James Franco explains today’s weather

There’s a bit of a let-up happening at the moment right where I am, but we’re told that all of us here in this place where they make the movies have another day or so to look forward to of constant wetness. This is strange and oddly creepy to those of us acclimated to desert climes. However, it’s not quite like rain is unknown here. As the song says,

It never rains in [Southern] California, but, girl, don’t they warn ya’, it pours, man, it pours.

What Albert Hammond was trying so hard to explain to all of you non-SoCalers back in the day was that we usually get about 1-2 weeks of solid, uninterrupted rain, but it’s usually in February-May sometime. The result: higher consumption of microwave popcorn and TCM, and some very dissatisfied tourists.

Now, reporter types tell us that the reason we have to put up with the usual mud slide dangers, terrible driving, and odd cases of sudden unexplained depression caused by this weird thing that happens when water falls from the sky so early in the year has to do with a Hawaii-based meteorological phenomenon know as “the Pineapple Express.” Okay, it’s true other reporter types tell us this weather system is actually really coming from Asia, but “Rice Express” doesn’t have the same ring.

And, so, from the film of the similar name, James Franco explains it all to a credulous Seth Rogen as well as it’s relation to a high quality variant of a highly popular medicinal herb. It’s all very scientific and, of course, NSFW for bad language, drug humor, and a reference to babies having sex, “God’s vagina,” and engineering of an illegal nature.

  

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