results Show

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All the women are safe tonight. That goes without saying. Before last night’s episode, the only female contestant really in jeopardy was Melissa Joan Hart. But look at her now. Len Goodman has asked her and partner Mark Ballas to once again perform the Charleston. Melissa surprised everyone last night, finally improving after weeks of sub-par dancing.

I’m predicting either Chuck Lidell or Michael Irvin will get the boot tonight. I mean, who else would it be?

I didn’t even know Shakira was still around. She looks great, glaring and smirking at the audience. I would never listen to this song on my own time, but I would watch the music video on mute.


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Dancing with the Stars 9.8 — Round Four

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I’ve been watching every game from the MLB playoffs and am in the mood for some more competition! Will tonight’s episode of “Dancing with the Stars” be just as exciting? Probably not, but at least we’ll be treated to a laugh or two, won’t we?

This evening, each of the 11 remaining couples will have to perform a new style of dance. Given that it’s the fourth week, nobody should stink up the place.

Chuck Lidell with Anna Trebunskaya (two step)

It’s just silly. I don’t know how long America will let Lidell skate by with these sloppy performances.

Melissa Joan Hart with Mark Ballas (Charleston)

Good. I thougt they were going to keep that black and white effect on the entire time. Melissa is much improved this week. Her feet seem to glide rather than stutter. They just got a score of 28. I didn’t expect that given their performance last week.


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Dancing with the Stars 9.7 — Round Three: Results Show

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Earlier, I predicted that either Debi Mazar, Michael Irvin, or Chuck Lidell would be eliminated on tonight’s results show. My statement sent shock waves throughout the Internet landscape, leading to vicious emails calling for my dismissal from the Single Men’s Dancing With The Stars Blogging Alliance. Listen, sometimes you have to be the bad guy.

I see bodies gyrating on my screen. Let’s do this.


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