Stand-Up Comics

TV
Speaking of imbedded videos…
Posted on 10.24.07 by Will Harris @ 12:46 pm

…God bless Comedy Central, who’ve stepped up their online content to the point of offering clips from the better part of nine years worth of “The Daily Show” for viewing…and, for websites like this one, embedding.

As an example, here’s Jon Stewart having a chat with Norm MacDonald from way back on March 22, 1999:

Oh, wait, and here’s David Cross, too, from 2004:

Basically, we could do this all day…but why should we waste our time when you can head over to ComedyCentral.com and waste your own?


TV
TCA Press Tour: Jeff Foxworthy is my hero
Posted on 07.25.07 by Will Harris @ 5:16 pm

I know, you think this is going to be a facetious posting, but, honestly, it’s not. Foxworthy hosted the “Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?”-themed lunch during Fox’s TCA days…an event which found us critics receiving school kits, bags of Foxworthy’s beef jerky, school lunch trays bearing the show’s logo, and an inflatable globe…and I don’t think it would’ve been humanly possible for him to come off as a nicer, more genuine guy.

One of the writers asked Foxworthy what he thought about teachers utilizing the show as almost an instructional aid of sorts, and you could tell his answer was based not on what anyone else had suggested he should say if the question came up, but, rather, straight from the heart.

“You know what?” he began. “I think (teaching) is probably one of the most difficult jobs in the country and probably one of the most underpaid and appreciated. I expected, when I started doing this show, to get more mail from kids. I mean, there were kids who obviously didn’t know me as a comedian or know the ‘Blue Collar’ stuff. I have been amazed — and I see it in the mail every week that I get from teachers, over and over again - at teachers saying, ‘You have made it cool to be smart again.’ And they record the show and they take it into the classroom and they show the show and the kids are interested in it and they use it as a learning tool. So that was a byproduct of it that I didn’t even foresee when I started it. But to me, that’s one of the coolest elements, personally, away from the stage, that it has made it cool to be smart. You’re not made fun of for being a nerd. It shows kids going on TV and beating adults at something, and it’s with their brains. So, you know, hopefully, maybe this elevates education and how we deal with it as a priority in this country.”

Foxworthy is also very, very aware of the fact that the kids on his show are, indeed, kids first and foremost, and that something as inevitable as having them provide a wrong answer to a contestant on the show might well really upset them. “There’s always the risk of that,” he admits. “They’re not only kids, they’re humans, so they’re fallible. We were filming two days ago, and Cody was at the podium, and the guy decided to copy Cody’s paper, and Cody was wrong. And I looked over, and I thought Cody was going to cry. Well, if I had been standing where Cody was, I would have felt the same way that he did. But it’s like, I went back over to the classroom, I took Cody, and I said, ‘All right, come over here and look at the rest of the answers. Two of your classmates didn’t know the answer to that, too. So you shouldn’t feel bad about that.’

“It’s more important for me to be a good dad than it is to be a good comedian or a good actor or a good game show host,” continued Foxworthy, “and I have proven (it). I’ve turned down movies for the past three summers because I don’t want to give a summer away with my kids. I’ve always been very concerned about having kids on TV. It’s always made me feel very weird. When I did (’The Jeff Foxworthy Show’), Haley Joel Osment’s dad came and spent the day with me, and he said, ‘I really want to know what you’re about before I even allow my kid to come to work here.” So it’s always been a little bit of a weird thing for me with kids doing this. I love the fact that these kids this year, none of them have aspirations to be an actor. They’re just there because they like being smart and being funny. We have strict guidelines about how long they can work, when they have to take a break. If I have to err on one side of this, it’s always in their favor because, more than anything else, I want them to be kids. And the great thing about this, it’s not strung out over nine months like a sitcom or a drama is. We’ve shot two and a half weeks, we’ll shoot another week in August, and we’re done, so they get to have the rest of their year to go to their regular school and to grow up and be regular kids.”

Okay, sorry, those were big quotes, and it’s probably just because I’m really feeling my inner dad-ness today, but I just walked away from this panel thinking that Jeff Foxworthy is the kind of guy you wish every single celebrity could be, and I wanted to share that.


TV
Damn you, Drew, you held out on me!
Posted on 07.23.07 by Will Harris @ 6:28 pm

I haven’t posted about it yet, but a few nights ago, I spent a really enjoyable 20 minutes chatting with Drew Carey about this and that. Admittedly, the bulk of the conversation was spent focusing on the reasons behind his declaration of “Boat Trip” as the best bad movie ever made, but, still, I am stunned and hurt that I had to read about it elsewhere that he has now been declared as the new host of “The Price Is Right.”

Oh, well, I’m not bitter…mostly because he apparently didn’t know it was official until about 15 minutes before he took the stage as a guest for tonight’s episode of “The Late Show with David Letterman.” And, Hell, I might actually watch “The Price is Right” now!


News
TCA Press Tour: A little TBS, a little TNT…
Posted on 07.17.07 by Will Harris @ 12:32 am

You might be skeptical about a sitcom starring a former participant in the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, but, based on what we saw of “The Bill Engvall Show,” it looks at least a little bit better than the average family comedy, and you can thank the cast for that, I think. In addition to Engvall, you get Nancy Travis, Tim Meadows, and Steve Hytner.

Who’s Steve Hytner, you ask?


He looks familiar, but you can’t place him, right? Probably his most immortal role was that of Kenny Bania on “Seinfeld,” but he also had a really funny show called “Working,” where he co-starred along with Fred Savage. (I asked him if he’d heard anything about it coming out on DVD, but despite his excitement at the mere thought of such a thing happening, he admitted that, no, he hadn’t heard a thing.)

Anyway, the show comes across as a very sweet look at family life without getting too saccharine, mainstream without being too generic…and, hopefully, it’ll work better than, say, “The Jeff Foxworthy Show,” which its star doesn’t exactly remember with great fondness.

“I was on his show,” recalls Engvall, “and he would come to work, and I would say, ‘Oh, I can’t wait till I get my own show. I cannot wait.’ And he goes, ‘Why do you want this?’ And I go, ‘Because this is the ultimate achievement.’ And I think the reason he did not have a great experience is because that particular network didn’t get him. They didn’t know where to put him, what to do with him. And this is where I give TBS all of the credit in the world. They got me. They got what I do. And they’ve let me — they’ve put me in a vehicle that allows me to be Bill, and it’s — so for me, as bad as Jeff’s experience was, mine has been ten times the good way, you know, just from — our set — I wish you guys could all come down to the set, because one of my favorite things to hear is that people, like from guest stars to — it’s a fun set. We have a great time. We laugh. We cut up. And we do a great show. And I will give credit to James Widdoes for this, because he helps keep this — even when things got a little tense, he was there to not only make a great show, but to also — it was fun. You wanted to come to work. It was a great time. So I’m sorry that Jeff had a bad experience, but this has been just completely wicked!”

(Read the rest after the jump.)


News
Richard Jeni dies by apparent suicide
Posted on 03.11.07 by Jason Thompson @ 3:55 pm

Comedian Richard Jeni, 45, has apparently died of suicide. The entertainer shot himself in the face, was found barely alive by his girlfriend and died shortly thereafter at the hospital. An investigation into his death is continuing.


News
Who’s more edgy and topical than Stephen Colbert?
Posted on 01.16.07 by Will Harris @ 1:44 pm

Why, this man, of course:

I’m not gonna tell you I wasn’t a huge fan of Rich Little when I was a kid; truth be told, I can still remember watching “Rich Little’s Christmas Carol” on HBO and loving every minute of it. But, c’mon, was the backlash from last year’s entertainment at the White House Correspondents Association dinner - Stephen Colbert - so tremendous that they had to find the cleanest, most mainstream political comedian (and I’m using the term loosely) to follow him?

Apparently so.


Actors
Try dancing to “Tequila” in these bad boys
Posted on 09.04.06 by Jason Zingale @ 2:16 pm

Not much of an actual news item, but these new kicks from Nike (modeled after the host of the famous children’s show) are definitely some of the coolest themed sneakers out on the market. Plus, the insole features a picture of Pee Wee sitting all alone in a movie theater doing, well, you know. Click on the image to read more about them.

Pee Wee Sneakers


Stand-Up Comics
Stand Up or Shut Up
Posted on 08.10.06 by Mike Farley @ 1:51 pm

No, I’m not ordering you to stand up or shut up. I’m here to tell you about a new micro series airing on the Starz Network every Friday evening.

The show began on July 21 and features stand up comic students that are attending the American Comedy Institute in New York City and each episode chronicles the students being interviewed, performing and talking about their struggles to make it in a difficult and changing industry.

Hosted by comic Michael Somerville, the first episode had each comic talking about and, of course, poking fun at political figures. Most of the poking centered around George W. Bush, and Steve Rosenfield from the ACI dissected the reasons why Bush and other figures are so easy to poke fun at.

What this show lacked, at least in episode one, is laughs. Aussie Josh Zepps seemed to me to be the only one to be remotely funny, and the show itself had a very serious tone. Maybe that’s what they were going for, but if you’re going to be a show about stand up comics, it makes sense to inject more laughs.

We’ll see what happens, but for a 10 minute show, it’s certainly worth checking out and keeping an eye on.


Stand-Up Comics
Josh Blue Takes the Crown
Posted on 08.10.06 by Mike Farley @ 8:44 am

Last night’s “Last Comic Standing” season finale was a reunion of sorts. Former champs Dat Phan, John Heffron, and Alonzo Bodden all performed, as well as show creator Jay Mohr. All of that made one thing perfectly clear……the level of talent this season was not nearly up to par with previous seasons.

First of all, Theo Von was announced as the download champion in the competition no one really cared about except Theo. Well, I guess it’s a good thing to put on his resume.

But after the hilarious performances (I think Heffron and Bodden are as funny as any comics out there today), Josh Blue and Ty Barnett lined up with host Unfunny Clark for the moment of truth. And in anti-climactic fashion, Blue was anointed the champ. I say anti-climactic, because both of these guys were funny, but this season left a lot to be desired, and each week the remaining comics were there strictly by default. This show needs to shake things up, and bringing back Mohr to host would be a good start.

But I shouldn’t take away from Josh Blue’s spotlight here…..the dude has become a role model for those with disabilities. Cerebral Palsey might keep many others out of a competition like this, but Josh is living proof that if you follow your dreams, anything can happen, no matter what any physical disabilities have to say about it. Kudos to him for that, and here’s hoping he has a long and successful career.

And now it’s time for Art Vandalay to hibernate. Good night all, Vandalay is OUT.


Actors
Sure, it ultimately explains why he did “R.V.”…
Posted on 08.09.06 by Will Harris @ 4:23 pm

…but now that Robin Williams has entered rehab for alcoholism, the question that remains unanswered is, how many drinks did it take for him to think that it was a good idea?”

Here’s a hint: we think he signed the contract several shots after he dressed himself for this photo:


Stand-Up Comics
Last Comic Standing: Barreling Toward the Season Finale
Posted on 08.09.06 by Mike Farley @ 8:37 am

And just like that, we find out that the “Last Comic Standing” season finale is tonight. Holy crap, how did that happen? I knew that last night would be the final square-off of the 2 remaining contestants, but NBC decided not to extend the show one more week. And actually, for that, I give them credit.
I just wonder now how painfully long they are going to make tonight’s show.

But back to last night. Before announcing who would be going home and not performing, the network had to scramble to fill up a whole hour. So they let host Unfunny Clark do his stand-up routine. Well, he wasn’t as bad as his hosting has led us to believe he is, but he was still pretty bad.

Then they let the two finalists in the online competition duke it out…..supposedly there was this whole other competition going on that about five of us knew about, where the contestants who didn’t make it to the Queen Mary got to perform for the online community each week. The finalists were Josh Wolf and Theo Von, and not only was Josh funnier than Theo…he may have been funnier than any of the remaining comics. At least I know I’d pay to see this guy. But we’ll see what happens tonight. Then comic Paul Rodriguez guested and did a decent job himself.

After this, it was the elimination and most of us knew what was coming…..Chris Porter was voted off.
To use a baseball analogy, imagine a lifetime .350 hitter striking out 8 straight times in the biggest games of his career. That was Chris Porter the last 2 weeks. So Josh Blue and Ty Barnett got to perform for the championship.

I like both of these guys, but I like Josh just a bit better. He uses his disability to a fault, but he’s still pretty freaking hilarious. Last night, I think his impersonation of Grover from “Sesame Street” locked it up for him. And I think America likes Josh too. So we’ll see what happens tonight, and who will become the Last Comic Standing for this season. Till then, Vandalay is OUT.


Stand-Up Comics
Last Comic Standing: Bye Bye Balan
Posted on 08.02.06 by Mike Farley @ 8:36 am

The current season of “Last Comic Standing” is winding down like the blur that is our summer. Last night was the second elimination as voted by America, and Michelle Balan went home. But first, host Unfunny Clark had the privelege to introduce two guest comics.

The first was Jay London, an LCS alum who is best known for his witty one-liners that are sometimes so witty that the audience doesn’t quite get them right away. Hence, his style of repeating the jokes and making fun of the crowd for their lack of intelligence. Somehow, this dude is funny. He is a hunched over caricature of himself, and that’s part of his act. But even if not everyone gets him, he definitely has something that no one else has.

The second guest was Caroline Rhea, who most people know as the host of NBC’s “The Biggest Loser.” I didn’t even know Caroline was a comedian, but holy shit…..she was hilarious. It makes you wonder how NBC chose Unfunny Clark over Caroline to host this show. Maybe they should think about that for next season.

Then came the elimination, and after Mr. Unfunny let Josh Blue and Ty Barnett know that they were safe, it came down to Michelle and Chris Porter. Michelle’s journey ended, and so then Josh, Ty and Chris got to perform.

Now, I thought the last two weeks that Ty Barnett was going to be eliminated, but he really made me laugh last night and I think he has an outside chance here to win it all. Hell, he has more than an outside chance. Chris may have taken things a bit too far with his religious humor both last week and this week, especially while there are so many Americans out there to offend. And truthfully, he really hasn’t been as funny lately.

Josh was Josh…he’s been the most consistent performer throughout the competition. The man is quietly making a gargantuan statement for disabled Americans, and that’s because you don’t even remember that he has a disability when he’s performing. The dude is just funny as hell.

At this point, I’m going to give a slight edge to Josh Blue as the leader of the pack, with Ty Barnett in second and Chris Porter on the chopping block. Chris, you’re going to have a nice career but you really have disappointed us the last few weeks.

So with this season of LCS barreling toward a conclusion, fall TV can’t be far behind. Thankfully there are shows like this to help us couch potatoes make it through the summer.

I’m off to turn up my air conditioner. Till next week, Vandalay is OUT.


Stand-Up Comics
Last Comic Standing: And Then There Were 4
Posted on 07.26.06 by Mike Farley @ 8:56 am

Last night’s “Last Comic Standing” episode featured the first elimination at the start of the show. Thankfully, they didn’t burden us with a full half hour like “American Idol,” and instead waited a full week to announce the contestant going home at the start of the show.

But first, after host Unfunny Clark got things started, former LCS contestant Gary Gulman got to perform. I remember this guy to be really funny when he was on the show, but last night he didn’t bring his A-game. In fact, I would say that almost al l of the finalists this season could have beat him in a head to head.

So then they brought all five remaining contestants out, and the one voted off was Roz. I think she got robbed. She is way funnier than Ty Barnett and a bit funnier than Michelle Balan. But that’s how these things go.

Then each comic got to perform for about 5 minutes. Yes, 5 minutes. How they stretch this show into a full hour is beyond comprehension. Oh wait, maybe it’s the 30 minutes of commercials. Thank goodness for TiVo.

Michelle went first, followed by Josh Blue. Both did well but I’d have to grade them both as B-plus for their performance. Josh’s best came when he talked about how he was in the para-olympics a few years ago and did his impersonation of a drunk Scottish soccer player with a disability.

Ty Barnett went third and was okay but I’d only give him a B grade….that means he’s my vote for elimination this week, just as he was last week. Chris Porter batted cleanup and in my mind was better than everyone else. He definitely was funnier than last week and should no doubt be sticking around for a while.

So here are the Vandalay Power Rankings for this week:

1. Chris Porter
2. Josh Blue
3. Michelle Balan
4. Ty Barnett

Though I have to admit it was strange that Chris was in the bottom two at the close of the show last night, there is no way he was there when the phone lines were shut down. Ty, you’re funny but you’re not in the elite here. Neither is Michelle, but anything is certainly possible.

Is my blog boring you? It’s boring me a bit, that’s why I ask. But at least i’m funnier than Unfunny Clark. Dude, I sure hope they renew you for “Yes, Dear” because you do the acting thing much better.

Till next week, Art Vandalay is OUT (and going to sell some latex).


Stand-Up Comics
Dane Cook attempts to lower the average age of his fans
Posted on 07.19.06 by Will Harris @ 9:13 am

Since it’s a given that you’re already planning to tune in to everyone’s favorite awards show, “Teen Choice 2006,” on August 20th (you know you already have the date circled on your calendar), here’s further proof that you’ve made the right decision: Dane Cook is going to co-host the ceremony, standing alongside Jessica Simpson, who’s also his co-star in the upcoming film, “Employee of the Month.”

And as if that isn’t enough the show will close with the first-ever network television performance by Kevin “K-Fed” Federline, a.k.a. Mr. Britney Spears. Come on, that’s must-see TV, my friend; everybody loves a good trainwreck.


Stand-Up Comics
Last Comic Standing: Goodbye Unfunny One
Posted on 07.12.06 by Mike Farley @ 8:36 am

You can fool all of the people some of the time. Somehow, miraculously, Rebecca Corry fooled everyone involved with “Last Comic Standing.” But she couldn’t fool anyone when a real audience determined her fate. Hell, she certainly didn’t fool me at any point in the audition process. This woman is not a comedian, she is an imposter, and she thankfully went home last night.

Okay, will someone help me with the last step off my soapbox? Thanks.

With 8 contestants left, host Anthony Clark announced at the start of the show that there would be no immunity this time. That meant that douchebags like Adam Carolla couldn’t determine whether or not Rebecca Corry would hang around.

The event this time was a roasting at the Friar’s Club, and the comics all had to pick one person from among them that they wanted to roast. That turned out to be Gilbert Iglesias….the large Mexican dude who was an easy target and would no doubt have fun getting roasted. That was definitely the case, but during the event you could tell some of these comics are in a different class than some of the others. For instance, Chris Porter is clearly a favorite here and Michele Balan gained a ton of respect in recent weeks and last night. But Kristin Key was not funny at all, and Rebecca was, well, Rebecca.
Guest host Alonzo Boden, a former LCS champ, even jabbed at her: “Rebecca, you’re beautiful. And as a comic, you’re, well, beautiful.” Chris Porter won the event, and rightly so, and he is so funny he doesn’t even need immunity.

Then Gabriel wound up breaking show rules when he was caught communicating with his girlfriend via Blackberry. No no no, senor…… and adios amigo.

So now it was down to 7 and the three that competed at the end of the show were Rebecca, Kristin and Ty Barnett.

Rebecca went first and did her stomping, belching, snorting, jokeless routine. Then Kristin went…she was relatively funny, but still not a slam dunk to be the winner. Ty was last, and he was definitely funnier than Rebecca and Kristin. With the studio audience voting one final time before all of America takes over the voting next week, they voted Ty the winner and Rebecca and Kristin went home.

This all proves one thing. We all know what is funny, and don’t need old washed up comics or radio hosts telling us what they think we should think is funny.

So now it’s down to the final five: Michele, Chris, Ty, Josh Blue and Roz……all worthy of being there, setting up a very exciting battle of finalists. And Rebecca will be voting from her couch like the rest of us. Till then, Vandalay is OUT.


Stand-Up Comics
Last Comic Standing: Narrowing the Field in a Hurry
Posted on 06.28.06 by Mike Farley @ 8:56 am

Is it just me, or is “Last Comic Standing” moving so fast we can barely keep up? With two comics being eliminated each week in the current three-week span, the field will be narrowed to 6 finalists faster than Ashlee Simpson can rearrange her face and put out a new video.

Last night, the 10 remaining contestants had a Moroccan dinner, complete with belly dancers, before catching a few hours of sleep only to be woken for a bus ride at 3:30 am. The bus took them to an LA radio station where host Adam Carolla was to judge their challenge of the day. Each contestant chose a plain envelope containing a different magazine, and then were given one minute of air time to crack jokes about that magazine. The winner in Carolla’s eyes would be granted immunity, or at least one extra week on the show in which they could not be eliminated.

It came down to Bill Dwyer and Rebecca Corry, but I think Kristin Key got robbed because she was funnier than both of them. I even think Bill was funnier than Rebecca, but Carolla chose Rebecca, who kept reminding everyone else that she had immunity. Can she be any more annoying? And I’m sorry Adam Carolla, but for choosing Rebecca, you are now considered a jackass in my book and a sorry judge of talent. She is nowhere near as funny as ANYONE left in the field. And she’s lucky she was granted immunity because when real people vote on actual stand-up, she will have no chance.

Then we came to the “Boiler Room,” the portion of the show where each comic gets to say that they are funnier than someone else, to determine who will face off in a head to head in front of a studio audience. This week, it was a four way tie between Bill, Joey Gay, Chris Porter and Michelle Balan.
Really? Is anyone stupid enough to challenge Michelle again after she had 83% of the vote last week?
Apparently so.

After a mediocre showing from Joey Gay (all this dude does is shout, it’s his whole act), Chris Porter followed with an utterly hilarious performance. Look, if someone makes my stomach hurt from laughing, they deserve props and that’s what Chris did. Then Bill Dwyer was next, and he was almost as unfunny as Joey Gay. Michelle followed and was strong once again, though the audience favorite was Chris. So Joey and Bill went home and Michelle and Chris went back to the ship.

Thankfully there is a studio audience that knows more about what makes them laugh than Adam Carolla or those stupid judges they had in the preliminary rounds.

And can we say again how not funny Anthony Clark is? Jay Mohr, I know you’re alive because I heard you on Jim Rome’s radio show the other day. Please rescue this no-talent host!

That’s it, it’s time for Art Vandalay to go sell some latex. OUT.


Stand-Up Comics
Last Comic Standing: The First Two Go Home
Posted on 06.21.06 by Mike Farley @ 9:42 am

First of all let me say this…..there were some great comics who got snubbed by the judges in the preliminary round of “Last Comic Standing” to determine who got to go live on the Queen Mary and perform for the right to be the next LCS. I don’t remember anyone specifically (okay, it’s been a week folks) other than Nikki Payne, but she is reason enough for me to be bitter. Remember her? The chick with the lisp and enough energy to power a train? She had me laughing so hard I think I pissed the couch….and the judges took the likes of Rebecca Corry and pregnant Stella over Nikki. Well, now that the voting is in the hands of audiences, only the true great performers will get to stay in the game, and the judges can go hang out with their counterparts in figure skating. Yes Kathy Griffin, that means you!

Okay, one more random thought….does anyone else out there find host Anthony Clark to be the most unfunny person on television? How in the hell did he get this gig? So he was in a moderately funny sit-com….but if he’s ever done stand up and deserves to be here, he’s sure not showing it on LCS. Where is Jay Mohr anyway?

Okay…so the final 12 made it to their rooms on the Queen Mary……and the ones I think are very funny and have a legitimate shot to win are Roz, Josh Blue, Gabriel Iglesias, Chris, and Kristin Key.
Dark horses are Joey Gay, Bill Dwyer, April Macie, Ty Barnett and Michelle Balan. The ones who have no business being here are Stella and Rebecca.

After having dinner together and getting to know each other better, the comics’ names were chosen at random to perform and heckle each other, and the best of each were chosen by the studio audience to gain immunity….meaning, they couldn’t be kicked off in the first round. Kristin Key and Michelle showed really quick wits and were the most entertaining to watch bust on each other, but it was Roz who was voted the best heckler and Chris voted the best comic of the evening.

Then each comic got in front of a camera and stated who they thought they were funnier than, and the three with the most challenges got to perform against each other with two comics going home after the studio audience voting. It was no surprise that Stella was one of them, but a bit surprising that Michelle received just as many challenges…April Macie was the third.

As for the performances themselves…..Stella was a train wreck and it was obvious the judges wanted her on the boat just to piss off Roz. Michelle was incredibly funny (primarily busting on herself for being old, short and/or Jewish) and April was just okay. No surprise then that Michelle was voted the best comic by the audience and Stella and April went home.

So now there are 10 left, and there will be two more double-elimination rounds before the final six are left to perform with all of us at home voting. Tempers will flare as everyone vies for position, and maybe someone will get thrown overboard. Now THAT would be funny.

Vandalay, OUT.


News
Save Screech’s house
Posted on 06.17.06 by Jason Thompson @ 2:49 pm

Or don’t. Poor Dustin Diamond who played “Screech” on TV’s “Saved By The Bell” is trying to raise $250,000 through t-shirt sales so he won’t have to give up his house. Apparently, though, the big news according to this weeks “Best Week Ever” on VH1 was Diamond’s appearance on Howard Stern’s show where he discussed how big his penis is. Certainly he could always go into 1337 prOn if his shitty shirts don’t sell.


Stand-Up Comics
Stand-Up Hall of Fame: Bullz-Eye inducts their inaugural class
Posted on 05.26.06 by Will Harris @ 11:28 pm

Anyone who’s attended an open mic night at their local comedy club can testify to the fact that just because you think you’re funny and you can make your friends laugh does not automatically mean that you’re a comedian. You’ve got to have good material, you’ve got to have a sense of timing, you’ve got to have a stage presence, and…well, actually, that’s pretty much the holy trinity. It might seem easy when you’re sitting in the cheap seats, but it’s a rare individual who can bring all three of those qualities up to the mic and use them to bring the house down. After all, as Peter O’Toole said in “My Favorite Year” (though lord knows he didn’t say it first), “Dying is easy; comedy is hard.”

We decided to create a Stand-Up Comics Hall of Fame to pay our respects to those comics who, in their careers, have made us laugh ‘til our sides hurt and then some. While there are some individuals whose inclusion is a given, with each induction into the Hall, we’re going to try and mix things up by throwing in a bit of a wild card. In some cases, it might be a more recent comedian; in other cases, it might be someone who wasn’t all that famous but who was nonetheless tremendously influential to those who followed in their footsteps. Rest assured, however, that anyone who makes it through these hallowed doors has unquestionably earned their place here, and if you doubt us, don’t worry: We’ll also provide recommendations of their best material for your listening and viewing pleasure.

The Inaugural Class:

Richard Pryor - “I went to Zimbabwe…and I know how white people feel in America now: relaxed! ‘Cause when I heard the police car, I knew they weren’t coming after me!”

Rodney Dangerfield - “Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must’ve been something before electricity.”

Bill Cosby - “My father established our relationship when I was seven years old. He looked at me and said, ‘You know, I brought you into this world, and I can take you out. And it don’t make no difference to me, I’ll make another one look just like you.’”

Lenny Bruce - “Take away the right to say fuck and you take away the right to say fuck the government.”

Bill Hicks - “George Bush says ‘we are losing the war on drugs.’ Well, you know what that implies? There’s a war going on…and people on drugs are winning it! Well, what does that tell you about drugs? Some smart, creative motherfuckers on that side.”

Click here to read more about each inductee.


Stand-Up Comics
Carrot Top - so much scarier now
Posted on 05.06.06 by Jason Thompson @ 1:41 pm

Last night I was watching “The Late Late Show” and Carrot Top was a guest. Now we all know the guy has had some scary plastic surgery on his face, but now the dude looks like he’s been eating nothing but steroids. His arms are huge now, and well…it’s just fucking scary. So let’s take a trip down memory lane with photos of CT from the “normal” looking days to the current freak show.

And for an even scarier look at the new look…just hit this link for some juiced photos.


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