Tonight’s episode kicks off with Sookie trying to make her new werewolf pal, Alcide, feel a little less crappy about having gotten his ass kicked in Lou Pine’s were-bar. Alcide’s pissed that his brethren would indulge in vampire blood and sad about the departure of his fiancée, the latter feeling only slightly less shoehorned into the script than it did in the previous episode. Sookie obviously felt guilty about the way she was laying hands on Alcide, but one suspects that the guilt only lasted until the phone rang and Bill dumped her. I know he’s doing it because he thinks it’s the only way to save her life, but the effect it’s having on Sookie is clearly traumatizing the poor girl. She gets into a debate with Alcide over what Bill said, why he said it, and what it all means, but it’s quickly made obvious that the last person who she ought to be talking to about her situation is a werewolf dealing with his own relationship problems. Thank God the guy’s got some semblance of restraint, but come the next morning, things somehow end up even more tense between them, with Alcide accusing her of being a doormat and Sookie demanding that he take her to his ex-fiancee’s engagement party. Yeah, ‘cause that’s an event every guy wants to attend…
Alcide’s sister, Janice, sure knows how to offer a compliment, telling Sookie that she’s cute and sweet, but only after admitting that she’d’ve settled for a two-bit hooker to get her brother’s mind off his ex-fiancee. Between what Janice said and what Sookie heard her thinking, it appears there are some serious parallels between the relationships of Sookie and Alcide, insofar as how long one should suffer through first love before realizing that it might not be worth all the trouble. But I digress, when I should be pointing out how Janice made Sookie look like Joan Jett’s hot little sister. (Marjorie Kase suggested that I throw a “Sandy from ‘Grease'” reference into my write-up. I’m guessing this is a reference to the “tell me about it, stud” transformation.) Unsurprisingly, Alcide isn’t exactly pleased to hear the news about Debbie’s situation, but he nonetheless agrees to help Sookie get into her party…which we’ll get back to discussing in a little bit.
Sam’s ready to kick his little brother’s ass for sneaking into his office, but in the process of trying to hunt him down, he stumbles upon his family’s van and learns that they’re temporarily camped out in his parking lot because of unpaid rent. Mom and Dad are less than thrilled at the news, but they’re not in any way surprised, either. Meanwhile at Merlotte’s, Jason tries to buy a round for his boys, but he ends up suffering pangs of jealousy over some young high school punk, while Sheriff Bud really is retiring, apparently, and he’s been given a pair of “dancing shoes” as a farewell gift. The revelation that Andy’s taking over the reigns of command pisses Jason off, though, sending him over to start some shit with the aforementioned young punk. Jason might’ve confused the kid with his “ten years from now” speech, but it actually made more sense than most of the things that’ve come of his mouth on this show. Also, Jessica’s working for Sam as a hostess…but not a waitress, owing to the fact that she’s forever trapped at the age of 17 and therefore unable to sell alcohol for all perpetuity (have these people never heard of a fake ID?)…but being out in the open leads her to be spotted by a former Bible-study classmate. Clearly, she’s got the hang of this glamoring thing, but too bad Hoyt got the wrong impression by only seeing the situation from a distance. So Hoyt’s jealous, Deputy Jones and Jason are both pissed, Arlene’s sobbing because the number of redheads employed by the bar has suddenly doubled…yep, it’s just another night in Merlotte’s. Oh, and by the way, Sam’s family is having a cookout in the parking lot. Son of a…
