Who wants chicken? I know *I* did after watching the awesome commercial that opened tonight’s episode, but…did anyone else happen to read the tiny credit that ran across the bottom of the screen toward the beginning of the ad? “Los Pollos Hermanos, Inc. is a registered trademark of Madrigal Electromotive.” I don’t think we’ve ever heard anything about this parent company before, but I’m suddenly beginning to wonder if this means that we’re going to see Walt working his way even higher up the chain of command in this operation. One thing’s for certain: he and Jesse are making up for lost time with their production. I loved the cut from the chicken in the commercial to the meth in the lab, and seeing them put the baggies into the contains of batter made me realize what a well-oiled machine Gus has going for him. Indeed, for one brief moment, I allowed myself to think, “Walt and Jesse are finally back on track and proving once again that, when they actually roll up their sleeves and get down to business, they’re capable of big things.”

It didn’t last, of course.

Chalk it up to being drug-free, but Jesse’s been more than a little schizo lately. Last week, I referred to him as being “about as loud, obnoxious, and useless as any human being can be,” but this week, in addition to working perfectly alongside Walt, he’s suddenly talking about how he’s been checking the numbers and has now decided that the deal they have with Gus is, in his words, “bullshit.” Walt seems astonished by this change in attitude (”You’re now a millionaire, and you’re complaining…?”) and can’t even be bothered to discuss the matter with Jesse, who asks outright, mostly to himself, “What’s more important than money?” Not therapy, apparently. He’s continuing to attend his meetings, which is something, I suppose, and they clearly still serve as opportunity for him to get a few things out of his system, as evidenced by blending of a fictional job at a laundromat with shards of reality (”My boss is a dick, the owner a super-dick”) and his highly illuminating story about the wooden box. But after he made the very foolish decision to step out into his own dealership and allowed Badger and Skinny hijack the therapy session in order to promote the return of the blue meth to the area…? That’s a brand new low.

That reminds me: was anyone else having “Superman III” / “Office Space” flashbacks tonight? Jesse’s clearly planning to skim the excess meth from Walt’s haphazardly measured containers, which immediately brought to mind Richard Pryor’s character’s plan to skim half-cents off the paychecks at Webscoe Industries. And what was the name of that character?

Gus.

We’re through the looking glass here, people…

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Last week’s episode so wreaked havoc on my theory on how the next few episodes would play out, thanks to Hank’s parking-lot battle with the Cousins (I was sure they’d stalk him for awhile before going after him), that I walked into this week’s “Breaking Bad” with absolutely no clue about what to expect. I even said as much to Dean Norris when I talked to him, but he assured me that the show would stay intense and action-packed right through to the end of the season, adding that, despite the status of the Cousins, “There are plenty more bad guys where they came from.” I wouldn’t say that this week’s installment was entirely action-packed, but it certainly had some moments of intensity, that’s for sure.

Things kicked off with a battered and bruised (and, lest we forget, tattooed) Jesse preparing to leave the hospital, but as he’s waiting at the curb for his ride to show, he happens to see Hank rolled in on a gurney, looking decidedly worse for wear. The initial look on Jesse’s face was horror, and one wonders if maybe he thought that his own life might be in danger as well, which is a pretty reasonable consideration if you’re thinking in terms of, “If they can take down a DEA agent, they can take down anybody.” It doesn’t take long, however, for the horror to turn into bliss at the realization that the man who kicked his ass nine ways to Sunday has been taken down a peg himself.

Poor Gale. He thought that he and Walt were simpatico, but, uh, not so much. And, no, it’s not about his screw-up in setting the temperature that set Walt off last week. It’s apparently more to do with rhythms…or, at least, that’s the story that Walt’s trying to spin. Classical vs. jazz? Yeah, that explanation lasted about as long as it took for Jesse to open his dumb-ass white trash mouth. I don’t believe we’ve seen the last of Gale.

We have, however, seen the last of Walt at the SuperLab for this episode. Turns out that the lack of cell phone reception in the facility means that Jesse actually knew about Hank’s condition before Walt did. Once he finds out, however, he’s off to the hospital, where he meets up with Skyler, Walt, Jr., and, of course, Marie, along with quite a few of Hank’s fellow DEA agents. In addition to finding out that one of the Cousins survived, albeit in critical condition, we also discover that Marie had no idea that Walt’s weapon had been confiscated from him. Cue a royal ass-tearing from Mrs. Schrader, one which finds Hank’s ex-partner, Steve, getting reamed. Unfortunately, Walt finds himself on the receiving end of her venom, too, thanks to the very reasonable suggestion that none of this would’ve happened if it hadn’t been for Walt’s connection to Jesse. You can see in Walt’s eyes that he did indeed feel some guilt over the situation (though it’s likely less because of his former student and more for his own disgraceful actions a few episodes back), and the next thing you know, he’s turned into Super Family Man. You can see him actively struggling with his desire to be elsewhere and to just be doing something other than sitting around, but he’s trying his best to be there for a change…even at the expense of the deal he’s made with Gus.

Meanwhile, Jesse’s being about as loud, obnoxious, and useless as any human being can be. He’s really been all up and down the emotional spectrum over the course of this season, and I have to admit that it was good fun to see him acting so utterly irresponsible as he giddily explored the SuperLab to the strains of Prince Fatty’s “Shimmy Shimmy Ya,” but it struck me as being a little ridiculous. Yes, he’s been through a lot of the past few days, and he’s more earned himself the chance to blow off a little steam, but after he kicked so much ass as a meth maker on his own, it still rang untrue to me that he wouldn’t at least be trying to figure out the lab on his own. But it was a typical dumb-ass move for Jesse to call Walt at the hospital, and it was a cruel but character-appropriate closing comment that Jesse made: “Tell your douchebag brother-in-law to head to the light.” Nice. The guy’s a complete dumbass, but you can’t help but love him. Well, we can’t, anyway. Victor – Gus’s right-hand man – doesn’t appear to feel the same way…at all.

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This show is going through one of those periods where you hate to call any episode out as being the best of the season, not because it wasn’t…because, brother, you’d better believe it was…but because you find yourself saying it so many times during the season that it feels like you’re damning it with faint praise. I mean, in essence, what I’m saying is, “Holy shit, that was the best episode since last week!” Which it was, but…oh, never mind, let’s just get started.

It was funny to start the episode with that flashback, seeing that one of the cousins was a crybaby back in the day. I knew the whole “I wish he was dead” comment was going to come back into play; I just didn’t think it would happen quite so quickly. Say, does anyone know if Tuco’s uncle has written a text on child rearing? I feel like he may have a couple of lessons to teach me beyond what we saw tonight.

But let’s get serious, shall we? Holy shit, I knew Hank was going to go ballistic on Jesse, but…wow. To say that that scene was everything I expected would be a lie, because it never occurred to me that he’d give him quite that level of beatdown. That was a full-fledged, no-holds-barred pummeling, with absolutely no restraint whatsoever. Whew. You better believe Internal Affairs is going to want a word with him…

Of course Saul is going to be at Jesse’s bedside, taking pictures and trying to get the money shot. The Rocky joke was good, but the Beatle quip when Walt walked into the room was better: “You’re now officially the cute one of the group. Paul, meet Ringo. Ringo, meet Paul.” It was absolutely stupid for Walt to sneak in to see Jesse, even if he was concerned about his condition. Yeah, he could’ve explained his presence away with the old “he’s my former student” line, but that’s got to be getting pretty hoary by now. I have to admit that I didn’t expect Walt to express guilt over the situation, but once he did, I certainly wasn’t surprised that it lasted for only a couple of seconds before he had to remind Jesse, “But the plan did work…” Personally, I thought Jesse’s speech was a little long, but, shit, you couldn’t really argue with much of it…which is why I didn’t expect Saul to flip and suggest that Jesse might actually want to go a different direction. Nor did I expect Jesse to be quite so bitter toward Walt. (”You’re my free pass…bitch.”) I did agree with Walt’s theory that if Jesse didn’t give up the ghost during Hank’s “interrogation,” he probably never will, but I certainly couldn’t ignore Saul’s ominous suggestion about “options.”

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“Daleks. I sometimes think those mutated misfits will terrorize the universe for the rest of time.”

Peter Davison’s Fifth Doctor, following yet another skirmish with the cockroaches from Skaro, uttered the above quote near the end of his reign as the Time Lord. If he’d known then that he’d still be dealing with them in his Eleventh incarnation, he may well have decided to forego his impending regeneration, and just gone ahead and called it a millennium. Many “Doctor Who” fans would likely have sympathized with him had he done so. Having been writing these recaps for five years now, I am exhausted by Daleks as well. What else is there for me to say about them that I haven’t already said, or hasn’t been said by countless others time and again? And yet here I am, once again backed into a corner by some angry pepperpots demanding that I find something fresh to say on the subject. Of course, if the series can’t be bothered to do so, I don’t really see why I should, either.

Surprisingly, “Victory of the Daleks,” written by Mark Gatiss, is drenched in promise at its start. Surprising not only because all ground concerning the Daleks seems so thoroughly trod at this point, but also because the last thing Gatiss wrote for the series, “The Idiot’s Lantern,” was a forgettable misfire. The idea of subservient, benevolent Daleks isn’t a new one. It was first explored in Patrick Troughton’s first story “The Power of the Daleks,” but since that serial was junked by the BBC ages ago, only the most hardcore of fans are going to care about this. For all intents and purposes the idea is new, or at least new to us. And the show has a field day with the notion for about ten minutes. Professor Bracewell’s (Bill Paterson) Ironsides are going to win the war against the Nazis, and they’ll serve you tea as well. Just the notion that the Daleks will become this story’s Inglourious Basterds is a fun one, since the Nazis are what the Daleks were based on in the first place. With “Victory of the Daleks,” on some obscure meta level, the entire concept of the Daleks has seemingly come full circle.

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Every film, no matter how good or bad, has its fans, and if there are enough of those fans, then the film is inevitably destined to receive a special-edition DVD. This has been proven time and time again, which means there’s no longer any point in seeing such DVDs and howling with laughter at the suggestion that such treatment is warranted of a film like…oh, say, “The Wraith.” If you’re not part of the camp that’s already in love with the film, then better you should treat it like a pop culture experiment: watch it and see if you can determine why it’s developed such a cult following over the years.

Written and directed by Mike Marvin, “The Wraith” revolves around the mysterious Jake Kesey – played by Charlie Sheen, in his first leading role – who turns up in town right at the same time as a masked man who drives a completely kick-ass car known as…you guessed it…The Wraith. It seems that there’s this gang of drag-racing car thieves, led by a thuggish jackass named Packard Walsh (Nick Cassavetes), who challenge local teens to races where, if they lose, they have to surrender their car. Packard’s ego has gotten so large that he’s convinced himself that Keri (Sherilyn Fenn) is his girlfriend, but she’s got eyes for Jake, and it is mutual, baby. You can imagine how Packard feels about that development. Meanwhile, The Wraith is challenging members of Packard’s gang to races which tend to end in only one participant making it out alive, leading Sheriff Loomis (Randy Quaid) to begin investigating the strange goings-on. Say, is it possible that Jake and The Wraith are one in the same? And what’s the story on Keri’s ex-boyfriend, Jamie, who was killed in one of Packard’s races? You don’t suppose that Jake is actually Jamie, having been brought back to life by some unspecified means, given a change in appearance, and provided with the aforementioned kick-ass car in order to extract his revenge?

Nahhhhhhh.

If you’re not an aficionado of cars, ’80s cheese, or Sherilyn Fenn’s Breasts (yes, they deserve capitalization), then you may struggle to make it through “The Wraith,” but if you’re determined to do it in the name of science, then watching while listening to Marvin’s commentary helps a great deal. It’s also a major bonus that the film’s special features are the work of Red Shirt Pictures, who’ve made a great name for themselves by providing excellent bonus material for cult “classics” like this, so be sure to check out the interviews with Marvin and co-star Clint Howard (whose hair in the movie is fucking outstanding), as well as the featurette about the cars used in the film and the cult that surrounds “The Wraith.” That cult isn’t likely to grow any larger as a result of this special edition, but it’ll sure make the existing membership happy.

Click to buy “The Wraith: Special Edition”

Remember how I opened last week’s blog by saying, “This, my friends, was one hell of an episode, offering up multiple moments which will almost certainly inspire me to say the same of future episodes”? I couldn’t have been more right: not only was this the best episode of Season 3, but it was one of the best installments of “Breaking Bad” to date, serving up moments that were nailbiting to the Nth degree and an ending which left me screaming at the TV, demanding that next week’s episode start right now, dammit!

Well, it’s about time the Cousins got legitimately threatening again. They’ve just kind of been hovering in the background lately, glowering but not really doing anything specific to match their completely bad-ass look. Now, to be fair, it’s not like they haven’t wanted to seriously fuck some people’s shit up…specifically, Walt’s shit…but they’ve been held at bay by their attempts to maintain some semblance of civility within the organization. That whole pre-credits sequence was nice and nerve-jangling, but its conclusion, with the seamless sonic blending of one cousin biting into a piece of fruit and the other dropping his axe into the officer’s skull, was just another example of the show’s ability to get a laugh out of some seriously dark shit. The next time we saw them, they were sitting in Gus’s fine, upstanding establishment, back to their usual all-you-have-to-do-is-look-at-us-to-know-that-you-shouldn’t-fuck-with-us schtick, but, hey, if it works, why change it? It was instantly obvious that they had no intention of going anywhere until Gus gave them what they wanted…which, of course, is why he eventually did just that.

Sort of.

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This, my friends, was one hell of an episode, offering up multiple moments which will almost certainly inspire me to say the same of future episodes. Arguably the best of those moments came when we were made privy to a sight which both yours truly and Bullz-Eye.com editor-in-chief Jamey Codding have been waiting to see since January…but we’ll get to that later.

First, it’s time to flash even farther back.

How completely surreal to have the episode start off with footage from the first episode of “Breaking Bad.” I can’t say as I ever really considered the origins of the R.V., except to figure that, since Walt hadn’t given Jesse a whole lot of money to buy it in the first place, it was simply as good as he could find. With the benefit of hindsight, however, it’s pretty damned easy to imagine that a dumb-ass like Jesse circa Season 1 would have a little trouble coping with a sudden cash influx like the one Walt handed him. Some of the shit Jesse was spouting during the scene was pretty hilarious, as was the bit where the gang re-entered the real world at daybreak with one of them puking in the VIP Parking space. It was particularly nice to see Combo resurrected, even if only for the duration of the pre-credits sequence: in addition to reconfirming just how tight Jesse and Combo used to be back in the day and revealing Combo’s crucial role in the fruition of the Walt ‘n’ Jesse partnership, it also showed that, all things considered, he was probably lucky to have lived as long as he did. (Best moment: when Jesse groans that he only has about $1400 left and Combo hopefully suggests, “Waffle House?”)

Oh, if you’re wondering about the song they played in the strip club, it’s by the Teddybears and it’s called “Rocket Scientist,” but as of this writing, it ain’t available on iTunes. Sorry ’bout that, but at least you can hear it again by clicking below:

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It’s been 10 years since the release of Jonathan Glazer’s “Sexy Beast,” and yet the movie remains one of the most unforgettable crime thrillers ever made. Much of the film’s success was thanks to Sir Ben Kingsley’s electrifying performance as the venomous Don Logan, so it’s not surprising that the latest expletive-laced thriller from writers Louis Mellis and David Scinto is highlighted by the same kind of scene-chewing roles. “44 Inch Chest” assembles a cast of some of the best British actors working today, including Ray Winstone as Colin Diamond, a gangster contemplating murder after his wife informs him that she’s fallen in love with another man. After his friends kidnap her secret lover and take him back to their secret hideout to exact revenge, the heartbroken Colin must decide between killing in the name of love and walking away the better man.

Though “44 Inch Chest” is filled with lots of clever dialogue between Colin and his friends (an entertaining Tom Wilkinson, Ian McShane, John Hurt and Stephen Dillane), the story leaves much to be desired. There simply isn’t enough going on to fill an entire movie, and the fact that it’s structured more like a play (with a majority of the action taking place in a single room) only makes you wonder why it wasn’t conceived as one. If you can make it through the sluggish 95-minute runtime, “44 Inch Chest” is worth watching for the performances. Just don’t expect to be blown away.

Click to buy “44 Inch Chest”

As guest blogger, I will open in the only way I should: by offering my sincerest apologies for not getting the blog for last night’s “American Idol” completed in a more timely fashion. I’ve been battling an allergy attack since yesterday (the result, I feel certain, of all the dust I kicked up in my office while scouring the joint for tax receipts), and, quite frankly, I feel like crap. But I know Mike’s got a lot going on these days, what with his big move and all, so I was always going to do this for him. I just had to build up my strength, which I have now done, so with my cup of hot lemon tea with honey sitting by the keyboard, let’s get to talking about who got the boot.

Things kicked off last night with a medley of Elvis Presley songs – “Burning Love,” “Teddy Bear,” “Return to Sender,” and “Viva Last Vegas” – which neither did damage to the reputation of the King of Rock ‘n’ Roll nor did it any favors. The best part about “Burning Love” was the cute moment where we saw Katie working her knees for all they were worth, and Lee’s vocals on “Teddy Bear” sounded like those of a lounge singer, but I actually kind of dug it. Otherwise, though, I was pretty underwhelmed by the performances, and when “Viva Las Vegas” kicked off, all I could think of was how much better the Dead Kennedys did the song.

From there, the program went green for a minute or so as we were treated to a Ford-sponsored commercial with several of the contestants performing a version of…wait for it…the Polyphonic Spree’s “Light and Day / Reach for the Sun.” How completely and utterly surreal, but it sounded a damned sight better than any of those Elvis covers.

Moving on to the first of the night’s departures, Cap’n Seacrest narrowed down the playing field to three contestants:

* Casey, whose version of “Lawdy Miss Claudy” Mike described as “not bad at all vocally, but just a so-so rating on the entertainment meter.”
* Aaron, who offered a take on “Blue Suede Shoes,” which Mike called “cheesy but not horrible.”
* Andrew, who Mike buried in the Not So Good column last night, saying, “It wasn’t awful, but not at all star quality and easily the worst of the night.”

So long, Andrew…and, really, was there ever any doubt that you’d be one of the two players leaving the game tonight? But, hey, at least we got your version of James Morrison’s “You Give Me Something” as a farewell, which served to remind us that, all things considered, America probably made the right decision.

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I begin this week’s “Breaking Bad” blog with a confession: it’s the first episode this season where I didn’t have an advance screener, which meant that I was watching it along with the rest of you. The reason I confess this is because it also means that, in order to get my blog knocked out as quickly as possible, I had to watch it live on the TV set in my office, which is TiVo-less. It’s the set in the living room that has the TiVo, and…well, that’s recording “The Celebrity Apprentice” for me. Hmmm…suddenly, what was intended to be an attempt to earn your sympathy has abruptly become fodder for insult. This has gone terribly wrong. Perhaps I’d better go ahead and get to talking about “Breaking Bad” in order to try and save face. (Yes, I know: it’s far too late for that.)

Well, Jesse might be clean, but he’s clearly no smarter now than he was when he was still using. Kids, here’s your lesson for this week: if you’re ever driving a bullet-riddled RV and find yourself in desperate need of fuel, do not…repeat, do not…try to use methamphetamine as currency. While I can appreciate the need to take Old Faithful for a spin for “work” purposes, when it comes to potential witnesses trying to pick it out of a line-up, it’s hard to conceive of a more memorable vehicle. It kinds of stands out in a crowd, you know? I’ll give it to Jesse, though: ever since admitting to himself -whether rightly or wrongly – that he’s the bad guy, he’s developed balls of steel. Trading gas for meth with a state trooper right there in the store…? That’s pretty fucking ballsy, you’ve got to admit. The best line of the scene, though, had to be when Cashier Cara offered her concerns about the addictiveness of meth and Jesse assured her that it had been blown way out of proportion. (”It’s a media thing.”)

We had some great scenes from Saul Goodman this week. Of course Saul’s got a class action lawsuit working against the airline. He’s just that kind of guy. I loved both the guy we saw in his office (”You’ve been the victim of a terrible accident, some discomfort is to be expected”), as well as the phone call later in the episode, where he assures someone that they needn’t have had a wing fall on their house and that even a bag of peanuts is enough to get them into the lawsuit. Awesome. Mike’s mikes turned up a fierce war of words between Walt and Skyler over her revelation that she’d fucked Ted, a conversation which led Walt to offer one of his typically nonsensical declarations (”I’ll suit myself to his face!”) and found him heading over to the office to confront Ted in person and give a predictably ineffective performance.

Damned shame about the potted plant, though. Poor bastard only had a week left ’til retirement…

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