American Idol: semi-shocking elimination

Well, I said this morning that I thought Jermaine should be the first guy getting booted off “American Idol” but that nothing would surprise me. Still, I was kind of surprised by a couple of the results tonight. Here is how it all went down…..

First, the awful group number….a jazzy, horrible song I think called “American Boy.” Blech. Most of the contestants looked bored, lost, or indifferent. Yes, it was epic bad.

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American Idol: Boys club

I’m convinced there is nothing that makes Ryan Seacrest happier than announcing how many votes were tallied on Idol Tuesdays. Last night, he beamed as there were a record 64 million votes…a record for any non-finale Idol show. Of course, I think you can vote like 1000 times if you want so who knows how skewed those numbers really are. Anyway, these results shows have become a spectacle this season, as they try and cram three or four performances into the hour-long show. Here we go….

First, there was a group performance of “School’s Out” with this week’s mentor, Slash, on guitar. Not awful, but not worth watching on your DVR again. I will say that, holy crap, can that dude shred.

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American Idol: Final four rawk

Last night “American Idol’s” Final 4 performed, and it was rock week, and I do mean RAWK, with Slash as the mentor and the mentoring taking place at a club with Slash’s band. How cool for these contestants to have that opportunity? But there was a damper right from the start, as Ryan Seacrest told the world that there was an accident on the set yesterday and one of the giant glass props burst and started spewing shards of glass everywhere. No one was hurt, thankfully, and it’s quite a stroke of luck that this didn’t happen during a show…but the contestants did not get as much practice in as they would have liked.

The show went on though, and in addition to the four performances there would be two duets as well on which the contestants would be judged. Here is how it went down….

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American Idol: Simon can stick it

Last night on FOX’s “American Idol” results show, we learned that Simon Cowell may truly be on crack, as I wrote yesterday, or he may just not know what he’s talking about. Or as he said last night, he had an off night. Either way, he was wrong, and America was right, and I couldn’t feel better about that.

The show began with Ryan Seacrest asking Simon what he thought about Tuesday night’s performances, and Simon said that he watched it back at home and everyone was good, and that it was an open competition. Funny, Simon thought Kris and Allison were pretty awful and he feared that one of them would be going home.

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American Idol: Is Simon on crack?

Never before on “American Idol” have I seen more of an example of Simon Cowell trying to will America to vote a certain way, and last night he was making a case to oust either Kris Allen or Allison Iraheta, while draping unnecessary praise on Matt Giraud and expected praise on Danny Gokey and Adam Lambert. So no, I don’t think he’s on crack, but this big-headed music exec has intentions, and honestly I don’t think they are good or fair intentions. But more on that in a bit. We’re down to the final 5, and the competition is fierce and heated at this stage. Last night the remaining contestants sang crooner type standards, and while having Jamie Foxx be their mentor was sort of an oxymoron, the dude gave everyone excellent advice, something you can’t say for, you know, the Q-man a few weeks ago (yeah, telling Anoop to growl when singing sappy Bryan Adams ballads….that’s money!).

I don’t usually comment on what the judges are wearing, but Paula was wearing this red dress that looked like the man-eating plant from “The Flintstones.” Adam Lambert, you’ve been warned. So here we go, and we’re just going to do this in order since almost everyone was good or very good:

Kris Allen went first, something that is always risky to begin with, and sang a near-flawless version of “The Way You Look Tonight.” Jamie Foxx was blown away in the mentoring session and seems to be pulling for Kris. Okay, this is my boy regardless….but I want to say Kris knocked this thing out of the park. Randy said it was Kris’ best performance to date, Kara said Kris set the bar very high for the other four, Paula said he’s made an amazing transition to a handsome, sophisticated singer, and then Simon burst the bubble by saying Kris wasn’t as good as the other three guys, that he sounded like a well-trained spaniel, that the performance was “wet,” (What????? Even Ryan Seacrest laughed at that), and that it wasn’t incredible and Kris can’t win based on this performance. Damn….could it be any clearer that Simon is trying to push Kris out? I was so pissed that I did something I haven’t done yet this season…I voted.

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